TheGogmagog: I blame Microsoft (and whoever else) who made fonts intellectual property rather than open source.
Smelly Pirate Hooker: "I'm Comic Sans, Motherfarker," is the best thing to come out of all the hate.
Which is pointless.
It's not my fave font, either. I like Bookman. American Typewriter is OK.
For everyday shiat, Arial is good enough.
Totally agreed, it must be shown to those who have not basked in its glory...
I'm Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY Mike Lacher
- - - -
Listen up. I know the shiat you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes farking Gutenberg.
You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fark what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fark up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfarking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft farking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfarking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshiat. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
The Irresponsible Captain: [www.pbfingers.com image 553x738]I agree. You typeface choice broadcasts your commitment to quality and the tone of your operation.Comic Sans broadcasts things like: "Sloppy," "Amateurish," and "Low attention to detail." It's also overused. (Sand is frequently overused as well.)You never use a Microsoft Office font in advertising, with few exceptions of included professional fonts. Times and Helvetica are always appropriate, they are the background of type, they are the ubiquitous bits of art that fade into the background and get out of your way. They are genius in their neutralness.
BrianGriffin: (b) a Master's thesis or Doctoral dissertation
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