If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ESPN)   Eli the ape from Utah has predicted the Seattle Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. What's the big deal? He has correctly picked the last six Super Bowl winners   (espn.go.com) divider line 100
    More: Spiffy, Seahawks, Super Bowl, Utah, Super Bowl champions, goal posts  
•       •       •

455 clicks; posted to Sports » on 31 Jan 2014 at 9:05 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-31 08:06:04 AM
Well he is quite different from another Eli that makes picks...
 
2014-01-31 08:07:38 AM
I only accept predictions on the outcome of sporting events from cephalopods.
 
2014-01-31 09:14:04 AM
I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!
 
2014-01-31 09:14:58 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-31 09:29:04 AM
pffft, amateur. Try this on a global scale...

i.huffpost.com
 
2014-01-31 09:36:41 AM

Semper IvXx: I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!


Hey now, one-in-a-hundred shots don't come along every day, now do they?

/it's actually better than 1 in 100
 
2014-01-31 09:44:33 AM

Semper IvXx: I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!


Yeah, but now that he's got 6 coin flips correct, you know the odds of him getting the 7th right???
 
2014-01-31 09:46:27 AM
He's deflecting and not divulging his true method.  Eli the Ape has a very strong mind for mismatches and performance disparity, and he pays particular attention to special teams.  The thing that worries Eli about this game is that even though Seattle will be handily ahead by about 10 points midway into the 4th quarter, Denver's quick-strike offense could finally wake up and score multiple times very quickly.  And while not even the best Vegas oddsmakers can be confident in that kind of margin of error, Eli is counting on the weather to help Seattle to hold on against Denver's late desperation drives.
 
2014-01-31 09:49:59 AM
Eli, picks, TD returns, already been done.
 
2014-01-31 09:51:38 AM

ToastmasterGeneral: Semper IvXx: I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!

Yeah, but now that he's got 6 coin flips correct, you know the odds of him getting the 7th right???


Very likely that this was the 7th and he got the first guess wrong

Sports pet peeve:  When someone says "they've won 15 of their last 19, without a doubt they've won 15 of their last 20, or worse"
He's made 9 of his last 12 shots?  9 of his last 13 or possibly worse
It works the other way:  The Astros have lost 7 of their last 8 games?  They've really only lost 7 of their last 9, or possibly better.
Analysts like sensationalism!!!!
 
2014-01-31 09:56:36 AM

grinding_journalist: Semper IvXx: I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!

Hey now, one-in-a-hundred shots don't come along every day, now do they?

/it's actually better than 1 in 100


It is 1 in 64, which is pretty impressive actually, but considering that nearly every zoo has an animal picking, one was bound to be right that often.
 
2014-01-31 09:56:46 AM
Well, as a broncos fan, now I can say that I hate every ape I see, from chimp-an-a to chimpanzee.
 
2014-01-31 10:07:20 AM

machoprogrammer: grinding_journalist: Semper IvXx: I'm not sure "big deal" means what you think it means.

/six coin flip guesses right in a row?! Omgzors that's impossible!

Hey now, one-in-a-hundred shots don't come along every day, now do they?

/it's actually better than 1 in 100

It is 1 in 64, which is pretty impressive actually, but considering that nearly every zoo has an animal picking, one was bound to be right that often.


It's not all that impressive.  It's "bar bet" odds, and in reality, he's only got a 50/50 chance of guessing this one correctly.

So it literally is a coin-flip.
 
2014-01-31 10:19:39 AM
img.photobucket.com

Thinks the ape's name should be Washoe.
 
2014-01-31 10:20:58 AM
So six picks? Sounds about right for Eli
 
2014-01-31 10:22:01 AM

Nana's Vibrator: Very likely that this was the 7th and he got the first guess wrong

Sports pet peeve: When someone says "they've won 15 of their last 19, without a doubt they've won 15 of their last 20, or worse"
He's made 9 of his last 12 shots? 9 of his last 13 or possibly worse


I cringe every time an announcer is trying to say something worthwhile during the prep for a field goal: "and he's only missed one so far this year!"

That's jinx city, man.
 
2014-01-31 10:28:22 AM
Past performance of anything doesn't mean that future performance will be the same. I do think the Seahawks will win easily though. Denver hasn't seen a defense like this all year. Get Manning out of the pocket and out of red zone, and Denver will struggle.
 
2014-01-31 10:32:10 AM
1) Get thousands of apes, monkeys, elephants, etc, to randomly pick the Super Bowl winner every year.
2) After 4 years, hype the hell out of the 1/16 of them remaining that have picked 4 straight Super Bowls right and continue to do so as the pool shrinks in half each year.
3) Profit?
 
