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(The Morning Call)   11-year old boy learns a hard lesson that beer and water are not the same color....well, except if it's Coors Light   (mcall.com) divider line 48
    More: Dumbass, lessons, Schuylkill County, water bottles, community school  
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6027 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2014 at 12:05 AM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-27 08:51:02 PM
If he's on the sauce already, maybe putting him through a "scared straight" program will help him.

Obviously his parents aren't doing their job here.
 
2014-01-27 09:11:15 PM
I'm actually kind of impressed that an 11-year-old in Pennsylvania managed to get beer. From what I understand it's hard enough for adults to buy beer.
 
2014-01-27 09:25:15 PM
That boy has a hard life ahead of him.
 
2014-01-27 09:42:57 PM
They are actually slightly different in color.  They're just the same in specific gravity.
 
2014-01-27 10:13:12 PM
Who was the little asshole that ratted him out?
 
2014-01-27 10:38:02 PM
Future Farker.
 
2014-01-28 12:11:53 AM
Best part of this article? Schuylkill.

It look like it should be pronounced one way.

It should be pronounced another way.

The locals pronounce it still another way.

And their way is awesome.
 
2014-01-28 12:14:19 AM
That works much better with vodka.
 
2014-01-28 12:15:22 AM
Some domestic beers are awfully close to water.... and horse piss! lol beer guy humor
 
2014-01-28 12:23:16 AM

Shostie: I'm actually kind of impressed that an 11-year-old in Pennsylvania managed to get beer. From what I understand it's hard enough for adults to buy beer.


This. Some of the worst alcohol laws in the country.
 
2014-01-28 12:24:13 AM
www.cabletv.com
 
2014-01-28 12:27:30 AM
Underage possession of a brewed beverage is a crime?  Wow.  Guess they really want to keep kids from drinking coffee.
 
2014-01-28 12:36:55 AM
Jokes aside I really hope this kid gets some help and not that he just gets railroaded into the criminal justice system...sadly, I doubt he will.  I'm hoping this is a case of a dumb kid trying to show off for his friends and not a situation where he's 11 and already drinking enough to the point where he's been doing it in school for some time and someone realized it just now.
 
2014-01-28 12:41:09 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: If he's on the sauce already, maybe putting him through a "scared straight" program will help him.

Obviously his parents aren't doing their job here.


Why, do you want this kid to have to grow up in Schuylkill County sober? Are you just a sadist?
 
2014-01-28 12:45:35 AM

bugmn99: AverageAmericanGuy: If he's on the sauce already, maybe putting him through a "scared straight" program will help him.

Obviously his parents aren't doing their job here.

Why, do you want this kid to have to grow up in Schuylkill County sober? Are you just a sadist?


I'm not *just* a sadist. I have depth. I'm deep. I write poetry and shiat like that.
 
2014-01-28 12:52:36 AM
Ah, reminds me of when I brought a Playboy to school in the sixth grade.
Such good times.
 
2014-01-28 12:56:06 AM

fusillade762: That works much better with vodka.


Yes, Vodak is better for that plan.
 
2014-01-28 12:56:54 AM
Protect the children by throwing them in jail.
 
2014-01-28 01:06:21 AM
This is bullshiat.  Let kids be kids.  Take it, punish him, leave the cops out of it.

I was caught at 14 with a case of little kings on school property with my friends.  Our beer was taken, we were given on campus suspension for two weeks.

These days, even the slightest mistake or child-like decision is met with a criminal record.

When can we grow up and handle things with some wisdom instead of calling Mommy!!!!! (cops) every time someone does something?
 
2014-01-28 01:10:29 AM
How far from Penn State is this? Maybe the kid has reason to drink.
 
2014-01-28 01:11:46 AM
My brother called out that he'd found an unopened can of beer in the parking lot we were walking through. My fourteen year old sister exclaimed at his good fortune at first but once she actually saw it said in all seriousness "Ew, it's a light beer. Just leave it."
 
2014-01-28 01:15:18 AM
Back in 1994, immediately after the Northridge quake, the Miller brewery in Irwindale started hauling purified water in beer bottles to areas that had no water. I remember thinking "funny, I can't taste a difference..."

No good deed goes unridiculed, I say (was pretty cool of them, they were sending out the water that afternoon).
 
2014-01-28 01:20:51 AM

Stoker: Ah, reminds me of when I brought a Playboy to school in the sixth grade.
Such good times.


When I was in 3rd or 4th grade a guy I went to school with got his hands on a Playboy and we were checking it out on the bus ride home one day.  A different bus full of kids from some other school pulled up alongside our bus and naturally kids in different schools tend to be immature.  These kids were making faces, giving us the finger, etc.  My buddy pulled out the centerfold and put it up to the window...the looks on their faces were priceless.
 
2014-01-28 01:49:27 AM
If you have a non-clear liquid don't put it in a bottle that's supposed to contain a clear liquid.
 Vodka goes in water bottle

Domestic lager goes in tea bottles

picturing where the kid went to school:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-28 02:11:44 AM
It's um,  apple juice.  Yea,  that's the ticket!
 
