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(Huffington Post)   'God caught' skydiving teen and saved her life, apparently having changed his mind after screwing with her parachute   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 106
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9202 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 2:50 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-28 01:15:42 PM  
FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."



It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.
 
2014-01-28 01:16:27 PM  
After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.
 
2014-01-28 01:29:57 PM  
Thrill sports are thrilling because there is a small but easily quantifiable chance of really getting hurt or killed. The people who don't realize this are stupid.

I always see these cases where they claimed God saved them and think, "You were on your way to heaven, seconds away from going to be happy with God for all eternity, and He rejected you. Clearly, He doesn't want you in heaven."
 
2014-01-28 01:34:36 PM  
Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?
 
2014-01-28 01:36:08 PM  

haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?


Yea yea yea, didn't read the article...
 
2014-01-28 02:15:57 PM  
 
2014-01-28 02:17:59 PM  

MrBallou: Thrill sports are thrilling because there is a small but easily quantifiable chance of really getting hurt or killed. The people who don't realize this are stupid missing out.


FTFY.
 
2014-01-28 02:23:18 PM  
God does it for the lulz
 
2014-01-28 02:52:45 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: God does it for the lulz


now i lay me down to sleep, pray the lord my soul to keep
please don't wake me 'fore i go go, you kept me hanging on like a yo yo
 
2014-01-28 02:53:52 PM  
you don't need a parachute to skydive, only if you want to be able to skydive more than once.
 
2014-01-28 02:54:21 PM  
Skydivers... God's very own puppets.
 
2014-01-28 02:55:49 PM  

haemaker: Did the backup chute also fail, or are she and her dad idiots?


her primary failed to deploy fully, she went into a spin, panicked and even though the grounds people over radio and instructors told her what to do and how to recover from spin and cut away and go to reserve she didn't. emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.
 
2014-01-28 02:56:00 PM  
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."

Sounds more like he missed.
 
2014-01-28 02:56:21 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


Either that or God is a total dick and wanted the teen to suffer since he is more than capable of stopping the fall according to Wethington.
 
2014-01-28 02:57:35 PM  
God is kind of an asshole isn't he?
 
2014-01-28 02:58:43 PM  

aseras: emergency gravity kicked in and she landed as planned.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-28 02:58:48 PM  
God is saying "you are a very, very bad person so I'm going to scare the shiat out of you, smash you into the ground, and leave you broken and in agony".
 
2014-01-28 02:59:03 PM  
he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?
 
2014-01-28 03:01:27 PM  

Warlordtrooper: God is kind of an asshole isn't he?


Jump out of an airplane, and you're kinda asking for it.
 
2014-01-28 03:01:27 PM  

Warlordtrooper: God is kind of an asshole isn't he?



Not only that, but he kind of sucks at catching people, if they still suffer broken bones and internal injuries.

Plus, when you think of all the kids being shot, blown up, tortured, raped, etc, around the world at any given time, you have to wonder why he chooses to save some teen who was intentionally jumping out of an airplane.
 
2014-01-28 03:03:17 PM  
Have a look at all you geniuses. Finding holes in the sister's God story. Good for you.

FTA: The guy with the radio on the ground is trying to talk her out of what's going on and telling her what to do and she can't do it," Joe Wethington told CNN. "She's going too fast and in different directions she can't reach up and grab it anyway and then when she goes into the spiral he keeps telling her to cut away to release the shoot and to pull the reserve."

I'm guessing that didn't happen or happened way too late? Hence the big THUD when she hit the ground. The farnarkling article doesn't elaborate, of course.

It absolutely reeks of a lack of training, and/or of someone not emotionally mature enough "under fire" to deal with a chute failure.

// where I'm from I think it's L-A-W law that n00bs have to do several tandem jumps strapped to an instructor before being allowed to go solo
// or maybe the jump schools' insurance companies won't cover solo n00b jumps?
 
2014-01-28 03:05:03 PM  

That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?


You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.
 
2014-01-28 03:05:45 PM  
If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?
 
2014-01-28 03:07:31 PM  

KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?


She was already tied to god.
 
2014-01-28 03:07:33 PM  
Parachutes are for people without sufficient faith.
 
2014-01-28 03:07:43 PM  

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?
 
2014-01-28 03:09:33 PM  

kidgenius: Dragonflew:

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


Why ask me? I was just clearing up who the scaredy-cat was.
 
2014-01-28 03:10:49 PM  

faultytower: After reading TFA the only conclusion you can come away with is that God is a d*ck.


Especially when he just let this guy get mashed up on the side of the grand canyon yesterday
http://calgary.ctvnews.ca/calgary-doctor-killed-in-grand-canyon-base -j umping-fall-1.1658027
 
2014-01-28 03:11:40 PM  

cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.

img1.imagesbn.comwp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-28 03:11:41 PM  
No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"
 
2014-01-28 03:11:58 PM  

cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.


God's a bit of an ass.

"Yo, girl, I'm not gonna let your parachute open. Instead, I'm going to let you smash into the ground, sustaining serious injuries, but you will live. Oh, and you better thank me or I'll farking have the doctors give you the wrong dosage and kill you."
 
2014-01-28 03:13:30 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


God was distracted looking for his Zippo in Jesus' room. Dang kids're always borrowing the old man's lighter and never returning it!

i651.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-28 03:15:22 PM  

Dragonflew: kidgenius: Dragonflew:

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.

