If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   "My son is 11. He is not getting dirty with any female anytime soon. Not as long as I am around. So I threw out the bottle of Axe Body Wash. It just promotes sex, not cleanliness"   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 283
    More: Florida, shower gel, axe, female anytime  
•       •       •

8976 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2014 at 9:56 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



283 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-31 03:36:33 PM
I'll often use Halston Z-14, but lately I've been using this. Good stuff.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-01-31 03:43:01 PM
There's a deodorant with the scent if you object, as I do, to the idea of men wearing cologne.

ep.yimg.com
 
2014-01-31 03:43:58 PM

cynicalbastard: Most of this Body Wash, Body Spray, Man-fume or whatever the hell they're calling it is nothing but a collection of allergy-provoking substances that smell to the average person like a collection of jockstraps taken off the local soccer team after an 8-hour set of activities including but not limited to warm-up, tournament game, and 4-hour boozeup concluded with the traditional farting competition.
The inside of the jockstraps.


I really don't want to know how you know that.
 
2014-01-31 03:44:32 PM
1)Most of the axe line doesn't smell that bad. Dark Temptation smells pretty good. I would stay away from the body sprays though. I think that's where people get their negative experiences.

2)Someone mentioned earlier that women are more attracted to feminine scents. I think the people at Axe and Old Spice are on to something. Most of their products over the past year or two don't smell very "manly" and I find that whenever I use the shower gel and deodorant combo, I get a lot of complements from women about my scent even though I think I smell like a lady. I'm going to start wearing perfume to see how that works for me.
 
2014-01-31 03:52:08 PM

CeroX: Janusdog: Psychologist here. Hope you know your mom was seriously farked up.

She's ultra religious... "better to spill the seed in the belly of a whore than on the ground, so says the bible".

Which meant NO wackin'... ever...

Truthfully, she grew up the only girl with 4 brothers, in a small house. I'm sure she had her share of accidental walk ins on my uncles wackin it and likely scarred her for life of the idea...


To me this info just supports what I said.  All I mean is I hope you don't have any residual guilt.  Or swing too far to the other side and overcorrect.  It's not helpful to be too creepily permissive either.  Like there was just a letter to some columnist lately about a father demo-ing a dildo for his daughter so she could have "healthy sexuality".  The extent of the demo was unclear.  But obviously, inappropriate.
 
2014-01-31 03:54:31 PM
Hhhhhhawk.

u.jimdo.com
 
2014-01-31 03:56:39 PM

serial_crusher: WTF is this "shower gel" crap?  Use a bar of soap like a real man.


I was going to make a snide post about how I find it interesting that using bar soap is somehow tied to you masculinity but I realized that  I felt uncomfortable about posting it without somehow pointing out that I use bar soap.  This sort of crap needs to stop. We do this to young people of both genders all the time and it's sick.  It preys on our most ingrained need to fit in which is a byproduct of our evolution as a social species.  Advertisers are literally exploiting our basestinstincts to make money by selling us toxic products and unrealistic ideals and we help them every day.  Only our twisted civilization could possibly draw a link between the brand or type of soap we use and our worthiness for breeding.
 
2014-01-31 03:57:10 PM
Yeah, I don't think so. My son is 11. He is not getting dirty with any female anytime soon. Not as long as I am around.

This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2014-01-31 04:06:46 PM

Egoy3k: I was going to make a snide post about how I find it interesting that using bar soap is somehow tied to you masculinity but I realized that I felt uncomfortable about posting it without somehow pointing out that I use bar soap.


I agree. it's much less effective to drop a bottle of gel in the shower.
 
2014-01-31 04:13:53 PM

legion_of_doo: kvinesknows: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
[bio.tribune.com image 850x555]

TWO WEEKS!?


Get ready for a surprise!!
 
2014-01-31 04:15:06 PM

Somacandra: It promotes douchebaggery, not sex. The sexual imagery is just the route to douchebaggery. A decent body wash with a loofah will be fine. If the kid wants to get laid, he'll discover patchouli oil soon enough.


Assuming he wants to bed dirty hippies, sure.
 
2014-01-31 04:15:16 PM

Egoy3k: serial_crusher: WTF is this "shower gel" crap?  Use a bar of soap like a real man.

