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(Politico)   Confessions of a former TSA screener: Yes, we were laughing at your junk   ( politico.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, TSA, Chicago O'Hare, tsa employees, Abdulmutallab, Admonition, female passenger  
•       •       •

12728 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2014 at 3:59 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-31 04:02:16 PM  
8 votes:
That's okay, we were laughing at his limited career prospects.
2014-01-31 04:11:46 PM  
5 votes:

ObscureNameHere: Seriously, as I guy, I don't get this 'laugh at it when soft' bit.   Unless you are 15 year old, you don't walk around with a perma-boner, so everything will be in its much smaller 'resting state'.  Standing in a security line isn't exactly a 'turn on'....


I pop viagra before every flight and request to get a hand pat down in lieu of the body scanners
2014-01-31 04:01:55 PM  
5 votes:
IT WAS F*CKING COLD!!!
2014-01-31 04:11:48 PM  
3 votes:

ObscureNameHere: Standing in a security line isn't exactly a 'turn on'....


Speak for yourself.
2014-01-31 04:49:42 PM  
2 votes:
"HA! Jokes on you" - Ken Doll
2014-01-31 04:47:29 PM  
2 votes:

TinyFist: Slypork: Yeah but were you laughing when the guy takes viagra before the patdown?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjcowVouSJo

I'd be scared to death to do something like that. Not because I'd hate to be patted down while I had a hard-on.

I'd just be really scared that some uppity woman traveling with her 3 kids would see me with a boner and freak out. Cops get involved, suddenly I'm on some list and have to tell my neighbors, can't be within a certain distance from schools/parks. etc.

Hell, I was doing some Christmas shopping at Target and had a mystery boner pop up out of nowhere, I was seriously worried about it. Had to do the old slyly tuck it up under the belt trick. I do wonder what the laws are about that. It's not like you can always control it.


The law is if you don't take it out, nothing happens, relax idiot!
2014-01-31 04:21:20 PM  
2 votes:
I've gotten asked on a few dates by tsa agents after going through those things.

"For the 3rd time buddy, you're not my type... I like brunettes".
2014-01-31 04:18:40 PM  
2 votes:
Syria, Algeria, Afghanistan
Iraq, Iran, Yemen
and Cuba,
Lebanon-Libya, Somalia-Sudan
People's Republic of North Korea.


Anyone else try to sing the to Yakko's World?

/United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama
//Haiti, Jamaica, Peru
2014-01-31 04:14:32 PM  
2 votes:
I like to go to the bathroom and thicken him up a little before the security theater show.
2014-02-01 11:46:45 PM  
1 vote:
That was an interesting article.  The TSA must have accidentally hired someone literate.
2014-01-31 08:12:57 PM  
1 vote:

Bondith: Syria, Algeria, Afghanistan
Iraq, Iran, Yemen
and Cuba,
Lebanon-Libya, Somalia-Sudan
People's Republic of North Korea.

Anyone else try to sing the to Yakko's World?

/United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama
//Haiti, Jamaica, Peru


That's TAHITI. Not Haiti.

/This song is why I have Wakko tatooed on my leg.
2014-01-31 07:30:58 PM  
1 vote:
In hospitals we need to calibrate the machines daily.

Guess how often it was done at the airports.
Less
no, less than that,
If you guessed any number that can be less, you are not there yet.

But then again I wouldn't want anyone from the TSA calibrating the machines anyway
2014-01-31 07:30:57 PM  
1 vote:

James10952001:  It's the principal of the matter that bugs me, and having to make sure I leave my tiny keychain pocket knife at home.


If you ever see Penn & Teller's show they have a copy of the Bill of Rights you can buy that's printed on metal.  That way, when you fly, you can literally be told you have to hand over your rights to be allowed on the flight.

/ah, security theater
2014-01-31 06:57:26 PM  
1 vote:
cookiefleck:

sybaris: I opt out and, while getting my federally-sponsored feel-up, stand there and sing the Schoolhouse Rock version of The Preamble.

I'M JUST A DILL, YEAH I'M ONLY A DILL


Hey Dill! Now you're a slaw!
2014-01-31 06:55:14 PM  
1 vote:
images.sodahead.com
2014-01-31 06:41:47 PM  
1 vote:
I opt out and, while getting my federally-sponsored feel-up, stand there and sing the Schoolhouse Rock version of The Preamble.
2014-01-31 06:22:32 PM  
1 vote:
Soooo when they were patting me down, they didn't mean it?

3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-01-31 05:58:54 PM  
1 vote:
I saw more Boobies from women inadvertently/intentionally bending down to remove foot ware and having a loose blouse and no other means of support.

We referred to 'em as "Holy Grail" sightings.
2014-01-31 05:05:44 PM  
1 vote:

MooseUpNorth: That's okay, we were laughing at his limited career prospects.


img.fark.net
2014-01-31 04:53:03 PM  
1 vote:

cookiefleck: My under boobs get patted, my butt cheeks get rubbed, no biggie I move on. I fly quite a bit and  Ive never seen them try to make things intentionally difficult in domestic airports. Now, this is totally different if you're flying back from a foreign country on an American airline. Then those farkers revel in taking their sweet time.


Go on.....
2014-01-31 04:49:49 PM  
1 vote:
These people should consider themselves lucky that I bother to wear pants to the airport.
2014-01-31 04:12:29 PM  
1 vote:

ObscureNameHere: Seriously, as I guy, I don't get this 'laugh at it when soft' bit.   Unless you are 15 year old, you don't walk around with a perma-boner, so everything will be in its much smaller 'resting state'.  Standing in a security line isn't exactly a 'turn on'....


Depends on if you're a grower or a shower.
2014-01-31 04:02:19 PM  
1 vote:
better than my crying I guess
 
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