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(Huffington Post)   'God caught' skydiving teen and saved her life, apparently having changed his mind after screwing with her parachute   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 106
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9202 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 2:50 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-28 01:15:42 PM  
FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."



It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.
 
2014-01-28 01:16:27 PM  
After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.
 
2014-01-28 01:29:57 PM  
Thrill sports are thrilling because there is a small but easily quantifiable chance of really getting hurt or killed. The people who don't realize this are stupid.

I always see these cases where they claimed God saved them and think, "You were on your way to heaven, seconds away from going to be happy with God for all eternity, and He rejected you. Clearly, He doesn't want you in heaven."
 
2014-01-28 01:34:36 PM  
Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?
 
2014-01-28 01:36:08 PM  

haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?


Yea yea yea, didn't read the article...
 
2014-01-28 02:15:57 PM  
 
2014-01-28 02:17:59 PM  

MrBallou: Thrill sports are thrilling because there is a small but easily quantifiable chance of really getting hurt or killed. The people who don't realize this are stupid missing out.


FTFY.
 
2014-01-28 02:23:18 PM  
God does it for the lulz
 
2014-01-28 02:52:45 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: God does it for the lulz


now i lay me down to sleep, pray the lord my soul to keep
please don't wake me 'fore i go go, you kept me hanging on like a yo yo
 
2014-01-28 02:53:52 PM  
you don't need a parachute to skydive, only if you want to be able to skydive more than once.
 
2014-01-28 02:54:21 PM  
Skydivers... God's very own puppets.
 
2014-01-28 02:55:49 PM  

haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?


her primary failed to deploy fully, she went into a spin, panicked and even though the grounds people over radio and instructors told her what to do and how to recover from spin and cut away and go to reserve she didn't. emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.
 
2014-01-28 02:56:00 PM  
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."

Sounds more like he missed.
 
2014-01-28 02:56:21 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


Either that or God is a total dick and wanted the teen to suffer since he is more than capable of stopping the fall according to Wethington.
 
2014-01-28 02:57:35 PM  
God is kind of an asshole isn't he?
 
2014-01-28 02:58:43 PM  

aseras: emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-28 02:58:48 PM  
God is saying "you are a very, very bad person so I'm going to scare the shiat out of you, smash you into the ground, and leave you broken and in agony".
 
2014-01-28 02:59:03 PM  
he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?
 
2014-01-28 03:01:27 PM  

Warlordtrooper: God is kind of an asshole isn't he?


Jump out of an airplane, and you're kinda asking for it.
 
2014-01-28 03:01:27 PM  

Warlordtrooper: God is kind of an asshole isn't he?



Not only that, but he kind of sucks at catching people, if they still suffer broken bones and internal injuries.

Plus, when you think of all the kids being shot, blown up, tortured, raped, etc, around the world at any given time, you have to wonder why he chooses to save some teen who was intentionally jumping out of an airplane.
 
2014-01-28 03:03:17 PM  
Have a look at all you geniuses. Finding holes in the sister's God story. Good for you.

FTA: The guy with the radio on the ground is trying to talk her out of what's going on and telling her what to do and she can't do it," Joe Wethington told CNN. "She's going too fast and in different directions she can't reach up and grab it anyway and then when she goes into the spiral he keeps telling her to cut away to release the shoot and to pull the reserve."

I'm guessing that didn't happen or happened way too late? Hence the big THUD when she hit the ground. The farnarkling article doesn't elaborate, of course.

It absolutely reeks of a lack of training, and/or of someone not emotionally mature enough "under fire" to deal with a chute failure.

// where I'm from I think it's L-A-W law that n00bs have to do several tandem jumps strapped to an instructor before being allowed to go solo
// or maybe the jump schools' insurance companies won't cover solo n00b jumps?
 
2014-01-28 03:05:03 PM  

That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?


You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.
 
2014-01-28 03:05:45 PM  
If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?
 
2014-01-28 03:07:31 PM  

KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?


She was already tied to god.
 
2014-01-28 03:07:33 PM  
Parachutes are for people without sufficient faith.
 
2014-01-28 03:07:43 PM  

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?
 
2014-01-28 03:09:33 PM  

kidgenius: Dragonflew:

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


Why ask me? I was just clearing up who the scaredy-cat was.
 
2014-01-28 03:10:49 PM  

faultytower: After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.


