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(Telegraph)   Honey, I'm fresh out of boob deodorant. Can you pick me up some on your way home?   ( telegraph.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, Jessica Ennis, deodorant, citrus  
•       •       •

14236 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2014 at 12:15 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-25 10:55:40 AM  
Potential boobie thread?
 
2014-01-25 11:02:45 AM  
Boob sweat?

/is that anything like titty sprinkles?
 
2014-01-25 12:18:04 PM  
Um, regular deodorant (despite the silly warnings) will work just fine on any part of the body.

Don't go swabbing it up and down your entire body (use a shower!) but you can certainly use it under your boobs or, in my case, since I lack boobs, I use it on my feet with some homemade foot powder.
 
2014-01-25 12:18:30 PM  
You think this is taking advantage of a woman's insecurities? Wait until the medical profession decides to diagnose/treat "restless boob syndrome".
 
2014-01-25 12:19:15 PM  
PRICE CHECK!
 
2014-01-25 12:19:48 PM  
She sounds fat.
 
2014-01-25 12:20:27 PM  
After I have put all that effort into getting her bewbs sweaty? I think id want to enjoy the fruit of my labor.
 
2014-01-25 12:21:24 PM  
*quickly adds swoobs to "Words To Outlaw Forever" list*
 
2014-01-25 12:23:27 PM  
a girl goes to her local pharmacy and asked the guy "where do you keep your anal deodorant?"

the guy replies: "what are you talking about? we don't sell anal deodorant!"

she: "But I bought it here before!"

guy: "Can you go home and bring it back? maybe we can look it up?"

so she leaves and in a few mins she returns with the deodorant and hands it to the guy

guy: "This is not anal deodorant!"

she: "yes it is!!!"  she turns it over and points at the Directions  "see it says 'to use  remove cap and push up bottom!"
 
2014-01-25 12:24:27 PM  
You have to hoist them high to swab out the lactosmeg, dear. Try a bleach-saturated loofah.
 
2014-01-25 12:24:34 PM  
Fat woman problems.
 
2014-01-25 12:27:02 PM  
FTFA: "I had no idea boob sweat was even a real thing, let alone something we should all "dread" and spend up to $20 (£12) to eliminate "

She sounds flat.
 
2014-01-25 12:27:19 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
honey, can you pick up some boob deodorant? thanks!
 
2014-01-25 12:27:21 PM  
Rule 34 no doubt in effect, but I ain't gonna GIS.
 
2014-01-25 12:28:43 PM  
Boobies
 
2014-01-25 12:31:23 PM  
Sure babe. I'll get you another can of Sprunt as well.
 
2014-01-25 12:32:18 PM  
"I've got..........sweaty boob rash!"
 
2014-01-25 12:32:38 PM  
She is my muse, my flame.
 
2014-01-25 12:33:19 PM  
But I like sweaty boobs...
 
2014-01-25 12:33:49 PM  
My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.
 
2014-01-25 12:34:18 PM  
It's a real problem.  Cross my heart.
 
2014-01-25 12:36:37 PM  

Valiente: You have to hoist them high to swab out the lactosmeg, dear. Try a bleach-saturated loofah.


You sick phuque. I was eating lunch.
 
2014-01-25 12:36:41 PM  

stabby13: But I like sweaty boobs...


I like making them sweaty.

Sweaty at rest, not so much.
 
2014-01-25 12:36:43 PM  

markfara: You think this is taking advantage of a woman's insecurities? Wait until the medical profession decides to diagnose/treat "restless boob syndrome".


Have you ever seen that video loop of Kate Upton walking that TMZ likes to use all the time?
 
2014-01-25 12:37:19 PM  

Odoriferous Queef: Valiente: You have to hoist them high to swab out the lactosmeg, dear. Try a bleach-saturated loofah.

You sick phuque. I was eating lunch.


Enjoy your yogurt.
 
2014-01-25 12:37:58 PM  
"How stupid do beauty companies think women are?"

Well.....
 
2014-01-25 12:42:10 PM  
"Say honey, this new jock deodorant works great!"

"Oh you big silly, give me that! It's for women only!"

NEW PRETTY SPRINKLEZ DEODORANT! STRONG ENOUGH FOR HIS BALLS, BUT MADE FOR YOUR BOOBS!
 
2014-01-25 12:43:26 PM  
Why would I need a separate anti-perspirant for a various parts of my body? When running or working out, the first defense is a proper bra. Then a swipe of my underarm anti-perspirant in key places is sufficient. Same with feet (as another poster notes) -- proper socks and some underarm anti-perspirant. Sweating is good for the body when running or working out, chafing is not.

If you're sweating and chafing when not exercising, you might want to try exercising.
 
2014-01-25 12:44:27 PM  
fark the woman with small tits who wrote this article! I'm a 34-K Cup with an average sized frame (due to a hormone/estrogen imbalance) and under-breast sweat at this size is so much of an issue it's one of the criteria for breast reduction. It can cause serious skin issues, as you can imagine, and is a real medical condition.
I use powder, but it's not always comfortable and it doesn't last long if I'm active.
Must be nice to not have to worry about it to the point where you can deride women who need it.
/I saw that recommendation for fresh balls...
 
2014-01-25 12:45:11 PM  
As a certified breast inspector I provide a deodorizing as part of my basic inspection.  If you are an attractive women 18 to 35 send me an image of your breasts for a free quote.

/if you're gullible enough to buy breast deodorant you're gullible to believe me
// gold bond powder
///no eip
 
2014-01-25 12:46:52 PM  
A follow up- no, regular deodorant is not suitable for that area because the skin is extremely delicate and almost always already irritated.
 
