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(The Local)   Parents keep children at home after receiving hoax text messages that elementary schools were to teach "masturbation lessons"   (thelocal.fr) divider line 20
    More: Fail, elementary schools, lessons, Frenchmen  
•       •       •

4300 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 2:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-28 03:03:12 PM  
5 votes:
"That's right little Samantha. A nice slow circular motion, just like spreading finger paint."

"Ok boys, one of the most important things that you will learn is that you will not always have pornographic images available to you every time you need to fire one off. It is VITALLY important that you collect a substantial amount of data for your mental database that includes memories of every jiggling ass and nice pair of tits that you see during the day. This is what you will be using for stimulation when you can't get to your laptop."


"No, we CAN'T use super glue when we run out of Jergens. That's an excellent question, Andy."
2014-01-28 02:58:00 PM  
3 votes:

Salmon: I didn't need lessons


Are you sure? I mean, think about it... Maybe you've been jerking off wrong your whole life and you just don't know it.
2014-01-28 05:20:55 PM  
2 votes:

Molavian: I jerk off by slamming the toilet seat lid on my wang like everyone else.


Damn! I knew I was doing it wrong. At least now I will save money on fly paper.
2014-01-28 04:21:13 PM  
2 votes:
www.superofficialnews.com

No, really.
2014-01-29 02:03:35 AM  
1 votes:
www.troll.me
2014-01-28 07:58:45 PM  
1 votes:
Well, they may not be teaching to fap, but, the article mentions "headteachers", so somebody is teaching them to give head, which is, of course, worse.
2014-01-28 06:03:41 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-28 05:23:21 PM  
1 votes:

studebaker hoch: No, really.


How cute. A dolphin mascot. One of the few species documented performing masturbation and inter-species rape.

They should have picked a t-Rex. Would have made more sense.
2014-01-28 04:57:15 PM  
1 votes:
I jerk off by slamming the toilet seat lid on my wang like everyone else.
2014-01-28 04:38:30 PM  
1 votes:
Kids these days have the internet.  They dont really need instructions.  At best they might need lube.
2014-01-28 03:21:48 PM  
1 votes:
Clip from the instructional video:

i162.photobucket.com
2014-01-28 03:18:33 PM  
1 votes:

Boo_Guy: Was this to be a hands on in-class assignment or a homework thing?


you had to show your work

the proof is in the pudding
2014-01-28 03:17:08 PM  
1 votes:

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 600x437]


i remember i was about 9 and went to the dali museum in st. pete and wanted to show how smart i was so when we got to a different painting i pointed out to the guide and the tour group that i recognized the "grand masturbator" motif in this painting too!

they all smiled, a few might have even laughed in disbelief that i could be so observant at such a young age, and i was so proud of myself and happy that they recognized just how smart i really was
2014-01-28 03:08:57 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-28 03:08:52 PM  
1 votes:
So these text messages rubbed them the wrong way?
2014-01-28 03:02:02 PM  
1 votes:

TinyFist: Salmon: I didn't need lessons

Are you sure? I mean, think about it... Maybe you've been jerking off wrong your whole life and you just don't know it.


... I mean yeah maybe.

These are the things that keep me up at night
2014-01-28 02:58:58 PM  
1 votes:
That sounds like a job for Ohio state troopers.
2014-01-28 02:53:48 PM  
1 votes:
Kids, I cannot allow the school to teach you such a filthy habit like masturbation.

That's my job.

Let's get started...
2014-01-28 02:50:39 PM  
1 votes:
were they doing it wrong?
2014-01-28 02:50:33 PM  
1 votes:
Maximum trolling achieved.
 
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