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(YouTube)   Longtime Farker has a featured role in a new web series as a poker playing pirate. "Don't quit your day job", lavish praise, outright mocking, or "How can I shower these indie filmmakers with money?" comments welcome. LGT episode one   (youtube.com) divider line 29
    More: Spiffy, web series  
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382 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 01 Feb 2014 at 4:25 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-02-01 04:51:55 PM
I'll try to stick to constructive criticism.  After 15 seconds, I had absolutely no idea what I was looking at.  After 55 seconds, I had the vague impression that some guy was angry at someone six inches to the right of whoever's POV the camera was imitating.  Were there two guys lying right next to each other? Why wouldn't you show the POV of the person being stabbed or whatever?
Don't fade to black for three seconds; it doesn't work.  Equilibrium tried that, and it was only in the theatres for two weeks. And that was with Christian Bale, who I assume you are not.
So I paused after those 55 seconds - now I guess I don't care what happens next because you already ruined the ending by showing someone, who I assume is the protagonist, being stabbed in the eye or something.  I couldn't quite tell because the noise sounded like the guy stabbed sand instead of someone's body.
 
2014-02-01 05:03:45 PM
digilander.libero.it
 
2014-02-01 05:14:10 PM
OK, I did watch the whole 8:32 and I'm still confused.  Why would someone who was winning all night risk his entire pot on a single random draw?  No real poker player would do that.  And the dude who pulled the card out of his sleeve - wasn't that the winning card?  How did he lose?  The captain who owned the ship - why would he let the bearded guy wager his ship?  And the captain's hat may have been symbolic of ownership of the ship, but just because green guy walks out of the room with a new hat, that proves he's the owner of the ship now?

You need tighter editing so that there aren't one-second gaps between people's conversation.  And you need a screenplay that makes sense to people who have no idea what's going on.  How did the green guy buy into an existing poker game?  Why were people showing their cards after green guy started raking in the pot?  It's like that was written by someone who's never actually played poker.
 
2014-02-01 05:56:37 PM
The cinematography and score are quite good. Acting is decent, but I'm also not sure what the storyline is and if there are any actual coherent rules to this "cutthroat" game they are playing. I agree with syrynxx that the editing could be a lot tighter.

And I'm also confused over how the guy with the silver face beat the obvious one-card cheat attempt from the bearded pirate leader guy. It appears to be taken from an existing pirate/fantasy book series, but it's still all a bit confusing.

But hey, pirates and hot girls in corsets, so they've got that going for them. And grog. Bring us more grog!
 
2014-02-01 09:20:20 PM
Is this where you guys explain 'Oblivion'? I still don't know what I watched
 
2014-02-01 11:21:53 PM
So which one is you?
 
2014-02-02 12:12:46 AM

maudibjr: So which one is you?


He's the one wearing the white shirt & full-on pirate hat.
 
2014-02-02 07:59:39 AM

syrynxx: OK, I did watch the whole 8:32 and I'm still confused.  Why would someone who was winning all night risk his entire pot on a single random draw?  No real poker player would do that.  And the dude who pulled the card out of his sleeve - wasn't that the winning card?  How did he lose?  The captain who owned the ship - why would he let the bearded guy wager his ship?  And the captain's hat may have been symbolic of ownership of the ship, but just because green guy walks out of the room with a new hat, that proves he's the owner of the ship now?



This web series will be a little more complicated than the Dungeons and Dragons movie. :) All the questions you ask will be answered.Maybe we left the viewers a tad more foggy about what is going on in episode one, but we wanted to make sure we didn't give any away the answers.Our hope would be that viewers would watch episode two to see if any of the answers you have are cleared up and things become less foggy.Maybe not, but with all my work, both film and books...and Fark post, they are not for everyone.I can't wait to hear what you think of episode two.
 
2014-02-02 12:46:20 PM

authorrockyperry: Maybe we left the viewers a tad more foggy about what is going on in episode one, but we wanted to make sure we didn't give any away the answers.Our hope would be that viewers would watch episode two to see if any of the answers you have are cleared up and things become less foggy.


Tip: If episode one's annoyance factor is high, you won't have a lot of viewers for episode two.
 
TKM
2014-02-02 01:16:56 PM
Three minutes of that "acting" was all my breakfast could take.
 
2014-02-02 01:45:51 PM

Bathia_Mapes: maudibjr: So which one is you?

He's the one wearing the white shirt & full-on pirate hat.


My apologies, but I was in error. It's the guy wearing the black shirt, red vest & leather hat.
 
2014-02-02 02:29:04 PM
Speaker2Animals: 

Tip: If episode one's annoyance factor is high, you won't have a lot of viewers for episode two.