Especially when he just let this guy get mashed up on the side of the grand canyon yesterday
http://calgary.ctvnews.ca/calgary-doctor-killed-in-grand-canyon-base -j umping-fall-1.1658027
 
2014-01-28 03:11:40 PM  

cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.

img1.imagesbn.comwp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-28 03:11:41 PM  
No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"
 
2014-01-28 03:11:58 PM  

cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.


God's a bit of an ass.

"Yo, girl, I'm not gonna let your parachute open. Instead, I'm going to let you smash into the ground, sustaining serious injuries, but you will live. Oh, and you better thank me or I'll farking have the doctors give you the wrong dosage and kill you."
 
2014-01-28 03:13:30 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


God was distracted looking for his Zippo in Jesus' room. Dang kids're always borrowing the old man's lighter and never returning it!

i651.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-28 03:15:22 PM  

Dragonflew: kidgenius: Dragonflew:

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

Why ask me? I was just clearing up who the scaredy-cat was.

~

LOL! Fair point, too.


WANTED FOR QUESTIONING:
i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-28 03:15:50 PM  

medius: cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.
[img1.imagesbn.com image 260x402][wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 638x402]


What I though of then reading "Parachuting With Jesus"...

imagizer.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-28 03:17:08 PM  

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Oooooh, there were TWO other people supposed to jump with them, but one freaked out so the other, the instructor, stayed behind as well. That makes so much more sense. Total of four people supposed to jump. Got it. If only there was some sort of oversight position in journalism with the job of making sure articles are clear and well written. As this person would make edits to articles, we could call them "changers" or "modifiers" or something like that.

Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.
 
2014-01-28 03:17:22 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


sounds like, if anything, God Buckner'ed her, he just slowed her down a bit
 
2014-01-28 03:17:28 PM  
God catches about as well as Dez Bryant does in the playoffs.
 
2014-01-28 03:18:13 PM  

kidgenius: Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


No, you can do static line jumps for your first one.  Three of those (from 3500 ft) and then you go up to 5000 ft for your first 5 second delay jump.  Exit the plane, wait 5 seconds, deploy chute.

What doesn't make sense to me is why her AAD didn't fire at 1500', cut the main, and deploy the reserve.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:04 PM  
Dear MTV: For my Super Sweet 16th birthday I want to go skydiving.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:17 PM  
That's some awesome skydiving instructin' there, Bubba!

FAA/NTSB will be looking into whose licenses to suspend, I'm sure.

 Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

Yeah, I call sketchy. It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression? Precious few details in that article as to why the eff the instructor didn't jump with her if she was his student. Was her dad a student or an instructor? The instructor on the radio wasn't much help. It was a birthday jump, so I bet she should have had two instructors with her if it was AFF Jump #1. Or daddy paid special money for a special deluxe version of a jump.

This is why there are rules.

Also, the parachute worked insofar as it slowed her descent. If it hadn't worked, she'd be a corpse.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:46 PM  
LOGAN TITTLE I have your email address!
 
2014-01-28 03:20:41 PM  
No, no, no! The DEBIL made her chute fail. God prevented her from dying afterwords. Stupid atheists.
 
2014-01-28 03:21:05 PM  

medius: cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.
[img1.imagesbn.com image 260x402][wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 638x402]


She had the knot in her.
 
2014-01-28 03:21:54 PM  
Maybe she can get some money back for the parachute on eBay?

For sale: One parachute. Never opened. Small stain.
 
2014-01-28 03:22:41 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression?


AFF from 3500' and with only one instructor?

Uh, no.  That's static line.
 
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM  
Can a religious person please explain, with yes/no answers, which of the following god is responsible for:

- bad packing of the chute (I am assuming the primary cause of failure)
- partial deployment of the chute (even a badly packed chute may deploy properly (or close enough))
- partial deployment in such a way that she spins and cannot follow the instructions to deploy the reserve
- the degree of deployment of the primary such that her impact velocity breaks bones
- the medical treatment provided by doctors leading to her recovery

Religious people just seem to know what parts god is responsible for ... if you would be kind enough to help out then maybe the rest of us could understand.
 
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM  

That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.


Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:01 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


I hate that.  He has no plan and is pretty clearly making this shiat up as he goes along, just like the rest of us.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:08 PM  

Farking Canuck: Can a religious person please explain, with yes/no answers, which of the following god is responsible for:

- bad packing of the chute (I am assuming the primary cause of failure)  Yes
- partial deployment of the chute (even a badly packed chute may deploy properly (or close enough)) Yes
- partial deployment in such a way that she spins and cannot follow the instructions to deploy the reserve  Yes
- the degree of deployment of the primary such that her impact velocity breaks bones  Yes
- the medical treatment provided by doctors leading to her recovery  No


Bam.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:15 PM  

red5ish: That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.

Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.


Nope... Jesus held him back.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:22 PM  

jbuist: What doesn't make sense to me is why her AAD didn't fire at 1500', cut the main, and deploy the reserve.


She may not have been falling fast enough. She did survive impact.
 
2014-01-28 03:28:26 PM  

kidgenius: Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


On student loads you need to have a jump master / instructor to look after the students and a pilot to fly the plane and they can't be the same person (each is enough to worry about.) If a student doesn't jump the instructor should ride down too to help make their gear safe for a descent in the plane, help them get buckled back in for landing, help in case there is an aircraft emergency on the way down, etc.

It's not illegal to jump solo on your first jump. Judging by the 3500 ft altitude and the photo of the Cessna in the article I'm assuming this was a static-line jump which is a very common way of learning to skydive. The fact that she had a malfunction, likely froze up doing absolutely nothing to improve the situation, and still survived the incident speaks more to the safety of skydiving than it does to the dangers of it.
 
2014-01-28 03:29:12 PM  
Maybe God was answering her prayer about not having to take that Algebra test on Wednesday.
 
2014-01-28 03:29:15 PM  
So a god caught her? But just enough so to have her seriously wounded... a bit malicious.

Or maybe there was no god... maybe there was no malice... maybe she fell and her partially released chute slowed her fall enough that she survived, but with some serious injuries.
 
2014-01-28 03:29:35 PM  
deeperintomovies.net
/Obscure?
 
2014-01-28 03:30:43 PM  
Are Assad and Kim Jong Un still alive? Yes, so fark off, you twunts with this "God saved this random, mundane moron's life" crap.
 
2014-01-28 03:33:05 PM  

cowgirl toffee: red5ish: That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.

Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.

Nope... Jesus held him back.


"Jesus, let go I'm trying to jump" "No bro, I messed with the parachutes, you don't want to do that." "Dude, why?!"
 
2014-01-28 03:33:26 PM  
Didn't she know that if you don't have a working parachute, you look for Bohdi?

www.imfdb.org
 
2014-01-28 03:33:56 PM  

champu: On student loads you need to have a jump master / instructor to look after the students and a pilot to fly the plane and they can't be the same person (each is enough to worry about.) If a student doesn't jump the instructor should ride down too to help make their gear safe for a descent in the plane, help them get buckled back in for landing, help in case there is an aircraft emergency on the way down, etc.

It's not illegal to jump solo on your first jump. Judging by the 3500 ft altitude and the photo of the Cessna in the article I'm assuming this was a static-line jump which is a very common way of learning to skydive. The fact that she had a malfunction, likely froze up doing absolutely nothing to improve the situation, and still survived the incident speaks more to the safety of skydiving than it does to the dangers of it.


Thanks for the clarification.

One other question...wouldn't it make sense to have 2 instructors on any jump, that way one can assist the people in the sky, and the other assist the people staying in the plane? Heck, the guy that stays in the plane probably doesn't have to even keep a chute on. He would really be there just to assist.
 
2014-01-28 03:35:51 PM  

champu: On student loads you need to have a jump master / instructor to look after the students and a pilot to fly the plane and they can't be the same person (each is enough to worry about.) If a student doesn't jump the instructor should ride down too to help make their gear safe for a descent in the plane, help them get buckled back in for landing, help in case there is an aircraft emergency on the way down, etc.

It's not illegal to jump solo on your first jump. Judging by the 3500 ft altitude and the photo of the Cessna in the article I'm assuming this was a static-line jump which is a very common way of learning to skydive. The fact that she had a malfunction, likely froze up doing absolutely nothing to improve the situation, and still survived the incident speaks more to the safety of skydiving than it does to the dangers of it.


This describes my first jump. But all of our group went so the jump master went with us (jumping last). So there isn't really any free-fall. You jump, have a second or two to crap your pants, and are then yanked up by the chute for a very quiet ride down.

