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(Des Moines Register)   The woman who ate 363 wings in 30 minutes on Friday wrapped up her weekend by eating 59 pancakes in twenty minutes, then she won her second consecutive bacon-eating contest, followed by eating a five-pound sandwich in under five minutes   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) divider line 133
    More: Followup, Adam Emmenecker, eating contest, Urbandale, Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival, sandwiches  
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12910 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2014 at 8:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-02-02 05:49:55 PM  
I want to propose....I'm in love
 
2014-02-02 05:58:36 PM  
Damn.  She just won $22,000 for winning the Wing Bowl on Friday.  Not a bad for 30 minutes of eating.
 
2014-02-02 06:06:49 PM  
That's an impressive sandwich.

notrealfood.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-02-02 06:56:34 PM  
i can't afford no biatch that eats like that. sheeeet
 
2014-02-02 07:08:14 PM  
"I tried to swallow most of it all," said Schuyler, 33, of Bellevue, Neb. "If it's soft you can just swallow it."

Chewing is for suckers!
 
2014-02-02 07:14:53 PM  
All competitive gluttons deserve death.
 
2014-02-02 07:14:55 PM  
Clicked expecting she'd look like the ugly hippo who spawned Honey Boo-Boo, but she doesn't appear to be terribly overweight, if at all.
 
2014-02-02 07:23:15 PM  
I'm always expecting these competitive food vacuums to be complete cows, but they never are. She does not moo.
 
2014-02-02 08:20:31 PM  
I wonder how long she spends on the toilet?
 
2014-02-02 08:22:44 PM  

fusillade762: I wonder how long she spends on the toilet?


I heard that she beefs. Massive, forearm size logs that she heels into the drain.
 
2014-02-02 08:23:04 PM  
where the hell does she put it????
 
2014-02-02 08:23:42 PM  
Good god.
 
2014-02-02 08:24:05 PM  
Huh huh huh...
Jabba no bargain!
 
2014-02-02 08:25:33 PM  

Calmamity: All competitive gluttons deserve death.


butthurt etc

That said, it says something when a place has competitive eating competitions while other nations starve.

And that saying is

www.savethegeek.es
 
2014-02-02 08:27:41 PM  
I would hate to grocery shop for that Broad.
 
2014-02-02 08:28:32 PM  
In b4 what's her fark handle?
 
2014-02-02 08:30:14 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: That's an impressive sandwich.

[notrealfood.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]


That is oh. wow what is that?
 
2014-02-02 08:32:34 PM  

fusillade762: "I tried to swallow most of it all," said Schuyler, 33, of Bellevue, Neb. "If it's soft you can just swallow it."

Chewing is for suckers!


Ya hear guys she sounds like a keeper.
 
2014-02-02 08:36:32 PM  
the important thing is she brought these titles back from skinny japanese dudes
/murka
 
2014-02-02 08:36:39 PM  
Fromt TFA: Chants of "MOLLY" and "USA" rang through the restaurant causing Schuyler to laugh and slow down at times.

This is gross and embarrassing.
 
2014-02-02 08:36:46 PM  
From TFA: Chants of "MOLLY" and "USA" rang through the restaurant causing Schuyler to laugh and slow down at times.

This is gross and embarrassing.
 
2014-02-02 08:37:36 PM  
Schuyler

That's pronounced "shoe-ler" right?

Either way, I bet this chick absolutely wrecks some toilets. It's like Lethal Weapon 2, she's gotta dive in the tub with a flack jacket on when she's done shiatting.
 
2014-02-02 08:37:47 PM  

violentsalvation: I'm always expecting these competitive food vacuums to be complete cows, but they never are. She does not moo.


If you are too fat it gets in the way of stomach expansion.
 
2014-02-02 08:38:00 PM  

ambassador_ahab: I want to propose....I'm in love


Did she maim you off the coast of Japan or something?

/You're supposed to kill her for revenge, not fark her, Captain.
//DNRTFA.
 