Why? The pilot still is flying the damn plane. He can take the chicken back down to the ground.

Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

Why ask me? I was just clearing up who the scaredy-cat was.

~

LOL! Fair point, too.


WANTED FOR QUESTIONING:
i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-28 03:15:50 PM  

medius: cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.
[img1.imagesbn.com image 260x402][wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 638x402]


What I though of then reading "Parachuting With Jesus"...

imagizer.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-28 03:17:08 PM  

Dragonflew: That Guy Jeff: he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father, Joe.


... the instructor was too afraid to jump? Where they hell were they buying the skydiving class?

You cut out the part that clears up the confusion.

another man was supposed to follow them, but he was too afraid, so the instructor never jumped with Mackenzie and her father

Sounds like the instructor stayed behind with the other man who was too afraid to jump.


Oooooh, there were TWO other people supposed to jump with them, but one freaked out so the other, the instructor, stayed behind as well. That makes so much more sense. Total of four people supposed to jump. Got it. If only there was some sort of oversight position in journalism with the job of making sure articles are clear and well written. As this person would make edits to articles, we could call them "changers" or "modifiers" or something like that.

Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.
 
2014-01-28 03:17:22 PM  

Makh: FTFA:   Miraculously, she survived a 3,500-foot plummet to the ground, coming away with broken bones and internal injuries.
"She hit the ground hard," Meagan Wethington said. "God caught her."


It doesn't really count if God caught her after the first bounce.


sounds like, if anything, God Buckner'ed her, he just slowed her down a bit
 
2014-01-28 03:17:28 PM  
God catches about as well as Dez Bryant does in the playoffs.
 
2014-01-28 03:18:13 PM  

kidgenius: Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?


No, you can do static line jumps for your first one.  Three of those (from 3500 ft) and then you go up to 5000 ft for your first 5 second delay jump.  Exit the plane, wait 5 seconds, deploy chute.

What doesn't make sense to me is why her AAD didn't fire at 1500', cut the main, and deploy the reserve.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:04 PM  
Dear MTV: For my Super Sweet 16th birthday I want to go skydiving.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:17 PM  
That's some awesome skydiving instructin' there, Bubba!

FAA/NTSB will be looking into whose licenses to suspend, I'm sure.

 Also, this was her first jump ever and she solo'ed? Isn't that illegal or something?

Yeah, I call sketchy. It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression? Precious few details in that article as to why the eff the instructor didn't jump with her if she was his student. Was her dad a student or an instructor? The instructor on the radio wasn't much help. It was a birthday jump, so I bet she should have had two instructors with her if it was AFF Jump #1. Or daddy paid special money for a special deluxe version of a jump.

This is why there are rules.

Also, the parachute worked insofar as it slowed her descent. If it hadn't worked, she'd be a corpse.
 
2014-01-28 03:19:46 PM  
LOGAN TITTLE I have your email address!
 
2014-01-28 03:20:41 PM  
No, no, no! The DEBIL made her chute fail. God prevented her from dying afterwords. Stupid atheists.
 
2014-01-28 03:21:05 PM  

medius: cowgirl toffee: KangTheMad: If it was her first jump, why the hell wasn't she tandem with the instructor?

She was already tied to god.
[img1.imagesbn.com image 260x402][wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 638x402]


She had the knot in her.
 
2014-01-28 03:21:54 PM  
Maybe she can get some money back for the parachute on eBay?

For sale: One parachute. Never opened. Small stain.
 
2014-01-28 03:22:41 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: It was clearly not a static line progression, so maybe some kind of Oklahoma-style AFF lesson/progression?


AFF from 3500' and with only one instructor?

Uh, no.  That's static line.
 
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM  
Can a religious person please explain, with yes/no answers, which of the following god is responsible for:

- bad packing of the chute (I am assuming the primary cause of failure)
- partial deployment of the chute (even a badly packed chute may deploy properly (or close enough))
- partial deployment in such a way that she spins and cannot follow the instructions to deploy the reserve
- the degree of deployment of the primary such that her impact velocity breaks bones
- the medical treatment provided by doctors leading to her recovery

Religious people just seem to know what parts god is responsible for ... if you would be kind enough to help out then maybe the rest of us could understand.
 
2014-01-28 03:25:29 PM  

That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.


Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:01 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: No matter what the outcome of something is, it's always a part of "God's Plan".

If someone dies in an accident? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives an accident unharmed? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone survives with horrible injuries? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

If someone ends up in a coma? "It was all part of God's Plan!"

"It was all part of God's Plan" = "A wizard did it!"


I hate that.  He has no plan and is pretty clearly making this shiat up as he goes along, just like the rest of us.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:08 PM  

Farking Canuck: Can a religious person please explain, with yes/no answers, which of the following god is responsible for:

- bad packing of the chute (I am assuming the primary cause of failure)  Yes
- partial deployment of the chute (even a badly packed chute may deploy properly (or close enough)) Yes
- partial deployment in such a way that she spins and cannot follow the instructions to deploy the reserve  Yes
- the degree of deployment of the primary such that her impact velocity breaks bones  Yes
- the medical treatment provided by doctors leading to her recovery  No


Bam.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:15 PM  

red5ish: That Guy Jeff: Hope the guy who chickened out feels like a real ass now.

Sounds to me like God might have told him not to jump.


Nope... Jesus held him back.
 
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