If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Thora Birch's publicist would like you to know she is once again available for your casting consideration   (theguardian.com) divider line 104
    More: Interesting, Thora Birch, Hollywood, Thora, River Phoenix, Juliette Lewis, celebrities, Scarlett Johansson, Brittany Murphy  
•       •       •

9211 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Jan 2014 at 6:37 PM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-27 05:06:25 PM
Weren't her tits in American Beauty?
 
2014-01-27 05:38:21 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?


Jailbait titties, to be precise.
 
2014-01-27 05:58:18 PM

Pokey.Clyde: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?

Jailbait titties, to be precise.


No that was the blonde who was JB.

Say what you like, but I dug Thora's teenage flapjack.s God knows how pendulous they are now.
 
2014-01-27 05:59:26 PM
I remember reading about her crazy dad a few years ago. Yeah, being a total biatch with crazy ex-porn parents who won't let a fellow actor touch you, that'll derail a career I'm sure.
 
2014-01-27 06:06:20 PM
Outfest 2012
lgbtpov.frontiersla.com
 
2014-01-27 06:12:45 PM
Who?
 
2014-01-27 06:25:52 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: No that was the blonde who was JB.


Nope. Birch was born in '82 and American Beauty was released in '99. So she was 17 when it was released, and 15/16 when it was shooting.
 
2014-01-27 06:29:57 PM

Pokey.Clyde: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: No that was the blonde who was JB.

Nope. Birch was born in '82 and American Beauty was released in '99. So she was 17 when it was released, and 15/16 when it was shooting.


Huh. Well that sucks for my latest GIS.

/born in 85, I don't feel too guilty
 
2014-01-27 06:36:55 PM
I used to work with a guy, Charlie Clark back in the 80's. Nice guy. But one day he quit, and none of his co-workers ever heard from him again.

Does Thora Birch, or anyone at the Guardian, give a darn?
 
2014-01-27 06:37:20 PM

Confabulat: I remember reading about her crazy dad a few years ago. Yeah, being a total biatch with crazy ex-porn parents who won't let a fellow actor touch you, that'll derail a career I'm sure.


Yeah, people are calling out the author in TFA for glossing over that, and she'd defending herself.
 
2014-01-27 06:41:34 PM

Pokey.Clyde: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: No that was the blonde who was JB.

Nope. Birch was born in '82 and American Beauty was released in '99. So she was 17 when it was released, and 15/16 when it was shooting.


i remember hearing that her parents gave permission. plus one might've been a porn actor at some point.
 
2014-01-27 06:41:45 PM

Sgt Otter: Confabulat: I remember reading about her crazy dad a few years ago. Yeah, being a total biatch with crazy ex-porn parents who won't let a fellow actor touch you, that'll derail a career I'm sure.

Yeah, people are calling out the author in TFA for glossing over that, and she'd defending herself.


much easier to blame misogyny
 
2014-01-27 06:44:25 PM
Daddy issues.
 
2014-01-27 06:45:41 PM
Kinda dug her in "Ghost World." Scarlett Johansson was better looking, but Thora was the one I'd want to hang out with.

/maybe take her to the Blues Hammer show
 
2014-01-27 06:46:03 PM
So did her daddy finally die or something?
 
2014-01-27 06:47:14 PM
I somehow barely noticed her in American Beauty, but goddam was she hot in Ghost World.
 
2014-01-27 06:48:02 PM

Uzzah: Kinda dug her in "Ghost World." Scarlett Johansson was better looking, but Thora was the one I'd want to hang out with.

/maybe take her to the Blues Hammer show


devanjedi.files.wordpress.com

/"Seymour!"
 
2014-01-27 06:54:19 PM
I remember that she wa sin some movie with Jeremy Irons...
 
2014-01-27 06:56:20 PM
Big tit chick from Ghost World, right? I filled many a Crown Royal bag to her
 
2014-01-27 06:56:33 PM

FlashHarry: Pokey.Clyde: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: No that was the blonde who was JB.

