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(Breitbart.com)   Those Girl Scout cookies you just bought are funding gay communist locust abortion technicians who grind up crying bald eagles for the FEMA camp feed lots   (breitbart.com) divider line 226
    More: Scary, FEMA, Girl Scout cookie, Samoa, abortions, technicians, pro-life, Kathleen Sebelius  
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2626 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Jan 2014 at 6:01 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-30 04:32:00 PM
I just ordered two boxes of Benghazis -- they're round whitebread with cherry jelly in the middle, and 100% halal!

There's no such thing as a bad Butthole Surfers reference.
 
2014-01-30 04:32:56 PM
This news is extremely distressing. I only ordered four boxes. I will now need to find a means of purchasing more.
 
2014-01-30 04:37:00 PM
Yeah, but are they Gluten free?
 
2014-01-30 04:37:22 PM
The Girl Scouts also claims that no cookie money goes to any other group. However, Girl Scouts USA makes an annual donation of $1.5 million to the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts, a group on record as supporting reproductive health and rights for its members.

O.M.G.

/Doubling my order of Caramel deLites this year
 
2014-01-30 04:38:08 PM
Seriously?  They're up in arms because they called Wendy Davis a strong woman?  I've got news for you, whether you love hate or don't care about her politics, she took a farking stand and stuck to her guns.  She's got some big brass lady balls.

/Samoas FTW
 
2014-01-30 04:38:50 PM
I don't buy them because it's a scam and the troops get very little money in return for the effort.  You'd do better to donate directly to a local troop.

So now I have a FU Teabagger dilemma.

Plus I never buy cookies of any sort, period.
 
2014-01-30 04:40:08 PM

nekom: Seriously?  They're up in arms because they called Wendy Davis a strong woman?  I've got news for you, whether you love hate or don't care about her politics, she took a farking stand and stuck to her guns.  She's got some big brass lady balls.

/Samoas FTW


Those are my favorites.  I have a mock up recipe, but they're a pain in the ass.
 
2014-01-30 04:40:16 PM
Who gives a fark.  they're delicious!
 
2014-01-30 04:40:24 PM

Diogenes: I don't buy them because it's a scam and the troops get very little money in return for the effort.  You'd do better to donate directly to a local troop.


First part not exactly, second part yes true.  It could also be argued that it teaches them about economics or something.  I don't know, they're farking delicious so there's that.  Support your local troop, it is a very good program.
 
2014-01-30 04:41:11 PM
The boyscouts are mostly run by the mormon church at this point, Ive shifted my donations and efforts towards the girlscouts for this very reason.
 
2014-01-30 04:42:08 PM
Yup. The Girl Scouts are farking awesome.

While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

TEAM PURPLE BOX!!

/Girl Scout
 
2014-01-30 04:42:34 PM

ManateeGag: Who gives a fark.  they're delicious!


Dude!  It's little girls we're talking about!
 
2014-01-30 04:43:24 PM

Dimensio: This news is extremely distressing. I only ordered four boxes. I will now need to find a means of purchasing more.


I've got two boxes ordered, will have to order more now.
 
2014-01-30 04:45:15 PM
what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.
 
2014-01-30 04:45:33 PM
Ah, yes, the ol' 'Let's-hurt-these-kids-to-show-how-we're-against-hurting-kids' gambit. Bold move, Cotton. Let's see how it works out for them.
 
2014-01-30 04:46:21 PM
what_now:

TEAM PURPLE BOX!!

I thought they were pink?
 
2014-01-30 04:47:51 PM
I learned a lot selling Girl Scout cookies, but of course this was in the 80s when you could go door to door and not freak out about child molesters.

You can sell them individual pre- order or buy a ton and sell them that way.   One year, one of the moms ordered more of the stupid Do-si-dos (the stupid yellow box) than Samoas (which are the best) and we had to hustle to get rid of them AND find a way to get more Samoas because those are by far the best money makers.

We learned about Supply and Demand and double checking your orders that year.
 
2014-01-30 04:48:27 PM

nekom: Seriously?  They're up in arms because they called Wendy Davis a strong woman?  I've got news for you, whether you love hate or don't care about her politics, she took a farking stand and stuck to her guns.  She's got some big brass lady balls.

/Samoas FTW


According to TFA, they called her an "incredible woman", not strong.  Taken literally, you'd think these guys would agree with that label.  "not credible", what with lying about her age etc...

Anyhow, I thought the cookies tasted better this year.  Might have been because the local troops switched from Caramel DeLites to Samoas, but now I like to thnk it's because of the sweet bald eagle tears.
 
2014-01-30 04:48:33 PM

nekom: I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.


My soapbox derby car used fuel cells and they banned me from competition.
 
