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(Chicago Trib)   Pregnant woman arrested for shoplifting asks the police officers if she can go ahead and shoot some heroin. Hey, if you're going to go all-in, go all-in   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 43
    More: Sick, police officers, pregnancy, West Side Walmart, Minnesota Woman, shoplifting, heroin, changing room  
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4724 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 7:28 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-28 05:39:55 PM
All this and more on the next episode of Honey Boo-boo.
 
2014-01-28 05:51:18 PM

Timmy the Tumor: All this and more on the next episode of Honey Boo-boo.


C'mon, be fair. That would be meth.
 
2014-01-28 05:52:15 PM
That's a hard 33.
 
2014-01-28 06:07:43 PM
Always be attuned to the social mores and sensibilities of your arresting officer.
 
2014-01-28 06:14:57 PM
The woman needs help. And since this is America, she's not going to get it.
 
2014-01-28 06:24:20 PM
At first I wondered why she was so worried about getting sick if she had smack with her, but then I read this:

...and she continued saying that she "only wanted one" of the bags "because she had ten of them and she thought they might be more than a gram although a couple were very light because she had already used from a least a couple," the report said.

So I figure she probably had the deck (it is a deck, right?) fronted to her, pinched more than she should have, and decided to make up the difference by ripping off some crap and then returning it.  And now that she's been arrested, the deck is gone but her dealer is going to want the money because FARK YOU, PAY ME! And so she figures that she's farked either way and decides she might as well try.

How's that for a farked-up life and no way out?

/Really glad that my biggest concern is that I only have three beers in the fridge at the moment.
 
2014-01-28 07:34:14 PM
Huh?  Did they only search her purse because she wanted heroin?  Is that how shoplifters are processed?
 
2014-01-28 07:34:54 PM
I recently had a defense attorney point out that if you're going to get busted, your best bet is to shoot up as much as you can, while you can.  For a variety of reasons, it can be difficult for the prosecution to prove drug possession even if you test positive for the drugs but don't have any on you.  And having only the paraphernalia on you will almost always result in a much more lenient outcome.
 
2014-01-28 07:38:09 PM
Normally, I'd say this is akin to the child molester asking if he can have just one more kid - but since she is clearly going to die soon...
 
2014-01-28 07:39:29 PM
So this isn't an attempt to troll, but she was three months pregnant.  Pro-choice people cannot be extra upset because she was pregnant without some cognitive dissonance because that was a "clump of cells" inside her.

I'm pro-choice, especially only in the 3rd month and yet it ticks me off that's she's doin heroin while pregnant.  So I myself have a great deal amount of cognitive dissonance here.  But that's the price of callin a 3 month old fetus a "thing" or whatever the PC name is.
 
2014-01-28 07:40:46 PM

PainInTheASP: /Really glad that my biggest concern is that I only have three beers in the fridge at the moment.


That's a pretty desperate situation actually.
 
2014-01-28 07:40:47 PM

Talondel: I recently had a defense attorney point out that if you're going to get busted, your best bet is to shoot up as much as you can, while you can.  For a variety of reasons, it can be difficult for the prosecution to prove drug possession even if you test positive for the drugs but don't have any on you.  And having only the paraphernalia on you will almost always result in a much more lenient outcome.


Also very hard for you to be sent to jail if you are dead. I hope this was one of those $40k a year low tier law school public defenders.
 
2014-01-28 07:46:35 PM

trappedspirit: Huh?  Did they only search her purse because she wanted heroin?  Is that how shoplifters are processed?


Typically any time you are arrested officers will search your person and things in your possession.  The justifications for this vary depending on the case law you're reading at the time, but typically it's justified for officer safety and preservation of evidence.  For example, the officer needs to make sure she doesn't have any weapons on her.  But the officer will also want to verify that there isn't evidence of the shoplifting offense in the purse.

Also, if you're being taken to jail the officer is doing you a favor by searching your for drugs and weapons before your processed at the jail.  Because in many jurisdictions if they discover the drugs on you when you're being booked into the jail, that will be charged as "promoting prison contraband" or something similar, which is typically more serious than the simple possession charge.

