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(Local10 WPLG)   "When the victim stated she didn't have any money, the suspect pulled down his pants and began hitting the woman in her face with his penis and shouted, "____ give me the money"   (local10.com) divider line 82
    More: Florida  
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7590 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 8:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-28 08:20:19 PM  
All right, what's his Fark handle?
 
2014-01-28 08:20:30 PM  
A different form of sexual assault.
He will get all kinds of felony charges for that one.
 
2014-01-28 08:20:32 PM  
Long Dong Silver ?
 
2014-01-28 08:20:33 PM  
Whats his fark handle?
 
2014-01-28 08:20:42 PM  
"P3nis...give me the money" (?)
 
2014-01-28 08:21:04 PM  
So, MadLibs?
 
2014-01-28 08:22:05 PM  
What a dick move
 
2014-01-28 08:22:23 PM  
The suspect sounds tall.
 
2014-01-28 08:22:45 PM  
It was this guy...

imagizer.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-28 08:22:50 PM  
Madam, would you graciously give me the money?
 
2014-01-28 08:22:58 PM  
Assault with a flaccid weapon?
 
TWX
2014-01-28 08:23:21 PM  

rev. dave: A different form of sexual assault.
He will get all kinds of felony charges for that one.


Yeah, that was really stupid, and forces the cops to commit even more resources to finding him, now that he's a sexual deviant.

Not that it's a bright thing to commit a home-invasion robbery in the first place...
 
2014-01-28 08:23:59 PM  
I do that to my girl every time she owes meoney. It a normal part of a healthy relationship.
 
2014-01-28 08:24:32 PM  
Apparently, the victim was unaware of the penile codes in this state.
 
2014-01-28 08:25:05 PM  
PURDYPLEASE give me the money.
 
2014-01-28 08:26:17 PM  
Usually the guy has to pay for that
 
2014-01-28 08:26:31 PM  
Piss-tool whipped?
 
2014-01-28 08:27:01 PM  
A big Texan ambles into a Dallas men's room and does a double-take at the little guy standing at the next urinal. He's holding his "snake" with two hands and smiling.

The Texan asks "How long is that snake fella?"

"14 inches."

"Is that 14 inches soft?"

"Yes."

"Well how long is it when it's hard?"

The little guy answers proudly, "I don't know - it takes so much blood, I faint!"
 
2014-01-28 08:27:45 PM  
Police have posted a reenactment of the incident on Redtube and Spankwire.
 
2014-01-28 08:28:08 PM  
'Officer, I have the perp's penis DNA on my face'
 
2014-01-28 08:29:34 PM  
Was the answer "grandma"?
 
2014-01-28 08:30:01 PM  
I'm looking for pound notes
Loose change
Bad checks, anything
Gimme some money
 
2014-01-28 08:30:55 PM  
I'm having a hard time picturing this. Either he has an enormous schwanzstucker, or he would have to be holding her head right up against his groinal region. And he'd be doing what... kinda flopping it back and forth? Like a dead fish?
 
2014-01-28 08:31:17 PM  
Every now and then, there's discussion about needing other state tags, ie; "why don't we have a Texas tag?". This headline right here is prime example of why the Florida tag remains alone. Weird stuff can happen anywhere, but that state is whack.
 
hej
2014-01-28 08:34:39 PM  
I like how we're describing a penis beating, and were worried about censorinbg what ever dirty word it is that he called the victim.
 
2014-01-28 08:35:24 PM  

Sass-O-Rev: I'm having a hard time picturing this. Either he has an enormous schwanzstucker, or he would have to be holding her head right up against his groinal region. And he'd be doing what... kinda flopping it back and forth? Like a dead fish?


Go on...
 
db2
2014-01-28 08:35:46 PM  
i.imgur.com
Match Game is getting really filthy these days.
 
2014-01-28 08:38:36 PM  
What the hell??? We're not allowed to slap people with our penises anymore? What's this world coming to?
 