2014-01-30 04:48:41 PM

nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.


The saddest thing is individual troops are punished by the inane actions of its leaders. My troop was awesome. Our scoutmaster was a lesbian, we had 3 gay guys in our troop, and everyone just wanted to have fun and camp. I am still proud to say I'm an Eagle Scout, but I am quick to say I don't agree with what the BSA leadership has been doing.
 
2014-01-30 04:48:54 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Yeah, but are they Gluten free?


You're in luck!
 
2014-01-30 04:49:33 PM
....did you know you can buy Girl Scout cookies on ebay?
 
2014-01-30 04:50:28 PM

Diogenes: ManateeGag: Who gives a fark.  they're delicious!

Dude!  It's little girls we're talking about!


seasoned just right, they make a nice stew.
 
2014-01-30 04:51:59 PM

Codenamechaz: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Yeah, but are they Gluten free?

You're in luck!


Horray! Gay communist locust abortions for everyone!

Except Steve.
F*ck Steve.
 
2014-01-30 04:52:15 PM
Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.
 
2014-01-30 04:52:42 PM

what_now: I learned a lot selling Girl Scout cookies, but of course this was in the 80s when you could go door to door and not freak out about child molesters.


We can still do that here, in town.  Better still the local businesses seem to love to help them out.  Sold some with a strategically placed order sheet in the front office and there are two stores that agreed to let her troop sell them there.  Yes, it's a giant PITA and it's not the most effective way to get money for the troop but it's just kind of what you do when you have a daughter.  I remember the boy scouts had those... tom watt maybe? kits and popcorn, same deal.
 
2014-01-30 04:54:41 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.


who saves Thin Mints that long?   they'd be lucky to last 6 hours in my house.

/yes, I'm fat.
 
2014-01-30 04:55:34 PM

ManateeGag: ecmoRandomNumbers: Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.

who saves Thin Mints that long?   they'd be lucky to last 6 hours in my house.

/yes, I'm fat.


Not everyone eats as slowly as you.

/Consumes a box in less than one hour.
 
2014-01-30 04:57:04 PM
The Boy and I bought a box of Samoas last weekend and they lasted....about an hour. :(
 
2014-01-30 04:57:22 PM

nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.


So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?
 
2014-01-30 05:02:57 PM

Dimensio: ManateeGag: ecmoRandomNumbers: Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.

who saves Thin Mints that long?   they'd be lucky to last 6 hours in my house.

/yes, I'm fat.

Not everyone eats as slowly as you.

/Consumes a box in less than one hour.


When the Girl Scouts set up their card table at the grocery store I buy three boxes of Thin Mints on the way out, and eat one box on the way home.  When I get home I announce, "Hey, look, I bought two boxes of Thin Mints!" and no one is the wiser.

/not remotely as fat as I sound
 
2014-01-30 05:03:48 PM
Awesome
 
2014-01-30 05:04:18 PM
dr_blasto:
So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?

Crafts, community service projects, geocaching, all kinds of little things.  No religious stuff, at least none in her troop.  All kinds of different badges they can earn, my kiddo really enjoys it.
 
2014-01-30 05:08:19 PM

dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?


The girlscouts have no religious ties, they do not feel it is their place to educate their young members about religion as that is a personal matter best left to family.
 
2014-01-30 05:10:57 PM

dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?


They hand out birth control then get farked up on lean and scissor until dawn.

I think.
 
2014-01-30 05:12:13 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.


media.fooducate.com

Or just stop by your local Dollar General store.
 
2014-01-30 05:14:42 PM

dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?


http://www.girlscouts.org/gs_central/mpmf/faqs.asp#4

Q: Does Girl Scouting support families of faith?
A:
 Yes. Girl Scouting supports girls from all backgrounds and beliefs. While we are a secular organization that refrains from teaching religious or spiritual beliefs or practices, we believe that the motivating force in Girl Scouting is a spiritual one, and we greatly value our longstanding partnerships with religious organizations across many faiths that share the values of the Girl Scout Promise and Law.
We encourage girls to develop connections to their own spiritual and religious beliefs by earning recognitions provided by their faith communities and by earning the new My Promise, My Faith pin, which helps a girl deepen the connection between the Girl Scout Law and her faith. We support the right of faith leaders to verify that program delivered to girls in their places of worship is consistent with their faith's teachings.
 
2014-01-30 05:15:18 PM

what_now: I learned a lot selling Girl Scout cookies, but of course this was in the 80s when you could go door to door and not freak out about child molesters.


That just gave me the idea to go door-to-door looking for a Girl Scout to sell me cookies but I'm pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing. Too bad there's not a Girl Scout dispatcher to call for a mobile cookie unit. These threads make me hungry.
 
