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(Yahoo)   Ted Cruz is sick of people calling attention to that thing he did to get everyone to pay attention to him   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Ted Cruz, government shutdown, texas senator, American Hustle, Big Boy, earnest  
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2544 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Jan 2014 at 10:02 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-29 10:03:48 AM  
 
2014-01-29 10:05:17 AM  
Again, when it comes time to bilk the teabaggers, he'll be talking up that moment like he's the greatest statesman that ever lived.
 
2014-01-29 10:05:54 AM  
"I didn't threaten to shut down the government the last time. I don't think we should ever shut down the government. I repeatedly voted to fund the federal government," Cruz said. "It was Harry Reid and President Obama."

Ah, yes.  That canard again.

"Look, I held a gun on the guy and he just kept refusing to hand over his wallet. If anything, it was his fault I shot him."

Party of personal responsibility yadda yadda.
 
2014-01-29 10:06:04 AM  
He's sick and tired of it huh?

Maybe he shouldn't have done it in the first place.

We should force him to wear a scarlet "S" to remind everyone about the shutdown whenever they see him.
 
2014-01-29 10:06:51 AM  
Ted Cruz is a flesh golem constructed of the miseries of modern humanity.
 
2014-01-29 10:07:04 AM  
Somebody just needs to mix some Nair in with his pomade, and then he'll be out of public view for a couple of months, guaranteed.
 
2014-01-29 10:07:23 AM  
Somewhere, in another dimension, the government shutdown caused the people of Bizzaromerica to turn on the Democrats and Ted Cruz is reminding everyone constantly that he's the reason for the government shutdown.
 
2014-01-29 10:07:56 AM  

Phil Moskowitz: Ted Cruz is a flesh golem constructed of the miseries of modern humanity.


I'm pretty sure he's just a mix of hubris, smarm, and unflavored gelatin.
 
2014-01-29 10:08:59 AM  
You fark one goat...
 
2014-01-29 10:09:38 AM  
What a useless fark stain.
 
2014-01-29 10:09:52 AM  
Good.
 
2014-01-29 10:10:48 AM  
Can we just stuff him back into his shiat-cocoon already?
 
2014-01-29 10:11:13 AM  
OWN IT YOU FRANCOPHONIC ROUND BACON EATING BASTARD!!!
 
2014-01-29 10:11:18 AM  
"It wasn't me, it was Harry Reid and Barack Obama! Really! WHY ISN'T ANYONE LISTENING TO ME"
 
2014-01-29 10:12:08 AM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.



My boss went to high school with him. He was a pretentious insufferable cock hole then, too. Remind me to impart the story of his valedictorian address while half his head was shaved from the party the night before.
 
2014-01-29 10:13:39 AM  
The Texas senator... said Tuesday that talk of the shutdown in 2014 amounts to nothing more than a 24 Billion dollar distraction.

FTFY, Raphael.
 
2014-01-29 10:13:57 AM  

Lord_Baull: Remind me to impart the story of his valedictorian address while half his head was shaved from the party the night before.


Hey man, I heard you had a story about Cruz delivering his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. You should share that some time.
 
2014-01-29 10:14:54 AM  
Ted Cruz farts then points at the dog.
 
2014-01-29 10:15:48 AM  
Awww, pobrecito.
 
2014-01-29 10:16:10 AM  
You can't step all over the American people while trying to climb your way to the top and expect it to just be forgotten.

Especially not when the few weirdos who liked it when you stepped on their faces won't shut up about it and won't stop using it as a point of fanatical endorsement.
 
2014-01-29 10:16:50 AM  
pumabydesign001.files.wordpress.com


He REALLY thought he could pin the shutdown on Obama. He is still trying to make that plan work.

The fact that the ACA passed and became law doesn't seem to matter to Ted "Government Shutdown" Cruz
 
2014-01-29 10:17:24 AM  

incendi: Lord_Baull: Remind me to impart the story of his valedictorian address while half his head was shaved from the party the night before.

Hey man, I heard you had a story about Cruz delivering his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. You should share that some time.



Sure! Cruz delivered his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. True story AND cool story.
 
2014-01-29 10:17:48 AM  
What about that thing he didn't do, but says he will do, after 6 months and a boatload of lawyers, even though that thing only takes everyone else that does that thing 20 minutes.


static2.wikia.nocookie.net

//that thing
 
2014-01-29 10:18:00 AM  
It is a failure of our society and system of government that we cannot find a way to beat Ted Cruz with a hammer.
 
