Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AsiaOne)   For those feng shui-ing at home, this year you should avoid the Northwest sector of your house unless you have a bunch of copper and brass pans. And If you wish to avert heated argument and emotional upheavals, stay away from the Southeast sector   (business.asiaone.com) divider line 54
    More: Interesting, southeast, feng shui, Northwest, pans, copper, New Years  
•       •       •

1856 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2014 at 10:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-02-01 10:16:37 AM  
On a positive note, the NW corner is perfect for the still.

Where did you say the garden went?
 
2014-02-01 10:18:50 AM  
welp, gotta move the kitchen, again.
 
2014-02-01 10:24:18 AM  
"Schwing?"
 
2014-02-01 10:28:48 AM  
I'm relocating the wife and I into the east bedroom so I can take advantage of the #2 black star, if you know what I mean.

/I don't really know what I mean
 
2014-02-01 10:29:15 AM  
Well that does not leave a lot of options

rrvintagetrailers.com
 
2014-02-01 10:29:32 AM  
Do people actually believe in this stuff or is it just a novel way to organize all your crap in your house?
 
2014-02-01 10:37:45 AM  
I'm a believer and all, but I thought feng shui was just about keeping my chairs equidistant from the table that separates them and making sure the toilet is left down when not in use.

I didn't think I was signing on for abandoning parts of my house for an entire year.
 
2014-02-01 10:39:04 AM  

reveal101: Do people actually believe in this stuff or is it just a novel way to organize all your crap in your house?


Yes and yes.

Of course, people believe in all sorts of stupid crap, so...

Now that said, there are colors and geometry that provoke different emotional and psychological reactions, so it's not a waste of time to study this sort of thing, but adding a completely silly and superfluous spirituality or mysticism to things like this really derail any real value it may have to the general public.
 
2014-02-01 10:39:45 AM  

TomD9938: I didn't think I was signing on for abandoning parts of my house for an entire year.


Always read the fine print. You ARE storing your toothbrush in your sock drawer, right?
 
2014-02-01 10:39:48 AM  
What if I keep my copper pots in the southeast part of my dwelling?
 
2014-02-01 10:41:12 AM  

hasty ambush: Well that does not leave a lot of options

[rrvintagetrailers.com image 850x636]


Just park it 90 degrees different. This isn't rocket surgery!!!
 
2014-02-01 10:43:45 AM  

Goimir: What if I keep my copper pots in the southeast part of my dwelling?


farking heretic. Save an enclosed pantry in the southeast quadrant, the north wall is the only accepted placement*

*assumes you aren't coastal front
 
2014-02-01 10:45:10 AM  
There is only one piece of feng shui that is absolutely and universally correct, and men will know why.

That is you should never, ever, under any circumstances mount a mirror on the wall directly above a toilet.
 
2014-02-01 10:45:23 AM  
But the Midwest is still cool, right?
 
2014-02-01 10:48:39 AM  

Goimir: What if I keep my copper pots in the southeast part of my dwelling?


cdn.images.express.co.uk
 
2014-02-01 10:50:21 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-02-01 10:55:03 AM  

Walker: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]


img.fark.net

Looks like a thumb with a face drawn on.
 
2014-02-01 10:57:51 AM  
Gawd, there are real people who think in these terms. Back in the early 90s I was between shops and caught a framing gig with a friends crew for a few months. The second house I was on with these guys was a customer remodeling one of those old Sears Kit houses that were so popular before WW2, cause they were cheap. We pretty much did a total gut-out and reframe of the interior, put in strongback for the roof where the trusses were sagging, put in a huge perilam across the width of the house to eliminate the wall between the old living room and the kitchen area and put all new sheet in the floors. built a pair of three-sided bay windows in, on off the kitchen where the sink was going to go and a bigger one in the common area next to the fireplace. Got it all done. Ready for the electricians to come in.

Then the customer shows up with a "Feng Shui master".

