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(Slate)   Got some spare change you can loan the Queen of England? She's down to her last million pounds   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Sad, rainy day fund, Queen Elizabeth, JoshVoorhees, loans  
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9132 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 2:21 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-28 02:14:17 PM  
Maybe they need some new leadership....

images.starpulse.com
 
2014-01-28 02:23:25 PM  
www.bbc.co.uk

Knows how she feels.
 
2014-01-28 02:24:06 PM  
"The boiler in Buckingham Palace is 60 years old," committee chair Margaret Hodge told the BBC.

I thought HRM was over 70.
 
2014-01-28 02:24:48 PM  
No.
 
2014-01-28 02:24:58 PM  
She sounds fat.
 
2014-01-28 02:25:20 PM  
Don't forget that she has to pay for diplomatic visits and all those castles out of her own pocket, whilst the government pinched all her income.
 
2014-01-28 02:25:22 PM  
Will it all be over soon? Did the French only have to wait another two-hundred years to get the same results as the British?
 
2014-01-28 02:25:23 PM  
www.culture24.org.uk

Maybe she should go out and get a goddamn job. Mechanics get paid pretty well
 
2014-01-28 02:25:23 PM  

flamark: "The boiler in Buckingham Palace is 60 years old," committee chair Margaret Hodge told the BBC.

I thought HRM was over 70.


Thief.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:02 PM  
That's what she gets for taking financial advice from the Earl of Grantham.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:08 PM  
God save the Queen, cos tourists have money.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:26 PM  
They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:27 PM  
That's a shame.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:36 PM  
The monarchy generates money, I don't think they'll have a problem.
 
2014-01-28 02:27:42 PM  
Well some tart in a lake distributing swords is hardly a basis for a system of government.
 
2014-01-28 02:28:26 PM  
Heres an interesting video about how the British Monarcy makes a huge amount of money for the Brits.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhyYgnhhKFw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhyYgnhhKFw
 
2014-01-28 02:28:52 PM  
"To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"
"To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"
"To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"
 
2014-01-28 02:28:53 PM  

Dahnkster: Maybe they need some new leadership....


The Crown should follow this plan, down to the part where they adopt a sassy blonde flapper and the Irish guy gets noticeably fatter.
 
2014-01-28 02:30:09 PM  

comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.


i like this idea.
 
2014-01-28 02:30:20 PM  
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2014-01-28 02:30:20 PM  
Is the Queen still able to cash that paper in for actual pounds of silver?
 
2014-01-28 02:30:30 PM  
Sure, I'll loan them the money. I'd need some collateral until the note is paid off, though.
weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com

She needs to leave the toddler back home/
 
2014-01-28 02:30:32 PM  
I wish she would just abolish the monarchy before Charles and Camilla get in there. Just get rid of it, give all the holdings to the state and take off to some distant part of the Commonwealth.

Charles is a complete idiot. He has all the intelligence and charm of Prince Philip combined with the ego of his distant relative the Kaiser. Let the royalty go before it loses its shine completely.
 
2014-01-28 02:30:56 PM  

comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.


I'd buy that for a dollar (or pound, whatever)
 
2014-01-28 02:32:02 PM  

rockforever: The monarchy generates money, I don't think they'll have a problem.


Well, it is a problem- the bulk of the money the monarchy generates goes to the British government, which only gives them back a pretty small percentage. TFA didn't quite mention that part.
 
2014-01-28 02:32:03 PM  
I always thought the Royal family technically owned most of the land.
 
2014-01-28 02:32:27 PM  
gofundqueen?
 
2014-01-28 02:33:33 PM  
Trying real hard to care.... .. trying... trying... nope.. don't give a fark.
 
2014-01-28 02:33:42 PM  
She's just another poor nazi itching to topple the ruling class.
 
2014-01-28 02:33:56 PM  

EViLTeW: comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.

I'd buy that for a dollar (or pound, whatever)


You'd pound that for a dollar?

