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1223 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2014 at 8:09 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-26 04:51:08 AM  

nekom: I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use - Sir Morgan Freemen.


a) The man's name is Morgan Freeman
b) He isn't a sir
c) He didn't say this first, if he said it at all.  Gallileo is the first credited with saying it.
 
2014-01-26 05:10:56 AM  

twistedmetal: A child-like man is not a man whose development has been arrested; on the contrary, he is a man who has given himself a chance of continuing to develop long after most adults have muffled themselves in the cocoon of middle-aged habit and convention.

--Aldous Huxley


Oh I love LOVE this one. It enables me! MAN-CHILD FOREVAHHH!
 
2014-01-26 05:47:13 AM  
You can't go back
You can go on

/77's
 
2014-01-26 06:05:40 AM  
I have the body of a 15 year old.
I keep it in the freezer.
 
2014-01-26 06:35:11 AM  
Let me tell you about the girls in my life
My mama always treated me mean
But that's not the same...
Lost without a dame

-Daniel Johnston
 
2014-01-26 08:02:17 AM  
knuckledraggin.com
 
2014-01-26 08:23:07 AM  
i.imgur.com

"No."
 
2014-01-26 08:55:22 AM  
"The greatness comes not when things go always good for you, but the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain." - Richard Nixon
 
2014-01-26 09:01:11 AM  
"We are all in this together, by ourselves."

"The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, 'I was wrong'." - Sydney Harris
 
2014-01-26 09:20:00 AM  
"They called it paradise, I don't know why.
You call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye."  - Eagles,The Last Resort

"You can't go home again." - Thomas Wolfe

****


"When in doubt, don't."

"You can't out nickel and dime your employees."

/mine
 
2014-01-26 09:24:53 AM  
Life is what happens while your busy making plans
 
2014-01-26 09:48:56 AM  
If you want to be important-wonderful. If you want to be recognized-wonderful. If you want to be great-wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. That's a new definition of greatness.

Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. And you can be that servant.

Excerpted from The Drum Major Instinct sermon of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church, Atlanta, Georgia, on 4 February 1968
 
2014-01-26 10:17:47 AM  
"It is already like a government job," he said, "but with goats."
-- Iranian goat smuggler

"Don't compare me to the almighty, compare me to the alternative."
-- Barack Obama, fundraiser in California, 09-24-11

"The young naked man approached her with this poodle, and she immediately realized something peculiar."
-- As reported on WNEM, Michigan

"Queen Elizabeth has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2,000 eggs a day..."
-- Reuters Typo

"He used a digital program called Photoshop, and in Photoshop you can do things."
-- NPR, explaining doing things to photos

"God's light and God's life ooze over me like warm butter."
-- Gay Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson

"I'm not the guy you come in and dump on without getting punched in the mouth."
-- Orrin Hatch, US Senator, Utah

"By the third time...I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."
-- Winnipeg Fringe Festival critic
 
2014-01-26 11:09:38 AM  
"Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser."
-some Premier League commentator
 
2014-01-26 11:45:24 AM  

aharown: nekom: I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use - Sir Morgan Freemen.

a) The man's name is Morgan Freeman
b) He isn't a sir
c) He didn't say this first, if he said it at all.  Gallileo is the first credited with saying it.


[thatsthejoke.jpg]
 
2014-01-26 11:52:37 AM  
No matter where you go... there you are.  -- Buckaroo Banzai
 
Kiz
2014-01-26 12:35:11 PM  
Everyone always exaggerates.
 
2014-01-26 01:04:44 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-26 01:17:08 PM  
joshuakeith.net
 
2014-01-26 01:28:59 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-26 01:56:31 PM  
I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
 
2014-01-26 02:10:14 PM  
There are no stupid questions. Only stupid people asking.

If you like your health insurance, you can keep it. Period
 
2014-01-26 02:16:06 PM  
Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she says she can't go to hospital because she's, quote, "tripping balls." - Woodhouse

I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!  - Calvin
 
2014-01-26 02:17:06 PM  
At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.


I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.

PJ O'Rourke
 
2014-01-26 02:59:49 PM  

Lee451: At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.


I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.

PJ O'Rourke


Mmmm I have, she is sooo hot (fair, understanding and inclusive) how could I not .... ?
 
2014-01-26 03:34:18 PM  
Written laws are like spiders' webs , and will like them only entangle and hold the poor and weak, while the rich and powerful easily break through them.

Anacharsis


Nothing has been better proven than this maxim: that one succeeds in having too much only by causing others not to have enough.

François-Noël Babeuf
 
2014-01-26 03:41:50 PM  
 "Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Therefore, give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions, and determine to pay the price for a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. Remain steadfast... and one day you will build something that endures, something worthy of your potential."

Epictetus


"The path of least resistance makes all rivers, and some men, crooked."

Napolean Hill
 
2014-01-26 04:01:50 PM  
"Things are more like they are now, then they ever have been."
George H.W. Bush
 
2014-01-26 04:16:28 PM  
"I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."

~ Tiger (Grouco) Woods
 
2014-01-26 04:20:58 PM  
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.

~Oscar Wilde
 
2014-01-26 04:40:24 PM  

nekom: Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace. - Rev. Mitch Hedberg


It wasn't Mitch Hedberg - It was the late, great Bill Hicks who made this statement.
 
2014-01-26 04:47:08 PM  
It's better to bite the hand that feeds you than to lick the hand that beats you.
 
2014-01-26 05:02:36 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: It's better to bite the hand that feeds you than to lick the hand that beats you.


What if you're out of lube?
 
2014-01-26 05:31:06 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: It's better to bite the hand that feeds you than to lick the hand that beats you.


Gold.
 
2014-01-26 05:55:39 PM  
Alienation is the opposite of self delusion.
 
2014-01-26 06:06:25 PM  
fark YOU. fark YOU THROUGH THE HEART. i HOPE YOU AND YOUR LAWYER DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL, BURNING DEATH, YOU WHORE.

/ I'm sorry
// no one will read this, this far down in the comments
/// seriously though, read the comment
 
2014-01-26 06:18:17 PM  
What happened was this: I got an image in my head that never got out. We see a great many things and can remember a great many things, but that is different. We get very few of the true images in our heads of the kind I am talking about, the kind which become more and more vivid for us as if the passage of the years did not obscure their reality but, year by year, drew off another veil to expose a meaning which we had only dimly surmised at first. Very probably the last veil will not be removed, for there are not enough years, but the brightness of the image increases and our conviction increases that the brightness is meaning, or the legend of meaning, and without the image our lives would be nothing except an old piece of film rolled on a spool and thrown into a desk drawer among the unanswered letters.
- Robert Penn Warren, All the King's Men
 
2014-01-26 07:51:07 PM  
I shaved my balls for this?
 
2014-01-26 08:30:06 PM  
Two :

The best diplomat I know is a fully charged phase bank - Commander Montgomery Scott

The man who is bitter against the world has only himself to blame - Henry Lawson via Garnet Rogers
 
2014-01-26 09:21:44 PM  

jamspoon: Mr_Fabulous: CluelessMoron: Nobody ever dies, if they live on within you.

/My mother died last week.
//fark cancer with a rusty chainsaw.  Goddamnit.  fark.


I'm so sorry. Stay strong.

Lost mine last October. If people ask, tell them about her. It will help build your internal narrative and give you closure (even if they glaze over after a while)


Thank you jams and mr_fabs.  Keeping with the theme:

    Little things help far more than you might think.
 
2014-01-26 11:47:45 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
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