I agree but

We have 34 likes and 1 dislike.  I would say our annoyance factor isn't very high.  I would also be the first to point out that everyone has their own opinions.  I try not to make statements for all viewers or posters or consumers of art.  If we please most of the people, we have done well.  If we pleased everyone, we would be gods.  Thanks for watching and thank for weighing in.

Tip: I bet you watch episode two
 
2014-02-02 04:32:10 PM
I always recommend watching this how-to on acting done by professional actors...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42WFxAtoM-g
 
2014-02-02 05:08:56 PM
BWAMMMM
 
2014-02-03 12:04:26 AM

authorrockyperry: All the questions you ask will be answered.Maybe we left the viewers a tad more foggy about what is going on in episode one, but we wanted to make sure we didn't give any away the answers.Our hope would be that viewers would watch episode two to see if any of the answers you have are cleared up and things become less foggy


Ah yes, the Damon Lindelof screenwriting technique.

There is a teensy, tiny problem however: Damon Lindelof is a farking hack.
 
2014-02-03 11:03:33 AM
Ishkur: 

Ah yes, the Damon Lindelof screenwriting technique.

There is a teensy, tiny problem however: Damon Lindelof is a farking hack.


I'm Lost?  jk.  I promise we don't drag the confustion out very long. You will find out what the island monster is before the third season.
 
2014-02-03 11:55:55 AM
authorrockyperry:

Welcome to you and best of luck, Longtime Farker
Account created:2014-02-01 18:29:25 (1 day ago)
 
2014-02-03 03:17:35 PM

jim32rr: Is this where you guys explain 'Oblivion'? I still don't know what I watched


This is the matrix, man.
 
2014-02-03 05:15:10 PM

authorrockyperry: I'm Lost? jk. I promise we don't drag the confustion out very long.


No, the problem is you put the confusion/mystery first and the plot second. You haven't yet given people time to care that there's mystery/confusion. If you don't do that, people go "I'm not interested in anything that's going on" and they tune out. I lasted about 50 seconds.

Now, admittedly the production quality is better than most web series, but the style and direction just screams "pretentious nonsense". Like you're trying to overcompensate for the lack of ideas with highly artistic and stylized direction and open-ended interpretation. That's not the best way to begin a story. Finish a story with open-ended interpretation, sure (although I personally abhor 'lady or the tiger' endings). But never start one.

Keep it simple. Introduce characters, plot, and action. Visualize emotion and purpose for flavor. Give the audience a reason to care, a character to root for, and a need to find out what happens next. And no, you don't do that by not explaining anything that's going on.
 
2014-02-03 05:25:22 PM
I watched the whole thing.  I agree mostly with what syrynxx said.   There were some interesting moments, but all in all I did not like it.  There wasn't enough info to make sense of what happened and why.

Furthermore, parts of the plot I thought I was following (stashing the ace to win later) were confounded when the cheater lost.  Were there sections of time that was missing to have those holes filled in later (aside from the intro).  Who was the guy who said he was Red Hook at the end and then by not being Red Hook he is now forced to find the other guy's ship?  How was that his fault?

Anyway, I sincerely wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out great.  I am a no for episode 2 however.  Pilots are hard, and I am an opinionated a-hole.
 
2014-02-03 07:23:07 PM

Ishkur: authorrockyperry: I'm Lost? jk. I promise we don't drag the confustion out very long.

No, the problem is you put the confusion/mystery first and the plot second. You haven't yet given people time to care that there's mystery/confusion. If you don't do that, people go "I'm not interested in anything that's going on" and they tune out. I lasted about 50 seconds.

Now, admittedly the production quality is better than most web series, but the style and direction just screams "pretentious nonsense". Like you're trying to overcompensate for the lack of ideas with highly artistic and stylized direction and open-ended interpretation. That's not the best way to begin a story. Finish a story with open-ended interpretation, sure (although I personally abhor 'lady or the tiger' endings). But never start one.

Keep it simple. Introduce characters, plot, and action. Visualize emotion and purpose for flavor. Give the audience a reason to care, a character to root for, and a need to find out what happens next. And no, you don't do that by not explaining anything that's going on.


At the risk of being pretentious, this web series might be over your head :) But to be serious, Our goal is to create a web series based on the book series of the same name.  Simple is just not in the cards.  Besides, simple is boring and easy.  We just dont mind if some people dont like it or cant figure out the series in the first 10 minute episode and that causes thm to stop watching.  We really are okay with that.  We are not out to please everyone.

This show is for thinkers and the curious.  If you can't handle being in the dark and asking questions that you might not get the answer to until the next epsiode, this show is not for you.  And that is just fine with us.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone!
 