2014-01-28 08:39:44 PM  
After many years of collecting data, Cambridge sex researchers have determined that the human penis may be classified according to one of five basic size groups: small, medium, large, 'Oh my God!' and 'Does that come in white?'
 
2014-01-28 08:39:50 PM  
Was she hot?
 
2014-01-28 08:39:55 PM  
What is "wiener" for a thousand, Alex.
 
gja
2014-01-28 08:41:24 PM  
"Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your p3nis?"
"No, but I can slap you in your face, now gimme the money"
 
2014-01-28 08:43:49 PM  

dascott: Sass-O-Rev: I'm having a hard time picturing this. Either he has an enormous schwanzstucker, or he would have to be holding her head right up against his groinal region. And he'd be doing what... kinda flopping it back and forth? Like a dead fish?

Go on...


I dunno... Just seems like something that would be more likely to make someone crack up laughing, rather than induce terror and/or compliance. Just imagine! *flop!* *flop!* *flop!*

/points for her if she bites it?
 
2014-01-28 08:44:46 PM  
Good thing only the criminals had guns.
 
2014-01-28 08:48:41 PM  

wildcardjack: After many years of collecting data, Cambridge sex researchers have determined that the human penis may be classified according to one of five basic size groups: small, medium, large, 'Oh my God!' and 'Does that come in white?'


That was the first good laugh ive had after several scary and stressful days (infant son was in the hospital with breathing problems).

Good jorb.
 
2014-01-28 08:50:08 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Good thing only the criminals had guns.


Do you often open the door with a gun in your hand?  I'm not judging you, but personally, I'd move.
 
2014-01-28 08:51:07 PM  

aevorea: wildcardjack: After many years of collecting data, Cambridge sex researchers have determined that the human penis may be classified according to one of five basic size groups: small, medium, large, 'Oh my God!' and 'Does that come in white?'

That was the first good laugh ive had after several scary and stressful days (infant son was in the hospital with breathing problems).

Good jorb.


I hope all is well with the baby. Sending good vibes.
 
2014-01-28 08:53:36 PM  
Sh*t. I think this might have been me.

I need to cut back on the drinking.
 
2014-01-28 09:01:54 PM  
She can have the police artist sketch the penis and post them around town.
Have you seen this prick?
 
2014-01-28 09:07:05 PM  
Well that's certainly a twist on the traditional sharking.
 
2014-01-28 09:09:06 PM  
Mushroom Tattoos are hot.
 
2014-01-28 09:10:57 PM  

FraglitsStignow: What a dick move


what you did there, I saw it, now please pull your pants up.
 
2014-01-28 09:11:20 PM  
Get this sound out of my head!

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-28 09:16:24 PM  
So the article doesn't give a description, but I will go out in a limb and say they weren't Asian.

-.-
 
2014-01-28 09:17:07 PM  
I'm reminded of that GOP congressman who was upset about losing the shutdown battle, and kept whining "We gotta get something out a this"
 
2014-01-28 09:18:25 PM  

cowgirl toffee: It was this guy...

[imagizer.imageshack.us image 612x600]


I'll kick down a few bucks if they have a compelling sign.
This may get 5 bucks if he's hot up close.
 
2014-01-28 09:20:03 PM  

TWX: rev. dave: A different form of sexual assault.
He will get all kinds of felony charges for that one.

Yeah, that was really stupid, and forces the cops to commit even more resources to finding him, now that he's a sexual deviant.

Not that it's a bright thing to commit a home-invasion robbery in the first place...


So next time, whack her in the face with the clock radio instead. Got it.
 
2014-01-28 09:27:05 PM  
Mom give me the money?

I've always hated the fill in the blank portion of tests.
 
2014-01-28 09:27:06 PM  
Obviously the perpetrator was attractive and successful.  No way that was a white boy.
 
2014-01-28 09:31:55 PM  
geez--what a dick.
 
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