If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salon)   Mother nearly falls into a fit of apoplexy and is forced to confront her irrational fear of the color pink when her daughter asks for a pink pair or "sparkly princess tennis shoes." Because FEMINISM   (salon.com) divider line 333
    More: Ironic, phobias, Disney Princess  
•       •       •

8909 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2014 at 8:14 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



333 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-02 08:48:55 AM  
One of my oldest friends is an executive at Fox* and the breadwinner in her family. Her husband is a public school teacher and musician. They have a very successful marriage, and had the careers been reversed, no one would bat an eye.

They are happily raising two sparkly pink daughters. I think the role model they see in their own family will more than make up for the fact that the girls love princesses and rainbows.

Feminism isn't about women fitting a single narrow niche. It's about women having the right to do anything they want.

*yes, I know.
 
2014-02-02 08:52:23 AM  

hardinparamedic: Slartibreakfast: "Mansplaining"... 90% of the time it is used as a feminists way of telling men to sit down, shut up, and learn their place.

You sound incensed that someone would tell you to STFU when talking about something you're blatantly wrong about or trying to spin.


Wow, i must have really struck a nerve to get you so riled up princess.
 
2014-02-02 08:53:17 AM  

willfullyobscure: What i want to know is why this mother is so obviously transphobic and hateful to her proud queer toddler

It's OBVIOUS that her 3 year old daughter is gender self identified as female, and needs to be supported as a FtF transition candidate.  I would even go so far as to say that the child should start hormone replacement therapy so as not to miss the critical window to be able to look as girly as possible despite her bad luck to be born as the wrong sex.


Without the support this little GIRL(yes really, you can call someone like this by the gender they choose) needs, she could die. What do you cis people even know about these issues.


notsureifserious.jpg
 
2014-02-02 08:54:29 AM  
I'm glad she's at least self- aware enough to recognize her own conflict. Nothing wrong with that.
 
2014-02-02 08:55:10 AM  
Dafuq did I just skim?
 
2014-02-02 08:56:27 AM  

Slartibreakfast: hardinparamedic: Slartibreakfast: "Mansplaining"... 90% of the time it is used as a feminists way of telling men to sit down, shut up, and learn their place.

You sound incensed that someone would tell you to STFU when talking about something you're blatantly wrong about or trying to spin.

Wow, i must have really struck a nerve to get you so riled up princess.


Why do I have to be "riled up"? Why can't I just rationally point out that your comment makes no sense in the grand scheme of the conversation without taking into account an ulterior motive or agenda?

Seriously, don't be number 2 on the Saddest Internet Argument Techniques.
 
2014-02-02 08:57:00 AM  

Lsherm: Another uncomfortable thought occurs to me. If I had a little boy who wanted to wear dresses, or only wear pink, I would make sure I nurtured that.

Yup, another open-minded feminist.  She'd probably yell at you in the store if you told your boy he couldn't wear a dress, too.


Maybe you should have read the whole thing. It ended with her acknowledging her own bias, deciding not to push that on her daughter. She bought her the shoes and seemed glad she did in the end.
 
2014-02-02 08:57:24 AM  

BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.


Lsherm: Another uncomfortable thought occurs to me. If I had a little boy who wanted to wear dresses, or only wear pink, I would make sure I nurtured that.

Yup, another open-minded feminist.  She'd probably yell at you in the store if you told your boy he couldn't wear a dress, too.


Didn't actually read the article, did you two?

/show us on the doll where the feminist touched you.
 
2014-02-02 08:57:49 AM  

pxlboy: willfullyobscure: What i want to know is why this mother is so obviously transphobic and hateful to her proud queer toddler

It's OBVIOUS that her 3 year old daughter is gender self identified as female, and needs to be supported as a FtF transition candidate.  I would even go so far as to say that the child should start hormone replacement therapy so as not to miss the critical window to be able to look as girly as possible despite her bad luck to be born as the wrong sex.


Without the support this little GIRL(yes really, you can call someone like this by the gender they choose) needs, she could die. What do you cis people even know about these issues.

notsureifserious.jpg


His handle is willfully obscure.  Some of the more amusing satire I've read recently.  Nicely done.
 
2014-02-02 08:57:59 AM  
www.thetruthaboutguns.com

FWIW, my wife hates the idea of pink guns... I often suggest that she buy one, just to see her reaction.
 
