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(Huffington Post)   "Professional cuddler" charges $80 dollars an hour to spoon with you. No word on how much she charges to fork   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 92
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8024 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2014 at 10:54 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-02 08:15:53 AM
FTA:  "-- emotional generosity that isn't concerned with getting anything in return...."

Wait... I thought she was getting paid....
 
2014-02-02 08:17:26 AM
If you wind up sleeping with your professional cuddler, is that sporking?
 
2014-02-02 08:26:06 AM
Or you could get a dog.
 
2014-02-02 08:30:03 AM

EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.


Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.
 
2014-02-02 08:31:39 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.

Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.


I guess it depends on how much cuddling you want. A dog doesn't set a timer when he lies down with you.
 
2014-02-02 08:41:43 AM

EvilEgg: AverageAmericanGuy: EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.

Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.

I guess it depends on how much cuddling you want. A dog doesn't set a timer when he lies down with you.


However, people do frown on your relationship with your dog if you want to be in your lab. So there is that.
 
2014-02-02 09:38:29 AM

hardinparamedic: EvilEgg: AverageAmericanGuy: EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.

Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.

I guess it depends on how much cuddling you want. A dog doesn't set a timer when he lies down with you.

However, people do frown on your relationship with your dog if you want to be in your lab. So there is that.


if you don't wanna love me I got animals to love me 
my fuzzy brothers, four legged lovers 
if you don't wanna love me I got kittens I got puppies 
under the covers
 
2014-02-02 10:56:05 AM
Good headline, subby
 
2014-02-02 10:57:38 AM
th06.deviantart.net
 
2014-02-02 10:57:48 AM
Draft em out of high school straight into the pros?

/got nuthin
 
2014-02-02 10:57:52 AM

hardinparamedic: EvilEgg: AverageAmericanGuy: EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.

Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.

I guess it depends on how much cuddling you want. A dog doesn't set a timer when he lies down with you.

However, people do frown on your relationship with your dog if you want to be in your lab. So there is that.


Yea, that'd be ruff
 
2014-02-02 10:58:06 AM
www.learnersdictionary.com
 
2014-02-02 10:58:12 AM
Eighty dollars dollars - that's quite a lot.

/seriously, stop saying "$80 dollars", it's redundant
//i'm fighting another losing battle, aren't i
 
2014-02-02 10:59:30 AM
I can't think of anyhing more uncomfortable than trying not to get a boner whilst in the spoon position.
 
2014-02-02 10:59:53 AM
Ya.
The non sexual part would last about 5 seconds.
 
2014-02-02 11:00:34 AM
Haven't needed this for a while.

img.fark.net
 
2014-02-02 11:00:39 AM
Sounds very awkward.
 
2014-02-02 11:01:29 AM
lh3.ggpht.com
 
2014-02-02 11:05:10 AM
FTH:"Professional cuddler" charges $80 dollars an hour to spoon with you. No word on how much she charges to fork

upload.wikimedia.org

Good jorb, submittard.
 
2014-02-02 11:05:38 AM
Once these people find out about anime sex pillows, her business is ruined.
 
2014-02-02 11:06:34 AM
How many times will this get greened? Has to be the third or fourth time already.
 
2014-02-02 11:08:43 AM
I read that as "cruddler".  Funniest part of that name was realizing that the horse would have been named Misty if they swapped names.
 
2014-02-02 11:12:57 AM

images.wikia.comhardinparamedic: EvilEgg: AverageAmericanGuy: EvilEgg: Or you could get a dog.

Over the lifetime of the commitment, it seems like a dog would end up costing you a lot more.

I guess it depends on how much cuddling you want. A dog doesn't set a timer when he lies down with you.

However, people do frown on your relationship with your dog if you want to be in your lab. So there is that.

 
2014-02-02 11:13:04 AM
www.thethirdcity.org

Okay, folks. I've wound the wire around Leo Buscaglia, and I'm ready to throw the switch and power New York City.
 
2014-02-02 11:13:15 AM
This seems like the type of thing a guy could make a ton of money charging women for.
 
2014-02-02 11:14:17 AM
"I'll often lightly stroke your hair/neck/face which many of my clients find extremely relaxing."

i.imgur.com

Approves.
 