She lays this flat disc on the floor that had a compass in the middle of it and symbols all around the edge. The house was oriented pretty much east to west, the long walls were facing north and south and the fireplace on the north wall in the common area. Street on the east side, and an alley on the west side where the garage was. So, this "Feng Shui Master" comes in lights some incense and does something with measurements on the floor and sets this disc down in an exact spot which took her about half an hour to find. Then she stares at it for about 15 minutes. She gets up, looks around at the kitchen area and then the doorway to where the bathroom was and the hallway to the bedrooms on the east and west side of the house on either side, one of which had been eliminated to open up the common area into a spot for a piano or some shiat. She walked back to the disc, and faced south toward this doorway and stared at it for another 10 minutes or so. Then she and the customer had some sort of consultation while we were standing around on the back porch. Maybe half an hour later, the customer comes back and tells my boss that the doorway that accessed the old original hallway to the bathroom and the one remaining bedroom wasn't wide enough, and had to be shifted something like 7 inches to the west and we had to frame in a little window to the east side of it.

It wasn't really a big deal to make the changes, but we spent the last couple of weeks on that job rolling our eyes and snickering about it.

Some peoples kids.
 
2014-02-01 11:00:15 AM  
This sounds like an emotional weather report.
 
2014-02-01 11:00:24 AM  
Does this mean I have to repaint my rooms from alternating schemes of the McCullough Pattern?
 
2014-02-01 11:02:34 AM  

reveal101: Do people actually believe in this stuff or is it just a novel way to organize all your crap in your house?


I studied a little bit of Black Hat Feng Shui. It was kind of interesting, and most of it was just really good design advice - don't block the channels people move through in your house, don't situate things so you face a wall, keep a mixture of yang and yin things (like furniture and live plants respectively).
 
2014-02-01 11:08:13 AM  

TomD9938: I didn't think I was signing on for abandoning parts of my house for an entire year.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-02-01 11:11:38 AM  
This is way too much work. I'll just pile up boxes in the bad corners to keep the Grudge chick out, I guess
 
2014-02-01 11:11:58 AM  
Wait, so I need to avoid the front door and the garage? Are you supposed to do this for each room or the entire property?
 
2014-02-01 11:18:58 AM  
My front door, my only means of ingress for my apartment, is in the southeast corner. The deadbolt is broken, and I have twice been trapped in my own home. I am in an argument with my property manager over whether said lock needs to be replaced.

This is pertinent to my interests.
 
2014-02-01 11:28:13 AM  
I've determined, that if you believe in feng shui, the only safe place for you is down in the basement, especially if there's a big screen and a fridge full of beer down there.  "I'd come up and talk to your parents, honey, but the feng shui rays would get me.  The only place safe for me is down here, where the TV rays and beer rays block out the bad feng shui rays.  It's ancient Chinese stuff, you wouldn't understand."
 
2014-02-01 11:29:49 AM  
Live in a round house. There. Fixed it.
 
2014-02-01 11:37:00 AM  
 
2014-02-01 11:38:18 AM  
No big deal for me as I usually stay out of the Northwest and Southeast sector of my house anyway .
 
2014-02-01 11:42:17 AM  
Well, my bedroom is in the northwest sector of my house, and my kitchen is in the southeast sector. Looks like I'm in for another rough year.

/nice to know some things never change.
 
2014-02-01 11:49:34 AM  
NW is a built in book shelf. Guess I'll take the books off and put up a still. SW is a book shelf too. Hmmmm, TWO stills??
 
2014-02-01 11:59:26 AM  
There is a famous Old West tale of feng shui.

In old California, banking was very competitive, and probably the number one bank in San Francisco, many of whose customers were Chinese immigrants, made the mistake of ignoring the Buddhist priests of the area, who warned them that their new headquarters building was built on a "spook central" major intersection of evil spirits.

Well, all their Chinese customers pulled their money out of their accounts, and that bank promptly collapsed.  Their building was quietly snapped up by Wells Fargo, then one of the smaller banks around.  They were smart enough to pay off the Buddhist priests handsomely to do a platinum class cleansing and blessing of the building, with much public flair and publicity.

It now being totally clear of any evil spirits, every Chinese person in California poured their money into Wells Fargo, and the rest is history.
 