2014-01-31 10:43:45 AM

wiseolddude: Denver hasn't seen a defense like this all year.

 Get Manning out of the pocket and out of red zone, and Denver will struggle.

That's so simple.  It's a wonder that none of the teams they've played this season have thought to try that strategy.

/ seriously, if it were that easy to get pressure on Manning he'd have taken more than 17 sacks this season
// the flip-side to your argument is that Seattle hasn't seen an offense like this all season
/// I think it's downright silly to think that either team will win this game easily
 
2014-01-31 10:44:43 AM

balki1867: 1) Get thousands of apes, monkeys, elephants, etc, to randomly pick the Super Bowl winner every year.
2) After 4 years, hype the hell out of the 1/16 of them remaining that have picked 4 straight Super Bowls right and continue to do so as the pool shrinks in half each year.
3) Profit?


This.  Start with, say, 1,000 animals.

half of them will get the first one right, and half will get all the subsequent ones right, so this would be the progression of "correct" guesses (rounded down):

1. 500
2. 250
3. 125
4.  62
5. 31
6. 15
7. 7
8. 3
9. 1

You could point to that last animal and say "Gorgo here has predicted the last *9* superbowls correctly!  The odds of that happening are 1,000 to 1!  I'll give you 10 to 1 odds that he is [correct|incorrect] this year!".

And everyone who has never taken Statistics 101 would fall for it.
 
2014-01-31 10:47:37 AM

balki1867: 1) Get thousands of apes, monkeys, elephants, etc, to randomly pick the Super Bowl winner every year.



I tried that, but too many of them were only interested in writing the complete works of Shakespeare.
 
2014-01-31 10:59:36 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Well, as a broncos fan, now I can say that I hate every ape I see, from chimp-an-a to chimpanzee.


They'll never make a monkey out of thee?
 
2014-01-31 11:12:40 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Well, as a broncos fan, now I can say that I hate every ape I see, from chimp-an-a to chimpanzee.


As long as we are still good with the beloved chimpanzed.
 
2014-01-31 11:16:40 AM

abhorrent1: So six picks? Sounds about right for Eli


bam!
 
2014-01-31 11:17:00 AM
My cat is pretty good at it. For the last 6 Superbowls he got 3 correct and 3 wrong. 50 / 50 isn't too bad. He's just as good at coin flips. I wrote to the various late night talk shows that feature animal tricks to see if I can get him on one of them. The cat tells me the chances are 50 / 50, so I'm hopeful.
 
2014-01-31 11:21:18 AM
Unfortunately I think he's right.....But here's to Pony Power.

/no dog in the race
 
2014-01-31 11:29:33 AM
Broncos have never lost to a bird team in the Super Bowl (1-0 over Falcons). They are 1-4 against humanoid based foes (Packers, Giants, Cowboys, 49ers, Redskins).

Ironclad logic that the Broncos will win this year.
 
2014-01-31 11:37:22 AM

CapnPlaty: Broncos have never lost to a bird team in the Super Bowl (1-0 over Falcons). They are 1-4 against humanoid based foes (Packers, Giants, Cowboys, 49ers, Redskins).

Ironclad logic that the Broncos will win this year.


Oh yeah? Well, the Seahawks have never - never! - lost a Superbowl to any team based west of the Mississippi River. Trust me, we've got this in the bag.
 
2014-01-31 11:44:19 AM

wiseolddude: Past performance of anything doesn't mean that future performance will be the same. I do think the Seahawks will win easily though. Denver hasn't seen a defense like this all year. Get Manning out of the pocket and out of red zone, and Denver will struggle.


...said the Kansas City Chiefs (twice).
 
2014-01-31 11:45:24 AM

BMulligan: Oh yeah? Well, the Seahawks have never - never! - lost a Superbowl to any team based west of the Mississippi River. Trust me, we've got this in the bag.


I know a thing or two about research, and your sampling data is far too small to draw a conclusion like that!  Your hypothesis would never... never survive peer review!
 
2014-01-31 11:50:03 AM

CapnPlaty: BMulligan: Oh yeah? Well, the Seahawks have never - never! - lost a Superbowl to any team based west of the Mississippi River. Trust me, we've got this in the bag.

I know a thing or two about research, and your sampling data is far too small to draw a conclusion like that!  Your hypothesis would never... never survive peer review!


According to the Chinese New Year, today starts THE YEAR OF THE HORSE.

Fact.
 
2014-01-31 11:50:45 AM

CapnPlaty: BMulligan: Oh yeah? Well, the Seahawks have never - never! - lost a Superbowl to any team based west of the Mississippi River. Trust me, we've got this in the bag.

