If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Palmer Report)   The only thing more asinine than petitions to deport Justin Bieber? Petitions to let him stay   (palmerreport.com) divider line 59
    More: Amusing, Justin Bieber, digital signatures, petitions  
•       •       •

2003 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2014 at 4:37 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-30 04:39:35 PM  
Jesus Hasselhoff Christ, who gives a sh*t?
 
2014-01-30 04:40:41 PM  
I'd be happy if I could just forget the little snot ever existed.
 
2014-01-30 04:40:42 PM  
"In accordance with its policies stating that any such petition filed on whitehouse.gov will be replied to if its digital signatures reach six figures."

I realize something's better than nothing, but...

THIS IS THE PROMISE THEY'RE KEEPING?!
 
2014-01-30 04:41:06 PM  
"Supernatural" actor said, "Just saw the mugshot of @justinbieber. I gotta admit, she's kinda hot without all of her usual makeup on."
 
2014-01-30 04:41:33 PM  
They should deport him.... for the crimes against humanity called his "music" I dont give 2 shiats about his drug use or egging the neighbor's house.
 
2014-01-30 04:42:02 PM  
Yes, but all the signers are from Canuckistan.
 
2014-01-30 04:42:33 PM  
Weapons of Mass Distraction
 
2014-01-30 04:43:31 PM  
Simple solution here. Find every person who signed that petition, then take away their right to vote.
 
2014-01-30 04:43:35 PM  
Cue Music

`Don't Stop Beliebing`
 
2014-01-30 04:44:51 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: "In accordance with its policies stating that any such petition filed on whitehouse.gov will be replied to if its digital signatures reach six figures."

I realize something's better than nothing, but...

THIS IS THE PROMISE THEY'RE KEEPING?!


No, they're breaking even this promise. There are a number of petitions that reached the required limits months and months back and have not been responded to.
 
2014-01-30 04:44:55 PM  

rjakobi: Simple solution here. Find every person who signed that petition, then take away their right to vote.


I'd suggest exile to Australia, but they don't like booger picking immigrants.
 
2014-01-30 04:46:23 PM  
www.bartcop.com
 
2014-01-30 04:47:50 PM  
It is futile to try to categorize anything having to do with Bieber as more or less asinine, subby.  The fact is that anything having to do with Justin Bieber is asinine, pure and simple.
 
2014-01-30 04:48:19 PM  
 "Panem et circenses"
 
2014-01-30 04:49:03 PM  

beefoe: Yes, but all the signers are from Canuckistan.


Or teenage girls
 
2014-01-30 04:49:23 PM  

beefoe: Yes, but all the signers are from Canuckistan.


Damn straight.  We don't want him back.
 
2014-01-30 04:50:33 PM  
If he was Latino, the right-wing wackos would be protesting in the streetstrailer park.
 
2014-01-30 04:50:56 PM  

SirEattonHogg:  "Panem et circenses"


THIS!

Too bad we're not Civus Romanus; we'd at least get crusty bread and gladiator fights out out of the deal.
 
2014-01-30 04:52:03 PM  
I'd like to see him deported just for the sweet, sweet, schadenfreude. My god, it would be glorious.

It won't happen, though. Not even the DUI would do it. Although if he's convicted of the egging thing, isn't that a felony offense?
 
2014-01-30 04:52:05 PM  
Here's the funny thing.   Saw this on CNN, of all places... but apparently there's a precedent of deporting celebrities from other countries who tend to get hauled into court too often.

So him getting sent back is entirely possible.
 
2014-01-30 04:53:22 PM  
While I understand that there are laws in place to do things like this, why the bloody HELL would anyone waste so much of everyone ELSE's time and money to go through with it?!

Is it really that big of a deal that he's here?
 
2014-01-30 04:53:46 PM  
The only thing more asinine than that is talking about the petitions...and Bieber's arrest...and his girlfriends...and his outfits...constantly on a site populated primarily by middle aged nerds who apparently hate him so much they can't stop farking talking about him.
 
2014-01-30 04:54:36 PM  

neversubmit: [www.bartcop.com image 672x672]


So... We can burn Bieber for fuel?
 
2014-01-30 04:54:47 PM  
What about a petition for implementing lethal injection?  That way, everyone wins.  Well, except the die-hard bieberettes.  They don't win, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to live with.
 
2014-01-30 04:54:49 PM  

Semper IvXx: The only thing more asinine than that is talking about the petitions...and Bieber's arrest...and his girlfriends...and his outfits...constantly on a site populated primarily by middle aged nerds who apparently hate him so much they can't stop farking talking about him.


such edge
much fedora
 
2014-01-30 04:55:00 PM  

SirEattonHogg: "Panem et circenses"


You want to put Bieber in a Hunger Games?

BRILLIANT!
 
2014-01-30 04:57:14 PM  

Cyclometh: I'd like to see him deported just for the sweet, sweet, schadenfreude. My god, it would be glorious.

It won't happen, though. Not even the DUI would do it. Although if he's convicted of the egging thing, isn't that a felony offense?


If they can get him on the destruction of property thing; it will probably be a felony. I forget the figure they stated; but, anything over a certain amount is a felony. Not sure what that number is where he is; but, here it's $1000.
 
2014-01-30 04:57:39 PM  
iheartscotch:
Too bad we're not Civus Romanus; we'd at least get crusty bread and gladiator fights out out of the deal.


I'd definitely enjoy a chariot race or gladiator fight over a Beiber performance.
 
2014-01-30 04:58:00 PM  
Yeah, and while we're at it, Alanis Morrisette!
assets.sbnation.com
 
2014-01-30 04:58:17 PM  
Can't you guys just give him a multi-year gig at Caesars, like you did for Celine Dion? Think of it as pay-back for all the Fark entertainment we give you.
 