/me, too
 
2014-01-28 02:34:16 PM  

comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.


Pippa the Strippa?  I smell a meme coming on!


/uh huh huh I said "coming"
 
2014-01-28 02:34:19 PM  
Sounds like it's time to get back to work...
economyincrisis.org
 
2014-01-28 02:34:58 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
We are f**kin' serious!
Cough up some more cash or we shant bust anymore champagne bottles on your new goddamn marine vessels!
 
2014-01-28 02:36:02 PM  
Also down to her last million pounds....

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-28 02:36:16 PM  

EViLTeW: comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.

I'd buy

pound that for a dollar (or pound buy, whatever)

FTFY
 
2014-01-28 02:36:36 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I wish she would just abolish the monarchy before Charles and Camilla get in there. Just get rid of it, give all the holdings to the state and take off to some distant part of the Commonwealth.

Charles is a complete idiot. He has all the intelligence and charm of Prince Philip combined with the ego of his distant relative the Kaiser. Let the royalty go before it loses its shine completely.


'twould be killing the proverbial golden goose.  What do you think we Americans travel to England for?  The weather?
 
2014-01-28 02:36:40 PM  
Yeah, like a million pounds of gold, amiright?! High five!
 
2014-01-28 02:37:40 PM  
The queen should do porn.  I'd pay a few quid to watch her get her rocks off on a sybian.  Think she royally squirts?  Call it Royal O's.
 
2014-01-28 02:37:41 PM  
Do you want fries with that, peasant?
rasica.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-28 02:41:25 PM  
I hear that the Iron Bank of Braavos  offers great interest rates for monarchies in need some some quick cash.
 
2014-01-28 02:43:08 PM  

Copper Spork: Don't forget that she has to pay for diplomatic visits and all those castles out of her own pocket, whilst the government pinched all her income.


Sure, she pays for all of that out of her own pocket....after the government gives her an allowance of 31 million pounds (36 million next year).
 
2014-01-28 02:43:52 PM  
She has a personal fortune of nearly half a Billion dollars so she can buy her own goddamn boiler.
 
2014-01-28 02:44:40 PM  
A million pounds?!  That's a billion stones... or like 10 boulders.

They weigh babies in gravel.
 
2014-01-28 02:45:45 PM  

offacue: The queen should do porn.  I'd pay a few quid to watch her get her rocks off on a sybian.  Think she royally squirts?  Call it Royal O's.


Thanks. Just made an appointment for a lobotomy to have that image scraped from my mind!
 
2014-01-28 02:47:58 PM  

LessO2: Also down to her last million pounds....

[img.fark.net image 615x929]


That's no moon...
 
2014-01-28 02:50:41 PM  

offacue: The queen should do porn.  I'd pay a few quid to watch her get her rocks off on a sybian.  Think she royally squirts?  Call it Royal O's.


I doubt the dried-up old biddy has enough moisture in her to spare.
 
2014-01-28 02:51:30 PM  
How about fire the royal homeopath?

// inbread nuts.
 
2014-01-28 03:00:29 PM  

wildcardjack: I always thought the Royal family technically owned most of the land.


The Royal Family owns about $13 billion worth of property and resources. Since 1760 they have ceded control of and the income generated from those properties to the government in exchange for use of the facilities and a portion of the revenue from the properties as income.
 
2014-01-28 03:10:02 PM  
If the monarch wants to raises money, she could tell parliament put a small tax on tea, when it arrive in port. Every british person drinks tea.  What could possibly go wrong?
 
2014-01-28 03:11:23 PM  
Yo Brits, just chop all their heads off and be done with the last vestiges of your brutal and tyrannical past. It's pathetic that you've held onto the remnants  of your oppression for so long.
 
2014-01-28 03:14:28 PM  
Well... I'll help out. Perhaps she could do some odd jobs for me.

What are your qualifications... your highness?

I was born and I can wave!

Thank you... neeeeext?
 