2014-02-02 08:38:11 PM  

Tylak: Fromt TFA: Chants of "MOLLY" and "USA" rang through the restaurant causing Schuyler to laugh and slow down at times.

This is gross and embarrassing.


You take it a lot more seriously than the people chanting it probably did.
 
2014-02-02 08:39:02 PM  
I hate to be the guy who farks up everyone's wet dream, but if she keeps this up, she is going to die: not fat and die, just die. Doctors, back me up.
 
2014-02-02 08:40:38 PM  

OneNightStand: I hate to be the guy who farks up everyone's wet dream, but if she keeps this up, she is going to die: not fat and die, just die. Doctors, back me up.


You seem to confuse "entertainment" with "value".

Her only value to us is entertainment.
 
2014-02-02 08:41:19 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-02 08:41:43 PM  

cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com


If you like watching me eat, you should see it when I purge.......

 
2014-02-02 08:41:50 PM  
USA!
 
2014-02-02 08:42:58 PM  
They were looking for e
 
2014-02-02 08:43:34 PM  
Is she the one that ate the 72 oz steak in 3 minutes?
 
2014-02-02 08:52:51 PM  

Delta1212: Is she the one that ate the 72 oz steak in 3 minutes?


How do you even poop that out?

Do you?

Is that how a heart-attack happens?
 
2014-02-02 08:53:27 PM  
The rest of the week.

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-02 08:55:07 PM  
I believe it. Pain of childbirth probably makes competitive eating look like....like....uh...child's play?

I need a thesaurus.
 
2014-02-02 08:58:11 PM  
She is like a human Tardis,
 
2014-02-02 09:03:05 PM  

some_beer_drinker: i can't afford no biatch that eats like that. sheeeet


I couldn't afford the toilet paper for when she needs to go sheeeet!! Or, withstand the stench!

/bet her toilet is designed something like that double-Jeep linked in videos!
 
2014-02-02 09:04:27 PM  

OneNightStand: I hate to be the guy who farks up everyone's wet dream, but if she keeps this up, she is going to die: not fat and die, just die. Doctors, back me up.


I'm not a doctor, but I can say with certainty that she will die.  So will you, and so will everyone reading this.  Even people who don't read this will die.
 
2014-02-02 09:04:44 PM  
i1211.photobucket.com

DO WANT. I'd rather polish off one made of 5lb of pulled pork and bacon, though.
 
2014-02-02 09:09:46 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-02-02 09:11:40 PM  
My two preteen boys couldn't eat that much.
 
2014-02-02 09:13:45 PM  
I'm partial to Sonya Thomas.
i.telegraph.co.uk

She's actually kinda cute.
news.bbcimg.co.uk
 
2014-02-02 09:14:34 PM  
Wow, eating and pooping. That's quite the accomplishment.

/ If you're newborn
 
2014-02-02 09:15:23 PM  

wildlifer: My two preteen boys couldn't eat that much.


Give them a few years. By the time they hit fourteen, you'll be refilling the refrigerator three times a week.
 
2014-02-02 09:18:32 PM  
She sounds fat.

/dnrta
 
2014-02-02 09:19:05 PM  

Delta1212: Is she the one that ate the 72 oz steak in 3 minutes?


Yep
 
2014-02-02 09:19:35 PM  

buuurp

 
2014-02-02 09:23:52 PM  

whosits_112: fusillade762: I wonder how long she spends on the toilet?

I heard that she beefs. Massive, forearm size logs that she heels into the drain.


I thought of that about 5 minutes after I posted.
 
2014-02-02 09:26:00 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: fusillade762: "I tried to swallow most of it all," said Schuyler, 33, of Bellevue, Neb. "If it's soft you can just swallow it."

Chewing is for suckers!

Ya hear guys she sounds like a keeper.


Yeah, but as she said that only works when it's soft.
 
2014-02-02 09:30:14 PM  
And she'll finish up February with a:

img.fark.net
 
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