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(Biloxi Sun Herald)   Southern Baptist leaders to host three day sex summit in Nashville. Apparently it will be three straight days of missionaries talking about missionary   (sunherald.com) divider line 65
    More: Strange, Southern Baptist, Nashville, Southern Baptist leaders, Sun Herald, missionary, Russell Moore  
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2600 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2014 at 10:39 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-29 09:47:05 AM
Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.
 
2014-01-29 09:49:13 AM

Sybarite: Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.


There can't be that many male hookers in Nashville, can there?
 
2014-01-29 10:14:17 AM
If it weren't for my trusty Sherpa guide, I could have easily died during my sex summit.  Thankfully Lakpa and his faithful burro Clompy were able to drag my near lifeless body off the peaks of Dick Mountain.  I have no idea what happened afterwards as I lost consciousness in our basecamp tent but I still walk with a limp.
 
2014-01-29 10:41:19 AM
 This should create derp of extraordinary magnitude.
 
2014-01-29 10:42:22 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-29 10:42:37 AM
Why don't Baptists fark standing up? 'Cause it might lead to dancing.
 
2014-01-29 10:44:03 AM
Day 1:  Enough Astroglide Will Eventually Get the Stick Out of Our Collective Asses
 
2014-01-29 10:44:58 AM
A sex summit in Nashville?  Will she be leading any seminars?
www.naughtybutnicerob.com
 
2014-01-29 10:44:59 AM
"...redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

Religion really is just about people being afraid of being human isn't it?
 
2014-01-29 10:48:37 AM
I have a friend who owns a sex shop, who loves it when there is a big religious themed event going on.  Business goes through the roof, because they all go to his shop to buy stuff, without the fear of someone they know seeing their car parked outside the store.
 
2014-01-29 10:50:38 AM
The most conservative, republican guys have been the most kinky. Seriously.
 
2014-01-29 10:51:29 AM

Urbn: "...redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

Religion really is just about people being afraid of being human isn't it?


That's offensively wrong-minded; religion is really about exploiting people's fears about being human.
 
2014-01-29 10:51:37 AM
Q: Why don't Southern Baptists have sex standing up?

A: People might think they're dancing.
 
2014-01-29 10:51:39 AM
I am not sure if I should be out of town that weekend, or go down there with my SO and go at it on the steps of the hotel.

Sybarite - Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.

Yep, they will be busy for sure. Knowing how sexually dysfunctional these old white men are...

Bunkosquad - There can't be that many male hookers in Nashville, can there?

You'd be surprised actually. I mean, there is no mountain, but we are broke and we have no problem laying on our backs...
 
2014-01-29 10:52:44 AM
"The event's main sessions will be streamed live on the Web"

Baptist Pray-Per-View©.  Best or worst porn evar?

Discuss.
 
2014-01-29 10:53:00 AM
They've also been better, but YMMV.
 
2014-01-29 10:55:52 AM
The topics will range from pornography, teen sex, homosexuality and how pastors can talk to their congregations about human sexuality.

All at once?
 
2014-01-29 10:55:56 AM

Urbn: "...redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

Religion really is just about people being afraid of being human isn't it?


Nope, religion is about spicing things up by forbidding them. Next time you audit a university religion course (and who among us isn't doing that constantly), keep in mind that whatever a religion most strongly forbids, that is what everybody is rushing home to do right after the coffee and snickerdoodles in Banquet Room 'A'.

/catholic-schoolgirl-costume.jpeg
//sexy-nun-looking-at-her-own-rack.png
///sorry to mess with your heads, children of strict churchgoers.
 
2014-01-29 10:55:59 AM
Let's get these out of the way

farm3.staticflickr.com

i112.photobucket.com
www.planetdan.net
 
2014-01-29 10:57:42 AM

Urbn: "...redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

Religion really is just about people being afraid of being human isn't it?


Pretty much. Most biblical stories are little more than parables to help people of a much simpler time cope with that which they didn't understand.

