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(Huffington Post)   'God caught' skydiving teen and saved her life, apparently having changed his mind after screwing with her parachute   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 33
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9192 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 2:50 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-28 01:16:27 PM
6 votes:
After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.
2014-01-28 03:01:27 PM
4 votes:

Warlordtrooper: God is kind of an asshole isn't he?



Not only that, but he kind of sucks at catching people, if they still suffer broken bones and internal injuries.

Plus, when you think of all the kids being shot, blown up, tortured, raped, etc, around the world at any given time, you have to wonder why he chooses to save some teen who was intentionally jumping out of an airplane.
2014-01-28 03:58:25 PM
3 votes:

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


Yet when 1 in 10 people (who are made in God's image, BTW) turns out to be gay = "God hates homosexuals."

Funny how "It was all part of God's Plan!" doesn't apply to people they hate.
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM
3 votes:
Can a religious person please explain, with yes/no answers, which of the following god is responsible for:

- bad packing of the chute (I am assuming the primary cause of failure)
- partial deployment of the chute (even a badly packed chute may deploy properly (or close enough))
- partial deployment in such a way that she spins and cannot follow the instructions to deploy the reserve
- the degree of deployment of the primary such that her impact velocity breaks bones
- the medical treatment provided by doctors leading to her recovery

Religious people just seem to know what parts god is responsible for ... if you would be kind enough to help out then maybe the rest of us could understand.
2014-01-28 02:57:35 PM
3 votes:
God is kind of an asshole isn't he?
2014-01-28 01:29:57 PM
3 votes:
Thrill sports are thrilling because there is a small but easily quantifiable chance of really getting hurt or killed. The people who don't realize this are stupid.

I always see these cases where they claimed God saved them and think, "You were on your way to heaven, seconds away from going to be happy with God for all eternity, and He rejected you. Clearly, He doesn't want you in heaven."
2014-01-28 01:15:42 PM
3 votes:
FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."



It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.
2014-01-28 04:16:43 PM
2 votes:

faultytower: After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.


Let's be honest. You started there. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.
2014-01-28 03:30:43 PM
2 votes:
Are Assad and Kim Jong Un still alive? Yes, so fark off, you twunts with this "God saved this random, mundane moron's life" crap.
2014-01-28 03:27:01 PM
2 votes:

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


I hate that.  He has no plan and is pretty clearly making this shiat up as he goes along, just like the rest of us.
2014-01-28 03:19:17 PM
2 votes:
That's some awesome skydiving instructin' there, Bubba!

FAA/NTSB will be looking into whose licenses to suspend, I'm sure.

 Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

Yeah, I call sketchy. It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression? Precious few details in that article as to why the eff the instructor didn't jump with her if she was his student. Was her dad a student or an instructor? The instructor on the radio wasn't much help. It was a birthday jump, so I bet she should have had two instructors with her if it was AFF Jump #1. Or daddy paid special money for a special deluxe version of a jump.

This is why there are rules.

Also, the parachute worked insofar as it slowed her descent. If it hadn't worked, she'd be a corpse.
2014-01-28 03:11:41 PM
2 votes:
No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"
2014-01-28 02:56:21 PM
2 votes:

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


Either that or God is a total dick and wanted the teen to suffer since he is more than capable of stopping the fall according to Wethington.
2014-01-28 02:53:52 PM
2 votes:
you don't need a parachute to skydive, only if you want to be able to skydive more than once.
2014-01-29 12:01:59 PM
1 votes:

Stoker: Stoker: I can show you a nutjob, it's in the pic above.

If God caught her (as he obviously did not and pointed out by the Boobiess here) she would have landed softly on her feet. What a religious lunatic she is.
I hope she can enjoy the pain and suffering her recovery is going to be, because it's for God.

/There were better posts above, I just had to get mine in about how religion can cause immense stupidity, because it frustrates the fark out of me.
-=-
Boobiess?
I could have sworn I typed "pointed out by the first few posts here". I know I didn't write boobies.

/That was weird.


Whatever, pervert.
2014-01-28 06:54:27 PM
1 votes:
The theory is simple enough:
Start with a normal-sized chute, then use progressively smaller chutes on subsequent jumps. Eventually, you will get to the point where you won't need a parachute at all.
2014-01-28 05:20:12 PM
1 votes:
Ah, the lithobreaking technique.
2014-01-28 04:48:05 PM
1 votes:

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insha'Allah

which confuses me about muslims
EVERYTHING that happens to them is written by god.
WHY are they upset about the Israelis and Xians?
INSHALLAH !

God CLEARLY wanted the Israeli's to have Israel or else he would have given it to someone else.
DUH
2014-01-28 04:41:09 PM
1 votes:

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.



God tried to kill her.
Satan caught her.
2014-01-28 04:00:45 PM
1 votes:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: "She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."

Sounds more like he missed.


This.

You'll have to forgive her, she's being educated in Texas, where infernal sciency things like evolution and gravity are not taught in public schools. Also, dead isn't really dead if you have a bun in the oven.

Texas is so farking awesome, they have their own science that cares not for your elitist reason and logic!
2014-01-28 03:36:38 PM
1 votes:
god only catches me
masturbating
2014-01-28 03:33:05 PM
1 votes:

cowgirl toffee: red5ish: That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.

Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.

Nope... Jesus held him back.


"Jesus, let go I'm trying to jump" "No bro, I messed with the parachutes, you don't want to do that." "Dude, why?!"
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM
1 votes:

That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.


Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.
2014-01-28 03:17:28 PM
1 votes:
God catches about as well as Dez Bryant does in the playoffs.
2014-01-28 03:15:50 PM
1 votes:

medius: cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.
[img1.imagesbn.com image 260x402][wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 638x402]


What I though of then reading "Parachuting With Jesus"...

imagizer.imageshack.us
2014-01-28 03:09:33 PM
1 votes:

kidgenius: Dragonflew:

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


Why ask me? I was just clearing up who the scaredy-cat was.
2014-01-28 03:07:43 PM
1 votes:

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?
2014-01-28 03:07:33 PM
1 votes:
Parachutes are for people without sufficient faith.
2014-01-28 03:05:45 PM
1 votes:
If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?
2014-01-28 02:59:03 PM
1 votes:
he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?
2014-01-28 02:58:48 PM
1 votes:
God is saying "you are a very, very bad person so I'm going to scare the shiat out of you, smash you into the ground, and leave you broken and in agony".
2014-01-28 02:55:49 PM
1 votes:

haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?


her primary failed to deploy fully, she went into a spin, panicked and even though the grounds people over radio and instructors told her what to do and how to recover from spin and cut away and go to reserve she didn't. emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.
2014-01-28 02:23:18 PM
1 votes:
God does it for the lulz
 
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