2014-01-29 10:20:00 AM  

Lord_Baull: Sure! Cruz delivered his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. True story AND cool story.


Really?! Cool true story, bro!
 
2014-01-29 10:21:52 AM  
How does a top debater do so poorly at politics?

He insanely believes the wrong things.

I used to think cruz didn't really believe his own shiat. But he makes far too many public mistakes for that to be the case. He is a true believer I think.
 
2014-01-29 10:22:14 AM  
It wasn't my fault the government shut down.  And now I am going to head on out, but on the way I will kick the air like this *kicks air* and if you get hurt, it is your fault!!!

24.media.tumblr.com

/not perfectly analogous but what oh well.
 
2014-01-29 10:22:24 AM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.


FTFA:
Debate weekends included Friday night parties that Cruz often attended, where he was remembered to be "sort of a stud" with girls on the debate circuit.

The "debate circuit"?!?  LOL
 
2014-01-29 10:22:31 AM  
It's your dishwashing liquid, Ted. You soak in it.
 
2014-01-29 10:22:32 AM  

SpectroBoy: [pumabydesign001.files.wordpress.com image 700x700]


He REALLY thought he could pin the shutdown on Obama. He is still trying to make that plan work.

The fact that the ACA passed and became law doesn't seem to matter to Ted "Government Shutdown" Cruz


I think it's cute how Republicans equate "Passed a law through both chambers and had it signed by the President" with "forcing it down our throats".

So happy Obama called out their 40+ votes to defund the thing.
 
2014-01-29 10:22:43 AM  
to be fair, ted cruz is a colossal asshole.
 
2014-01-29 10:24:20 AM  

Tigger: It is a failure of our society and system of government that we cannot find a way to beat Ted Cruz with a hammer.


Maybe I'm being a little too pragmatic here, but I see not being allowed to hit people with hammers as a good thing; sure, it prevents people from hitting people who richly deserve such brusque treatment, but it also forbids people from hammering each other for the wrong reasons.

The failure in our society and system of government is that such a smarmy shiat-sorceror got elected to a significant position in the first place.
 
2014-01-29 10:24:24 AM  
FTFA: "I understand that there are a lot of folks in the media that love to talk about the shutdown from four months ago. What we ought to be talking about is the fact that we have the lowest labor force participating in 30 years..."

Follow Up Question: Senator Cruz, by how much did your shutting down government jobs improve the labor participation rate?
 
2014-01-29 10:24:33 AM  

incendi: Lord_Baull: Sure! Cruz delivered his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. True story AND cool story.

Really?! Cool true story, bro!



That's not how I heard it. Apparently, he was drunk at a party the night before graduation and his friends shaved his half his head. The funny part is, he had to give the valedictorian address the next day!
 
2014-01-29 10:25:09 AM  

urbangirl: the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.

FTFA:
Debate weekends included Friday night parties that Cruz often attended, where he was remembered to be "sort of a stud" with girls on the debate circuit.

The "debate circuit"?!?  LOL


Now I don't claim to be an adonis, but if this is what gets the "debate circuit" all hot and bothered

media.salon.com

I would've been like Wilt Chamberlain out there.
 
2014-01-29 10:26:16 AM  
Canadian birth certificate
 
2014-01-29 10:27:38 AM  

urbangirl: the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.

FTFA:
Debate weekends included Friday night parties that Cruz often attended, where he was remembered to be "sort of a stud" with girls on the debate circuit.

The "debate circuit"?!?  LOL



He forced things down the girls' throats, then successfully argued it was their fault in the first place for not allowing his man bits to go up the pooper.
 
2014-01-29 10:27:43 AM  
Maybe he should just tell the Koch brothers to stop annoying him and to just go away.

On the other hand, they got the message and are just building his replacement, adding a little more time for β testing this go around.  Human Death Stars are a little more complicated.
 
2014-01-29 10:28:43 AM  

Crabs_Can_Polevault: Tigger: It is a failure of our society and system of government that we cannot find a way to beat Ted Cruz with a hammer.