I know a thing or two about research, and your sampling data is far too small to draw a conclusion like that!  Your hypothesis would never... never survive peer review!


You're nuts. Look at it this way - after this weekend, the Seahawks will have played in one out of every 24 Superbowls ever played. There are 32 NFL teams, so if anything these data represent a 50% oversampling. Are you completely unfamiliar with sports math?
 
2014-01-31 11:52:23 AM

wiseolddude: I do think the Seahawks will win easily though.


Don't jinx it, but I feel better about the DEN matchup than a I did the NO or SF matchups.  SEA has the clear edge in the overall matchup: better defense and special teams.  I expect Manning to make a Herculean effort, but I do think his D may break down with Harvin in, and the special teams may make a few mistakes.  And, I just don't know about DEN's offense: we haven't really seen them play many top half defenses this year.  They've done a great job slapping around shiatty Ds.  Maybe it's because their offense is just that awesome, or maybe it's because this year's schedule has been filled with shiatty Ds.  Dunno.

So long as Seattle doesn't give the ball away, I think they could lock this one down.
 
2014-01-31 12:02:54 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: wiseolddude: I do think the Seahawks will win easily though.

Don't jinx it, but I feel better about the DEN matchup than a I did the NO or SF matchups.  SEA has the clear edge in the overall matchup: better defense and special teams.  I expect Manning to make a Herculean effort, but I do think his D may break down with Harvin in, and the special teams may make a few mistakes.  And, I just don't know about DEN's offense: we haven't really seen them play many top half defenses this year.  They've done a great job slapping around shiatty Ds.  Maybe it's because their offense is just that awesome, or maybe it's because this year's schedule has been filled with shiatty Ds.  Dunno.

So long as Seattle doesn't give the ball away, I think they could lock this one down.


Eh, the Denver offense is legit. No one disputes that. The real test will be the Seattle offense vs. the Denver defense.  Can the Hawks keep Manning off the field? Can Lynch get his yards?  If not, which is entirely possible considering Denver's recent defensive surge vs. the rush, Seattle is in for an intolerably long day.
 
2014-01-31 12:08:58 PM
I think Seattle has it easily. As long as they don't monkey around with their simple defensive plans, they'll make the Denver receivers look like a bunch of baboons.  Plus, the gorillas they have on the D-line will shred the Denver front. Book it.  Seahawks Super Bowl XVLII Chimps.
 
2014-01-31 12:16:01 PM
cbssports.com
 
2014-01-31 12:19:52 PM

TonnageVT: pffft, amateur. Try this on a global scale...

[i.huffpost.com image 850x617]


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-31 12:26:17 PM

Skleenar: I think Seattle has it easily. As long as they don't monkey around with their simple defensive plans, they'll make the Denver receivers look like a bunch of baboons.  Plus, the gorillas they have on the D-line will shred the Denver front. Book it.  Seahawks Super Bowl XVLII Chimps.


Seattle can suck macaque.  Go Broncos.
 
2014-01-31 12:27:55 PM

dittybopper: Start with, say, 1,000 animals.

half of them will get the first one right, and half will get all the subsequent ones right, so this would be the progression of "correct" guesses (rounded down):

1. 500
2. 250
3. 125
4. 62
5. 31
6. 15
7. 7
8. 3
9. 1

You could point to that last animal and say "Gorgo here has predicted the last *9* superbowls correctly! The odds of that happening are 1,000 to 1! I'll give you 10 to 1 odds that he is [correct|incorrect] this year!".  And everyone who has never taken Statistics 101 would fall for it.


Yup.  Plus, every year all your loser animals that didn't pick every Super Bowl just keep picking.  This virtually assures a steady stream of "[Random animal] has picked the last [X] Super Bowls correctly!".  No one will ask how Bobo was doing 10 Super Bowls ago when he's picked the last 9 correctly, or how your other 999 animals are doing lately.
 
2014-01-31 12:36:51 PM

Wadded Beef: Eh, the Denver offense is legit. No one disputes that. The real test will be the Seattle offense vs. the Denver defense. Can the Hawks keep Manning off the field? Can Lynch get his yards? If not, which is entirely possible considering Denver's recent defensive surge vs. the rush, Seattle is in for an intolerably long day.


Denver has had a defensive surge?  They shut down two teams in the playoffs that just didn't have very good offenses.  I don't have many concerns about them stopping Lynch or Wilson.  And people keep forgetting about Harvin.  The Denver secondary is already suspect.  Having to put someone on Harvin might stretch them to the breaking point.

\Wilson throws a beautiful deep ball
 
2014-01-31 12:44:38 PM
Seattle led the league in scoring defense, total defense, pass defense and interceptions. Add in Percy Harvin and I say the Seahawks will win.
 
