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(Foodbeast)   Cap'n Crunch's Sprinkled Donut Crunch Cereal. A million diets cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced   (foodbeast.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Cap'n Crunch, Donut Crunch, Froot Loops, oats, sprinkles, donuts  
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6279 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2014 at 3:06 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-30 12:00:02 AM  
5 votes:
The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.
2014-01-30 01:41:54 AM  
4 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: GreenAdder: The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.

This.  That stuff will flense your soft palate.

Whenever someone from work got a mixed dozen from Voodoo Doughnuts, the Cap'n Crunchberry Donut was always the last one left in the box for that very reason.

Weird; that's one of the main reasons I like Cap'n Crunch. It's like a loofah* for your mouth!

/pumice stone?


If you have callouses in your mouth there are bigger problems going on than which breakfast cereal to eat.
2014-01-30 03:14:42 AM  
3 votes:
Little Chocolate donuts, they've been on my training table since I was a kid.
2014-01-30 07:07:24 AM  
2 votes:
borgdotcom.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-30 06:33:14 AM  
2 votes:
Many pancreases died to bring us this part of a balanced breakfast.
2014-01-30 06:20:59 AM  
2 votes:
My mom was a bit progressive for a mom in the 70s. She barred all sugared cereals from the house. She convinced other moms to follow suit. The kids in the neighborhood hated her for a while.

When I attended college, the dorm's cafeteria stocked a cereal I had never seen before: Captain Crunch. Good God.

Oh to return to those days, return to a cold autumn morning with a blood-orange sun sparkling through a stand of old oak trees, walking quietly to class, thinking about Milton's fields and Spinoza's God-space, absolutely positvely jacked out of my crackling mind on coffee and Captain Crunch.
2014-01-30 01:16:45 AM  
2 votes:

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: GreenAdder: The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.

This.  That stuff will flense your soft palate.

Whenever someone from work got a mixed dozen from Voodoo Doughnuts, the Cap'n Crunchberry Donut was always the last one left in the box for that very reason.


Weird; that's one of the main reasons I like Cap'n Crunch. It's like a loofah* for your mouth!

/pumice stone?
2014-01-30 01:00:30 AM  
2 votes:
This is why I live in America. Good luck finding this cereal in France...
2014-01-30 12:31:18 AM  
2 votes:
2014-01-29 11:41:46 PM  
2 votes:
Send in 5 proof of purchases and receive a free insulin syringe
2014-01-29 11:39:04 PM  
2 votes:
I got fat just reading that headline.
2014-01-30 11:30:09 AM  
1 vote:

ongbok: I remember there was a powdered donuts cereal back in the 80's, can't remember the name.


The jingle "They are little, crisp and light / With a crunch in every bite/ New Donutz! They're dough-licious!" just returned from a thirty-year hiatus in my head
2014-01-30 09:26:13 AM  
1 vote:
I don't go in for all this processed breakfast cereal bs. it's just horrible that they can place it at eye level for the kids and claim its some sort of meal. That's why I only use real donuts in my breakfast cereal.
2014-01-30 08:18:39 AM  
1 vote:
static.fjcdn.com
/oblig
2014-01-30 08:16:13 AM  
1 vote:

Oldiron_79: Little Chocolate donuts, they've been on my training table since I was a kid.


They helped you win all those gold medals in Munich.
2014-01-30 08:01:33 AM  
1 vote:
jp8.r0tt.com

/British Smarties, which are more like M&Ms.
//pic is hot
///Slashies cereal?
2014-01-30 07:56:58 AM  
1 vote:

rjsjayhawk: devildog123: ReapTheChaos: Yet everyone blames fast food for making people fat. You want to know why america has an obesity problem, look no further than crap like this and your local grocery store.

No it isn't.  Overindulgence is.  I looked up the nutritional info.  If you ate 2 servings at once, it is only about 220 calories.  Add a cup of milk, you get about 350.  And that's with whole milk.  350 calories doesn't seem like a terrible breakfast.  An egg mcmuffin has 300 calories, not counting the hash browns.  The problem is people eating half a box at once, every day.

I disagree with you to an extent. Calories are good in the sense that they can be used to quantify the energy density of any given food.  However, the notion that one must count calories or take in less than one expends goes against everything that is known about biochemistry. Your body doesn't see food simply as calories. It sees it as the various macronutrients which make up the food you consume: namely sugar, fat, and protein. Your body metabolizes those three components in completely different ways.

If I were to eat a quarter pound worth of bacon, that would be on the order of around 800 calories, equivalent (by your reasoning) to eating 7-8 servings (~6 cups) of this particular cereal. But look at just one huge difference in the composition of that food: with the cereal I would be consuming around 160g of carbohydrates. With the bacon, zero. You think that the body is processing these two foods exactly the same, just because they have identical caloric content? That quarter pound of bacon won't even register with regard to insulin secretion, whereas the cereal will cause your pancreas to go into overdrive.

Additionally, being meat, the bacon will provide you with around 20g of protein, keeping your hunger levels down. The cereal, almost zero. After succumbing to the inevitable sugar crash, you'll be hungry again in no time.

And that's part of the real problem - we consume way too much sugar in everything that we eat. It's in everything available to us in the grocery store. Our bodies did not evolve in the presence of such unprecedented access to carbohydrates. Our genes have developed over time to efficiently utilize the proteins, fats, oils, and carbohydrates found in fruits/vegetables (and their associated high fiber contents, which prevent overconsumption).

So yes, you are right that overindulgence is part of the obesity problem. However, it is not overindulgence of calories. It is overindulgence of carbohydrate-rich foods. Isocaloric does not equal isometabolic.


So all-bacon diet is what you're saying, Dr. Atkins?

imokwiththis.jpg
2014-01-30 05:15:05 AM  
1 vote:

ArcadianRefugee: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: GreenAdder: The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.

This.  That stuff will flense your soft palate.

Whenever someone from work got a mixed dozen from Voodoo Doughnuts, the Cap'n Crunchberry Donut was always the last one left in the box for that very reason.

Weird; that's one of the main reasons I like Cap'n Crunch. It's like a loofah* for your mouth!

/pumice stone?


Falafel, not loofah. Damnit.
2014-01-30 04:47:19 AM  
1 vote:

ongbok: I remember there was a powdered donuts cereal back in the 80's, can't remember the name.


farm7.static.flickr.com
2014-01-30 04:01:41 AM  
1 vote:
Screw that, when are they going to bring back Cinnamon Crunch?
2014-01-30 03:59:22 AM  
1 vote:
GreenAdder:
The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.


I checked the Capn's crunchy nutrition label but found no mention of fiberglass leavings or diamond shards.  And yet I still lose a quart of blood with every bowl and still see a beam of light on my tongue when I stick a flashlight up my nose due to the hole this cereal bored through the roof of my mouth.

/totallyworthit.jpg
2014-01-30 01:12:02 AM  
1 vote:

God Is My Co-Pirate: GreenAdder: The roof!
The roof!
The roof of your mouth is going to experience a level of pain hitherto unknown by man.

This.  That stuff will flense your soft palate.


Whenever someone from work got a mixed dozen from Voodoo Doughnuts, the Cap'n Crunchberry Donut was always the last one left in the box for that very reason.
 
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