2014-02-02 08:58:52 AM  

pxlboy: notsureifserious.jpg


If you think he's serious, I have a bridge in the Sahara to sell you... cash up front, though.
 
2014-02-02 08:59:33 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: Dafuq did I just skim?


Nothing terribly deep.

Seems to have hit a nerve in some Internet Tough Guys, though.
 
2014-02-02 08:59:43 AM  
Going to brainwash my newborn daughter that light purple is better than pink. Don't mind pink, but lavender is in fact better.
 
2014-02-02 08:59:45 AM  

Warlordtrooper: BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.

Feminism might be about a lot of things but true equality is not one of them


Your post may be about a lot of things, but understanding anything in the article is not one of them.
 
2014-02-02 09:00:01 AM  

hardinparamedic: You mean the inequality in family court situations which MRAs tend to wank about as the reason they're general pigs to women?


The only really serious scenario for men's rights activists I can think of involves allegations of sexual contact with children.

Male child with female teacher, telling the truth= "Good job, slugger"
Male child with female teacher, lying = "Eh, she's innocent. Boys will be boys, but he needs a talking to"

Female child with male teacher, telling the truth = "Hang him high"
Female child with male teacher, lying = "Hang him high, just to be safe"

There IS a disproportionate burden for proof of innocence on men involved with care of children. And some of the more vindictive children learn that they can bully a male adult with threats of "he touched me". I've worked with children in previous jobs (and loved it), but I will admit to coming to a rational conclusion: if the threat of child molesting is real, it's better to murder the kid. Even if proven guilty, you can be a reformed murderer. And secondly, they'd perform an autopsy on the body and find claims of sexual contact are false. Small comfort, but it still beats being labeled "accused sex offender".
 
2014-02-02 09:00:15 AM  
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2014-02-02 09:01:02 AM  

hardinparamedic: pxlboy: notsureifserious.jpg

If you think he's serious, I have a bridge in the Sahara to sell you... cash up front, though.


It was like a stealth Onion posting. It seemed be to be too laden with buzzwords to be real.

I thought it was a good parody. I've seen posts like that on Tumblr written without a hint of irony.
 
2014-02-02 09:01:09 AM  

Nabb1: Two points: At least she has the awareness to self reflect on her feelings and opinions; and she nought her daughter those shoes. She's still a fairly judgmental person. My wife, a successful physician, mother and big fan of Disney Princesses would probably tell her to lighten up. You can let your daughters be themselves and still instill confidence in them.


Agreed.

Her heart is definitely in the right place and she's self aware enough to know when she's pushing her own shiat on her kids. I don't think people should be coming down hard on her, because really what harm did she do? Admit that she was wrong about pinning her hang-ups on her kid?

Really, I wish more people in general would reflect on this. I see an awful lot of bad parenting going on mostly related to people putting their own fears and failures on their children.

The motto I have is simple: Teach the kids the game, let them decide how they want to play it.
 
2014-02-02 09:01:13 AM  
This type of woman makes us feminists look bad. Anyone can wear pink. It's a cute color. Sparkles are pretty. Deal.
 
2014-02-02 09:01:38 AM  
This is the sort of thing that would raise the hair on my ex's neck; not so much an outrage but "worth examining".
 
2014-02-02 09:02:45 AM  

hardinparamedic: Slartibreakfast: hardinparamedic: Slartibreakfast: "Mansplaining"... 90% of the time it is used as a feminists way of telling men to sit down, shut up, and learn their place.

You sound incensed that someone would tell you to STFU when talking about something you're blatantly wrong about or trying to spin.

Wow, i must have really struck a nerve to get you so riled up princess.

Why do I have to be "riled up"? Why can't I just rationally point out that your comment makes no sense in the grand scheme of the conversation without taking into account an ulterior motive or agenda?

Seriously, don't be number 2 on the Saddest Internet Argument Techniques.


First of all, i never gave my opinion on the article, just pointed out that some feminists love to always act like victims, doesn't matter if it's real or imagined.

Second, oh fark OFF... there is no rational debate with coonts like you.
 
2014-02-02 09:03:39 AM  

Warlordtrooper: ghare: Warlordtrooper: BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.

Feminism might be about a lot of things but true equality is not one of them

Thanks for mansplaining that.

How many feminists do you know that will argue for equality of men in cases where females have an advantage over males?


About half of the women I know who consider themselves feminist would, when confronted with those extremely rare circumstances.