For example in Arizona, possession of a dangerous drug is a class 4 felony. Bringing the same drug with you to the jail is a class 2 felony.

http://www.azleg.state.az.us/Formatdocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/13/03407. ht m&Title=13&DocType=ARS

http://www.azleg.state.az.us/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/13/02505. ht m&Title=13&DocType=ARS
 
2014-01-28 07:49:15 PM
In other news, heroin addiction is a really bad thing.
 
2014-01-28 07:49:57 PM

H31N0US: Talondel: I recently had a defense attorney point out that if you're going to get busted, your best bet is to shoot up as much as you can, while you can.  For a variety of reasons, it can be difficult for the prosecution to prove drug possession even if you test positive for the drugs but don't have any on you.  And having only the paraphernalia on you will almost always result in a much more lenient outcome.

Also very hard for you to be sent to jail if you are dead. I hope this was one of those $40k a year low tier law school public defenders.


I think the "as much as you can" implies survival.  But even if not, he's giving out legal advice, not medical advice.  I guess if you want a lawyer that will get you a reduced charge AND make sure you survive you need to pay the big bucks for one of those private attorneys.
 
2014-01-28 07:51:46 PM
Though it sounds bad, heroin while pregnant  (excluding external factors like malnutrition, and infection) will have no long term effects on the baby. Alcohol on the other hand...

That said, junkies are not known for being health conscious, and blood infection from injection can be problematic.
 
2014-01-28 07:52:11 PM
She is stealing to support her heroin addiction.  The obvious solution is to enroll her in a drug rehabilitation program, and to offer her support (medical + social) so that she can beat her addiction and once again become a fully healthy, productive human being.

But they're probably going to put her in jail and write off her human potential, because think of the children.

lennavan: I'm pro-choice, especially only in the 3rd month and yet it ticks me off that's she's doin heroin while pregnant.  So I myself have a great deal amount of cognitive dissonance here.


The easy solution to your problem of cognitive dissonance is to stop thinking that there's a definitive wall of separation between those two concepts.  There's no magic point where the clump of cells becomes a fetus.

And putting aside all philosophizing, the reality is that public opinion about abortion has never been derived from first principles.  It's mostly a function of "is it cute yet?".  A microscopic clump of cells isn't cute, which is why we permit killing it.  Something with tiny little arms and legs is cute.
 
2014-01-28 07:58:09 PM

This About That: Always be attuned to the social mores and sensibilities of your arresting officer.


You're saying this facetiously, but it can get you out of some shiat.

When you're farked, buddying up the AO can't hurt so long as you're running the conversation (and know what not to say).
 
2014-01-28 07:59:07 PM
That fetus is farked.
 
2014-01-28 07:59:28 PM
You have no idea how hard that little crotch-spawn can kick when it's jonesin'.

/Don't harsh
//my buzz
///man.
 
2014-01-28 08:00:32 PM
Shoplifting at Wal-Mart. Classy.


Captain Dan: And putting aside all philosophizing, the reality is that public opinion about abortion has never been derived from first principles.  It's mostly a function of "is it cute yet?".  A microscopic clump of cells isn't cute, which is why we permit killing it.  Something with tiny little arms and legs is cute.


Speak for yourself. I think newborns are ugly as hell.
 
2014-01-28 08:04:26 PM

shanrick: The woman needs help. And since this is America, she's not going to get it.


This.
 
2014-01-28 08:09:32 PM
Looks like Ann Coulter is having a rough life.
 
2014-01-28 08:10:14 PM
Rock, meet bottom.
 
2014-01-28 08:11:06 PM

bronyaur1: In other news, heroin addiction is a really bad thing.


Hey, it worked for William S. Burroughs..
 
2014-01-28 08:12:03 PM
Ya can't fix stupid.
 
2014-01-28 08:14:01 PM

sick tag ? i'd go for sad tag?

I wish she'd find a way out, but probably wont.

 
2014-01-28 08:14:49 PM

lennavan: So this isn't an attempt to troll, but she was three months pregnant.  Pro-choice people cannot be extra upset because she was pregnant without some cognitive dissonance because that was a "clump of cells" inside her.

