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(Orlando Sentinel)   "My son is 11. He is not getting dirty with any female anytime soon. Not as long as I am around. So I threw out the bottle of Axe Body Wash. It just promotes sex, not cleanliness"   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 278
    More: Florida, shower gel, axe, female anytime  
•       •       •

8996 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2014 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-31 11:06:01 AM  
Actually, it promotes stinking so hard people tear up around you.
 
2014-01-31 11:07:33 AM  
The lesson that this mother taught?  It is better to steal and be deceptive than be clean and nice-smelling.

In four years the letter will be "I was always a good mother but he rebels at any thing that I want".
 
2014-01-31 11:09:04 AM  

give me doughnuts: Prom night, 1982.

[fimgs.net image 300x360]

The smell of this shiat permeated the place.
Much like the interior of  theorellior's friend's car.


You know, if you only use a tiny bit, that shiat smells fantastic. That's the problem, no one uses a tiny bit, heh.(my 1994 prom also smelled like Drakkar, for what it's worth, it had a good long run of popularity, lol)
 
2014-01-31 11:11:11 AM  
I am impressed an 11 year old boy is bathing
 
2014-01-31 11:11:12 AM  

neongoats: give me doughnuts: Prom night, 1982.

[fimgs.net image 300x360]

The smell of this shiat permeated the place.
Much like the interior of  theorellior's friend's car.

You know, if you only use a tiny bit, that shiat smells fantastic. That's the problem, no one uses a tiny bit, heh.(my 1994 prom also smelled like Drakkar, for what it's worth, it had a good long run of popularity, lol)


friendsoftype.com
 
2014-01-31 11:12:09 AM  
 I am hoping our son won't mind going back to the SpongeBob shower gel he used to use, but I doubt it.

Doesn't she know SpongBob is gay?

Not that there is anything wrong with that....
 
2014-01-31 11:12:31 AM  

tom baker's scarf: [img.fark.net image 207x244]

if you want to sleep with that woman find out what cologne her father uses.

\works surprisingly well.


Okay, how do I find out the Dad's cologne? Sleep with her mom and ask her?

/Foreseeing a date with Grandma before that.
 
2014-01-31 11:12:31 AM  

Babwa Wawa: hailin: The age for a first encounter has dropped to 13. He is two years away from boinking some girl behind the school shed.

No.  No.  No.  No.

That is wrong, has been wrong for a long time, and is has gotten more wrong in recent years.


Oh let me guess...that study relied on surveys from teenagers. There is no way the majority of people's first sexual encounter was 17. I started when I was 15 and the last of all the girls I knew in high school to lose her virginity.

Yeah, yeah...we were all sluts. I stayed with the same guy I lost my virginity to for four years. It wasn't until college I decided sex was a recreational activity separate from love and turned into a super slut.
 
2014-01-31 11:13:18 AM  
I feel sorry for any 11 year old that's already trying to get laid. You don't realize what a gift childhood is until you're an old fart like me. Stay a goddamn kid a few more years. There will be plenty of time for pussy.
 
2014-01-31 11:13:46 AM  
People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.
 
2014-01-31 11:14:19 AM  

hailin: Babwa Wawa: hailin: The age for a first encounter has dropped to 13. He is two years away from boinking some girl behind the school shed.

No.  No.  No.  No.

That is wrong, has been wrong for a long time, and is has gotten more wrong in recent years.

Oh let me guess...that study relied on surveys from teenagers. There is no way the majority of people's first sexual encounter was 17. I started when I was 15 and the last of all the girls I knew in high school to lose her virginity.

Yeah, yeah...we were all sluts. I stayed with the same guy I lost my virginity to for four years. It wasn't until college I decided sex was a recreational activity separate from love and turned into a super slut.


You spelled "Attention Whore" wrong.
 
2014-01-31 11:15:24 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: I am sure I will get flamed for this... but I love this:

[www.youchew.net image 180x180]


My 60 year old Salvadorian doorman wears that.
 
2014-01-31 11:16:04 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [i1.ytimg.com image 850x478]


Fist of angry god for the gootch.
 
2014-01-31 11:18:11 AM  

Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.


What I don't understand is the use of deodorant. Worried about how you smell? Take a shower.
 
2014-01-31 11:18:39 AM  

give me doughnuts: Prom night, 1982.

[fimgs.net image 300x360]

The smell of this shiat permeated the place.
Much like the interior of  theorellior's friend's car.