I was going to make a snide post about how I find it interesting that using bar soap is somehow tied to you masculinity but I realized that  I felt uncomfortable about posting it without somehow pointing out that I use bar soap.  This sort of crap needs to stop. We do this to young people of both genders all the time and it's sick.  It preys on our most ingrained need to fit in which is a byproduct of our evolution as a social species.  Advertisers are literally exploiting our basestinstincts to make money by selling us toxic products and unrealistic ideals and we help them every day.  Only our twisted civilization could possibly draw a link between the brand or type of soap we use and our worthiness for breeding.


Nothing will compare to the sense of embarassment I felt the first time I had to buy shampoo in college, and the store only had all this girly scented stuff with pictures of flowers on the bottles.  "ok. ok.  You can do this.  Just pick the least girly one.  Wait, which one is least girly?  This one doesn't look as girly, but it says it smells like lilacs.  What the heck does a lilac even smell like?  Do... do lilacs smell like girls?"

Eventually they started stocking Suave For Men, which came in a blue bottle and had the words "FOR MEN" predominantly displayed on the bottle.  It was a life saver.  Whoever invented that was a genius, but I guess he was the predecessor of Axe and all that other crap.
 
2014-01-31 04:24:29 PM

serial_crusher: Egoy3k: serial_crusher: WTF is this "shower gel" crap?  Use a bar of soap like a real man.

I was going to make a snide post about how I find it interesting that using bar soap is somehow tied to you masculinity but I realized that  I felt uncomfortable about posting it without somehow pointing out that I use bar soap.  This sort of crap needs to stop. We do this to young people of both genders all the time and it's sick.  It preys on our most ingrained need to fit in which is a byproduct of our evolution as a social species.  Advertisers are literally exploiting our basestinstincts to make money by selling us toxic products and unrealistic ideals and we help them every day.  Only our twisted civilization could possibly draw a link between the brand or type of soap we use and our worthiness for breeding.

Nothing will compare to the sense of embarassment I felt the first time I had to buy shampoo in college, and the store only had all this girly scented stuff with pictures of flowers on the bottles.  "ok. ok.  You can do this.  Just pick the least girly one.  Wait, which one is least girly?  This one doesn't look as girly, but it says it smells like lilacs.  What the heck does a lilac even smell like?  Do... do lilacs smell like girls?"

Eventually they started stocking Suave For Men, which came in a blue bottle and had the words "FOR MEN" predominantly displayed on the bottle.  It was a life saver.  Whoever invented that was a genius, but I guess he was the predecessor of Axe and all that other crap.



Someone must have been reading your mind...

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-31 05:10:19 PM
Great going Mom, you just made sure he is going to do it with some boy instead!
 
2014-01-31 05:12:10 PM
My lady friend really seems to enjoy the scent of Old Spice antiperspirant on me.

So does my cat, though hopefully he likes it for different reasons.
 
2014-01-31 05:21:19 PM

Janusdog: CeroX: Janusdog: Psychologist here. Hope you know your mom was seriously farked up.

She's ultra religious... "better to spill the seed in the belly of a whore than on the ground, so says the bible".

Which meant NO wackin'... ever...

Truthfully, she grew up the only girl with 4 brothers, in a small house. I'm sure she had her share of accidental walk ins on my uncles wackin it and likely scarred her for life of the idea...

To me this info just supports what I said.  All I mean is I hope you don't have any residual guilt.  Or swing too far to the other side and overcorrect.  It's not helpful to be too creepily permissive either.  Like there was just a letter to some columnist lately about a father demo-ing a dildo for his daughter so she could have "healthy sexuality".  The extent of the demo was unclear.  But obviously, inappropriate.


I'm going to buy or DL his porn for him (mostly so he's not surfing unsafe porn sites and infecting his computer, or delving into the illegal) and give him a box of tissues and say "Stick a sock on the doorknob to let us know when we need to stay out. Use the tissues, not a sock, we'll buy more. Keep the volume low enough we can't hear it. There's no shame, but there's no reason to broadcast it either."

Hopefully that's not too far to the other side so to speak...
 
2014-01-31 05:32:49 PM

CeroX: Janusdog: CeroX: Janusdog: Psychologist here. Hope you know your mom was seriously farked up.

She's ultra religious... "better to spill the seed in the belly of a whore than on the ground, so says the bible".

Which meant NO wackin'... ever...