Nope. Birch was born in '82 and American Beauty was released in '99. So she was 17 when it was released, and 15/16 when it was shooting.

i remember hearing that her parents gave permission. plus one might've been a porn actor at some point.


Not nearly as bad as what Brooke Shields' parents let her do on camera as a young child.
 
2014-01-27 06:58:10 PM

Uzzah: Kinda dug her in "Ghost World." Scarlett Johansson was better looking, but Thora was the one I'd want to hang out with.

/maybe take her to the Blues Hammer show


I don't know, man.  She really kind of screwed Seymour over by borrowing the Cook's Chicken sign and getting it seized.   Maybe she'd be up for some reggae.
 
2014-01-27 06:58:11 PM

shinjitsuism: I remember that she wa sin some movie with Jeremy Irons...


Oh right, The Dungeons & Dragons movie.
 
2014-01-27 07:00:04 PM
her mother was in Deep Throat. She was the nurse in JH's office.
 
2014-01-27 07:00:39 PM
Yeah, they talk about Hollywood chewing up and spitting out child actors, but what really happened here was she had a psycho father -- a junkie ex-porn star -- who was also her manager, and he was such a dick people stopped casting her to avoid dealing with him. Threatening actors and directors, making scenes, but they were a package deal so Hollywood stopped calling.

http://www.wetpaint.com/news/articles/2013-07-01-what-happened-thora -b irch-creepy
 
2014-01-27 07:00:41 PM
img.photobucket.com
This was the best part of Ghost World.
 
2014-01-27 07:00:54 PM

shinjitsuism: I remember that she wa sin some movie with Jeremy Irons...




yep that god awful dungeons and dragons movie
 
2014-01-27 07:01:18 PM

Pokey.Clyde: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?

Jailbait titties, to be precise.


I'm surprised everyone who owns American Beauty of Blue Lagoon haven't been made to register.
 
2014-01-27 07:02:15 PM
imstars.aufeminin.com
 
2014-01-27 07:03:10 PM
So why isn't it illegal to own a copy of American Beauty? Not that I care, she had great tits. Just saying.
 
2014-01-27 07:05:43 PM

invictus2: shinjitsuism: I remember that she wa sin some movie with Jeremy Irons...

yep that god awful dungeons and dragons movie


I remember during one scene I turned to my buddy and said "I swear to God, she's reading her lines off a cue card."  Everything in that movie felt like they were just slapping scenes together the night before shooting.

/mind you Irons' deliberate scenery chewing was awesome
 
2014-01-27 07:16:18 PM
www.topfox.tv
api.ning.com
www.leakedcelebs.com
www.dickism.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-27 07:18:40 PM

Rapmaster2000: [img.photobucket.com image 460x276]
This was the best part of Ghost World.


That guy RULES!
 
2014-01-27 07:20:50 PM

FlashHarry: i remember hearing that her parents gave permission. plus one might've been a porn actor at some point.


Not sure about her dad, but her mom was in Deep Throat.
 
2014-01-27 07:28:24 PM

FlashHarry: Pokey.Clyde: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: No that was the blonde who was JB.

Nope. Birch was born in '82 and American Beauty was released in '99. So she was 17 when it was released, and 15/16 when it was shooting.

i remember hearing that her parents gave permission. plus one might've been a porn actor at some point.


Seems pretty weird, you'd figure it'd be both or nothing.
 
2014-01-27 07:29:48 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Pokey.Clyde: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?

Jailbait titties, to be precise.

I'm surprised everyone who owns American Beauty of Blue Lagoon haven't been made to register.


Blue Lagoon moreso; but I'm thinking the actress in American Beauty was of legal age, IIRC?
 
2014-01-27 07:35:37 PM
I just saw Patriot Games 2 days ago and wondered, "Whatever happened to Thora Birch?"

THANKS FARKBAMA!
 
2014-01-27 07:35:59 PM
she is till hawt
 
2014-01-27 07:38:49 PM

Mobutu: FirstNationalBastard: Pokey.Clyde: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?

Jailbait titties, to be precise.

