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(Onion AV Club)   A look at the people responsible for writing SyFy channel original movies like Sharknado and Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark   (avclub.com) divider line 23
    More: Sad, mega shark, Sharknado, Mecha Shark, The Asylum, Sphinx, production house, Debbie Gibson, movie screens  
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2562 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jan 2014 at 2:52 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-31 12:16:37 AM  
Still no word on how Damon Lindelof keeps getting work.
 
2014-01-31 12:37:02 AM  
Atlantic Rim.... That is all
 
2014-01-31 03:07:01 AM  
I am waiting for the reboot of Jaws... only this time it is tolx from the shark's perspective, as hundreds of hollywood execs and studio heads try to jump over him on waterskis...
 
2014-01-31 04:20:49 AM  
I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.
 
2014-01-31 04:24:36 AM  
I'm disappointed his name isn't CMOT Dibbler.
 
2014-01-31 05:31:16 AM  
The Asylum has never lost money on any film they've made. This screenwriter churns out a first draft in about 4 days. As long as The Asylum keeps calling this guy in to do rush script jobs, he's going to keep collecting a paycheck.

And it's not like he's delusional, he knows he's writing bullshiat B-movies. But if that's what he does to pay the bills, so what? As long as he holds no illusions that he's somehow creating the next Citizen Kane, he seems like any other person doing what they enjoy doing, and getting paid to do so. Most of us can't say the same about our shiatty jobs.
 
2014-01-31 05:38:34 AM  

ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.


There isn't anything sad about it at all. Shiat, John Sayles, James Cameron, Francis Coppola, Jack NIcholson, Peter Fonda, Martin Scorsese, and a shiat ton of big name actors all have at least one silly, stupid, or flat out weird low budget horror flick like this on their resume.

These kinds of movies are film school for the non-pretentious. The ones that want to do the work. The ones that don't have a famous uncle to plug them into the Hollywood scene. They teach a lot about learning the structure and working within limited resources.

Learning how to do what you like and making a few bucks to support your family is a hell of a lot better than whining from Mom's basement that no one is interested in your Star Trek fanfic.
 
2014-01-31 05:43:53 AM  

stoli n coke: Learning how to do what you like and making a few bucks to support your family is a hell of a lot better than whining from Mom's basement that no one is interested in your Star Trek fanfic.


Don't let the farkers in the Star Trek threads know that. Their brilliant* ideas to return Star Trek to its former glory will be read and taken seriously any day now. And then they'll be the ones laughing at you from the mountain of cash, hookers, and blow they live on top of.

*according to real Star Trek fans, if you hate their idea then you hate Star Trek and therefore noone cares what you think
 
2014-01-31 06:58:33 AM  

ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.


I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.
 
2014-01-31 07:42:19 AM  

MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.



What's wrong with Ed Wood? Despite the obvious technical shortcomings, you can tell in his movies that everyone involved is just goddamn giddy that they are getting to make a movie. It's like those old episodes of the Little Rascals where the kids just decide to put on a show. It's not great cinema, but there is a huge sense of joy on every frame.

Syfy wants original programming, but they don't have the money to throw at big budget space epics. That's where The Asylum comes in. They deliver the old school-style Roger Corman flicks. And I seriously doubt that any of their movies are preventing the next Kubrick from being discovered. They have an audience, and that's fine. Plus, some of those movies bring back memories of the old childhood arguments, like who would win in a fight between Jaws and Godzilla.

You know, the exact same argument the Avengers was based around. Only difference is that one got a pass because of a $200 million budget, Joss Whedon, and comic books.
 
2014-01-31 07:45:02 AM  
www.gq.com

what SyFy originals writers might look like
 
2014-01-31 07:47:07 AM  
Is the answer America's Greatest Heroes?
 
2014-01-31 08:03:44 AM  

stoli n coke: MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.


What's wrong with Ed Wood? Despite the obvious technical shortcomings, you can tell in his movies that everyone involved is just goddamn giddy that they are getting to make a movie. It's like those old episodes of the Little Rascals where the kids just decide to put on a show. It's not great cinema, but there is a huge sense of joy on every frame.