I had a line-twist (very minor malfunction). They gave me instructions via the one-way radio on how to clear it. Actually they kept ordering me to turn before they figured out I had a malfunction. I was clearing on my own anyway ... they gave us instructions during the training for that one.
 
2014-01-28 03:35:53 PM  

Dragonflew: Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Sounds like the instructor's an idiot.

You're not a parachutist until your ass exits the plane. If you don't exit the plane, you don't need a skydiving instructor, you need an pilot.
 
2014-01-28 03:36:38 PM  
god only catches me
masturbating
 
2014-01-28 03:41:05 PM  
In 30 years when this kid is the next Hitler, you'll realize who really saved her
 
2014-01-28 03:42:13 PM  

bhcompy: In 30 years when this kid is the next Hitler, you'll realize who really saved her


Will parachutists be forced to wear armbands?
 
2014-01-28 03:42:36 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-28 03:42:57 PM  

medius: god only catches me
masturbating


Where is your god now?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-28 03:44:00 PM  

kidgenius: One other question...wouldn't it make sense to have 2 instructors on any jump, that way one can assist the people in the sky, and the other assist the people staying in the plane? Heck, the guy that stays in the plane probably doesn't have to even keep a chute on. He would really be there just to assist.


I am not sure the instructors can really do anything once you are in the air. He/she could never match the speed of a partially deployed chute and they wouldn't want to get close anyway. They are there to control the group while in the plane and to ensure proper deployment of the jumpers.

From my experience, there is a ground crew with radios and binoculars to offer instructions/help to beginner groups. From the article it sounds like they were radioing instructions but she could not follow them because of the spin she was in.

Likely one side of the chute deployed but the other was pulled in ... it explains the fact that enough of the chute was up so that she fell slow enough to survive (leaving god out of it for the moment) and it explains the spin.
 
2014-01-28 03:45:44 PM  

The Southern Dandy: medius: god only catches me
masturbating

Where is your god now?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 320x320]


Laying right beside him... moving his hand up and down... up and down...
 
2014-01-28 03:54:47 PM  

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


I wonder how often that happens...backing out at altitude, that is.
 
2014-01-28 03:55:56 PM  

kidgenius: Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


May be illegal, but it's Darwin approved
 
2014-01-28 03:58:25 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


Yet when 1 in 10 people (who are made in God's image, BTW) turns out to be gay = "God hates homosexuals."

Funny how "It was all part of God's Plan!" doesn't apply to people they hate.
 
2014-01-28 03:59:00 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


I dunno, it depends on how high she bounced...
 
2014-01-28 04:00:45 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: "She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."

Sounds more like he missed.


This.

You'll have to forgive her, she's being educated in Texas, where infernal sciency things like evolution and gravity are not taught in public schools. Also, dead isn't really dead if you have a bun in the oven.

Texas is so farking awesome, they have their own science that cares not for your elitist reason and logic!
 
2014-01-28 04:03:44 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Texas, where infernal sciency things like evolution and gravity are not taught in public schools.


Whoa, whoa, whoa there pal. Gravity is just a theory!!!
 
2014-01-28 04:10:46 PM  
So the whole web page is after the jump?
 
2014-01-28 04:16:43 PM  

faultytower: After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.


Let's be honest. You started there. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.
 
2014-01-28 04:18:46 PM  

jbuist: kidgenius: Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

No, you can do static line jumps for your first one.  Three of those (from 3500 ft) and then you go up to 5000 ft for your first 5 second delay jump.  Exit the plane, wait 5 seconds, deploy chute.

What doesn't make sense to me is why her AAD didn't fire at 1500', cut the main, and deploy the reserve.


I jumped with two instructors from 13,500 my first time. It was an AFF in Zephyrhills, FL. I was not tethered nor touched the entire freefall. I did a few practice grabs, right turns, left turns, then pulled at about 6,000 ft. I think the static line/tandem requirement probably varies by state. I think I did one or two more with two instructors, then only one instructor, then went solo on my 7th.

That said, my first low jump from 3500 ft scared the ever loving shiat out of me.
 
2014-01-28 04:37:02 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


If I win the lottery, I'm going to thank Harry Potter for making it possible.
 
2014-01-28 04:40:36 PM  

s2s2s2: faultytower: After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.

Let's be honest. You started there. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.


Maybe they started with God doesn't exist.
 
2014-01-28 04:41:09 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.