The seven deadly sins are nothing more than human nature, and religion, for the most part are systems designed to keep instinctual behaviors in check by making people feel guilty about being a mammal.

/I believe in freedom of religion
//which includes my freedom to abstain
///respect begets respect
 
2014-01-29 11:01:30 AM
Given the repressed tendencies these people exhibit. I'm going to guess there will be lots of gay sex at this summit
 
2014-01-29 11:01:35 AM
Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice
 
2014-01-29 11:03:12 AM

bill4935: Urbn: "...redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

Religion really is just about people being afraid of being human isn't it?

Nope, religion is about spicing things up by forbidding them. Next time you audit a university religion course (and who among us isn't doing that constantly), keep in mind that whatever a religion most strongly forbids, that is what everybody is rushing home to do right after the coffee and snickerdoodles in Banquet Room 'A'.

/catholic-schoolgirl-costume.jpeg
//sexy-nun-looking-at-her-own-rack.png
///sorry to mess with your heads, children of strict churchgoers.


Snickerdoodles?

My boyfriends and I are going!
 
2014-01-29 11:03:56 AM

fruitloop: Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice


It means any durned thing we want it to mean -- just like religion in general.
 
2014-01-29 11:04:14 AM
Hot missionary on missionary action!
 
2014-01-29 11:04:37 AM

fruitloop: Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice


It means the parts they like, regardless of where it comes from. They seem particularly fond of their interpretation of parts of Leviticus, and then it all end days stuff after that.
 
2014-01-29 11:04:37 AM

fruitloop: Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice


THIS is why I live by Jesus' teachings but don't call myself a "Christian".
 
2014-01-29 11:05:40 AM
Southern Baptist leaders to host three day sex summit in Nashville.

Day 1: Doooooooooooooo...
Day 2: ...oooooooooooooo...
Day 3: ...oooooooooooooon't.
 
2014-01-29 11:07:49 AM

fruitloop: Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice


The Gospels are Deuteronomy, Leviticus, and all the sociopathc things said by Paul, the Lord and Savior Messiah.
 
2014-01-29 11:08:16 AM
What's the difference between a southern Baptist and a Methodist?

Methodists say hi to one another at the liquor store.
 
2014-01-29 11:08:24 AM

Sybarite: Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.


Don't forget the gay bars, they are buying extra booze by the truckload I'd reckon.
 
2014-01-29 11:10:53 AM

misanthropic1: What's the difference between a southern Baptist and a Methodist?

Methodists say hi to one another at the liquor store.


lol okay. Methodists are Baptists lite.
 
2014-01-29 11:11:53 AM

Foundling: fruitloop: Panel topics include discussions on the gospel and homosexuality and the gospel and ministry in a sex-saturated world. The sessions will also focus on how the "gospel shapes a person's sexual identity, redeems sexual desire and sets free people held captive by sin."

What does "gospel" actually mean to Southern Baptists?  I always thought gospel was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the rest of the book is the Bible.  I don't remember Jesus saying anything about any sexuality in the four books he's in.  Or does gospel mean the whole book to SoBaps?

/can't believe I was lazy and typed SoBaps
//twice

THIS is why I live by Jesus' teachings but don't call myself a "Christian".


THAT. Though I refer to it simply as "making a daily effort to not be a coont."

Take all the supernatural stuff out of the mix and there's still a good story there, of a man that advocated respect and tolerance, if not outright love for everyone, especially those that didn't agree with him.

How the Christians started there and got to where they are today is astonishing, and one of the main reasons I abstain from organized spirituality.
 
2014-01-29 11:14:17 AM
* Preloaded Pilgrim porn with hot buckle-on-buckle action.
* Generator-power upgrade available for Amish customers.

img.fark.net

/anyone else see this ad
//or is Jesus just Farking with me
 
2014-01-29 11:15:57 AM

Dr Dreidel: Southern Baptist leaders to host three day sex summit in Nashville.

Day 1: Doooooooooooooo...
Day 2: ...oooooooooooooo...
Day 3: ...oooooooooooooon't.