2014-02-03 07:59:39 PM

authorrockyperry: At the risk of being pretentious, this web series might be over your head


Ah, yes, The 2deep4u defense. When you have no substance whatsoever. Have you ever considered that maybe it's just a banal story told very badly?

authorrockyperry: Our goal is to create a web series based on the book series


Never heard of it. If extra literature is required to get into this series, then you have completely lost your audience. Most people don't read the book even when it's a bestseller, what makes you think they're going to here?

authorrockyperry: simple is boring and easy.


It can be. It can also be sophisticated in the hands of a competent storyteller. Heart of Darkness is simple -- it's about a guy going up a river in a boat. THX-1138 is simple -- it's about a guy who doesn't like the way things are and runs away. 1984 is simple -- it's about a guy who gets arrested for thinking wrong. Bladerunner is simple -- it's about a guy who tracks down some criminal robots.

Anything is simple if boiled down into its essence. It's in the details that matters. Putting sequences out of order and in contexless flashbacks and montages with no connection isn't complex, it's just bad storytelling.

You aren't creative or unique. You are not going to invent any brand new storytelling tropes. Everything is just a rehash of what's gone on before with new window dressing, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

authorrockyperry: If you can't handle being in the dark and asking questions that you might not get the answer to until the next epsiode, this show is not for you.


That's just the problem: You're not doing that. What you're doing is the storytelling equivalent of dangling keys in front of a raccoon. You operate under the guise that being mysterious and sophisticated means "being in the dark", you think deliberately withholding information = suspense, and you're trying to lure people into non-linear tropes and a contextless plot with meaningless bredcrumb plot points. It's a con, it's a tease, and most people are farking sick of it, now that they've clued into Lindeloff's one-dimensional schtick.

Give me a reason to want to ask the questions in the first place, then I'll watch. If you can't do that, you have farking failed as a storyteller.
 
2014-02-03 08:23:15 PM

 Ishkur: Give me a reason to want to ask the questions in the first place, then I'll watch. If you can't do that, you have farking failed as a storyteller.



That is funny.  If YOU don't want to watch, I have failed as a storyteller.  Ego much?  I'll do you a solid.  I don't want you to watch.  Please don't.  I can see you are way too hard to please.  I am sure there are plenty of web series you would just love and say great thing about. :)  .

Again, thanks for checking it out.  Sorry it isn't your thing.  We are SO cool with that.
 
2014-02-04 09:45:32 AM
There's some very valuable, insightful feedback here.

Authorrockperry, I give you a lot of credit for taking this artistic plunge and hope you continue to develop your concept to achieve very high appeal.
 
2014-02-04 10:26:50 AM

unfarkingbelievable: There's some very valuable, insightful feedback here.

Authorrockperry, I give you a lot of credit for taking this artistic plunge and hope you continue to develop your concept to achieve very high appeal.


What does everyone consider "very high appeal"? Curious and not sure myself.
 
2014-02-04 11:36:28 AM

authorrockyperry: unfarkingbelievable: There's some very valuable, insightful feedback here.

Authorrockperry, I give you a lot of credit for taking this artistic plunge and hope you continue to develop your concept to achieve very high appeal.

What does everyone consider "very high appeal"? Curious and not sure myself.


I would think it is based on your goals, it's a bit subjective. Not everyone is into fantasy pirate stories. You have a limited population/market to begin with, but what percentage of that population do you want to reach?  How many people do you want to see your work?  Are you looking to make money?  How much? If your goal is 1000 views, then you're almost there!
 
2014-02-04 11:52:37 AM

authorrockyperry: unfarkingbelievable: There's some very valuable, insightful feedback here.

Authorrockperry, I give you a lot of credit for taking this artistic plunge and hope you continue to develop your concept to achieve very high appeal.

What does everyone consider "very high appeal"? Curious and not sure myself.


Hey, good question. I basically meant that I hope you achieve tremendous success with your artistic endeavors. I typed that before I had my coffee!  :)
 
2014-02-04 02:00:28 PM
Not to move away from the subject too much, but I tend to agree with both of you.  Very High Appeal seems to be as subjective as having success from very high appeal.

I guess, in truth, our goal was to create soethign interesting and new and original.  We never cared much how mny people liked it or how much money we made.  We just wanted to create it and have other think, you all did a great job creating a web series for next to nothing.  Andhave less people hate it than those that like it.
 
2014-02-04 03:37:25 PM

authorrockyperry: If YOU don't want to watch, I have failed as a storyteller.


I did watch. I watched and then turned it off because it wasn't a very good story.
 
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