God tried to kill her.
Satan caught her.
 
2014-01-28 04:42:17 PM  

aseras: haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?

her primary failed to deploy fully, she went into a spin, panicked and even though the grounds people over radio and instructors told her what to do and how to recover from spin and cut away and go to reserve she didn't. emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.


oh you win
you win the internet today
I cant stop laughing.
 
2014-01-28 04:45:02 PM  
I thought whatever God catches, He keeps? I guess she's not a rabbi.
 
2014-01-28 04:47:31 PM  

Farking Canuck: Smelly Pirate Hooker: Texas, where infernal sciency things like evolution and gravity are not taught in public schools.

Whoa, whoa, whoa there pal. Gravity is just a theory!!!


Technically correct. The best kind of correct.

/No, really. They have no idea what causes it.
 
2014-01-28 04:48:05 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insha'Allah

which confuses me about muslims
EVERYTHING that happens to them is written by god.
WHY are they upset about the Israelis and Xians?
INSHALLAH !

God CLEARLY wanted the Israeli's to have Israel or else he would have given it to someone else.
DUH
 
2014-01-28 05:08:16 PM  
Sounds like a bad deployment, maybe a line-over. The article is lacking on details that I'm sure will come out soon in other articles, but I'm guessing her AAD deployed the reserve. The reserve saved her, but she was either too out-of-control because her main didn't get cut away, or she failed to PFD.

Either way, "God" had nothing to do with her jump. The safety standards of skydiving (I know, snark away) did.

/still working on my "A" license
 
2014-01-28 05:18:42 PM  

sxacho: I jumped with two instructors from 13,500 my first time. It was an AFF in Zephyrhills, FL. I was not tethered nor touched the entire freefall. I did a few practice grabs, right turns, left turns, then pulled at about 6,000 ft. I think the static line/tandem requirement probably varies by state. I think I did one or two more with two instructors, then only one instructor, then went solo on my 7th.

That said, my first low jump from 3500 ft scared the ever loving shiat out of me.


The requirements don't really vary by state, they vary facility to facility. Some places prefer you do a tandem and then take you through AFF, some will go straight to AFF, some do static-line... what works best is one of those ongoing debates and really it depends on what aircraft are available, how many instructors are available, and how a particular student learns best. Personally, I learned via a static-line progression.

I've read in this case the malfunction was a brake release on deployment and she rode it all the way into the ground. For the uninitiated, when the canopy is packed the two steering lines are pulled down in the 12-18" range and stowed that way. Short explanation for why is that it helps the deployment. But, if one of the steering lines gets knocked lose on deployment (sometimes it just happens, sometimes a person will reach up and knock one free inadvertantly) the canopy will start turning / spiraling. It's easy enough to fix, you just grab both of the steering lines, pull them down (which will release the unreleased side) and you're good to go. If that doesn't work, it's possible there's something else wrong that you're not seeing so you get rid of it and use your reserve. If you freeze up or panic though, nothing is easy. If it was indeed a brake release and she was jumping a student canopy from 3500 ft, she was probably spinning under that thing for about a minute. That's a long time to stare at a problem in anything aviation related.
 
2014-01-28 05:19:53 PM  

WaywardSon: Sounds like a bad deployment, maybe a line-over. The article is lacking on details that I'm sure will come out soon in other articles, but I'm guessing her AAD deployed the reserve. The reserve saved her, but she was either too out-of-control because her main didn't get cut away, or she failed to PFD.

Either way, "God" had nothing to do with her jump. The safety standards of skydiving (I know, snark away) did.

/still working on my "A" license


She failed. The video said she couldn't get her reserve open.
 
2014-01-28 05:20:12 PM  
Ah, the lithobreaking technique.
 
2014-01-28 05:32:05 PM  
How come God gets praised for 'catching' her while she still hits the ground but I get yelled at by my dad who promptly goes back inside and cries into his beer when I miss the ball?
 
2014-01-28 05:34:59 PM  
She fall through the holes in His hands?
 
2014-01-28 06:42:46 PM  

jbuist: HotIgneous Intruder: It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression?

AFF from 3500' and with only one instructor?

Uh, no.  That's static line.


Oh wow.
Yes, you're right.
I have bronchitis.
Several meds.
I'll just lie down over there...

/I know what I meant.
 