Truthfully, she grew up the only girl with 4 brothers, in a small house. I'm sure she had her share of accidental walk ins on my uncles wackin it and likely scarred her for life of the idea...

To me this info just supports what I said.  All I mean is I hope you don't have any residual guilt.  Or swing too far to the other side and overcorrect.  It's not helpful to be too creepily permissive either.  Like there was just a letter to some columnist lately about a father demo-ing a dildo for his daughter so she could have "healthy sexuality".  The extent of the demo was unclear.  But obviously, inappropriate.

I'm going to buy or DL his porn for him (mostly so he's not surfing unsafe porn sites and infecting his computer, or delving into the illegal) and give him a box of tissues and say "Stick a sock on the doorknob to let us know when we need to stay out. Use the tissues, not a sock, we'll buy more. Keep the volume low enough we can't hear it. There's no shame, but there's no reason to broadcast it either."

Hopefully that's not too far to the other side so to speak...


putting the sock on the door broadcasts it.
 
2014-01-31 05:54:14 PM

Diogenes: amindtat: So any suggestions on a better product than Axe that I can spray on my 11 year old to keep him from stinking, yet not have everyone point and laugh at him?

The Dove Men's line is nice.

As for a cologne - everyone is different.  I don't wear it often myself.  But this is a very nice, light scent.  Clean.

[img.fark.net image 225x225]


It's fine if you don't mind acquiring blue-in-blue eyes.
 
2014-01-31 06:05:05 PM

CeroX: I'm going to buy or DL his porn for him (mostly so he's not surfing unsafe porn sites and infecting his computer, or delving into the illegal) and give him a box of tissues and say "Stick a sock on the doorknob to let us know when we need to stay out.


How about knocking before just waltzing into his room when his door is closed?
 
2014-01-31 06:13:24 PM

CeroX: I'm going to buy or DL his porn for him (mostly so he's not surfing unsafe porn sites and infecting his computer, or delving into the illegal)


So are you going to have an awkward parent-child conversation about what his sexual interests are, or are you just going to project your own onto him?

Also, you might as well assume that whenever the door to the room he's in is closed, he's masturbating in there.  This will be true until he moves out of your home and into the dorms.
 
2014-01-31 06:31:26 PM
Id like to try this, but would like a scratch n sniff card or trial sample or something before i order a $40 bottle from amazon...

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-01-31 07:00:40 PM

CeroX: I'm going to buy or DL his porn for him (mostly so he's not surfing unsafe porn sites and infecting his computer, or delving into the illegal) and give him a box of tissues and say "Stick a sock on the doorknob to let us know when we need to stay out. Use the tissues, not a sock, we'll buy more. Keep the volume low enough we can't hear it. There's no shame, but there's no reason to broadcast it either."

Hopefully that's not too far to the other side so to speak...


Please tell me that you're joking. Holy shiat, dude. That is too far in the other direction.

Do not acquire his porn for him. Just give him a computer with his own account that is not the administrator account so random things can't get installed. Don't hand him tissues just keep extra boxes of tissues and rolls of TP in a closet. Don't ask him to announce when he's jerking it with a sock. FFS, are you trying to make it as uncomfortable as possible?

He wont want you to know about it. He wont want you to approach him with new spank material. Finding porn, discovering what you like, finding new things in the process and the hunt in general is half of the fun. It's a weird time for a guy. He will not want any acknowledgement of his parents being aware that he's doing that. Just knock of the door is closed. Trust me, when a young guy is jerking it when other people in the house you'd think you know what the most sensitive part of his body is at that moment. But you'd be wrong because it's his ears. The last thing he wants is for others to walk in on him.

You taking an active interest in him playing with his new best friend WILL fark him up. If you happen across it by accident then just say something, "Just make sure to keep it private". Seriously, we don't want out parents having an active part in our jerking it. Be cool and non give-a-shiat about it. Don't offer up spank help.

Now, during "the talk" make it known that if he can't get condoms that you'd be more than happy to buy them. if he's uncomfortable with asking directly then just keep a box in a closet. If you notice it's gone, or the empty box is all that's left then you'd replace it.
 
2014-01-31 07:06:27 PM
So, to sum it up - You being hands off is the best way to make sure that he's well adjusted with being hands on.
 
2014-01-31 07:48:55 PM

CeroX: Hopefully that's not too far to the other side so to speak...