I'm pro-choice, especially only in the 3rd month and yet it ticks me off that's she's doin heroin while pregnant.  So I myself have a great deal amount of cognitive dissonance here.  But that's the price of callin a 3 month old fetus a "thing" or whatever the PC name is.


Umm, just going to point out that shooting heroin at the 3-month mark, cells clump designation regardless, may have an impact on the child the clump will become. So, I mean, if she's planning on keeping the kid...then I think you are allowed to be upset. If she plans on aborting...well, then it doesn't farking matter.
 
2014-01-28 08:21:17 PM

shanrick: The woman needs help. And since this is America, she's not going to get it.


rev. dave: shanrick: The woman needs help. And since this is America, she's not going to get it.

This.


From what I can tell, she will probably be charged with a class 1 felony for possession of heroin.

(c) Any person who violates this Section with regard to the following amounts of controlled or counterfeit substances or controlled substance analogs, notwithstanding any of the provisions of subsections (a), (b), (d), (e), (f), (g) or (h) to the contrary, is guilty of a Class 1 felony. The fine for violation of this subsection (c) shall not be more than $250,000: 
        (1) 1 gram or more but less than 15 grams of anysubstance containing heroin, or an analog thereof;


However, it's likely she will be allowed to plea to a lessor offense, such as possession of drug paraphernalia, at a lower class of felony.

In either event, assuming she has no prior felony convictions, she will likely be placed on probation, and will likely be ordered to drug treatment as a condition of probation.

http://www.tasc.org/preview/adultcourtandprobation.html
 
2014-01-28 08:29:32 PM

Talondel: trappedspirit: Huh?  Did they only search her purse because she wanted heroin?  Is that how shoplifters are processed?

Typically any time you are arrested officers will search your person and things in your possession.  The justifications for this vary depending on the case law you're reading at the time, but typically it's justified for officer safety and preservation of evidence.  For example, the officer needs to make sure she doesn't have any weapons on her.  But the officer will also want to verify that there isn't evidence of the shoplifting offense in the purse.

Also, if you're being taken to jail the officer is doing you a favor by searching your for drugs and weapons before your processed at the jail.  Because in many jurisdictions if they discover the drugs on you when you're being booked into the jail, that will be charged as "promoting prison contraband" or something similar, which is typically more serious than the simple possession charge.

For example in Arizona, possession of a dangerous drug is a class 4 felony. Bringing the same drug with you to the jail is a class 2 felony.

http://www.azleg.state.az.us/Formatdocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/13/03407. ht m&Title=13&DocType=ARS

http://www.azleg.state.az.us/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/13/02505. ht m&Title=13&DocType=ARS


My point was that, unlike how the story and headline make things out, I'm pretty sure there was going to be a thorough search without her asking for heroin.

Course, sometimes they just forget and bad stuff happens.
 
2014-01-28 08:35:03 PM
Who knows in this case but druggies telling cops that they are pregnant is a common ruse.
 
2014-01-28 08:45:30 PM

PainInTheASP: How's that for a farked-up life and no way out?


That unborn child of her should be worth a few grand, assuming it doesn't come out completely retarded due to her mothers drug use.
 
2014-01-28 08:46:30 PM

Johnsnownw: Umm, just going to point out that shooting heroin at the 3-month mark, cells clump designation regardless, may have an impact on the child the clump will become.


That is exactly my point.  Please note what I have highlighted for you.  That is the very essence of the pro-life argument.  Thus my cognitive dissonance.

I'm cool with aborting a 3 month old fetus because it's not a separate life form.  But shooting up heroin with a 3 month old fetus inside you pisses me off because of what it will become.  Yet I do not consider what it will become in my abortion stance.
 
2014-01-28 08:49:31 PM
Thanx, Mom-glitch.
 
2014-01-28 08:51:59 PM

Captain Dan: The easy solution to your problem of cognitive dissonance is to stop thinking that there's a definitive wall of separation between those two concepts. There's no magic point where the clump of cells becomes a fetus.