2014-01-28 06:54:27 PM  
The theory is simple enough:
Start with a normal-sized chute, then use progressively smaller chutes on subsequent jumps. Eventually, you will get to the point where you won't need a parachute at all.
 
2014-01-28 06:59:07 PM  

Fano: I thought whatever God catches, He keeps? I guess she's not a rabbi.


He threw her back because she was too small.
 
2014-01-28 07:00:42 PM  
Is this the same way that your god saved Paul Walker?

/Did she Tokyo drift into the ground?
 
2014-01-28 07:06:40 PM  
I'm sure that skydiving is well regulated in Oklahoma.

i90.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-28 07:50:50 PM  
i.huffpost.com

I'd hit it like a person that hits the ground after their parachute doesn't deploy.

/Surprised i'm the first

//maybe not... she said "god caught her" which may indicate craziness.

///DSYDIC
 
2014-01-28 08:47:39 PM  
I can show you a nutjob, it's in the pic above.

If God caught her (as he obviously did not and pointed out by the Boobiess here) she would have landed softly on her feet. What a religious lunatic she is.
I hope she can enjoy the pain and suffering her recovery is going to be, because it's for God.

/There were better posts above, I just had to get mine in about how religion can cause immense stupidity, because it frustrates the fark out of me.
 
2014-01-28 08:48:06 PM  
Matthew 4:1 Then was Jesus led up of the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. 4:2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. [...] 4:5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, 4:6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.  4:7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

---

"Tempt", here, means "test".  Jesus is not saying, "I am God; thou shalt not tempt me; get thee behind me, Satan."  He is saying, "No, no, that is tempting God and it is wrong to do that."  That is, you do not put yourself in a hopeless situation, as by jumping out of a perfectly good airplane off a cliff, and expect God to bail you out.
 
2014-01-28 08:58:05 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: "She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."

Sounds more like he missed.


She caught her on the rebound.
 
2014-01-28 09:59:48 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: It was a birthday jump, so I bet she should have had two instructors with her if it was AFF Jump #1.


How can you have 1 instructor for 2 or 3 students one of who is a first jump? Need to find out the DZ and make sure to mark it off the list. Obviously wasn't USPA.
 
2014-01-28 10:52:36 PM  
So, if God was caught here, did he/she/it just escape before?
 
2014-01-28 11:11:23 PM  

Savage Belief: No, no, no! The DEBIL made her chute fail. God prevented her from dying afterwords. Stupid atheists.


I thought the Devil just waited down below for us, cackling. But he's walking the earth. And probably driving too. Well, now that is depressing news. I should probably read my Bible more.
 
2014-01-28 11:12:54 PM  
I had a pretty bad line twist on my first solo from 13.5k. Threw the chute a little above 6k, kicked the twist out by ~3.5k, then wondered if I shiat myself all the way to the ground... That said, I can totally see how somebody could freak out during a malfunction and forget what to do, regardless of having "trained" for a few hours beforehand.
 
2014-01-29 01:07:59 AM  

akya: [i.huffpost.com image 570x458]

I'd hit it like a person that hits the ground after their parachute doesn't deploy.

/Surprised i'm the first

//maybe not... she said "god caught her" which may indicate craziness.

///DSYDIC


Ya you beat me to it
/also surprised you were the first
 
2014-01-29 11:46:37 AM  

Stoker: I can show you a nutjob, it's in the pic above.

If God caught her (as he obviously did not and pointed out by the Boobiess here) she would have landed softly on her feet. What a religious lunatic she is.
I hope she can enjoy the pain and suffering her recovery is going to be, because it's for God.

/There were better posts above, I just had to get mine in about how religion can cause immense stupidity, because it frustrates the fark out of me.

-=-
Boobiess?
I could have sworn I typed "pointed out by the first few posts here". I know I didn't write boobies.

/That was weird.
 
2014-01-29 12:01:59 PM  

Stoker: Stoker: I can show you a nutjob, it's in the pic above.

If God caught her (as he obviously did not and pointed out by the Boobiess here) she would have landed softly on her feet. What a religious lunatic she is.
I hope she can enjoy the pain and suffering her recovery is going to be, because it's for God.

/There were better posts above, I just had to get mine in about how religion can cause immense stupidity, because it frustrates the fark out of me.
-=-
Boobiess?
I could have sworn I typed "pointed out by the first few posts here". I know I didn't write boobies.

/That was weird.


Whatever, pervert.
 
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