I'm surprised everyone who owns American Beauty of Blue Lagoon haven't been made to register.

Blue Lagoon moreso; but I'm thinking the actress in American Beauty was of legal age, IIRC?



Nope. Thora Birch was born in 1982. According to the internets American Beauty was released in 1999, and filmed from Dec. 1989 to January 1999. So she'd be around 16-17 when it was filmed and 17 when it was released.
 
2014-01-27 07:42:17 PM
Has anyone else seen The Hole? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242527/  She gave a very solid performance. I won't spoil it, but she goes from sympathetic to despicable and is totally believable. Go watch it now.
It's sad what happened. I hope she has a successful come back.
 
2014-01-27 07:44:08 PM
yawn/eye roll, another lost indie chick. oh wait, she has tits . . . fap fap fap fap fap
 
2014-01-27 07:48:38 PM

redsquid: Has anyone else seen The Hole? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242527/  She gave a very solid performance. I won't spoil it, but she goes from sympathetic to despicable and is totally believable. Go watch it now.
It's sad what happened. I hope she has a successful come back.


that film is also a good source of underage boobies.  er, or so I hear.
 
2014-01-27 07:50:12 PM
Did she get totally sick of all the creeps and losers and weirdos?
 
2014-01-27 07:54:13 PM

mongbiohazard: Mobutu: FirstNationalBastard: Pokey.Clyde: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Weren't her tits in American Beauty?

Jailbait titties, to be precise.

I'm surprised everyone who owns American Beauty of Blue Lagoon haven't been made to register.

Blue Lagoon moreso; but I'm thinking the actress in American Beauty was of legal age, IIRC?


Nope. Thora Birch was born in 1982. According to the internets American Beauty was released in 1999, and filmed from Dec. 1989 to January 1999. So she'd be around 16-17 when it was filmed and 17 when it was released.


Her parents signed off on her nudity in that film. As it wasn't sexual in nature, it's not considered pornographic, and it's therefore not illegal.
 
2014-01-27 07:58:24 PM

redsquid: Has anyone else seen The Hole? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242527/  She gave a very solid performance. I won't spoil it, but she goes from sympathetic to despicable and is totally believable. Go watch it now.
It's sad what happened. I hope she has a successful come back.


It is not a bad premise but she is so bad in it. That combined with the d&d movie basically sunk whatever career she was going to have.
 
2014-01-27 07:58:58 PM
We're getting pretty goddamn old.
 
2014-01-27 08:05:54 PM

Faddy: redsquid: Has anyone else seen The Hole? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242527/  She gave a very solid performance. I won't spoil it, but she goes from sympathetic to despicable and is totally believable. Go watch it now.
It's sad what happened. I hope she has a successful come back.

It is not a bad premise but she is so bad in it. That combined with the d&d movie basically sunk whatever career she was going to have.



Pretty much what I was going to say. The D&D movie happened to her career.
 
2014-01-27 08:09:47 PM

Mugato: So why isn't it illegal to own a copy of American Beauty? Not that I care, she had great tits. Just saying.


It's a grey area, but assuming parental permission, it isn't illegal to have a minor appear topless in film... see also Keira Knightley in The Hole (age 16), Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby (age 11), Milla Jovovich in Return to the Blue Lagoon (age 16), Uma Thurman in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (age 17).

I know this because, um, science.
 
2014-01-27 08:12:39 PM

Mad_Radhu: Did she get totally sick of all the creeps and losers and weirdos?


No, her dad is still around.
 
2014-01-27 08:22:00 PM

The Onion is prophetic: t's a grey area, but assuming parental permission, it isn't illegal to have a minor appear topless in film... see also Keira Knightley in The Hole (age 16), Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby (age 11), Milla Jovovich in Return to the Blue Lagoon (age 16), Uma Thurman in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (age 17).


That really makes no sense but I'm not complaining.
 
2014-01-27 08:24:23 PM
Are you "guessing" this from reading the part in TFA where she mentions that she's trying to find a new agent so that she can get back into acting subby?

That's some mighty fine police work there, Lou.
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report