Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Deadspin)   Yo, Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith, I'm real happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but 9/11 was an inside job   (deadspin.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Super Bowl MVP, Super Bowl  
•       •       •

6754 clicks; posted to Sports » on 03 Feb 2014 at 5:52 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-03 12:26:13 AM  
31 votes:
OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.
2014-02-03 08:29:26 AM  
10 votes:
I forgot who I shamelessly copied these from, but it was a farker, probably pocketninja, and I found it so amusing I copied it into a doc I call "Other People's Stuff":

BUSH: So, what's the plan again?

CHENEY: Well, we need to invade Iraq and Afghanistan. So what we've decided to do is crash a whole bunch of remote-controlled planes into Wall Street and the Pentagon, say they're real hijacked commercial planes, and blame it on the towelheads; then we'll just blow up the buildings ourselves to make sure they actually fall down.

RUMSFELD: Right! And we'll make sure that some of the hijackers are agents of Saddam Hussein! That way we'll have no problem getting the public to buy the invasion.

CHENEY: No, Don, we won't.

RUMSFELD: We won't?

CHENEY: No, that's too obvious. We'll make the hijackers Al Qaeda and then just imply a connection to Iraq.

RUMSFELD: But if we're just making up the whole thing, why not just put Saddam's fingerprints on the attack?

CHENEY: (sighing) It just has to be this way, Don. Ups the ante, as it were. This way, we're not insulated if things go wrong in Iraq. Gives us incentive to get the invasion right the first time around.

BUSH: I'm a total idiot who can barely read, so I'll buy that. But I've got a question. Why do we need to crash planes into the Towers at all? Since everyone knows terrorists already tried to blow up that building complex from the ground up once, why don't we just blow it up like we plan to anyway, and blame the bombs on the terrorists?

RUMSFELD: Mr. President, you don't understand. It's much better to sneak into the buildings ourselves in the days before the attacks, plant the bombs and then make it look like it was exploding planes that brought the buildings down. That way, we involve more people in the plot, stand a much greater chance of being exposed and needlessly complicate everything!

CHENEY: Of course, just toppling the Twin Towers will never be enough. No one would give us the war mandate we need if we just blow up the Towers. Clearly, we also need to shoot a missile at a small corner of the Pentagon to create a mightily underpublicized additional symbol of international terrorism -- and then, obviously, we need to fake a plane crash in the middle of farking nowhere in rural Pennsylvania.

RUMSFELD: Yeah, it goes without saying that the level of public outrage will not be sufficient without that crash in the middle of farking nowhere.

CHENEY: And the Pentagon crash -- we'll have to do it in broad daylight and say it was a plane, even though it'll really be a cruise missile.

BUSH: Wait, why do we have to use a missile?

CHENEY: Because it's much easier to shoot a missile and say it was a plane. It's not easy to steer a real passenger plane into the Pentagon. Planes are hard to come by.

BUSH: But aren't we using two planes for the Twin Towers?

CHENEY: Mr. President, you're missing the point. With the Pentagon, we use a missile, and say it was a plane.

BUSH: Right, but I'm saying, why don't we just use a plane and say it was a plane? We'll be doing that with the Twin Towers, right?

CHENEY: Right, but in this case, we use a missile. (Throws hands up in frustration) Don, can you help me out here?

RUMSFELD: Mr. President, in Washington, we use a missile because it's sneakier that way. Using an actual plane would be too obvious, even though we'll be doing just that in New York.

BUSH: Oh, OK.

RUMSFELD: The other good thing about saying that it was a passenger jet is that that way, we have to invent a few hundred fictional victims and account for a nonexistent missing crew and plane. It's always better when you leave more cover story to invent, more legwork to do and more possible holes to investigate. Doubt, legwork and possible exposure -- you can't pull off any good conspiracy without them.