And putting aside all philosophizing


We need to re-visit biology before we head to philosophy.  Fetus has a scientific definition.  Now, you really wanted to make the "I'm really smart" point of when it becomes a fetus is a fuzzy area and you would be correct, that is a fuzzy area.  However, there has never been a single person in the history of the world that had any goddamn elementary understanding of human development that ever confused "clump of cells" with "fetus."  Now it is very possible people have had fuzzy understandings of the phrase "clump of cells" with the term "embryo."

You might want to familiarize yourself with these basic terms before you begin any philosophizing.
 
2014-01-28 08:58:05 PM
The important thing is that she's carrying her precious miracle to term, like Jesus wants.
 
2014-01-28 09:25:16 PM

lennavan: We need to re-visit biology before we head to philosophy.  Fetus has a scientific definition.  Now, you really wanted to make the "I'm really smart" point of when it becomes a fetus is a fuzzy area and you would be correct, that is a fuzzy area.  However, there has never been a single person in the history of the world that had any goddamn elementary understanding of human development that ever confused "clump of cells" with "fetus."  Now it is very possible people have had fuzzy understandings of the phrase "clump of cells" with the term "embryo."

You might want to familiarize yourself with these basic terms before you begin any philosophizing.


That was pretty biatchy for a post purporting to correct a mistake that nobody made.

Re-read my post.  I used "clump of cells" in the same way that everybody understands it - the embryo present at the beginning of pregnancy.  There's no one point at which this phenotypically indistinct embryo/"clump of cells" becomes a recognizably human fetus.
 
2014-01-28 10:36:32 PM

Captain Dan: That was pretty biatchy for a post purporting to correct a mistake that nobody made.


Abortion is a sacred thing to some. Questions about what makes humans human? Not so much.
 
2014-01-28 10:36:53 PM

Captain Dan: She is stealing to support her heroin addiction.  The obvious solution is to enroll her in a drug rehabilitation program, and to offer her support (medical + social) so that she can beat her addiction and once again become a fully healthy, productive human being.

But they're probably going to put her in jail and write off her human potential, because think of the children.

lennavan: I'm pro-choice, especially only in the 3rd month and yet it ticks me off that's she's doin heroin while pregnant.  So I myself have a great deal amount of cognitive dissonance here.

The easy solution to your problem of cognitive dissonance is to stop thinking that there's a definitive wall of separation between those two concepts.  There's no magic point where the clump of cells becomes a fetus.

And putting aside all philosophizing, the reality is that public opinion about abortion has never been derived from first principles.  It's mostly a function of "is it cute yet?".  A microscopic clump of cells isn't cute, which is why we permit killing it.  Something with tiny little arms and legs is cute.


Uhhhhhhhhhh.......yeeeeeeaaaaah. Im guessing you have never seen pictures of an aborted fetus.
 
2014-01-28 11:04:28 PM
Cool, now taxpayers get to pay for her medical care.
 
2014-01-29 12:41:53 AM
Smoke'm if you gottem!
 
2014-01-29 08:16:40 AM
Subby, you forgot "Smokin' hot" in your headline.

/oh wait, not the daily fail
//my bad
///as you were
 
2014-01-29 10:13:16 AM

lennavan: Johnsnownw: Umm, just going to point out that shooting heroin at the 3-month mark, cells clump designation regardless, may have an impact on the child the clump will become.

That is exactly my point.  Please note what I have highlighted for you.  That is the very essence of the pro-life argument.  Thus my cognitive dissonance.

I'm cool with aborting a 3 month old fetus because it's not a separate life form.  But shooting up heroin with a 3 month old fetus inside you pisses me off because of what it will become.  Yet I do not consider what it will become in my abortion stance.


Nor should you, because it's not there yet nor will it ever get there... If the heroin fetus were going to be aborted, you shouldn't care about her doing it then, either... But, if she's going to actually have the kid, then it's perfectly rational to care about what it will become... If she's never going to have it, it's totally irrational to care about what it will become, because that's never going to happen! No dissonance...
 
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