Syfy wants original programming, but they don't have the money to throw at big budget space epics. That's where The Asylum comes in. They deliver the old school-style Roger Corman flicks. And I seriously doubt that any of their movies are preventing the next Kubrick from being discovered. They have an audience, and that's fine. Plus, some of those movies bring back memories of the old childhood arguments, like who would win in a fight between Jaws and Godzilla.

You know, the exact same argument the Avengers was based around. Only difference is that one got a pass because of a $200 million budget, Joss Whedon, and comic books.


That's fine if they want to go the lowest common denominator route. It's cheap and easy, and pulls in some ratings. It's still sad that they're increasingly hedging their bets on schlock they hope gets some laughs instead finding the next BSG.

And comparing Sharknado to Avengers? Ok.
 
2014-01-31 08:16:14 AM  

MayoSlather: stoli n coke: MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.


What's wrong with Ed Wood? Despite the obvious technical shortcomings, you can tell in his movies that everyone involved is just goddamn giddy that they are getting to make a movie. It's like those old episodes of the Little Rascals where the kids just decide to put on a show. It's not great cinema, but there is a huge sense of joy on every frame.

Syfy wants original programming, but they don't have the money to throw at big budget space epics. That's where The Asylum comes in. They deliver the old school-style Roger Corman flicks. And I seriously doubt that any of their movies are preventing the next Kubrick from being discovered. They have an audience, and that's fine. Plus, some of those movies bring back memories of the old childhood arguments, like who would win in a fight between Jaws and Godzilla.

You know, the exact same argument the Avengers was based around. Only difference is that one got a pass because of a $200 million budget, Joss Whedon, and comic books.

That's fine if they want to go the lowest common denominator route. It's cheap and easy, and pulls in some ratings. It's still sad that they're increasingly hedging their bets on schlock they hope gets some laughs instead finding the next BSG.

And comparing Sharknado to Avengers? Ok.



You're telling me Avengers had a plot beyond "Who would win in a fight? This guy or this guy?"

"Now who's being naive, Kay?"
-Quote taken from someone who came up doing the exact kind of "lowest common demoninator" flicks that put a bee in your bonnet.
 
2014-01-31 08:21:29 AM  
The thing is all networks need cheap filler. Networks call it game shows, or reality TV. SyFy fills in with schlock films.

There is also a nostalgia among those of us of a certain age who used to turn on after cartoons ended and watch the Radiation Theater or Chiller Cinema or Creature Feature on some UHF station that always had some awful 50's sci fi flick about some oversized X critter running loose and only the plucky local sheriff who doesn't want to panic the local population and the conviently located scientist who is an expert on this exact thing. The Asylum films carry that torch of B movie-dom.

/ When you got lucky Creature Feature theater has an old universal monster film on.
// Grasshoppers on postcard in Beginning of the End is the worst effects shot ever
 
2014-01-31 08:27:14 AM  

stoli n coke: MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.


What's wrong with Ed Wood? Despite the obvious technical shortcomings, you can tell in his movies that everyone involved is just goddamn giddy that they are getting to make a movie. It's like those old episodes of the Little Rascals where the kids just decide to put on a show. It's not great cinema, but there is a huge sense of joy on every frame.

Syfy wants original programming, but they don't have the money to throw at big budget space epics. That's where The Asylum comes in. They deliver the old school-style Roger Corman flicks. And I seriously doubt that any of their movies are preventing the next Kubrick from being discovered. They have an audience, and that's fine. Plus, some of those movies bring back memories of the old childhood arguments, like who would win in a fight between Jaws and Godzilla.

You know, the exact same argument the Avengers was based around. Only difference is that one got a pass because of a $200 million budget, Joss Whedon, and comic books.


Since the former is involved, it actually increases the likelyhood of the latter.
 
2014-01-31 08:42:17 AM  

dalbuc: The thing is all networks need cheap filler. Networks call it game shows, or reality TV. SyFy fills in with schlock films.