BUSH: You guys are brilliant! Because if there's one thing about Americans -- they won't let a president go to war without a damn good reason. How could we ever get the media, the corporate world and our military to endorse an invasion of a secular Iraqi state unless we faked an attack against New York at the hands of a bunch of Saudi religious radicals? Why, they'd never buy it. Look at how hard it was to get us into Vietnam, Iraq the last time, Kosovo?

CHENEY: Like pulling teeth!

RUMSFELD: Well, I'm sold on the idea. Let's call the Joint Chiefs, the FAA, the New York and Washington, D.C., fire departments, Rudy Giuliani, all three networks, the families of a thousand fictional airline victims, MI5, the FBI, FEMA, the NYPD, Larry Eagleburger, Osama bin Laden, Noam Chomsky and the fifty thousand other people we'll need to pull this off. There isn't a moment to lose!

BUSH: Don't forget to call all of those Wall Street hotshots who donated $100 million to our last campaign. They'll be thrilled to know that we'll be targeting them for execution as part of our thousand-tentacled modern-day bonehead Reichstag scheme! After all, if we're going to make martyrs -- why not make them out of our campaign paymasters? shiat, didn't the Merrill Lynch guys say they needed a refurbishing in their New York offices?

RUMSFELD: Oh, they'll get a refurbishing, all right. Just in time for the "Big Wedding"!

ALL THREE: (cackling) Mwah-hah-hah!

 :
2014-02-03 06:44:02 AM  
8 votes:
What he should've said was "Investigate the Broncos" cuz their performance was an epic disaster so tragic it could only be perpetrated by players within their own side of the field.
2014-02-03 01:27:09 AM  
6 votes:
I'm going to Army, Mother!
2014-02-03 12:40:10 AM  
6 votes:
www.godlikeproductions.com

/srsly
2014-02-03 10:02:21 AM  
4 votes:
i47.photobucket.com
2014-02-03 09:00:35 AM  
3 votes:
Well we had a good run, us folks in the government conspiracy labs. But after this guy blew our cover last night, we know it's time to throw in the towel. That was some fine detective work there and some damn good reporting too, I tip my hat to this gentleman. In the coming days you will all soon know exactly who was behind 9/11, why, and how Osama bin Laden is really just an elaborate Muppet created in the 70s. Jim Henson started the whole thing.
2014-02-03 07:50:58 AM  
3 votes:
He's right, ignoring the August 6, 2001 was an inside job.

//though, it kinda looked all sorta outside job too (see below)

cdn.stripersonline.com
2014-02-03 07:45:42 AM  
3 votes:
Obama did  9/11 to distract us from Ben Ghazi giving obama's birth certififcate to Emelia Earheart for safe keeping!  STUDY IT OUT
2014-02-03 06:13:10 AM  
3 votes:
Wait . . . The guy may be on to something. Better investigate.
2014-02-03 12:14:08 PM  
2 votes:
i1182.photobucket.com
2014-02-03 12:09:25 PM  
2 votes:

www.fatwallet.com

"Chris Christie is made from people!"

2014-02-03 11:56:44 AM  
2 votes:
9/11 was part of a traffic study.
2014-02-03 11:31:43 AM  
2 votes:
2014-02-03 11:10:55 AM  
2 votes:
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
2014-02-03 10:48:24 AM  
2 votes:

Print'sNotDead: macross87: I thought 9/11 was caused by the shooters on the grassy knoll. Or was it Chaney on a bird hunt?

C'mon y'all, everybody know it was Obama that did 9/11.


I never noticed it before:
Osama bin Laden
Obama, sin laden

So we see clearly, that all you need to do to believe that Ob/sama is the antichrist is to shuffle around some BS,

// or maybe he bears all of humanity's iniquities - he's laden with our sins?
2014-02-03 10:21:30 AM  
2 votes:

mentallo69: coeyagi: mentallo69: coeyagi: mentallo69: All you Seahawk haters!