2014-01-28 03:22:30 PM  
Has she thought about holding a garage sale?  There's probably lots of old, dusty suits of armor and whatnot up in the attic she could unload for a few bucks some weekend.
 
2014-01-28 03:24:19 PM  
She shouldn't have invested it all in Canadian railway stock.
 
2014-01-28 03:25:43 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Sure, I'll loan them the money. I'd need some collateral until the note is paid off, though.
[weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com image 320x426]

She needs to leave the toddler back home/




i.dailymail.co.uk

images.dailystar-uk.co.uk

4.bp.blogspot.com

She does have nice pins.
 
2014-01-28 03:30:14 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-28 03:38:25 PM  
She and others seem to believe she is the largest landowner in the world maybe it's time to sell it to the people that live in the places she claims to own for pennies on the acre.
 
2014-01-28 03:43:15 PM  
FTFA:
Britons gave their monarch £31 million via the Sovereign Grant, cash earmarked for the queen's official duties, and that can be used for the maintenance of palaces and the salaries of staff, among other things. That figure is set to rise to £36.1 million for 2013-14 and to £37.9 million in 2014-15

So she's really just a...

Puts on sunglasses

...welfare queen.  Yeah!!!!
 
2014-01-28 03:46:51 PM  
We mean it maaaaaaaaannn...
 
2014-01-28 04:10:56 PM  
The Royal Household generated £11.6 million last year, more than double the £6.7 million in revenue it was bringing in a half decade ago.

That's some fine maths right there.
 
2014-01-28 04:13:44 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Sure, I'll loan them the money. I'd need some collateral until the note is paid off, though.
[weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com image 320x426]

She needs to leave the toddler back home/


I will furiously £ that for a $ and the person who gets me off that will be future King of England.
 
2014-01-28 04:27:16 PM  
It's hard to stay super duper extra weathly when your your family isn't stealing from its subjects anymore
 
2014-01-28 04:29:40 PM  
I don't find this all that sad. Can someone explain what the monarchy brings to the table in terms of...Well anything (especially in this day and age)? I thought the whole family just sat around, drank, and participated in as many scandals as possible. I read somewhere many of them had alcohol issues because they really don't have jobs.

/Lived in England 3 years...
//Saw the Queen once
 
2014-01-28 04:35:33 PM  

Remarkable_Anus: I don't find this all that sad. Can someone explain what the monarchy brings to the table in terms of...Well anything (especially in this day and age)? I thought the whole family just sat around, drank, and participated in as many scandals as possible. I read somewhere many of them had alcohol issues because they really don't have jobs.

/Lived in England 3 years...
//Saw the Queen once


To be fair they bring in a lot of tourist $$$.
 
2014-01-28 04:42:08 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: Remarkable_Anus: I don't find this all that sad. Can someone explain what the monarchy brings to the table in terms of...Well anything (especially in this day and age)? I thought the whole family just sat around, drank, and participated in as many scandals as possible. I read somewhere many of them had alcohol issues because they really don't have jobs.

/Lived in England 3 years...
//Saw the Queen once

To be fair they bring in a lot of tourist $$$.


This post gave you all the answers you or anyone else needs about the financial boon that the royals are to Britain and how little they cost compared to how much they rake in for the country's coffers.

http://www.fark.com/comments/8119629/88968166#c88968166
 
2014-01-28 04:57:49 PM  
Last million pounds in her reserve fund.
Sheesh.

The family's total wealth (land, property, homes, jewelry, etc.) is still about a billion pounds.
 
2014-01-28 05:00:01 PM  

Bad_ad85: "To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"
"To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"
"To be clear, her financial portfolio holds a good deal more than that,"


The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothchilds, AND Colonel Sanders before he went tits up
 
2014-01-28 05:01:38 PM  

nilla: The Royal Household generated £11.6 million last year, more than double the £6.7 million in revenue it was bringing in a half decade ago.

That's some fine maths right there.


F*cking metric system...
 