Maybe I'm being a little too pragmatic here, but I see not being allowed to hit people with hammers as a good thing; sure, it prevents people from hitting people who richly deserve such brusque treatment, but it also forbids people from hammering each other for the wrong reasons.

The failure in our society and system of government is that such a smarmy shiat-sorceror got elected to a significant position in the first place.


Yes obviously there's a general reason for the prevention of hammer beatings; however this is clearly a case of compelling state interest.
 
2014-01-29 10:28:56 AM  
Amazing that I get to reuse this so often.

s7.postimg.org
 
2014-01-29 10:29:05 AM  
"He doesn't want the shutdown tied to his legacy."

That's nice. I want a pony.

Ted, for you I will reformulate Swallow's First Law: "If you don't want to be treated like a lying, contemptible sack of shiat, don't act like a lying, contemptible sack of shiat."
 
2014-01-29 10:29:09 AM  

Kevin72: Canadian birth certificate


Sorry, He comes in a buy one get one free package. David Frum and Ted Cruz are yours and they're non-refundable.
 
2014-01-29 10:30:12 AM  

Smackledorfer: How does a top debater do so poorly at politics?

He insanely believes the wrong things.

I used to think cruz didn't really believe his own shiat. But he makes far too many public mistakes for that to be the case. He is a true believer I think.


He's unconcerned about hypocrisy, falsehoods, and consequences.  He's seeing how easy it is to get away with it.  He thinks he can just hit a reset button whenever he wants.  And he might be right.  Because we allow them to get away with it.

Why exercise real debate and strategy muscles when you don't have to?  Does a grifter introspect that his or her pitch is dishonest, or do they simply rest assured that some dumbfark will buy it?

Ted knows exactly what he's doing.  Whether or not we allow him to succeed at it remains to be seen.
 
2014-01-29 10:30:28 AM  

Lord_Baull: incendi: Lord_Baull: Remind me to impart the story of his valedictorian address while half his head was shaved from the party the night before.

Hey man, I heard you had a story about Cruz delivering his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. You should share that some time.


Sure! Cruz delivered his valedictorian address with his head half-shaven from a party the night before. True story AND cool story.


But... why didn't he shave the rest of his head before going on stage? Wouldn't that look way better than just having half his hair? Does he have some sort of weird birthmark he's hiding? THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WANT ANSWERS!
 
2014-01-29 10:32:01 AM  
So are Republicans going to regret come election time that useless vote they had saying they really didn't want to fund the government after they did?
 
2014-01-29 10:32:01 AM  
If you voted for this shameless asshole, not only are you the problem, you're also a colossal rube.
 
2014-01-29 10:33:27 AM  
What we ought to be talking about is the fact that we have the lowest labor force participating in 30 years since 1978, that Obamacare has taken away more than 5 million people health insurance plans, that people are hurting, that income inequality has increased under the Obama agenda and that there is an abuse of power and lawlessness, Cruz said. "So, that's what we ought to be talking about. Efforts that distract from that conversation, I think are deliberate efforts of smoke and mirrors distracting from the questions coming from the American people."

and I can see that your new totally unnecessary abortion funding bill covers all of that.  Thanks, TED!
 
2014-01-29 10:33:56 AM  

urbangirl: the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.

FTFA:
Debate weekends included Friday night parties that Cruz often attended, where he was remembered to be "sort of a stud" with girls on the debate circuit.

The "debate circuit"?!?  LOL


How hard can it be to get with debate girls?  Debate was full of the nerdiest people in my school--and I don't say that lightly; I was in Knowledge Bowl and we partied harder than Debate.
 
2014-01-29 10:35:55 AM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: REMINDER: Ted Cruz was a pretentious insufferable asshole back when he was a freshman in college and he's still a pretentious insufferable asshole today.

"The Ted Cruz that I knew at 17 years old is exactly the same as the Ted Cruz I know at 42 years old. "


This is not a good thing!
My 17 year old self sucked. I'm almost 33. If I hadn't learned anything or changed at all in the interim 16 years, I would be a horrible person. My worldview has changed so much, I still cringe at some of the things I believed and said back then.
 
2014-01-29 10:36:18 AM  
I think Ted Cruz is like alot of Conservatives and really believed the shutdown would prevent ObamaCare from starting up. When that didn't happen, he literally had no idea what to do.

That's the price you pay for being willfully ignorant and stupid.
 
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