I gotta hand it to you...that's shorter than Nancy Reagan's planned speech: "Just say no."

/yeah I know...she's a witch, not a Baptist...or something
 
2014-01-29 11:18:31 AM

BunkoSquad: Sybarite: Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.

There can't be that many male hookers in Nashville, can there?


I've was in Nashville back in the mid 90's and let's just say that you would be surprised at how many strip clubs/whore houses are hidden in among all those churches and businesses.
 
2014-01-29 11:20:11 AM
Why do you always invite TWO Baptist friends to go fishing, watch NFL on your big-screen/hi-def TV, or back yard BBQ?

Because if you only invite one he will drink all your beer.

/oblig
 
2014-01-29 11:25:24 AM

Warlordtrooper: Given the repressed tendencies these people exhibit. I'm going to guess there will be lots of gay sex at this summit


SPERM FIGHT!
 
2014-01-29 11:46:12 AM
How are people able to convince themselves that an alleged being, who creates universes as a hobby, cares about what some apes on one of the infinite number of worlds he has created do to each other with their genitals?
 
2014-01-29 11:54:57 AM
Three days! Three farking days to just say "NO".
That is some slow learners right there, but ya knew that.
 
2014-01-29 11:55:08 AM
The event's main sessions will be streamed live on the Web for people who cannot attend.

I'll be in my bunk.
 
2014-01-29 11:56:44 AM

AbiNormal: BunkoSquad: Sybarite: Should be a profitable if exhausting weekend for Nashville hookers.

There can't be that many male hookers in Nashville, can there?

I've was in Nashville back in the mid 90's and let's just say that you would be surprised at how many strip clubs/whore houses are hidden in among all those churches and businesses.


Ya gotta have sinners iffn ya want a "real" prayer meetin.
 
2014-01-29 12:05:08 PM
That's hot.
 
2014-01-29 12:08:42 PM

jso2897: How are people able to convince themselves that an alleged being, who creates universes as a hobby, cares about what some apes on one of the infinite number of worlds he has created do to each other with their genitals?


Because God watches everything you do, every minute of your life to make sure you don't slip up. And he does this for 6 billion people simultaneously, whether they're cheering for his team or not.

He also has a habit of letting/making horrible things happen to otherwise good people (especially kids. God has a hard-on for killing kids, or letting/making others do it for him) as part of his "plan", which also includes quite a bit of interference in the world of sports and entertainment to ensure a righteous outcome.

Cancer? Part of the plan. Terrorism? Part of the plan. Little Johnny beating muscular dystrophy and living to see his 18th birthday? Not part of the plan.

Now watch this drive.
 
2014-01-29 12:11:54 PM

OdradekRex: Why don't Baptists fark standing up? 'Cause it might lead to dancing.


Southern Baptists are like cats. They raise a lot of hell, but you can't catch them at it ..
 
2014-01-29 12:21:30 PM
FTFY: The topics will range from pornography, teen sex, homosexuality dancing, beer, card playing, lipstick, rock-and-roll and how they lead to sex.
 
2014-01-29 12:21:38 PM
"How can we best transmit our severe sexual dysfunction to our innocent children?"

Well, the tradition solution is to just rape them yourselves...
 
2014-01-29 12:34:54 PM

Clemkadidlefark: OdradekRex: Why don't Baptists fark standing up? 'Cause it might lead to dancing.

Southern Baptists are like cats. They raise a lot of hell, but you can't catch them at it ..


Can we glue captions to them?
 
2014-01-29 12:35:58 PM
Well, if we're looking for a hotbed of weapons-grade stupid outside of D.C., this will probably be it.

Should be plenty of hilarious (and depressing) quotes to choose from.
 
2014-01-29 12:49:00 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Well, if we're looking for a hotbed of weapons-grade stupid outside of D.C., this will probably be it.

Should be plenty of hilarious (and depressing) quotes to choose from.


Drinking Game;
Beer for hypocrisy, whiskey for disinformation and the men.
 
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