2014-01-28 02:11:45 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Some domestic beers are awfully close to water.... and horse piss! lol beer guy humor


I've always wondered why some people admit they know what horse piss tastes like.
 
2014-01-28 02:24:38 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm not *just* a sadist. I have depth. I'm deep. I write poetry and shiat like that.


Consider this stolen
 
2014-01-28 03:01:40 AM
"11-year old boy learns a hard lesson that beer and water are not the same color....well, except if it's Coors Light Budweiser"

/FTFS
//At least Coors Light has a slight yellow tinge... still sucks though.
///Best Light beer I ever had was a Microbrew from a restaurant called Hops... and I hate Light Beer... more like a good European.
////IT'S SOOOOO SLASHIED!!!!
 
2014-01-28 03:13:16 AM
If Zima was still around. =/
 
2014-01-28 03:27:45 AM
I miss ordering ZIMA-s at a bar with a slice of lime and a curly straw. I would often have to bring my own curly straw.
 
2014-01-28 03:50:45 AM
And when the radical priest come and get him released they(s) all on the cover of Newsweek...
 
2014-01-28 06:40:53 AM

WhoGAS: When can we grow up and handle things with some wisdom instead of calling Mommy!!!!! (cops) every time someone does something?


We don't know the specific problem here.  For example, he could have gotten the beer from 'Mommy',  Sometimes juvenile court might be the best option, it's my understanding that they have wider powers for getting kids treatment when necessary.
 
2014-01-28 07:10:56 AM

Yogimus: I miss ordering ZIMA-s at a bar with a slice of lime and a curly straw. I would often have to bring my own curly straw.


I was once sitting at a bar of a comedy club talking to the owner while watching someone drinking a Zima, complaining about how the guy from the Zima commercial sucked on stage.
 
2014-01-28 07:24:52 AM
I hope he brought enough for the WHOLE class...
 
2014-01-28 07:42:24 AM

pedobearapproved: If you have a non-clear liquid don't put it in a bottle that's supposed to contain a clear liquid.
 Vodka goes in water bottle

Domestic lager goes in tea bottles

picturing where the kid went to school:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 451x375]


TFA:
 an alternative school for difficult-to-teach students.
 
2014-01-28 07:48:48 AM
In Charleston WV it may be
 
2014-01-28 07:50:26 AM
Yet another case of something that should be handled between school and parents, unnecessarily shunted to juvenile court.

Lock up all the children.
 
2014-01-28 08:26:14 AM

Shostie: I'm actually kind of impressed that an 11-year-old in Pennsylvania managed to get beer. From what I understand it's hard enough for adults to buy beer.


You're easily impressed.  Here's a hint, his parents have beer at the house.

My dad started drinking at 12, after he went playing baseball with his older brothers and all they took to drink was beer.  He was very much the alcoholic for 25 years.  I hope this kid's family will learn to consider their influence on him.
 
2014-01-28 08:45:38 AM
Subby what color is the water in your city? Gross.

Coors may *taste* more like water than like beer, but it's YELLOW for chrissakes...
 
2014-01-28 08:49:09 AM

orangehat: Jokes aside I really hope this kid gets some help and not that he just gets railroaded into the criminal justice system...sadly, I doubt he will.  I'm hoping this is a case of a dumb kid trying to show off for his friends and not a situation where he's 11 and already drinking enough to the point where he's been doing it in school for some time and someone realized it just now.


Well they finally jailed the two judges in neighboring Luzerne county who received payments from private prisons for running a kid conviction factory  -- who knew that a kid sneezing too loudly was a felony?
 
2014-01-28 11:18:48 AM

WhoGAS: I was caught at 14 with a case of little kings on school property with my friends.  Our beer was taken, we were given on campus suspension for two weeks.


We know, we read it in your permanent record.
 
2014-01-28 01:08:59 PM
"What? It's iced tea."
 
2014-01-28 02:28:23 PM
Shut up Subby,,,,Some of us Farkers like Coors Light!
 
2014-01-28 02:57:31 PM

pedobearapproved: If you have a non-clear liquid don't put it in a bottle that's supposed to contain a clear liquid.
 Vodka goes in water bottle

Domestic lager goes in tea bottles

picturing where the kid went to school:


Why, it's almost as if he didn't care if he got caught. Or maybe even he DID want to get caught.
 
2014-01-28 03:29:51 PM
 
2014-01-28 03:33:49 PM
A long time ago, I'm guessing around 1976, my grandpa put his gin down on the kitchen table.  My younger sister, who was 2 at the time, apparently thought it was water and drank it.  Grandpa (this was my maternal grandfather) was accusing Dad of pouring it down the drain, then my sister teeters in and Dad says "There's your gin."

To this day I wonder if this had anything to do with her becoming an alcoholic later on.  She's almost 40 now.

Grandpa learned a lesson that day.
 
2014-01-28 10:06:37 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: At least Coors Light has a slight yellow tinge


Since when?

/Coors Light == Seltzer
 
2014-01-28 11:44:55 PM

ArcadianRefugee: HindiDiscoMonster: At least Coors Light has a slight yellow tinge

Since when?

/Coors Light == Seltzer


4.bp.blogspot.com

since always?

Budweiser on the other hand is Seltzer.
 
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