Yah, that's too far.  When you talk about sex, among the other things you talk about (being safe on and offline, etc), set expectations around porn.  Porn displays a relationship out of context - only one aspect of it.  Women deserve respect that isn't necessarily shown in it, and women don't enjoy sex the way porn displays it.

Otherwise, let him do his own exploring.
 
2014-01-31 08:29:56 PM

baka-san: Treetop1000: The only chick magnet worth using.
[i183.photobucket.com image 500x500]

Smell like a real man...

[images.fendrihan.com image 222x222]


www.proof66.com

Pfft! Real men reek of cheap bourbon. Just chug an entire bottle and you're good to go!
 
2014-01-31 09:05:39 PM
My grandma got me a can of Axe Anarchy for X-Mas. Haven't used it, but I like law and order in my armpits!!!! Plus I prefer to lather down with:

www.hormelfoods.com

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, if I'm on a date and really wanna get the ladies wild, I just lather down with:

t0.gstatic.com

SCENT OF A MAN, BABY!!!!
 
2014-01-31 09:47:00 PM

Babwa Wawa: women don't enjoy sex the way porn displays it.


Well, some women do, sometimes.

But he can find that out for himself when he's older.
 
2014-01-31 10:08:44 PM

poot_rootbeer: Well, some women do, sometimes.

But he can find that out for himself when he's older.


That's true - I should have written "don't always enjoy".  I do find that redtube is not the best way to gauge what women want.

Sad, really.
 
2014-02-01 01:38:56 AM
So in the late 80's it was Polo for the kids that could afford it, and yet, no subtlety about that one either.

This is the rite of the adolescent-to-teen male, and it has always been thus.
 
2014-02-01 08:17:03 AM

UNC_Samurai: CSB time.

Several years ago when I was a manager at the local Gamestop, we had a large promotional deal with Axe. We were cross-promoting their new Snake Peel brand. But the day we got in the box of a thousand little free samples, the company deep-sided the promotion. They weren't happy about the suggestive nature of the ad; it said something about being seduced by a sword-swallower. So corp sends me an email directing me to throw them out or give them to the employees, just don't give them away to customers. My employees each grabbed a handful and I took the rest of the box home - about three hundred samples. My next day off, Mrs. Samurai and I were going out to dinner. I decided to give the Axe stuff a try, because why not. About five minutes into my shower, I've used two or three of these packets, and she walks into the bathroom to grab something. She gets a whiff of the Snake Peel, and somehow the stuff actually worked like they mentioned in the advertisement - the scent turned her on not a little. We skip dinner.

What's strange is, that brand out of the bottle didn't have the same effect on her (and she thinks the other Axe brands smell like a bar of soap was crossed with cheap cologne). But those samples had some mojo. Every once in a while I'll find one in the back of my bathroom cupboard and completely ruin whatever plans we had for the evening.

So yeah, Axe and the am-bro-ence they promote can EABOD, but whatever they did with those samples, I'd really like to know.


I was beginning to wonder if I was alone in that....
I think the bottles get a little weaker over time.  They're still nice new.  Get small ones from a store that probably gets stock in regularly.

The spray is horrible.  That body wash smells like the guy is really clean.... and then worked on some light construction for about 10 minutes, without eating anything that would mess up that particular effect.


Have not smelled the type mentioned in the article though.  I doubt it really smells like chocolate - that doesn't seem to mesh with the other Axe stuff.  However, I can totally see a candy smelling shower gel that DOESN'T scream pre-school being appealing to pre-teens.
 
2014-02-01 08:46:12 AM

Diogenes: Ugh.  "oblivious"


1.bp.blogspot.com

Knocking you into Bolivion
 
2014-02-01 10:40:41 AM
FTFA:  I have my own bathroom, too. It's the clean one.

Stopped reading right there. Women's bathrooms are just as messy/dirty/cluttered, if not more, than men's. Author lost all credibility right there.
 
2014-02-01 02:45:09 PM

kvinesknows: And take a quick wif lady.. are your loins on fire?  no?  in fact you are repulsed?  yeah...  think about that for a moment


She was also repulsed at the picture of the girl standing next to the guy as if they were doing something unthinkable and has a separate bathroom from her husband. I'm thinking something else is amiss here.

/Axe is repulsive in any case.
//You know what I like on a guy? Soap.
 
Displayed 33 of 283 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report