Suck it, you guys talked shiat all week. There was nothing stopping these guys. That was the definition of spanking!
[ias4u-rppftbinc.netdna-ssl.com image 800x480]

49er fans......Cant wait to play you guys again. Seattle and San Fran are the two best teams in the NFL. Good Rivalry.

Take this sh*t to the Sports tab.  This has nothing to do with the Super Bowl and everything do with insufferable 9/11 truther asshats.

It's in the sports tab stupid

Hey stupid, then address the article, don't threadshiat or threadjack with irrelevant sh*t.  I am sure there is another thread where you can gloat.

And it was cross-tabbed (and it shouldn't have, because then we get idiots like you posting irrelevant sh*t, Thanks a lot, admins)

//glad to see Peyton choke too


OH Shut the Fark UP.....people like you biatch and whine about anything you pussy. It's their website. If they want to cross link it they can do whatever they want.


"We're secretly crossposted a volatile subject in the Politics Tab with one of the most popular annual sporting events in the Sports Tab. Let's see if anyone notices."
2014-02-03 09:37:46 AM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-02-03 09:01:42 AM  
2 votes:
he's clearly studied it out
2014-02-03 08:28:12 AM  
2 votes:
I love Malcolm Smith's reaction.

Dufuq?
2014-02-03 08:02:21 AM  
2 votes:
way to steal the kid's moment for your insanity, you farking fruit loop.
2014-02-03 12:54:18 AM  
2 votes:

mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.


GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T
2014-02-03 12:49:38 AM  
2 votes:

Bucky Katt: Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?

He doesn't care.  He got his message out and that's the only important thing.


I wonder how delusional you get at that point. I wonder if he thought "IF I CAN GET ON THAT CAMERA EVERYONE WILL SEE AND DEMAND IT BE INVESTIGATED!"
2014-02-03 12:08:56 AM  
2 votes:

Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?


And let the ridicule ... BEGIN!
2014-02-03 12:07:49 AM  
2 votes:
My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?
2014-02-03 05:06:58 PM  
1 vote:

hardinparamedic: The look on his face is priceless.

"Is this cracker serious"

I wish he would have knocked his teeth into next century.


That might have put an end to the Truther movement.
2014-02-03 04:29:45 PM  
1 vote:
Boy, my confidence for Sochi security is running high right now!
2014-02-03 02:08:23 PM  
1 vote:
Since he was not born in the US, Obama has no authority to investigate 9/11 or any citizen for that matter.
2014-02-03 01:58:54 PM  
1 vote:
I hope he got beaten with batons after that.
2014-02-03 01:57:19 PM  
1 vote:

Lost Thought 00: Unoriginal_Username: How the hell did he get up there in the first place?

Stadium employee.

He's since been arrested.


So what you're saying is that it was an inside job, and now the authorities are engaged in efforts to keep him out of the public eye? I knew it!
2014-02-03 01:52:12 PM  
1 vote:

FLMountainMan: hermitage_deux:
//// three towers obviously demo'd...

World Trade Center 7?  Are you farking kidding me?

Another copypasta I saved from Fark, forget who the poster for this one was:

Bush: Alright, so we're having planes run into all the buildings, right?

Henchmen: Yep! Well,...no.

Bush: What do you mean?

Henchmen: Well, we thought that we'd go ahead and destroy WTC 7 inexplicably.

Bush: Wha...why? We're covering up all the other demolitions with plane crashes, why not WTC 7?

Henchmen: I can see your point, yes.

Bush: Well?

Henchmen: We're out of planes and hijackers, sir. Only four planes fly out of airports every day, and the hijackers we're using are the only 19 we could find. No other radical Muslims want to hurt America.

Bush: Well why not just leave WTC 7 alone then instead of creating needless questions from the media?

Henchmen: Because shut up, that's why.


/I'm the Shia Lebeouf of Fark


Maybe the plane that ended up in the field was meant to fly into WTC 7. Maybe it's Maybelline or Aliens.
2014-02-03 11:26:40 AM  
1 vote:

IAmRight: mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.

GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T


24.media.tumblr.com
2014-02-03 10:54:11 AM  
1 vote:
did the nazis burn the Reichstag to seize control?
that's what we're taught in highschool... so, maybe not so crazy.

/ if historical fact ... then it's a recent precedent
// Bush senior ... financier, etc
///false flag
//// three towers obviously demo'd...
//// BUT... superbowl press conf was ridiculous option
2014-02-03 10:49:38 AM  
1 vote:
My favorite thing about the truthers I know is that they think Bush is both the master mind behind the greatest attack on American civilians ever AND functions just above mentally disabled.
2014-02-03 10:21:03 AM  
1 vote:
Well, it wouldn't have been a true New York or New Jersey event without the "Crazy guy on the subway" demographic being represented.
2014-02-03 09:56:58 AM  
1 vote:
images.sodahead.com
2014-02-03 09:53:44 AM  
1 vote:

borg: HawgWild: Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?

And let the ridicule ... BEGIN!

He'll be  a hero to the Alex Jones crowd


This man is now public enemy number one. I want all loyal soldiers of the Intergalactic Socialist Reptilian Republic to devote their utmost to tracking down this repressive reactionary immediately.
2014-02-03 09:52:48 AM  
1 vote:
Ever notice that NOT ONE of the truthers were actually at Ground Zero or the Pentagon?  You gotta be a special kind of stupid to believe their crap.

images.sodahead.com
2014-02-03 09:50:57 AM  
1 vote:

Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?


That hasn't stopped Teabaggers in Congress from DERPing
2014-02-03 09:43:46 AM  
1 vote:

whooter: Better yet, how does dude manage to just walk away after that?


How the hell did he get up there in the first place?


/and a shiat kicking on live television would have been an added bonus
2014-02-03 09:38:38 AM  
1 vote:

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Tymast: Obama did  9/11 to distract us from Ben Ghazi giving obama's birth certififcate to Emelia Earheart for safe keeping!  STUDY IT OUT

I keep scrolling through yahell article comments waiting to find someone blaming it on Obama.  You know it will happen.


Obama did 9/11 to bamboozle Republicans into starting unpopular wars so he could snatch the whitehouse. This is what liberals are talking about when they brag about what a tell he is.
2014-02-03 09:36:57 AM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: IAmRight: mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.

GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T

SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS A RULE???


The funny rule is perpetrated by PEOPLE WITHIN OUR OWN GOVERNMENT
2014-02-03 09:23:50 AM  
1 vote:
Well, I'm finally convinced.
2014-02-03 09:22:19 AM  
1 vote:

macross87: I thought 9/11 was caused by the shooters on the grassy knoll. Or was it Chaney on a bird hunt?


C'mon y'all, everybody know it was Obama that did 9/11.
2014-02-03 09:22:01 AM  
1 vote:

FLMountainMan: I forgot who I shamelessly copied these from, but it was a farker, probably pocketninja, and I found it so amusing I copied it into a doc I call "Other People's Stuff":


Thanks for posting that. I am so stealing it to use next time I conduct a seminar or lecture on conspiracy ideation. Absolutely brilliant.
2014-02-03 09:05:40 AM  
1 vote:

HawgWild: Di Atribe: IAmRight: mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.

GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T

SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS A RULE???

LET'S ALL WRITE COMPLAINTS TO THE MODS IN AN ANGRY FASHION!


NOW LET'S NOT LOSE OUR HEADS OVER THIS!

You have to wonder about security. This happened at one of the most secure sporting events ever (probably since they had so many black helicopters with contrails fly over). Amazing.
2014-02-03 08:42:17 AM  
1 vote:
He was just asking questions.

I love look on Malcolm Smiths face. Kind of a combination of fear and confusion.
2014-02-03 08:42:03 AM  
1 vote:

coeyagi: mentallo69: All you Seahawk haters!

