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(Bleacher Report)   Soda commercial featuring Scarlett Johansson banned from running during the Super Bowl, but not for any of the reasons that you were hoping for   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 177
    More: Stupid, Scarlett Johansson, Super Bowl, Pepsi  
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20981 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 12:16 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-28 01:44:19 PM

Technoir: Flappyhead: TheOtherMisterP: Forget the banning for a minute and just look at the commercial itself:

It's kind of lame, right? Any commercial that has to beg to go viral is just sad. And she doesn't do anything racy at all. Pepsi's Cindy Crawford commercial from 20 years was far sexier than this stupid thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B02DGmkqDDU

Hell compare it to the Two Broke Girls commercial last year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH5aT3s6fPE

If you're going this route for publicity at least make it worth our while.

Wow. they actually managed to make Beth Behr look somewhat attractive in that commercial.  God knows they can't accomplish it on the show itself. Every time she speaks, I just want to hide in Kat Denning's cleavage and hate the world into oblivion.


It might be a better show if Kat and Beth's joke delivery was not always 'YELL LIKE THE AUDIENCE IS DEAF'.

/There might be some better parts, but the episodes I watched should have been called 'Two Hollering Whores'
 
2014-01-28 02:51:34 PM

ladyfortuna: Mark Ratner: Who buys one of these things? If someone gave it to me, I'd re-gift it for sure.

I have one, which I requested for my birthday. Mind you I only use the orange/berry/lemon-lime flavored essences, not the regular 'soda' flavors, but I used it all the goddamn time until the CO2 canister ran out. The only reason I'm stuck in a non-carbonated hell right now is because I live in the middle of nowhere and once the major shippers got wind of exactly what was in those canisters, they refused carry them. Stupid Walmart is completely unreliable for replacing it so I'm waiting until I move, at this point.

*grumble*

*crave orange fizzy water*


Go to amazon and look up SodaMod, or shop online for CO2 Doctor.

Get an adapter, use normal CO2 tanks, be happy.
 
2014-01-28 02:55:08 PM
Came for the pics of Scarrlett J, and I am leaving disappointed.....
 
2014-01-28 03:01:06 PM

gweilo8888: Yeah, no. It still has poor carbonation compared to the real deal, and a horrible aftertaste that isn't present in the real deal. But thanks for not being that guy who had to write a novel to tell me how I'm wrong and I don't understand that I'm wrong because I am too stupid.


Well, apparently you  are too stupid because you missed one of my more basic points:  The carbonation level is controlled by the user. Want more? ADD MORE. I do 6 buzzes, and my cola comes out as fizzy as anything I've ever gotten in a can from Coke or Pepsi. It stays fizzy too.

It helps to carbonate when it's very cold, too. Don't just pour from the tap and then carbonate. Keep water in the fridge for the SodaStream.

I'm sorry your experience has been lackluster, but it still seems to me you haven't actually used the thing beyond a few tries, and certainly haven't gotten the benefit of a soda made properly with the SodaStream. It's no skin off my back. I just thought you might be open to the possibility that what you tried wasn't representative of what could be done with the device. I hated the samples I got in stores, too... But when I actually got one and used it properly, I found that it was actually pretty fricking awesome.

But hey, be stubborn if you want. It's not my problem if you refuse to accept that there's more than one way to make a soda with SodaStream. I'm happy with mine.
 
2014-01-28 03:02:36 PM

afswordsman: Came for the pics of Scarrlett J, and I am leaving disappointed.....


People abandoned posting pics last night because FARK was resizing them all wrong. Don't blame the Farkers. Some people tried, but FARK wasn't playing nice.
 
2014-01-28 03:18:47 PM

interstellar_tedium: I have visited several friends and relatives with a SodaStream, none of them buys the flavor packets as they all just mix the bubbly water with fruit juice or fruit concentrate.  I have been tempted to get a base unit to do the same, but I figure we can get by without fizzy juice in the house.   I mean how do these people make money, is just everyone I know an exception and most people buy the flavor packs?  If not then I can't see the revenue stream.


1. The CO2 refills in their proprietary carbonator tank. They REALLY overcharge for those. People who don't modify the SodaStream pay $15 for a refill and $30 for a full tank. (With a standard CO2 tank, you pay about $4 for a refill, and it lasts longer.)