2014-01-30 05:17:41 PM
DrBenway:
That just gave me the idea to go door-to-door looking for a Girl Scout to sell me cookies but I'm pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing. Too bad there's not a Girl Scout dispatcher to call for a mobile cookie unit. These threads make me hungry.

http://www.girlscouts.org/program/gs_cookies/find_cookies.asp

Just plug in your zip code and find a troop selling them near you.
 
2014-01-30 05:18:40 PM

optikeye: ecmoRandomNumbers: Thin Mints freeze beautifully and you can enjoy them in the summer, long after the sales have stopped, and make your friends and family jealous while you snack on them out-of-season.

[media.fooducate.com image 180x180]

Or just stop by your local Dollar General store.


Your post makes me sad.
 
2014-01-30 05:20:03 PM
You're also supporting slave labor. And encouraging soccer moms to look at you like you're an asshole for not buying any when they bring them around the office every couple months.
 
2014-01-30 05:21:36 PM

dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?


Well, at 6 it's basically just about hanging out with other six year olds. All I remember from that age is how to sew on a button and to identify the difference between a Philips head and a regular screwdriver.

I'm sure we did more, but you didn't get into the cool stuff- knife skills, fire, camping, etc until you're at least 10-12
 
2014-01-30 05:23:03 PM

dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?


The Boy Scouts don't really have as much religious bullshiat as the homosexual agenda leads you to believe. At least not the troop I was in. You had to make an empty promise to "do your duty to god", but otherwise they couldn't care less. They officially allow gays now (though troops like the one I grew up in wouldn't have said anything even when it was disallowed).
I'm just saying, if you also have a son, don't be afraid to put him in scouts. He's not going to get brainwashed or anything.
 
2014-01-30 05:24:12 PM

serial_crusher: The Boy Scouts don't really have as much religious bullshiat as the homosexual agenda leads you to believe. At least not the troop I was in. You had to make an empty promise to "do your duty to god", but otherwise they couldn't care less. They officially allow gays now (though troops like the one I grew up in wouldn't have said anything even when it was disallowed).
I'm just saying, if you also have a son, don't be afraid to put him in scouts. He's not going to get brainwashed or anything.


This TOTALLY depends on the troop leader. I loved Girl Scouts because our troop leader was awesome. My niece hated it, because they sat around and watched reality TV and helped this soccer mom grocery shop.
 
2014-01-30 05:28:00 PM
I have four boxes left in the pantry. Whenever I pull out a box, I surround it with chicken bones and goats blood and say a satanic prayer before opening the box.

Gives them that extra flavor umph...
 
2014-01-30 05:28:34 PM

Tigger: dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?

They hand out birth control then get farked up on lean and scissor until dawn.

I think.


What's the birth control for, then?
 
2014-01-30 05:29:40 PM

mediablitz: I have four boxes left in the pantry. Whenever I pull out a box, I surround it with chicken bones and goats blood and say a satanic prayer before opening the box.

Gives them that extra flavor umph...


I store mine in dead black cats with some magnets and a few tarot cards.
 
2014-01-30 05:30:24 PM

dr_blasto: Tigger: dr_blasto: nekom: what_now:
While the Boy Scouts are Mormon owned homophobes struggling to tie their own neckerchiefs, the Girl Scouts are empowering girls and women.

Indeed, and it's a crying shame there isn't some better version of the boy scouts (or is there?).  I was in boy scouts and I don't remember any politics in it back then, no idea what it's like these days.  My 6 year old girl is in scouts and she gets a ton out of it.

So, I know I'm asking an internet guy this, but I have a 6-year-old daughter, I'm kind of curious what the Girl Scouts do. Do they have any of the religious bullsh*t the Boy Scouts are latched on to? What is it all about? What does a 6 year old get out of it?

They hand out birth control then get farked up on lean and scissor until dawn.

I think.

What's the birth control for, then?


No idea - do I look like a girl scout?
 
2014-01-30 05:31:50 PM

what_now: serial_crusher: The Boy Scouts don't really have as much religious bullshiat as the homosexual agenda leads you to believe. At least not the troop I was in. You had to make an empty promise to "do your duty to god", but otherwise they couldn't care less. They officially allow gays now (though troops like the one I grew up in wouldn't have said anything even when it was disallowed).
I'm just saying, if you also have a son, don't be afraid to put him in scouts. He's not going to get brainwashed or anything.

This TOTALLY depends on the troop leader. I loved Girl Scouts because our troop leader was awesome. My niece hated it, because they sat around and watched reality TV and helped this soccer mom grocery shop.


Do they do camping/adventure stuff at all?
 
2014-01-30 05:44:21 PM
When the Breitbart demographic dies off, the world will be a better place.
 
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