Just for everyone's amusement, why don't you give us some examples of places were you think women have advantages over men.
 
2014-02-02 09:03:55 AM  
In lieu of making fun of this woman, I'll have a go at giving a serious answer:

The problem with heteronormativity, submission to the husband, houswifing as a career, etc has nothing to do with the things themselves, the problem was always that they were the  only option for half the population.  They're still all completely legitimate as choices, and if your girl wants to grow up to be a wilting flower whose primary goal is to be rescued by a handsome guy, you should consider buggering off and letting her instead of being the stereotypical mean and demanding parent that tries to force their kids to re-live their own life from a '90s movie.

OK, yeah, I couldn't go a full paragraph without making fun of her.  Sorry, it's Salon, I don't think they have a single writer that's better than two standard deviations down from the median IQ.
 
2014-02-02 09:04:22 AM  

Zasteva: Warlordtrooper: ghare: Warlordtrooper: BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.

Feminism might be about a lot of things but true equality is not one of them

Thanks for mansplaining that.

How many feminists do you know that will argue for equality of men in cases where females have an advantage over males?

About half of the women I know who consider themselves feminist would, when confronted with those extremely rare circumstances.

Just for everyone's amusement, why don't you give us some examples of places were you think women have advantages over men.


Getting out of traffic violations?
 
2014-02-02 09:04:56 AM  

BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.


That sums up modern feminism for the most part
 
2014-02-02 09:05:34 AM  

pxlboy: I've seen posts like that on Tumblr written without a hint of irony.


Tumblr is a wretched hive of sum, villainy, PC ridiculousness, and ACTUAL RadFem.

Hell. Even I make fun of those people, and I'm pretty into feminism and social justice causes.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The only really serious scenario for men's rights activists I can think of involves allegations of sexual contact with children.


That's the thing. There is no serious scenario for MRA. They really don't care about men's rights as a whole - they legitimately refer to any male who does not share their views as "traitors to their gender", akin to the whole "Traitor to their race" thing that is so popular in white supremacy. They just latch on to certain issues of judicial and social reform, such as the area you just mentioned, or false rape allegations, or family court reform issues, and like a parasite or a creationist wedge theory use it to promote their idea that treating women sub-human and like a pig is justified because of X and Y.
 
2014-02-02 09:06:57 AM  

hardinparamedic: Oh good, another strawman RadFem that everyone can use to claim represents the actual philosophy of Feminism


Wait, how is it a straw feminist argument when an actual feminist wrote the article?
 
2014-02-02 09:07:03 AM  

Slartibreakfast: First of all, i never gave my opinion on the article, just pointed out that some feminists love to always act like victims, doesn't matter if it's real or imagined.

Second, oh fark OFF... there is no rational debate with coonts like you.


Because when I want rational debate about feminism, I refer to someone as a coont.

And that would be dick, if you want to be anatomically correct, sir. ^_^
 
2014-02-02 09:08:13 AM  
this lady is kind of the exact opposite of what "open-mindedness" even means
 
2014-02-02 09:08:33 AM  

hardinparamedic: pxlboy: I've seen posts like that on Tumblr written without a hint of irony.

Tumblr is a wretched hive of sum, villainy, PC ridiculousness, and ACTUAL RadFem.

Hell. Even I make fun of those people, and I'm pretty into feminism and social justice causes.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The only really serious scenario for men's rights activists I can think of involves allegations of sexual contact with children.

That's the thing. There is no serious scenario for MRA. They really don't care about men's rights as a whole - they legitimately refer to any male who does not share their views as "traitors to their gender", akin to the whole "Traitor to their race" thing that is so popular in white supremacy. They just latch on to certain issues of judicial and social reform, such as the area you just mentioned, or false rape allegations, or family court reform issues, and like a parasite or a creationist wedge theory use it to promote their idea that treating women sub-human and like a pig is justified because of X and Y.


The only person on my blog is an old friend of mine, her posts are full of the aforementioned. I go for the humor and art blogs.
 
2014-02-02 09:08:34 AM  

memebot_of_doom: Wait, how is it a straw feminist argument when an actual feminist wrote the article?


The actual article was self-introspection about her own prejudices and gender biases.

The straw comes into play at how several posters with poor reading comprehension have demonstrated their biases in this thread.
 
2014-02-02 09:08:39 AM  
I'm pregnant with my 2nd child at the moment, first daughter, and I've been thinking a lot about the whole princess thing.