2. People who like diet drinks like the main line of SodaStream flavors.

3. Despite what  some people say, the cane sugar "Naturals" varieties DO taste quite good. They're all MUCH better than the smaller bottles with sucralose/sugar mix. I buy the cane sugar cola, and as I said before, it tastes quite a lot like Mexican Coke. Now, if you're used to the HFCS Coke in America and can't adjust to sugar-sweetened Coke, then perhaps you might not like it, but I happen to love the flavor of the sugar-sweetened Coke, and I don't mind not drinking a crapload of HFCS, either.

4. The SodaStream units themselves must be marked up pretty high above cost, as they are just plastic and nickel-plated hollow plastic shells. If I had a 3D printer, I could probably make one myself, piece by piece. They're decent quality, but they're definitely priced high enough to make a good profit... Especially the higher-end models which are around $179.

5. The Bottles for the SodaStream are also proprietary, with specific threading. They're designed to handle the pressure of carbonation without bursting, and they make several varieties of these: Dishwasher-safe, Standard (non dishwasher-safe), 1 liter, half-liter, glass carafes, etc. They mark these all up pretty well, too. A set of two bottles will run around $17, and you KNOW that plastic molding didn't cost that much.

With all that being said, you can get around most of these costs.

* Use fruit juices, as your friends do. Also, cheaper syrup alternative exist.

* Buy an adapter to use a larger, standard CO2 tank that can be filled anywhere for 75% less than SodaStream's fee. This adds up a lot over time.

* Acquire bottles from Bed, Bath & Beyond using one of their ubiquitous 20% off coupons.

* Don't bother with new bottles until you have to. I get by with one bottle for carbonating, and then I just pour the finished soda into standard soda bottles.

* Buy the cheapest SodaStream unit (the Jet) at Bed, Bath & Beyond for $79, and use the aforementioned 20% off coupon.

* Find syrups on clearance. I recently got a bunch of it for 50% off because it was close to shelf expiration. That's no problem; You just stick it in the fridge and it lasts a long time. The expiration date is for non-refrigerated shelf storage.


Summary: People who play within SodaStream's ecosystem pay a lot and the company makes a tidy profit. People who are a little more aggressive about saving money can find lots of ways to do so.
 
2014-01-28 03:20:59 PM

ZeroCorpse: afswordsman: Came for the pics of Scarrlett J, and I am leaving disappointed.....

People abandoned posting pics last night because FARK was resizing them all wrong. Don't blame the Farkers. Some people tried, but FARK wasn't playing nice.


Okay.  Appoligies to the Farker community of Picture finding wonderfullness.  I hope that your skills we be able to be put to use in the near future.

Off to GIS.
 
2014-01-28 03:27:08 PM

ZeroCorpse: Go to amazon and look up SodaMod, or shop online for CO2 Doctor.

Get an adapter, use normal CO2 tanks, be happy.

stuff etc...


I love you, thanks for the advice.
 
2014-01-28 03:43:17 PM

hundreddollarman: Obligatory.

[img.fark.net image 295x295]

Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.



Oh, you're good, you are. I came to this thread hoping for photos of the luscious Ms. Johansson in that catsuit from the Ironman motion pictures and there are none, no not one. But this has me powerfully embonered and for that, on this bitterly cold Winter's day, I thank ye.
 
2014-01-28 03:47:03 PM

rudemix: Blood bubbles.

 
2014-01-28 03:53:36 PM
ZeroCorpse:Well, apparently you  are too stupid because you missed one of my more basic points:  The carbonation level is controlled by the user. Want more? ADD MORE. I do 6 buzzes, and my cola comes out as fizzy as anything I've ever gotten in a can from Coke or Pepsi. It stays fizzy too.

Yeah, no. I tried that. It quickly reaches a point where more injections of CO2 make zero difference to the final result. And sorry, but that result is nowhere near store-bought soda either in fizziness or especially in how long the fizz lasts.

It helps to carbonate when it's very cold, too. Don't just pour from the tap and then carbonate. Keep water in the fridge for the SodaStream.

Again, did that. I'm not given to drinking my soda at room temperature.

I'm sorry your experience has been lackluster, but it still seems to me you haven't actually used the thing beyond a few tries, and certainly haven't gotten the benefit of a soda made properly with the SodaStream. It's no skin off my back. I just thought you might be open to the possibility that what you tried wasn't representative of what could be done with the device. I hated the samples I got in stores, too... But when I actually got one and used it properly, I found that it was actually pretty fricking awesome.

Nope, it's not that at all. Owned the thing for years, and tried it many times solely because we had paid for it, and what the hell. It never produced anything even remotely resembling a store-bought product.

Apparently you just have much lower standards than some of us do.

But hey, be stubborn if you want. It's not my problem if you refuse to accept that there's more than one way to make a soda with SodaStream. I'm happy with mine.