I live near a High School. The other month, while riding my bike one Sunday and doing a circuit around the school (it's on the way back from my route and on a good long hill), I started coughing as I neared the corner to go around the street that borders the front. An entire city block away was the entrance, and at that entrance were about 30 HS girls, all DRENCHED IN PERFUME. I could barely breathe as I passed the front. I was maybe 30 feet away from them at my closest, and it was unbearable. Jesus frigging Christ, less is more!
 
2014-01-31 11:19:16 AM  
"It just promotes sex, not cleanliness"

areyoufinishedyet.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-31 11:20:24 AM  

Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.


maybe you can rebrand it as HBS instead of BO, start walking around smelling like shiat but only do it if people think you are cool, you gotta be an ambassador, breh.
 
2014-01-31 11:20:56 AM  

UNC_Samurai: I'd really like to know.


Research showed that loading samples with actual pheromones would make people think the product in the bottle actually worked as well.
 
2014-01-31 11:22:17 AM  
To hell with AXE products. if it wasn't for booze and drugs I would still be a virgin.
 
2014-01-31 11:22:37 AM  

drtgb: I am hoping our son won't mind going back to the SpongeBob shower gel he used to use, but I doubt it.

Doesn't she know SpongBob is gay?

Not that there is anything wrong with that....


The kid'll be ok as long as he doesn't wash his balls with it.   Then he won't 'catch the gay'.
 
2014-01-31 11:24:08 AM  

yakmans_dad: I'm guessing that the idea of setting moral and rational limits for children seems odd, or even comic, to the submitter.


I'm guessing that submitter thinks worrying about silly marketing on a horrible smelling body spray isn't worth mentioning, let alone writing an article about.  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
 
2014-01-31 11:24:15 AM  

Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.


Difficulty: Art students in Texas in August.
 
2014-01-31 11:25:03 AM  

baconbeard: hailin: Babwa Wawa: hailin: The age for a first encounter has dropped to 13. He is two years away from boinking some girl behind the school shed.

No.  No.  No.  No.

That is wrong, has been wrong for a long time, and is has gotten more wrong in recent years.

Oh let me guess...that study relied on surveys from teenagers. There is no way the majority of people's first sexual encounter was 17. I started when I was 15 and the last of all the girls I knew in high school to lose her virginity.

Yeah, yeah...we were all sluts. I stayed with the same guy I lost my virginity to for four years. It wasn't until college I decided sex was a recreational activity separate from love and turned into a super slut.

You spelled "Attention Whore" wrong.


NTTATWWT
 
2014-01-31 11:25:22 AM  
And another serial killer is nurtured.
 
2014-01-31 11:25:36 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Farce-Side: NOOOOO Mommy's little boy can't grow up!!!  Stay here with Mommy!!! I'll protect you from those wretched little whores!!! They only want to hurt you!!!

Mother... Mildly NSFW lyrics.

/Thought that was appropriate.


More like This.
 
2014-01-31 11:25:55 AM  

abhorrent1: [i1.ytimg.com image 640x480]

Was it her?


ohgodohgodohgod I hate those commercials sooooo much!  The stupid burns.

As for blogger mommy with real issues, he's an 11 year old boy.  Be glad he's USING soap.

When he was about that age, my kid would wet the bar of soap while taking a bath , but not use it.  :/  I had to resort to post bath inspections for a while.  Then he hit 13, and we eventually had to have the "stop drowning yourself in all the shampoo/soap/deodorant/aftershave you can find in the bathroom".

Was quite the pattern change.  :)
 
2014-01-31 11:26:52 AM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Was quite the pattern change. :)


Testosterone will do that.
 
2014-01-31 11:29:56 AM  
When he saw what she had done,
He gave his mother 41.
 
2014-01-31 11:30:12 AM  

theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Was quite the pattern change. :)

Testosterone will do that.


Yes I know.  It wasn't a mystery.
 
2014-01-31 11:31:29 AM  
I thought Axe was for the douches who are into manlove, like fratboys and roidheads.
 
2014-01-31 11:33:05 AM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Yes I know. It wasn't a mystery.


Sorry, I wasn't trying to be snarky, just ruefully observant.
 
2014-01-31 11:33:50 AM  

yakmans_dad: Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.

What I don't understand is the use of deodorant. Worried about how you smell? Take a shower.


Hey bro want a cool story?