I farking HATE "princess culture", always have, even when I was a kid, and I absolutely will not encourage it with my little girl when she is very young. However, once she reaches an age where she's more influenced by her peers, if she wants to watch princess movies and play with princess things I won't forbid it and won't make her feel bad for liking these things (while still encouraging her to have other interests, of course).

I'll probably try to steer her more towards the more competent princesses though. Like Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. She smart, gets shiat done and doesn't take crap from anyone. If more princesses were written like her I'd have a lot fewer issues with the whole genre.

And man, pink is almost impossible to avoid! I'm aiming for a less than 25% concentration for her wardrobe at the moment but I'm not sure how I'll fare.
 
2014-02-02 09:08:52 AM  
I'll say this... I actually enjoy being the cool indestructable uncle. I have Disney Princesses hanging on my boots, and hardy lads trying to punch the living shiat out of me. And yet I take my neices and nephews in stride.

How messed up is that as a measure of love?
 
2014-02-02 09:09:18 AM  
My three-year-old daughter is also way into Disney princesses. It would probably bother me more if she weren't also into robots and watching footage of Apollo missions from launch to lunar EVA.
 
2014-02-02 09:10:24 AM  

pxlboy: The only person on my blog is an old friend of mine, her posts are full of the aforementioned. I go for the humor and art blogs.


I deleted my tumblr after a post about another user which used the word "attention whore" got me several multi-paragraph, angry replies about "slut shaming".

The person in question was using a non-existent illness (Chronic Lyme Disease) to beg for money.
 
2014-02-02 09:10:29 AM  

Witty Comment: While not always the case, it seems to me that children wearing ridiculous clothing is the result of a parent being lazy and not wanting to deal with a tantrum. Yes, allowing children to make choices for themselves and self-identify is definitely necessary to raising a successful well adjusted adult. You also have to teach them to make the right choices. Sweaters and winter clothes in summer is not one of them, and it's your duty to explain *why*. Not because "people will look at you funny" or "people will judge you based on appearances", even though they will and that in itself can be cause of limits in life (news flash: appearances and how you present yourself matters!), but because "you'll get dehydrated if you try and play soccer in a parka. Now get in short sleeves and a t-shirt before I jump down your throat and stomp on your damn liver, asshole. You make daddy want to drink."


This.

My kids were given the privilege of choosing their attire, but they knew I had final say. They could always operate within the guidelines I set out for them. It's amazing how creative kids can get with outside-the-box thinking of how to operate inside the lines and get the most for their efforts.

Encourage that, TFA twat, celebrate that.
 
2014-02-02 09:11:01 AM  

Yogimus: Feminism is a shield weak willed women use to protect themselves against the world.


Your dadaist poetry is coming along nicely. Keep up the good work! You might try more repetitive syllables though, lest someone mistake it for having actual meaning.
 
2014-02-02 09:11:03 AM  

maxheck: I'll say this... I actually enjoy being the cool indestructable uncle. I have Disney Princesses hanging on my boots, and hardy lads trying to punch the living shiat out of me. And yet I take my neices and nephews in stride.

How messed up is that as a measure of love?


Nieces and nephews are all the fun of having kids without all the responsibility.

I've got 6 of them and I try to be the cool or fun uncle.

Took the oldest to DragonCon a couple of years ago and he had a blast.
 
2014-02-02 09:11:12 AM  
Well that was a massive load of self-indulgent crap.
 
2014-02-02 09:11:53 AM  
You can be as feminist as you want but I'm still going to cut you slack on your crazy because you're a woman and I'm sexist.
 
2014-02-02 09:13:08 AM  

hardinparamedic: pxlboy: The only person on my blog is an old friend of mine, her posts are full of the aforementioned. I go for the humor and art blogs.

I deleted my tumblr after a post about another user which used the word "attention whore" got me several multi-paragraph, angry replies about "slut shaming".

The person in question was using a non-existent illness (Chronic Lyme Disease) to beg for money.


I'm not surprised. The poster to which I refer is similarly inclined towards PC posting, "privilege" posts, and stuff about chronic pain or illness (but does not specify which), and routinely makes excuses why she can't get healthy.

It's a slow-motion horror show.
 
2014-02-02 09:14:17 AM  

ghare: Thanks for mansplaining that.


Mansplaining is an offensive word, used to degrade anyone that doesn't agree with feminism or questions how it actually deals with equality. It is however quite useful for letting the world know that the person using it is radical with no interest in equality.
 