That's great for you. I wasn't.
 
2014-01-28 03:56:56 PM
I come into the thread expecting pics, and all I get is an argument about woo. I am disappoint.
 
2014-01-28 03:58:57 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: hundreddollarman: Obligatory.

[img.fark.net image 295x295]

Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


Oh, you're good, you are. I came to this thread hoping for photos of the luscious Ms. Johansson in that catsuit from the Ironman motion pictures and there are none, no not one. But this has me powerfully embonered and for that, on this bitterly cold Winter's day, I thank ye.


I did not write it, but someone else had posted it on another thread and it's made its way to almost every Fark thread about Scarlett Johansson since then. Just doing my duty. But I hear you; massive amounts of ghey in this thread.
 
2014-01-28 05:15:53 PM
Remember this "Queen of Carbs" ad that got Millers panties in a bunch?
s14.postimg.org
 
2014-01-28 05:22:59 PM

Aigoo: mr0x: Wow. Scarlett Johansson must be going through some hard times that she has to whore herself out to a soda company.

More likely they either paid her a farkton of money or having something to do with the fact that it's an Israeli company and she's Jewish (Russian Ashkenazi, I believe).


obviously sodastream is a conspiracy by the jooz


seriously WTF?
 
2014-01-28 05:26:58 PM

People_are_Idiots: Water is more than Hydrogen/Oxygen atoms. It's also has bacteria and minerals that actually AID in life. Typical minerals: calcium‚ potassium, and magnesium. almost all types of filters (especially those used in bottling water) remove those bacteria and minerals, thereby making the water essentially useless to our bodies. Why? Because when the "dead" water goes into our body, instead of hydrating the cells with its nutrients and minerals... it robs the minerals from said cells, and passes through. So, in effect, drinking water that is heavily filtered and is not replenished of the naturally-occuring minerals of its area will actually de-hydrate you more.


are you high on chromosomes?
 
2014-01-28 05:36:35 PM

Lehk: Aigoo: mr0x: Wow. Scarlett Johansson must be going through some hard times that she has to whore herself out to a soda company.

More likely they either paid her a farkton of money or having something to do with the fact that it's an Israeli company and she's Jewish (Russian Ashkenazi, I believe).

obviously sodastream is a conspiracy by the jooz


seriously WTF?


Yeah, seriously WTF?! Because that is not what I said, looneytoons. The original comment was that Johannson was going through rough times to "whore herself out" to a soda company. My comment was they either paid her a farkton of cash or she's Jewish and it's an Israeli company...because she wanted to support a reasonably small company in Israel, being Jewish. Which is something many people I know would do, and something I myself have done.

How the holy fark does that equate to a soda company being a Jewish conspiracy except in the mind of a crazy person? Seek help before your paranoia leads to something tragic.
 
2014-01-28 05:38:58 PM

Lehk: People_are_Idiots: Water is more than Hydrogen/Oxygen atoms. It's also has bacteria and minerals that actually AID in life. Typical minerals: calcium‚ potassium, and magnesium. almost all types of filters (especially those used in bottling water) remove those bacteria and minerals, thereby making the water essentially useless to our bodies. Why? Because when the "dead" water goes into our body, instead of hydrating the cells with its nutrients and minerals... it robs the minerals from said cells, and passes through. So, in effect, drinking water that is heavily filtered and is not replenished of the naturally-occuring minerals of its area will actually de-hydrate you more.

are you high on chromosomes?


apparently he is a homeopathic medicine nutjob subscriber....

http://www.health-science-spirit.com/livingwater.html
 
2014-01-28 05:50:01 PM
This thread has to have set the record for lowest-ever ratio of number of pictures of Scarlett Johansson to length of thread about Scarlett Johansson.
 
2014-01-28 06:00:59 PM
Should be banned because it is manufactured in an Apartheid territory.
 
2014-01-28 08:15:19 PM

poot_rootbeer: frostus: We had Fizzies. They were awesome.

Enjoy your flipper babies, cyclamate-lover.


Four kids and five grandchidren (so far) and not a flipper baby in the bunch.

/they're all a bit goofy though
 
2014-01-28 09:24:07 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Streisand effect


Nailed it.
 
2014-01-28 09:40:12 PM

John Buck 41: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Streisand effect

Nailed it.


The words "nailed" and "Streisand" in close proximity made me throw up in my mouth a little.
 
