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(Philadelphia Magazine)   How to make it onto FARK: 1) Crash your car. 2) Take all your clothes off when it is freezing cold out. 3) Play with yourself. (WARNING: Video Not safe for work)   (phillymag.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, Crown Fried Chicken, pleasures, North Philadelphia, fifth street, Lehigh  
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8805 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2014 at 5:41 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-01-28 11:44:44 PM
Damn, I didnt know someone had a camera.
 
2014-01-28 11:48:24 PM
Go big or go home

/and going big is damned hard when it's that cold
//hell, hard is damned hard when it's that cold
 
2014-01-28 11:49:25 PM
That is one messy, messy headline.
 
2014-01-28 11:53:50 PM
Pennsauken Phil:  If he doesn't see the shadow of his penis it will be an early spring.

If anyone else sees his penis the world will be awash with warm vomitus.
 
2014-01-29 12:12:47 AM

Relatively Obscure: That is one messy, messy headline.



How to make it onto FARK: 1) Crash your car. 2) Take all your clothes off when it is freezing cold out. 3) Play with yourself. (WARNING: Video Not safe for work)

"Choking the chicken"
 
2014-01-29 12:15:11 AM

Relatively Obscure: That is one messy, messy headline.


Kind of fitting isn't it?  That is one messy dude.

To paraphrase Steve Martin, "I remember my first Meth Binge."
 
2014-01-29 12:42:29 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-29 12:43:36 AM
everythingthatscrazy.com
 
2014-01-29 01:26:58 AM

rkiller1: [everythingthatscrazy.com image 510x383]


"No," hmm... that's a funny way to spell 'best'
 
2014-01-29 01:57:30 AM
well...two out of three ain't bad I guess.
 
2014-01-29 03:01:58 AM
Bullshiat subby, I've never been on fark.
 
2014-01-29 05:43:59 AM
Again?
 
2014-01-29 05:46:13 AM
More blow back from the Grammy's and Obummers state for the union. He's probably trying to summon Satan.
 
2014-01-29 05:53:50 AM
"He was definitively making himself happy"

We can't have that around here!
 
2014-01-29 06:10:56 AM
Interestingly it is actually fairly common when freezing to death for people to feel extremely hot and take all their clothes off, I think due to the cold killing off the nerves which gets interpreted as heat.

/presumably unrelated to article as I doubt it was such an extreme situation
 
2014-01-29 06:23:13 AM
Though the video isn't 100% clear as to the self-pleasuring activity, the man who shot the video tells me, "Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy."


thank god we cleared that up.
 
2014-01-29 06:24:27 AM
He's just keeping himself warm after taking all his clothes off in that weather.
 
2014-01-29 06:26:33 AM
Wow, he is well hung, did you see the shadow on the car?
 
2014-01-29 06:38:16 AM

KONY 2012

 
2014-01-29 06:47:35 AM

MorningBreath: Wow, he is well hung, did you see the shadow on the car?


Nice try....!
 
2014-01-29 07:03:12 AM
The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey.

What a bizarre name... How do you pronounce that? Hash-hash-hash-etc.? Pound-pound-pound-etc.? Sharp-sharp-sharp-etc.? Number-number-number-etc.?
 
2014-01-29 07:04:33 AM
How come a video of crashing your car is NSFW?
 
2014-01-29 07:07:21 AM
Crown Fried Chicken makes me cray cray also.
 
2014-01-29 07:09:40 AM
I'm surprised this wasn't in San Diego.
 
2014-01-29 07:15:42 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Again?


This is not a repeat. No cheese.

RobSeace: The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey.

What a bizarre name... How do you pronounce that? Hash-hash-hash-etc.? Pound-pound-pound-etc.? Sharp-sharp-sharp-etc.? Number-number-number-etc.?


pen-SOW-ken.

KStDrew: How come a video of crashing your car is NSFW?


Reread number two in the headline.
 
2014-01-29 07:16:16 AM
FTA -- best comment:

"Man crashes into chicken joint, chokes chicken"

Headline of the year
 
2014-01-29 07:21:28 AM
Something something "secret sauce" something
 
2014-01-29 07:23:47 AM
5th & Lehigh! Only one reason for a Jersey boy to be around there...

Misch: pen-SOW-ken.


pen-SAW-ken. I lived there for five years.
 
2014-01-29 07:27:10 AM
Suspecting the reason for the crash, the man then checked his throttle.
 
2014-01-29 07:28:50 AM

pinchpoint: Misch: pen-SOW-ken.

pen-SAW-ken. I lived there for five years.


You're right. It's too many minutes before caffiene o'clock here.
 
2014-01-29 07:29:09 AM
In all fairness, he is from Jersey. I'm sure he didn't know better.
 
2014-01-29 07:36:41 AM
I don't eat anything else, when I think of Crown Fried Chicken I touch myself.
 
2014-01-29 07:37:37 AM

rkiller1: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x346]


img.fark.net

Glen was an attention whore. Always trying to get into the media, even after his 15 minutes were up
 
2014-01-29 07:41:18 AM
I prefer to jerk it in McDonald's. I don't see me making it onto Fark. Oh wait...
 
2014-01-29 07:44:50 AM
That must be some fried chicken.

/Crown in the hood near me is good too
 
2014-01-29 07:58:45 AM
He was charged with a DUI. Why he wasn't charged with indecent exposure or public lewdness is anyone's guess.

Who's the mayor of Pensauken, NJ and does he have a brother-in-law?
 
2014-01-29 08:01:10 AM
I'll bet he was expecting to wake up from a bad dream any second now...
 
2014-01-29 08:02:06 AM
img.photobucket.com
Your typical Jersey driver being a typical Jersey jerkoff.

/hit by a underage drunk, drugged up Jersey driver last May. good odds for that if you live in the Philly area.
//after a two-level cervical fusion, you'd be bitter too
 
2014-01-29 08:04:52 AM
Winner, winner?
 
2014-01-29 08:19:02 AM

Sun Khan: [img.photobucket.com image 173x68]
Your typical Jersey driver being a typical Jersey jerkoff.

/hit by a underage drunk, drugged up Jersey driver last May. good odds for that if you live in the Philly area.
//after a two-level cervical fusion, you'd be bitter too


You have a cervix?

/I know, I know
 
2014-01-29 08:30:42 AM
He's back from Panama?
 
2014-01-29 08:34:33 AM

Lonestar: Damn, I didnt know someone had a camera.


It's the smartphone era. Always assume that someone has a camera.
 
2014-01-29 08:35:08 AM

RobSeace: The operator was identified as 34 year old ######### from Pennsauken, New Jersey.

What a bizarre name... How do you pronounce that? Hash-hash-hash-etc.? Pound-pound-pound-etc.? Sharp-sharp-sharp-etc.? Number-number-number-etc.?


I think it's Canadian.
 
2014-01-29 08:36:16 AM

MoistenedBint: He's back from Panama?


+1
 
2014-01-29 08:43:00 AM

batlock666: I'm surprised this wasn't in San Diego.


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-29 08:52:36 AM
At least he didn't crash the plane like HOKE HOGAN
 
2014-01-29 08:53:06 AM
Take away the part about owning a car and you have a typical afternoon sight in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco.
 
2014-01-29 08:53:49 AM
If you're going to titillate with NSFW, please indicate if the subject is male or female.  Thank you.
 
2014-01-29 08:54:04 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-29 08:59:42 AM
If he had tried that up here in MN, step two would have made step three impossible. They would need the jaws of life to get his junk to come back out.
 
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