2014-02-02 09:15:18 AM  
huh I thought it was a well-written essay about dealing with the whole pink/princessy thing. She went back and bought her kid the shoes. Better than an airhead mom who does stupid things without thinking about them or trying to correct bad decision.

Reminds me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CU040Hqbas
 
2014-02-02 09:15:43 AM  

Warlordtrooper: ghare: Warlordtrooper: BizarreMan: Talk about a self-hating woman.

So she's okay with her son wearing dresses and pink (if she had one) but her daughter can't.

Feminism might be about a lot of things but true equality is not one of them

Thanks for mansplaining that.

How many feminists do you know that will argue for equality of men in cases where females have an advantage over males?


You have nothing to say of any value, boy. Go away, you bother me.
 
2014-02-02 09:15:56 AM  

hardinparamedic: That's the thing. There is no serious scenario for MRA. They really don't care about men's rights as a whole - they legitimately refer to any male who does not share their views as "traitors to their gender", akin to the whole "Traitor to their race" thing that is so popular in white supremacy. They just latch on to certain issues of judicial and social reform, such as the area you just mentioned, or false rape allegations, or family court reform issues, and like a parasite or a creationist wedge theory use it to promote their idea that treating women sub-human and like a pig is justified because of X and Y.


But you don't understand! Not being able to tell a dame she has nice gams is exactly the same as allegations of rape! Why don't their small, inferior minds grasp that?!?!

*adjusts fedora*

/It hurt to type that
 
2014-02-02 09:16:04 AM  

onyxruby: ghare: Thanks for mansplaining that.

Mansplaining is an offensive word, used to degrade anyone that doesn't agree with feminism or questions how it actually deals with equality. It is however quite useful for letting the world know that the person using it is radical with no interest in equality.


Now that. That is riled up. Wow!
 
2014-02-02 09:16:29 AM  
Just a little secret, ladies, the foot in the jackboot that keeps you down belongs to a woman.

Generally speaking, you are by far more oppressive to each other than men, in this modern society of ours.

You refuse to work for other women, you partake in slut shaming, you actively destroy each other socially, and god help any woman that refuses to conform to social norms. I refer to feminists as cows not just for their general appearance, but for the herd instinct. You don't breastfeed? OSTRICIZE! You don't WANT a career? OSTRICIZE!

This of course applies only to feminists, because normal women are real human beings deserving of respect. (Cue the outcries of projection where you tell me what my interpretation of a normal woman is)


/a normal woman is one that has a sense of self and self respect not dependant on others for a sense of worth
 
2014-02-02 09:16:46 AM  

Yogimus: Feminism is a shield weak willed women use to protect themselves against the world.


No. True feminism is about equality between the sexes. For the longest time women and men have been shaped by these damaging and restrictive ideas of what it means to be a man or woman.

Boys are suppose to only like blue, manly colors while playing with boy toys and then grow up to do manly jobs. Women meanwhile are suppose to only like pink, are only suppose to play with girl toys and grow up to do "woman's work".

True feminism is something that benefits both men and women, and even transgender people. Unfortunately so many people, women and men included misunderstand what feminism is. You are one of them.
 
2014-02-02 09:17:04 AM  

onyxruby: ghare: Thanks for mansplaining that.

Mansplaining is an offensive word, used to degrade anyone that doesn't agree with feminism or questions how it actually deals with equality. It is however quite useful for letting the world know that the person using it is radical with no interest in equality.


Ah, little boys and their problems.
 
2014-02-02 09:17:47 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: 1. They're just shoes.
2. You don't have to buy them.

Signed,
- a feminist


She didn't buy them.  The conflict wasn't just her views, but with her forcing them on her daughter in a manner that really isn't something to fight a child over.  Shoes only have to be able to do the job you are asking of them and be in the price range that you wish to spend, after that, I don't really care what my daughter picks.  My daughter likes dresses, and clothes in bright colors including pink with peace symbols, but I don't care for it.  I reduce the girlie-ness by introducing her to sports watching with me and boxing, not watching boxing, actually putting on gloves and swinging at me.  Anyways, the child will decide for themselves who they are and the parent is to love them and teach them to be safe.  It drives me crazy watching people push their own agendas and taste on children that just doesn't want to spend two hours brushing really long hair.

Signed
-someone who read the article.

/my daughter like pink camouflage
 
Displayed 50 of 333 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report