2014-01-28 10:44:38 PM

Strik3r: People_are_Idiots: Strik3r: People_are_Idiots: Strik3r:

Water is more than Hydrogen/Oxygen atoms. It's also has bacteria and minerals that actually AID in life. Typical minerals: calcium‚ potassium, and magnesium. almost all types of filters (especially those used in bottling water) remove those bacteria and minerals, thereby making the water essentially useless to our bodies. Why? Because when the "dead" water goes into our body, instead of hydrating the cells with its nutrients and minerals... it robs the minerals from said cells, and passes through. So, in effect, drinking water that is heavily filtered and is not replenished of the naturally-occuring minerals of its area will actually de-hydrate you more.

No. Water is H2O and That's ALL.

All those wonderful minerals and bacteria???  That is NOT water. You body needs it but can get it from a LARGE variety of sources.

This just in....   minerals DO NOT hydtrate you. The WATER  (H2O stuff) does.  Water is the medium through which ALL of this material flows. THAT is what you body needs it for. To CARRY stuff in and out......


I dunno, I'm sold. His link has inspired me to go out and buy some bio-ionic ceramic beads. They give life to dead water by mimicking the natural water splashing gently on rocks in nature... Not to mention the mai fan shi longevity stone filter. It will magically cure allergies, constipation and make you lose weight!

/Seriously wonder if the people who invent this crap are delusional too, or just laughing their way to the bank?
 
2014-01-28 11:53:29 PM

o'really: Strik3r: People_are_Idiots: Strik3r: People_are_Idiots: Strik3r:

Water is more than Hydrogen/Oxygen atoms. It's also has bacteria and minerals that actually AID in life. Typical minerals: calcium‚ potassium, and magnesium. almost all types of filters (especially those used in bottling water) remove those bacteria and minerals, thereby making the water essentially useless to our bodies. Why? Because when the "dead" water goes into our body, instead of hydrating the cells with its nutrients and minerals... it robs the minerals from said cells, and passes through. So, in effect, drinking water that is heavily filtered and is not replenished of the naturally-occuring minerals of its area will actually de-hydrate you more.

No. Water is H2O and That's ALL.

All those wonderful minerals and bacteria???  That is NOT water. You body needs it but can get it from a LARGE variety of sources.

This just in....   minerals DO NOT hydtrate you. The WATER  (H2O stuff) does.  Water is the medium through which ALL of this material flows. THAT is what you body needs it for. To CARRY stuff in and out......

I dunno, I'm sold. His link has inspired me to go out and buy some bio-ionic ceramic beads. They give life to dead water by mimicking the natural water splashing gently on rocks in nature... Not to mention the mai fan shi longevity stone filter. It will magically cure allergies, constipation and make you lose weight!

/Seriously wonder if the people who invent this crap are delusional too, or just laughing their way to the bank?


About 50/50 I'd say.  There's no better salesman than a True Believer.
 
2014-01-29 10:20:29 AM

TheOtherMisterP: Forget the banning for a minute and just look at the commercial itself:

It's kind of lame, right? Any commercial that has to beg to go viral is just sad. And she doesn't do anything racy at all. Pepsi's Cindy Crawford commercial from 20 years was far sexier than this stupid thing.


To be fair, this is Scarlett Johansson we're talking about.  Compared to her, Cindy Crawford is Laurence freakin' Olivier.

The only compelling part of the SodaStream commercial was the part where she wasn't trying to convincingly say a sentence out loud.  I doubt highly that this commercial was "banned" for the this very reason:  Johannson disses Coke and Pepsi the same way she says anything else, with an expression that says, "I can't really get into this."
 
2014-01-29 10:36:38 AM

Xcott: TheOtherMisterP: Forget the banning for a minute and just look at the commercial itself:

It's kind of lame, right? Any commercial that has to beg to go viral is just sad. And she doesn't do anything racy at all. Pepsi's Cindy Crawford commercial from 20 years was far sexier than this stupid thing.

To be fair, this is Scarlett Johansson we're talking about.  Compared to her, Cindy Crawford is Laurence freakin' Olivier.

The only compelling part of the SodaStream commercial was the part where she wasn't trying to convincingly say a sentence out loud.  I doubt highly that this commercial was "banned" for the this very reason:  Johannson disses Coke and Pepsi the same way she says anything else, with an expression that says, "I can't really get into this."



As I stated above, the commercial wasn't "banned" at all. SodaStream did the exact same thing last year, and the networks reaction then was to say "LOLWUT? WTF are they talking about? We have no problems with you mentioning Coke and Pepsi"

This is manufactured "outrage" - a gimmick as bad as GoDaddy's cocktease "unrated" commercials.
 
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