2014-01-30 04:58:21 PM  
"Dear American Public, YOU bought his records. Obama"
 
2014-01-30 04:59:06 PM  
iheartscotch:

If they can get him on the destruction of property thing; it will probably be a felony. I forget the figure they stated; but, anything over a certain amount is a felony. Not sure what that number is where he is; but, here it's $1000.

I heard a figure of twenty grand being trotted about. I guess that must have been one expensive-ass facade on that guy's house.

Honestly, it'd be even funnier if they could just say "You know, you're not qualified under that special visa anymore, and really- you're just being an asshole, so.... yeah. Time to go."
 
2014-01-30 04:59:31 PM  
Good gravy. Deportation is a tad over the top, don't you think? If he gets convicted, make him serve his damn jail time. For real. None of this Paris Hilton "I served 35 minutes of a 90 day sentece" crap. Wesley Snipes did his time, so did Michael Vick. Let the little snot know that his celebrity status doesn't give him diplomatic immunity.

I know, I know. It will probably not happen. The gnashing and wailing of teenie bopper teeth would be cacophonous. I can just see the teenage daughter of the prosecuting attorney, judge, or one of the jurors... "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My daddy / mommy sent Justin Bieber to jail. OMG He's so cute I just love him and oh it's so unfair and...and...FREE BIEBER!"
 
2014-01-30 05:00:12 PM  
Get Dr Drew to put him on a new season of celebrity rehab. That usually solves the problem.
 
2014-01-30 05:02:08 PM  
Why iS Everyone YELLING?!
 
2014-01-30 05:03:49 PM  
How old is he now? Like, 19?

Hell, looking back on myself at 19 I couldn't even imagine the amount of sh*t I would've gotten myself into with his fame and wealth. I'm 34 and having the types of resources he has I'd definitely still manage to make a Fark headline or two.

Not defending him or his actions, just a fun thought exercise.
 
2014-01-30 05:04:32 PM  

digitalrain: SirEattonHogg: "Panem et circenses"

You want to put Bieber in a Hunger Games?

BRILLIANT!


~img293.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-30 05:04:45 PM  
BTW, he is back in Toronto - he turned himself in to the cops yesterday for previous assault incident. I can understand the confusion about trying to deport him from either country. Before too much longer he will be a refugee.
 
2014-01-30 05:07:14 PM  
Shut up and buy, buy ,buy....my new record! buy, buy, send more money, fark you buddy!

/Maynard
//your fatass dirty dollar
///never heard a single song of Bieber's
 
2014-01-30 05:18:25 PM  
Giving all Americans a way to engage their government on the issues that matter to them

I'm glad to see such pressing issues being given the attention they deserve. Because if there is one thing we need to worry about it is our pop culture and the entertainment industry in general generating mindless drivel for our society. 205,XXX people should be ashamed of themselves for signing this petition alone.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-30 05:37:42 PM  
This Just In: Obama Administration requires 1,000,000 signatures before action will be taken.
 
2014-01-30 05:43:43 PM  

SirEattonHogg: "Panem et circenses"


People are fascinated by train wrecks. Brittany Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton...
 
2014-01-30 05:46:43 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: I'd be happy if I could just forget the little snot ever existed.


Likewise however not if 10 million teenage screaming girls have anything do to about it!
 
2014-01-30 05:58:38 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: Pants full of macaroni!!: I'd be happy if I could just forget the little snot ever existed.

Likewise however not if 10 million teenage screaming girls have anything do to about it!



Meh, they'll find someone else to swoon over.  My grandmother told me about a Frank Sinatra concert she went to with some friends when she was a teenager. One of her friends swooned on the hood of the car when they hear his music outside on some speakers. Hell, what's his name (Tom Jones?) still get's women's underwear thrown at him when he's in concert.  Here's your image of the day: Imagine 50 years from now when that useless sack of shiate is in some concert somewhere and they throw granny panties at him.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon and vomit.
 
2014-01-30 05:58:45 PM  

SirEattonHogg:  "Panem et circenses"


People called Bieber, they go the 'ouse"?
 
2014-01-30 06:09:23 PM  

beefoe: Yes, but all the signers are from Canuckistan.

Yup, you're right.  How about this: straight up trade for a Mayor who has seen snow before?

 
2014-01-30 07:39:53 PM  
Someone probably mentioned this in a previous thread, but Leocal v. Ashcroft made drunk driving not a deportable aggravated felony anymore back in 2004. A petition doesn't change that.
 
2014-01-30 08:27:41 PM  

Farxist Marxist: I can understand the confusion about trying to deport him from either country.


He can't be deported from Canada.  He's a citizen.  Pretty much every other country can show him the door if he behaves poorly enough.
 
2014-01-30 08:29:56 PM  

rjakobi: Simple solution here. Find every person who signed that petition, then take away their right to vote.


Tenatra: 'm glad to see such pressing issues being given the attention they deserve. Because if there is one thing we need to worry about it is our pop culture and the entertainment industry in general generating mindless drivel for our society. 205,XXX people should be ashamed of themselves for signing this petition alone.


These.

This is why our political system is so farked up.  Issues like taxes, health care, and foreign policy are ignored by too many people, but goddammit when it comes to pop tarts, Americans are choosing sides and taking a stand!
 
2014-01-30 08:33:28 PM  

Radak: Farxist Marxist: I can understand the confusion about trying to deport him from either country.

He can't be deported from Canada.  He's a citizen.  Pretty much every other country can show him the door if he behaves poorly enough.


I guess you couldn't understand the humor of my comment. I know he's Canadian - so am I. I know perfectly well he can't be deported.
 
Displayed 50 of 59 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report