I'm not worried about my smell but if I have anything really important to do it gives me anxiety and my pit stains get out of hand really quickly. Whenever I have a job interview (or a date) I put on my shirt after I get there so it doesn't look like I just ran up a giant flight of stairs. I shower and apply deodorant daily and this still happens on the reg. Even prescription strength deodorant can't stop me from ruining all my nice shirts
 
2014-01-31 11:35:08 AM  
Not sure about that Axe crap..... but the smell of money always brings the babes like yard dogs on a bone.

cdn2.mademan.com

ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2014-01-31 11:35:55 AM  
On one point, she is right. The EVIL marketers are using SEX to promote their product. (I'd put in the proper Bill Hurt link, but you know it already). They know us sheep.

Is she being a helicopter mom? A little.11 is a bit precocious for the stink juice though.
 
2014-01-31 11:36:14 AM  

theorellior: theflatline: I am old and I have met and bangulated many, but you would not think it odd in the heat of the moment, passions rising, if some woman told you you smelled like dear old dad?

See, that's the thing. Barring any weird Daddy Issues, the scent doesn't directly bring up sensual thoughts in the woman. What it does is go directly to the olfactory center and subliminally activate feelings of security and protection. That relaxes her, and once relaxed, she can allow the sexytime thoughts to emerge.


This. The whole farking point of these products is to mask our own natural scent with a familiar one.
 
2014-01-31 11:37:48 AM  
In other words, she believes the hype too.
 
2014-01-31 11:38:14 AM  

fsufan: Not sure about that Axe crap..... but the smell of money always brings the babes like yard dogs on a bone.

[cdn2.mademan.com image 200x272]

[ts3.mm.bing.net image 300x225]


"Our latest men's fragrance that is  very popular with the ladies is a subtle blend of leather, chocolate and gold bullion."
 
2014-01-31 11:38:49 AM  

theorellior: Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.

Difficulty: Art students in Texas in August.


I had two experiences where the O and the B separated. One was a group of economics professors from Czechoslovakia. (Before the split.) I  was supposed to deliver a note to one of them and they'd left the meeting room. I was able to follow the O to find the group though they were several hundred yards away and around the corners of several buildings. The other was a group of foreign (I don't know the country) graduate students. We were to share an office. The first and last morning, though the office was empty, the O actually made my eyes water. Ordinarily I am as meek as a kitten, but I went and demanded another office. Apparently I was not the first and there was no objection to my demand.
 
2014-01-31 11:40:02 AM  

tblax: yakmans_dad: Coming on a Bicycle: People shouldn't be so fuggin' afraid of smelling each other. Especially Americans. Human body smell is - under most circumstances - completely acceptable.

What I don't understand is the use of deodorant. Worried about how you smell? Take a shower.

Hey bro want a cool story?

I'm not worried about my smell but if I have anything really important to do it gives me anxiety and my pit stains get out of hand really quickly. Whenever I have a job interview (or a date) I put on my shirt after I get there so it doesn't look like I just ran up a giant flight of stairs. I shower and apply deodorant daily and this still happens on the reg. Even prescription strength deodorant can't stop me from ruining all my nice shirts


Antiperspirant =/= deodorant.

Sorry. That can be difficult to deal with.
 
2014-01-31 11:42:03 AM  
Here's what I just read:

rack.1.mshcdn.com

"It's not my fault for being a bad parent and not knowing what my child got!  It's THEIR fault for taking advantage of my stupid husband and letting them corrupt my precious little 11-year-old snowflake!  Someone needs to get their little bottom sued off!  Waaaaaahhh!!!"

Here's what I think really happened: Dad was trying to pull a "that's my boy" move by trying to make his son more of a man and didn't think his wife would flip out like she did.  He then claimed ignorance to save face.  Either that, or the dad really was this stupid and has been living under a rock for the past 12 years or so, since he was so blissfully unaware that Axe is marketed to teens and college students.
 
2014-01-31 11:42:33 AM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: abhorrent1: [i1.ytimg.com image 640x480]

Was it her?

ohgodohgodohgod I hate those commercials sooooo much!  The stupid burns.

As for blogger mommy with real issues, he's an 11 year old boy.  Be glad he's USING soap.

When he was about that age, my kid would wet the bar of soap while taking a bath , but not use it.  :/  I had to resort to post bath inspections for a while.  Then he hit 13, and we eventually had to have the "stop drowning yourself in all the shampoo/soap/deodorant/aftershave you can find in the bathroom".

Was quite the pattern change.  :)


I had a cousin who used to fill the tub up and stick his head in, and wrap a towel around his waist, and come out and proudly proclaim he had bathed.