Suck it, you guys talked shiat all week. There was nothing stopping these guys. That was the definition of spanking!
[ias4u-rppftbinc.netdna-ssl.com image 800x480]

49er fans......Cant wait to play you guys again. Seattle and San Fran are the two best teams in the NFL. Good Rivalry.

Take this sh*t to the Sports tab.  This has nothing to do with the Super Bowl and everything do with insufferable 9/11 truther asshats.


This is cross-posted in the Sports Tab.
2014-02-03 08:40:11 AM  
1 vote:

mentallo69: All you Seahawk haters!

Suck it, you guys talked shiat all week. There was nothing stopping these guys. That was the definition of spanking!
[ias4u-rppftbinc.netdna-ssl.com image 800x480]

49er fans......Cant wait to play you guys again. Seattle and San Fran are the two best teams in the NFL. Good Rivalry.


Lombardi Trophies Won: 21st Century:

Seattle Seahawks...1
Santa Clara 49ers.. 0
2014-02-03 08:23:04 AM  
1 vote:
Glad the average seattle man was represented at the game
2014-02-03 08:21:32 AM  
1 vote:

whooter: Better yet, how does dude manage to just walk away after that?


If that had been Ray Lewis being interrupted, he just may not have.
2014-02-03 08:06:25 AM  
1 vote:
My favorite sports interview interruption still has to be the bird man from the US Open a couple years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOdGik4Cq2k
2014-02-03 07:08:52 AM  
1 vote:

Professor Farksworth: Bucky Katt: Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?

He doesn't care.  He got his message out and that's the only important thing.

I wonder how delusional you get at that point. I wonder if he thought "IF I CAN GET ON THAT CAMERA EVERYONE WILL SEE AND DEMAND IT BE INVESTIGATED!"



massive free publicity for the voices in his head is massive free publicity for the voices in his head.
2014-02-03 06:47:59 AM  
1 vote:
was looking for the full version came across this hilarious version.


http://www.frequency.com/video/you-see-this-new-england-truther/14743 0 980/-/5-12908354
2014-02-03 06:43:03 AM  
1 vote:

IlGreven: ...were there this many conspiracy nuts on the JFK assassination in April 1976?


Its too soon for 9/11. 50 years later we know Oswald did not shoot JFK.

Pats will win SB 50.
2014-02-03 06:27:46 AM  
1 vote:
...were there this many conspiracy nuts on the JFK assassination in April 1976?
2014-02-03 06:01:23 AM  
1 vote:
Nothing to see here. Move along.
i.imgur.com


/Job Creator.
2014-02-03 05:07:36 AM  
1 vote:
The look on his face is priceless.

"Is this cracker serious"

I wish he would have knocked his teeth into next century.
2014-02-03 04:17:25 AM  
1 vote:

Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?


What the f*ck is the internet?
2014-02-03 02:27:36 AM  
1 vote:
Indeed.
2014-02-03 01:21:22 AM  
1 vote:

Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?


Well, if anyone follows the link there about Pete Carroll and reads that too while they're at it, I reckon it will lead to Pete Carroll being ridiculed on the internet also.
2014-02-03 01:07:31 AM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: IAmRight: mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.

GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T

SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS A RULE???


LET'S ALL WRITE COMPLAINTS TO THE MODS IN AN ANGRY FASHION!
2014-02-03 01:01:29 AM  
1 vote:

IAmRight: mr_a: OTOH, I think that was the only guy to beat Smith all night.

GODDDAMMIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE GREEN TO FUNNY THIS SH*T


SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS A RULE???
2014-02-03 12:39:21 AM  
1 vote:

Professor Farksworth: My question is, does he think that will actually lead to anything but him being ridiculed by the internet?


He doesn't care.  He got his message out and that's the only important thing.
2014-02-03 12:36:37 AM  
1 vote:
The football player gets patatoed by a Troofer.
2014-02-03 12:12:05 AM  
1 vote:
Better yet, how does dude manage to just walk away after that?
 
Displayed 66 of 66 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report