2014-01-31 12:45:53 PM
Thanks a lot Ape for jinxing my Hawks.

I trust Lisa Simpson
 
2014-01-31 12:47:23 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Wadded Beef: Eh, the Denver offense is legit. No one disputes that. The real test will be the Seattle offense vs. the Denver defense. Can the Hawks keep Manning off the field? Can Lynch get his yards? If not, which is entirely possible considering Denver's recent defensive surge vs. the rush, Seattle is in for an intolerably long day.

Denver has had a defensive surge?  They shut down two teams in the playoffs that just didn't have very good offenses.  I don't have many concerns about them stopping Lynch or Wilson.  And people keep forgetting about Harvin.  The Denver secondary is already suspect.  Having to put someone on Harvin might stretch them to the breaking point.



There we go! Something to add to the list:

Manning had neck surgery. One hit and he's done.
He signed with Denver? They have no talent there.
Peyton's arm is dead.  Forget him.
The Denver defense is awful.
Kansas City's defense is going to crush Manning.
Peyton can't win in cold weather.
No way Denver beats Kansas City and their D twice.
Von Miller is on IR so cross-off the Broncos.
Peyton always loses early in the playoffs.
Peyton has a losing record in the playoffs so the Broncos can't advance.
The Chargers own Peyton historically.
San Diego and Rivers won in Denver in week 15 so they know how to beat the Broncos.
No way Denver stops the Chargers rushing attack.
Chris Harris is on IR so cross-off the Broncos.
New England came back to beat Denver in Foxboro in week 12 so they know how to beat the Broncos.
Manning can't beat Brady.
LaGarrette Blount is going to roll the Denver D.
Denver's receivers are soft.
No way Denver's defense keeps the Patriots under 30.


Denver's recent defensive surge is negligible.
 
2014-01-31 01:04:38 PM

wiseolddude: Seattle led the league in scoring defense, total defense, pass defense and interceptions. Add in Percy Harvin and I say the Seahawks will win.


Percy Harvin plays defense?

/one of these things don't belong
 
2014-01-31 01:08:53 PM

wiseolddude: Add in Percy Harvin


Yeah, add in Percy Harvin... until he gets hurt again after 5 plays.
 
2014-01-31 01:10:12 PM

lennavan: Seattle can suck macaque. Go Broncos.



Sorry....your ass ponies are going down.
 
2014-01-31 01:15:45 PM

The_Sponge: lennavan: Seattle can suck macaque. Go Broncos.


Sorry....your ass ponies are going down.


i280.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-31 01:17:54 PM

Wadded Beef: Denver's recent defensive surge is negligible.


So ... what has changed, outside of the lack of quality of their most recent opponents?  The Pats were held together with duct tape (and, with a few better Brady passes, may have beaten the Broncs), and the Chargers didn't even have a RB.
 
2014-01-31 01:28:17 PM

The_Sponge: lennavan: Seattle can suck macaque. Go Broncos.


Sorry....your ass ponies are going down.


That was not a monkey joke.  I will only be responding to jokes and questions about monkeys.  Or hair.
 
2014-01-31 01:41:52 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Wadded Beef: Eh, the Denver offense is legit. No one disputes that. The real test will be the Seattle offense vs. the Denver defense. Can the Hawks keep Manning off the field? Can Lynch get his yards? If not, which is entirely possible considering Denver's recent defensive surge vs. the rush, Seattle is in for an intolerably long day.

Denver has had a defensive surge?  They shut down two teams in the playoffs that just didn't have very good offenses.  I don't have many concerns about them stopping Lynch or Wilson.  And people keep forgetting about Harvin.  The Denver secondary is already suspect.  Having to put someone on Harvin might stretch them to the breaking point.

\Wilson throws a beautiful deep ball


By DVOA, NE is the 4th best offense in the NFL.  SD is the 3rd.  Seattle is the 7th.  If you look at pass offense, NE is 7th, SD is 2nd and Seattle is 8th.  If you look at rushing, NE is 7th, SD is 12th and Seattle is 7th.  NE's offense beats Seattle's out in total, pass and rush.

Harvin is a decent receiver, but the exaggerations of his abilities are far more extreme than those of Manning's.  He's never had a 1,000 yard season or scored more than 6 TDs in a season.  He's not the kind of transformative player you seem to think he is.  His numbers are more in line with what you would expect from a solid #2 than a true #1 receiver (if he had repeated his previous best this year, he would have been the 26th best receiver in the league).  Edelman is probably a bigger threat than he is and the Broncos kept him in line just fine until garbage time.
 
Displayed 50 of 100 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report