2014-01-28 05:03:24 PM  
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, man, I'd love being able to yell at her for either not supersizing my fries or farking up my Happy Meal!!!
"You know, I was once queen of jolly old England"
"That's nice, Skeletor, now get back to bagging my groceries. And me and the rest of my Scottish and Irish brethren hope you die broke and forgotten in a gas station bathroom"
"My wud!!! You CAD!!!!"

Gotta wonder if this means she's gonna have to live in a poor, yet gentrified neighborhood like much of England. Pretty sure she's not to terribly fond of Blacks, Indians or Arabs.
 
2014-01-28 05:09:38 PM  

comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.


She's not a royal. She's the skanky sister of a girl who happened to marry a royal. Kate and Harry, on the other hand...
 
2014-01-28 05:15:48 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I wish she would just abolish the monarchy before Charles and Camilla get in there. Just get rid of it, give all the holdings to the state and take off to some distant part of the Commonwealth.

Charles is a complete idiot. He has all the intelligence and charm of Prince Philip combined with the ego of his distant relative the Kaiser. Let the royalty go before it loses its shine completely.


Actually, by all accounts, Prince Philip is very charming, very intelligent, and very, VERY funny (in the most raunchy way imaginable. Seriously, I would love to sit down and have a beer with Prince Philip--the man is one of the funniest people on the planet according to everyone who's met him). The ego bit is spot on though, but charm and intelligence, you'd be better off comparing him to his brother... the whining idiot that thinks his kids deserve bodyguards, limos and free airfare everywhere because they're special little snowflake princesses that are like tenth in line to the throne.
 
2014-01-28 05:16:48 PM  

nilla: The Royal Household generated £11.6 million last year, more than double the £6.7 million in revenue it was bringing in a half decade ago.

That's some fine maths right there.


Inflation puts £6.7M in 2009 as £11.3M in 2014, so yes, the £11.6M is, indeed, more than double in real value
 
2014-01-28 05:18:31 PM  

seek3r: nilla: The Royal Household generated £11.6 million last year, more than double the £6.7 million in revenue it was bringing in a half decade ago.

That's some fine maths right there.

Inflation puts £6.7M in 2009 as £11.3M in 2014, so yes, the £11.6M is, indeed, more than double in real value


Aaaand then I failed math completely, ignore that comment, I really somehow read that simply as "more", despite typing the double

/don't do math and drink
 
2014-01-28 05:34:26 PM  

Aigoo: comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.

She's not a royal. She's the skanky sister of a girl who happened to marry a royal. Kate and Harry, on the other hand...


I didn't say anything about helping out the royals, I just think Pippa would make a great stripper.
 
2014-01-28 06:22:48 PM  

Aigoo: comslave: They could hire out Pippa as a stripper.

She's not a royal. She's the skanky sister of a girl who happened to marry a royal. Kate and Harry, on the other hand...


A royal-in-law?
 
2014-01-28 06:38:40 PM  

Remarkable_Anus: I don't find this all that sad. Can someone explain what the monarchy brings to the table in terms of...Well anything (especially in this day and age)? I thought the whole family just sat around, drank, and participated in as many scandals as possible. I read somewhere many of them had alcohol issues because they really don't have jobs.


That statement pretty applies to the whole of Britain.
 
2014-01-28 07:51:47 PM  
queen in playboy in 5...4..3...2...


you know you'll fap to it royally

royally!
 
2014-01-28 10:38:27 PM  
Sad? More like hilarious.
 
2014-01-29 10:47:03 AM  

seek3r: seek3r: nilla: The Royal Household generated £11.6 million last year, more than double the £6.7 million in revenue it was bringing in a half decade ago.

That's some fine maths right there.

Inflation puts £6.7M in 2009 as £11.3M in 2014, so yes, the £11.6M is, indeed, more than double in real value


Damn... I shoulda invested in fancy L's in 2009

Aaaand then I failed math completely, ignore that comment, I really somehow read that simply as "more", despite typing the double

/don't do math and drink


Explains my difficulty with calculus in the 80's.
 
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