His dad said "no you didn't" because he dad had stuck a 20 dollar bill under the bar of soap and it was still there.

He subsequently had to take a bathe in the front yard in a metal tub while my uncle hosed him off.

The 20 had been under the soap for 4 frigging days.
 
2014-01-31 11:44:21 AM  

EvilVanMan: Get that kid some irish spring!


I actually like how Irish Spring smells. Not enough to actually buy it, but it's not bad.
 
2014-01-31 11:44:43 AM  

"Axe! Preferred by pedophiles two to one over other shower gels. Axe! When you really want a dirty boy!"

 
2014-01-31 11:45:00 AM  

theflatline: Satan's Bunny Slippers: abhorrent1: [i1.ytimg.com image 640x480]

Was it her?

ohgodohgodohgod I hate those commercials sooooo much!  The stupid burns.

As for blogger mommy with real issues, he's an 11 year old boy.  Be glad he's USING soap.

When he was about that age, my kid would wet the bar of soap while taking a bath , but not use it.  :/  I had to resort to post bath inspections for a while.  Then he hit 13, and we eventually had to have the "stop drowning yourself in all the shampoo/soap/deodorant/aftershave you can find in the bathroom".

Was quite the pattern change.  :)

I had a cousin who used to fill the tub up and stick his head in, and wrap a towel around his waist, and come out and proudly proclaim he had bathed.

His dad said "no you didn't" because he dad had stuck a 20 dollar bill under the bar of soap and it was still there.

He subsequently had to take a bathe in the front yard in a metal tub while my uncle hosed him off.

The 20 had been under the soap for 4 frigging days.


That's...genius!   Will need to try.
 
2014-01-31 11:45:17 AM  

theflatline: Satan's Bunny Slippers: abhorrent1: [i1.ytimg.com image 640x480]

Was it her?

ohgodohgodohgod I hate those commercials sooooo much!  The stupid burns.

As for blogger mommy with real issues, he's an 11 year old boy.  Be glad he's USING soap.

When he was about that age, my kid would wet the bar of soap while taking a bath , but not use it.  :/  I had to resort to post bath inspections for a while.  Then he hit 13, and we eventually had to have the "stop drowning yourself in all the shampoo/soap/deodorant/aftershave you can find in the bathroom".

Was quite the pattern change.  :)

I had a cousin who used to fill the tub up and stick his head in, and wrap a towel around his waist, and come out and proudly proclaim he had bathed.

His dad said "no you didn't" because he dad had stuck a 20 dollar bill under the bar of soap and it was still there.

He subsequently had to take a bathe in the front yard in a metal tub while my uncle hosed him off.

The 20 had been under the soap for 4 frigging days.


Hah I used to pull that same trick when I was like seven years old. But four days is bad, even by my current grungy hipster standards
 
2014-01-31 11:45:37 AM  
This is hilarious, I bought my son (8) an Axe gift set for Christmas this year, so I'm getting a kick. My wife isn't an insufferable prude though... which is nice...

He's still at the age where he doesn't get man-stink, but I want to get him in the habit now so when puberty starts to kick in, he will be ahead of the curve.

I myself had an insufferable prude of a mother growing up who tried to punish puberty back inside me. I went from being allowed to take showers at the age of 10 to being forced to take baths at 12 (so she could hear the splashing water if i has jerking off).

I'd like to see my son be more successful as a teenager than I was allowed to be...
 
2014-01-31 11:49:17 AM  
I like Trader Joes oatmeal bar soap and the blue label Speedstick fresh scent. Combined with my natural smell, women seem to like it a lot.
YMMV
 
2014-01-31 11:52:08 AM  

abfalter: I feel sorry for the husband of this shrew.  His sex life must be awful, if it even exists.


Why on earth would they need to have sex again?  Sex is for procreation and they already have children.


/duh!
 
2014-01-31 11:52:41 AM  
The mind of an adolescent boy.
I'm not getting laid, I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN!!!
Better take longer showers, maybe I smell.
I'm not getting laid.
Better wear cooler clothes.
I'm not getting laid.
Better slather scented crap on.
I'm not getting laid.
Better drive faster
I'm not getting laid.
Selfies of junk sent to random girls.
I'm not getting laid.

Repeat until old, fat, bald.
 
2014-01-31 11:53:11 AM  
What cologne does this guy wear?
i.imgur.com
CASH
 
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