Kim's a little despot short and stout, Omaha explosion traced to snap count, and the Pope confirms that Al Gore is God: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/19 - 1/25
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-01-28 3:15:14 PM, edited 2014-01-28 3:18:08 PM (7 comments) | Permalink
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Some fun headlines this week. My two personal favorites are the anorexia doll and the little despot. Well done to everybody.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-01-19 to Sat 2014-01-25:
Massive sinkhole opens up in Detroit. City officials say the huge gaping vortex of emptiness will have to put up with the sinkhole until they can fix it
Multiple fatalities in Omaha following explosion, snap count
Boy trapped in well. Updates via collie to be forthcoming
Happy Birthday, Roe v. Wade. Okay, let me rephrase that. Today marks the 41st anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision
Opera singer sues after botched episiotomy gives her excessive flatulence, leaving her unable to work. This ain't over until the fart lady sings
Pope confirms that Al Gore is God
Proving everything at JFK Airport is delayed, five people just got indicted from the 1978 Lufthansa heist
♫ And the kid in the back, took an elbow to the sack, And it turned into a school bus blitz. And the girl that was queefing said "Boy you'd best be leaving", And it turned into a school bus blitz. ♫
Critics say that a doll sold in the UK promotes anorexia. To stop it from crying you just push one of the doll's fingers down its throat
♪ I'm a little despot, short and stout | Here is my army, here is my pout | When I want attention, hear me shout | I make the whole world live in doubt ♪
Natural gas pipeline explosion near Otterburne. Also, Beaverburne, Mooseburne
Omaha beats New England, heads to Super Bowl
Nine-year-old to present the game ball at the Super Bowl, try to avoid being eaten by Marshawn Lynch
Five things you need to know about womens' ski jumping. "The hell's that whistling sound?" inexplicably not among them
Hybrid dolphin gives scientists window into evolution, gets great gas mileage
Researchers find the brain mechanism that leads to cocaine addiction. Apparently it's located next to the part of the brain that thinks you have too much money to spend
Longer lifespan study says humans would have to run a marathon a day to burn as many calories as a similar sized deer. Then again, you would easily run a marathon a day if there was someone always chasing you around with a gun
Jimmy Fallon's first guests as new host of "The Tonight Show" will be Will Smith, U2, and a medium to interview the ghost of Conan O'Brien's career
George Michael's new album is coming out in March, about 15 years after he did
TV reporter forgets to turn off his mic in the bathroom, viewers get the streaming audio
US Republicans plan to kill anti-tax dodging law, saying it will make it legal for the poor as well as the rich to hide millions of dollars in offshore bank accounts
2014 could be a bad year for the Tea Party, the GOP, Aliens, Predators, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers, and...Methodists
When you write an op-ed against populist liberals, you get biatch-slapped by Elizabeth Warren. When you get biatch-slapped by Warren, you resign your position in Third Way. When you resign, you run for the governorship. Don't write op-eds
Technology development firm for CitiBike files for bankruptcy, according to company spokes person
US threatens Nigeria with economic sanctions over country's anti-gay laws. So take a look around your house and find everything you own that was made in Nigeria and try to imagine life without it
T-mobile to check cashing joints: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
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