2014-02-02 11:23:11 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-02-02 11:24:25 AM
She is definitely a prostitute, by definition. And many prostitutes cuddle, kiss, and hang out in bed, before during, and after intimacy. 10 minutes sex, 50 minutes all the other oxytocin-inducing stuff. Nothing shocking here about any of it, move along.
 
2014-02-02 11:26:50 AM
You might think it's cute, but then you see her for what she really is.

global3.memecdn.com
 
2014-02-02 11:27:26 AM
i58.tinypic.com

"Just the tip?"
i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-02-02 11:34:07 AM

Literally Addicted: Good headline, subby


Golf clap, indeed.
 
2014-02-02 11:37:36 AM
Is groping and feeling included?
 
2014-02-02 11:41:23 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: "Just the tip?"


I'd say the look on the girls face and his grip on her shoulder says exactly where he put the tip.
 
2014-02-02 11:42:15 AM
This is why sexbots are needed NOW!  Sciencers, drop all this "cure cancer" and "Higgs particle" bullshiat and get to work!
 
2014-02-02 11:45:39 AM
They're just trying to lull you into a false sense of security then-BAM!

She has pushed play on Dances With Wolves and you feel obligated to watch it with her, but you really just wanted to fark and then go grab some pizza and get on with your day.
 
2014-02-02 11:51:01 AM
I thought New York was a hip trend setting city?
 
2014-02-02 12:01:14 PM
World's worst hooker:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-02 12:01:56 PM
Cuddling is one of those things I can get into it with a woman I have an emotional connection with and am in a relationship with, but I wouldnt pay for it with a stranger the way youd pay a prostitute for sex.
 
2014-02-02 12:03:58 PM

Russ1642: How many times will this get greened? Has to be the third or fourth time already.


Welcome to Fark!   And also, welcome to Fark!
 
2014-02-02 12:04:28 PM
For 80 bucks I'd want more than snuggling.
 
2014-02-02 12:06:21 PM

Oldiron_79: Cuddling is one of those things I can get into it with a woman I have an emotional connection with and am in a relationship with, but I wouldnt pay for it with a stranger the way youd pay a prostitute for sex.


Dad?
 
2014-02-02 12:18:37 PM

LeGnome: For 80 bucks I'd want more than snuggling.


You a cop?

You gotta tell me if you're a cop or it's entrapment.
 
2014-02-02 12:21:37 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Oldiron_79: Cuddling is one of those things I can get into it with a woman I have an emotional connection with and am in a relationship with, but I wouldnt pay for it with a stranger the way youd pay a prostitute for sex.

Dad?


Not that I KNOW of.
 
2014-02-02 12:23:32 PM
Headline of the year so far
 
2014-02-02 12:24:25 PM

Russ1642: How many times will this get greened? Has to be the third or fourth time already.


No, it's only been greened today, Feb 2, Groundhogs Day.

.......
 
2014-02-02 12:29:15 PM

JerseyTim: If you wind up sleeping with your professional cuddler, is that sporking?


So how many people who would claim there is nothing sexual about cuddling would cuddle with the wrong gender for you to fark?
 
2014-02-02 12:30:26 PM
What if I pop a boner?
 
2014-02-02 12:30:38 PM
FTFA: "There are also a number of special packages -- like the $200 movie and cuddle package or the $500 "overnight cuddle" package -- to choose from."

Uh, okay.  The $500 overnight cuddle package better provide a bottle of lotion, some tissues, and a porn movie starring an actress that bears a close resemblance to the professional cuddler loaded on a laptop, to be used discreetly by the client.
 
2014-02-02 12:31:08 PM

Oldiron_79: JerseyTim: If you wind up sleeping with your professional cuddler, is that sporking?

So how many people who would claim there is nothing sexual about cuddling would cuddle with the wrong gender for you to fark?


Huh?
 
2014-02-02 12:36:42 PM

zimbomba63: Oldiron_79: JerseyTim: If you wind up sleeping with your professional cuddler, is that sporking?

So how many people who would claim there is nothing sexual about cuddling would cuddle with the wrong gender for you to fark?

Huh?


Im trying to start a Vince and Jules Foot massage style discussion here.
 
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