There is also a nostalgia among those of us of a certain age who used to turn on after cartoons ended and watch the Radiation Theater or Chiller Cinema or Creature Feature on some UHF station that always had some awful 50's sci fi flick about some oversized X critter running loose and only the plucky local sheriff who doesn't want to panic the local population and the conviently located scientist who is an expert on this exact thing. The Asylum films carry that torch of B movie-dom.

/ When you got lucky Creature Feature theater has an old universal monster film on.
// Grasshoppers on postcard in Beginning of the End is the worst effects shot ever



The independent UHF station where I lived alternated between creature features, kung fu movies, and really low budget detective movies (basically, the Charles Bronson movies that weren't Death Wish or Mr. Majestyk.) Not great, but not a bad way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Personally, I wish TNT still showed Monstervision.
 
2014-01-31 08:57:21 AM  

stoli n coke: MayoSlather: stoli n coke: MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.


What's wrong with Ed Wood? Despite the obvious technical shortcomings, you can tell in his movies that everyone involved is just goddamn giddy that they are getting to make a movie. It's like those old episodes of the Little Rascals where the kids just decide to put on a show. It's not great cinema, but there is a huge sense of joy on every frame.

Syfy wants original programming, but they don't have the money to throw at big budget space epics. That's where The Asylum comes in. They deliver the old school-style Roger Corman flicks. And I seriously doubt that any of their movies are preventing the next Kubrick from being discovered. They have an audience, and that's fine. Plus, some of those movies bring back memories of the old childhood arguments, like who would win in a fight between Jaws and Godzilla.

You know, the exact same argument the Avengers was based around. Only difference is that one got a pass because of a $200 million budget, Joss Whedon, and comic books.

That's fine if they want to go the lowest common denominator route. It's cheap and easy, and pulls in some ratings. It's still sad that they're increasingly hedging their bets on schlock they hope gets some laughs instead finding the next BSG.

And comparing Sharknado to Avengers? Ok.


You're telling me Avengers had a plot beyond "Who would win in a fight? This guy or this guy?"

"Now who's being naive, Kay?"
-Quote taken from someone who came up doing the exact kind of "lowest common denominator" flicks that put a bee in your bonnet.


You know this is disingenuous. Avengers was action/popcorn flick with high production values, and despite not being high minded intellectual fare, it was at least unironically engaging despite its flaws. It wasn't in the vein of let's create a B movie so outlandish that it will rival Troll 2, and on that note those types of movies are better when they come about organically anyways.

There's simply no real comparison to be had here.
 
2014-01-31 09:28:24 AM  
I am a fan of the Asylum knockoff movies.  For some reason I get more enjoyment from watching that than most of the movies they are ripping off.  The giant monster/shark/storm movies though get a pass, those are impossible to watch.

/I have never been known for my taste in movies
 
2014-01-31 10:14:36 AM  

MayoSlather: ongbok: I don't see what is sad about it. Not every thing is supposed to be a work of art for the ages. There is a place for movies like this, and if they weren't making somebody a pocketful of money they wouldn't be continuously being made.

I think it's sad that there is real talent out there being ignored in favor of Ed Wood 2.0.


Quoted Roger Corman's wiki:

"A number of noted film directors worked with Corman, usually early in their careers, including  Francis Ford Coppola, Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, Peter Bogdanovich, Armondo Linus Acosta, Paul Bartel, Jonathan Demme, Donald G. Jackson, Gale Anne Hurd, Carl Colpaert, Joe Dante, James Cameron, John Sayles, Monte Hellman, George Armitage, Jonathan Kaplan, George Hickenlooper, Curtis Hanson, Jack Hill, Robert Towne, Michael Venzor and Timur Bekmambetov."

I think some of those names could be called real talent. And Corman basically made slightly better schlock than Asylum does now.
 
2014-01-31 12:28:19 PM  
That was interesting.
It shows the whole thing to be as stupid as I thought it was, so that's nice.
 
2014-01-31 03:40:04 PM  
So in my mind, I go, "Well, how would I make this movie?" The number one question is, "How do I make this organic?"

That's rich.
 
2014-01-31 05:15:38 PM  
I'd love to know what these hacks actually make for a script. If it's enough I might cheapen myself to try it.
 
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