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(NPR)   This year's Super Bowl Bud commercial featuring a puppy and a Clydesdale proved to be the most dust-in-room creating one of all   (npr.org) divider line 14
    More: Sappy, Super Bowl Bud, Clydesdale, Super Bowl  
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3463 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2014 at 4:18 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-03 04:49:41 PM  
6 votes:
Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder at these new experiences, but ignorant to the Spiritual Poison that awaits.

We see the man and woman are clearly interested in one another in a natural, normal heterosexual fashion and it is suggested that once they become better acquainted they will indeed engage in heterosexual congress, his copious ejaculate filling her loins until her body overflows and it trickles down her thigh. But their natural and wholesome expression of God's desire as mandated in Genesis (man and woman cleve together? remember that part?), the dog is now "separated" from this as the ruthless, lusty, muscular gang of "studs" have surrounded the car, taken the "pup", and now enclosed him in their area, their turf, where the big, burley, sweaty, stud "Clydesdale" with his prodigious turgidity can now be free to seduce and have his way with the "puppy."

Notice how they frolic uninhibited in the pen while the loving parental figures can only look on, helpless. Clearly the attractive woman with supple, pouting bosom and ample round hips represents Christian Eve, while the resourceful, strong man with his muscular forearms and thighs, his cowboy jeans suggesting, but not flaunting, a generous manhood that will please the woman in manners proscribed by Almighty God, taking her in multi-positioned sex throughout the course of their rural day, all in a beautiful representation of Christ as Husband of the Church (us). But the Beer company doesn't care about the Family. They say, "Let your young men run free, let them come to the city and drink beer so their senses are dulled when the "studs" mount them and penetrate them deeply with huge erections, laying them in slings with their feet suspended from the ceiling as they coat each other with lubricants and numbing agents that allow them to remain erect longer without reaching orgasm, the only thing that will bring escape for the smooth young man, now their plaything. But the penetrators don't reach climax and stop. No, they continue to savage the youth's anus for terrible and unnatural duration because they've trained themselves in their cult of penis worship to prolong and forestall orgasm through drugs and obsessive discipline.

And the youth's parents can only weep and pray from the fence line, knowing that their son is an anal sex slave of The Gay.

And you think it's adorable. You should be ashamed.
2014-02-03 04:27:12 PM  
4 votes:
Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...
cdn5.feeldesain.com
2014-02-03 05:24:08 PM  
3 votes:

Dahnkster: Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...
[cdn5.feeldesain.com image 630x329]


Hi, i'm Sarah McLachlan...
2014-02-03 04:26:36 PM  
2 votes:

dryknife: Bob Dylan selling Chryslers made me tear up a little.


Lay lady lay... lay across the spacious bench seat made with real Corinthian leather.
2014-02-03 04:23:57 PM  
2 votes:
Now if it were a lesbian puppy barking Arabic, you'd hear the outrage.
2014-02-04 02:59:20 PM  
1 votes:

arkansized: The commercial was notable for the brief scene of the Clyde jumping the fence.
That's something you don't see every day.



Yeah, usually they just lean on the fences for a few seconds and over they fall. It is hard to believe that the Clydesdale breed is actually SMALL for a destrier, though most breeds have long gone extinct. If you've ever seen one up close, their hooves are HUGE...
2014-02-03 05:05:01 PM  
1 votes:
I found the implication that the horses ate the farmer and then freed the dog pretty terrifying.
2014-02-03 05:00:26 PM  
1 votes:

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder a ...


THAT is goddam impressive!
2014-02-03 04:54:14 PM  
1 votes:

Dahnkster: Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...
[cdn5.feeldesain.com image 630x329]


There were a LOT of dog commercials for some reason, it seemed. II liked these both, and for different reasons. This one was absolutely hilarious for sure, but the Clydesdale one was definitely 'cute'.

mediablitz: For some, it is proof the end times are near


From your link...
Tapley says the Budweiser commercial in which a Labrador retriever puppy is born among Clydesdale horses and keeps running away from adoptive human parents to rejoin them is evidence of the nearing of the end times.

Was there a first part to this video that I missed? I thought he just kept sneaking out of the kennel next door...

Moving on...

In an interview broadcast by Colbert, Tapley said that he is unusually attuned to phallic symbols, enabling him to see them where others may overlook them.
It's "a gift from the holy spirit," he said.

Yeah, I bet it is... Why the fark isn't THIS crazy shiat on Fark today?

arkansized: The commercial was notable for the brief scene of the Clyde jumping the fence.
That's something you don't see every day.


Maybe I have better drugs than you...
2014-02-03 04:45:26 PM  
1 votes:
2014-02-03 04:38:14 PM  
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Could they find a more overwrought cliche farking commercial? That thing was a by the numbers sappy POS.


THIS! I'll be curious as to which trope they'll trot out next year. Maybe it will be a continuing saga wherein the puppy has grown up and is owned by that returned soldier. Only now the dog is going over to Afghanistan for military duty and it's the Clydesdale saluting patriotically as the dog boards the plane.

/shouldn't give them any free ideas
2014-02-03 04:33:05 PM  
1 votes:
I've always thought there's an inverse correlation between the quality of a beer commercial and the quality of the beer being advertised therein.
2014-02-03 04:31:42 PM  
1 votes:
The Coke commercial wins, hands down, for causing the most outrage among right-wingers, though.
2014-02-03 04:31:42 PM  
1 votes:
I didn't care for it.  The dog was rather annoying.  Kept barking at the horse, digging under the fence, even if they were friends, I thought the dog could use some discipline.
 
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