2014-02-01 12:00:51 PM  

ginkor: There is a famous Old West tale of feng shui.

In old California, banking was very competitive, and probably the number one bank in San Francisco, many of whose customers were Chinese immigrants, made the mistake of ignoring the Buddhist priests of the area, who warned them that their new headquarters building was built on a "spook central" major intersection of evil spirits.

Well, all their Chinese customers pulled their money out of their accounts, and that bank promptly collapsed.  Their building was quietly snapped up by Wells Fargo, then one of the smaller banks around.  They were smart enough to pay off the Buddhist priests handsomely to do a platinum class cleansing and blessing of the building, with much public flair and publicity.

It now being totally clear of any evil spirits, every Chinese person in California poured their money into Wells Fargo, and the rest is history.


And now Wells Fargo is screwing anyone that does business with them. Great.
 
2014-02-01 12:01:48 PM  
Everybody have fun tonight.

/everybody feng shui tonight
 
2014-02-01 12:05:12 PM  
Penn & Teller told me that feng shui...is Bullshiat!

And they're right, as usual.
 
2014-02-01 12:05:41 PM  
I read a book series that featured, among other Chinese beliefs, feng shui as a real magic, with a feng shui master being the equivalent of Gandalf. It made more sense than this bullshiat.
 
2014-02-01 12:10:56 PM  
Stupid tag unavailable?
 
2014-02-01 12:16:19 PM  
People still do is? Just because it's exotic, doesn't make it not idiotic.
 
2014-02-01 12:21:54 PM  

rikkidoxx: Live in a round house. There. Fixed it.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogan
 
2014-02-01 12:26:57 PM  

Astorix: People still do is? Just because it's exotic, doesn't make it not idiotic.



It's Chinese and thousands of years old.  Therefore it is correct and true.
 
2014-02-01 12:34:55 PM  
This stupidity explains how Obummer got elected. It all makes sense now.
 
2014-02-01 12:43:35 PM  

Chris Ween: hasty ambush: Well that does not leave a lot of options

[rrvintagetrailers.com image 850x636]

Just park it 90 degrees different. This isn't rocket surgery!!!


It is if it is on a slope.  A 90 degree  change means more cinder blocks to keep it level because I change the long axis slope oreintation
 
2014-02-01 12:45:21 PM  
...but this tiger penis soup will make me hard as a rock though, right?  And this powdered rhino horn cures cancer?  And sticking these pins in my body improves the flow of some heretofore unknown to medicine fluid throughout my body?  Great!  What, vaccinate my children?  Hell  no, that stuff is for suckers!
 
2014-02-01 12:46:09 PM  

adm_crunch: Penn & Teller told me that feng shui...is Bullshiat!

And they're right, as usual.


it's a religion IMO - like any other belief in things that can't be proved, yet violate the laws of physics or biology.

/see also:
//healing touch
///virgin birth
 
2014-02-01 01:01:34 PM  
img.fark.net

"First up, my crapper. That's where I focus a lot on my Chi."
 
2014-02-01 02:40:51 PM  
And to avoid riots, stay away from South Central.
 
2014-02-01 02:57:18 PM  

reveal101: Do people actually believe in this stuff or is it just a novel way to organize all your crap in your house?


The same culture brought us printing, gunpowder and the pervasive belief that a little flaccid penis can be made mighty by the ingestion of tiger and panda parts.
 
2014-02-01 03:45:09 PM  

Astorix: People still do is? Just because it's exotic, doesn't make it not idiotic.


This shiat is dopey, but harmless, I always thought the stupidest thing is the mystical healing and cleansing crap. You know, the wafting of the sacred smoke with the eagle feather type of healing.  Farking people die because of that shiat.

/Of course, that fits in with one the central tenets of my personal philosophy: Stupid people die sooner.
 
2014-02-01 03:46:21 PM  

Ecaps: This sounds like an emotional weather report.


www.radiohannibal.com
 
2014-02-01 04:51:03 PM  
Always put the Toilet seat down to keep the Dragon of Unhappyness from escaping into the house.
 
Displayed 50 of 54 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report