2014-01-25 12:47:07 PM  
My ex has huge tracts of land and yeah, this was an issue for her as well.

/and this is not a bookmark, just in case this becomes an epic thread.
// Actually yes it is a bookmark.
 
2014-01-25 12:48:23 PM  
We've heard about  women tattooing their nipples, giving theirvaginas facials

No we haven't
 
2014-01-25 12:49:31 PM  
FTFA: I had no idea boob sweat was even a real thing

i184.photobucket.com

I believe it.
 
2014-01-25 12:50:12 PM  

jso2897: Odoriferous Queef: Valiente: You have to hoist them high to swab out the lactosmeg, dear. Try a bleach-saturated loofah.

You sick phuque. I was eating lunch.

Enjoy your yogurt.


Shouldn't that be cottage cheese?

/I have a story along those lines
//won't share
///Yes alcohol was involved.
 
2014-01-25 12:51:49 PM  
I'm just trying to figure out how to market the boobie-pampers that the world apparently needs.

lift, separate, deswamp.
 
2014-01-25 12:52:07 PM  
Ladies, don't waste your money. The cooling effects of frequent motorboating will keep your boobs dry.
 
2014-01-25 12:52:45 PM  
But how dose it taste?
 
2014-01-25 12:54:35 PM  
It's not that women are dumb; it's that the modern cosmetic industry has a rich tradition dating back well over a century of aggressively playing on women's desires and fears.

I highly recommend: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/08122216 72
 
2014-01-25 12:58:43 PM  
img374.imageshack.us


I wonder if she uses it by the case?
 
2014-01-25 12:59:19 PM  
Udder arm deodorant?
 
2014-01-25 01:00:47 PM  
Thank goodness for this product.  I can't count the number of times I've gone in for a motorboating and ended up covered in stinky boob sweat.
 
2014-01-25 01:02:08 PM  
but it's glittery and stuff!
 
2014-01-25 01:03:46 PM  
img156.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-25 01:06:42 PM  

theflatline: [img156.imageshack.us image 351x267]


she needs elbow deodorant
 
2014-01-25 01:08:47 PM  
I boob deodorant was baby powder.
 
2014-01-25 01:09:56 PM  
This is not turning into a very good foobies thread.
 
2014-01-25 01:26:35 PM  
Would an occasional shot of Febreze in each cup tend to reduce odor buildup?
 
2014-01-25 01:28:11 PM  
Deodorant goes where?

thechive.files.wordpress.com

(moves thread in right direction)
 
2014-01-25 01:30:05 PM  
What sweaty boobs might look like
penningtonhall.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-25 01:32:12 PM  
I've never understood the whole powders things myself. You see guys at the gym caking themselves down like they're being de-liced for prison, but it seems to me that it would just turn into a swampy crotch paste of Gold Bond and sweat. The liquid still needs to go somewhere for you to be dry.
 
2014-01-25 01:34:32 PM  
 
2014-01-25 01:38:20 PM  

Kirby Muxloe: Deodorant goes where?

(moves thread in right direction)


I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but I'd worry her elbow might not reciprocate.
 
2014-01-25 01:46:51 PM  
"Well, listen up Bust Dust, Fresh Breasts and Boobalicious Breast Deodorant: women aren't as stupid as you seem to think. We aren't going to fall for another advertising ploy to try to get us to conform to an alien idea of female perfection."

I've got the entirety of human history that says you're wrong.
 
2014-01-25 01:46:52 PM  

ifky: What sweaty boobs might look like
[penningtonhall.files.wordpress.com image 225x303]


Thank you. I was wondering....
 
2014-01-25 01:49:31 PM  
I don't understand the writer's indignation. Woman have millions of other beauty products for all parts of their body, many which would be way dumber than a 'boob sweat' product. I know many of you Farkers probably don't know this, but larger boobs do get sweaty underneath.
 
2014-01-25 01:50:38 PM  

mr_crash_davis: "Well, listen up Bust Dust, Fresh Breasts and Boobalicious Breast Deodorant: women aren't as stupid as you seem to think. We aren't going to fall for another advertising ploy to try to get us to conform to an alien idea of female perfection."

I've got the entirety of human history that says you're wrong.


If she shaves, then she already disproves her own point.
 
2014-01-25 01:51:11 PM  
...and, yes, if they have eggs I'll get six.
 
2014-01-25 01:52:51 PM  
Hyperhydrosis is a real condition, but I doubt this product will do jack all to alleviate it.
 
2014-01-25 01:53:31 PM  
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
 
2014-01-25 01:56:42 PM  
They're talking about sweaty boobs, not stinky boobs. Don't they just need anti-perspirant?
 
2014-01-25 02:01:09 PM  

indarwinsshadow: [img374.imageshack.us image 682x468]


I wonder if she uses it by the case?


I think she'll need a can of Raid for what she's got growing under those...er...glands.
 
2014-01-25 02:02:51 PM  

Kirby Muxloe: Deodorant goes where?

[thechive.files.wordpress.com image 500x769]

(moves thread in right direction)


Stand back!  I'll handle this one myself.
 
2014-01-25 02:15:45 PM  
That's not at all a new type of product.  It's obviously not going just for a hygiene concerned crowd since it says "Glitzy Glitters" and "Boobalicious" on it, but there are ton of similar products on Amazon, and some more serious than that.

Really, if you have a lot up top, and it's at all warm, and you do nothing about that, your skin will end up all sorts of screwed up.  It's not just about being worried about appearing sweaty.  So, yes, there are probably a lot of women who at least sometimes use something to prevent those problems.
 
2014-01-25 02:19:30 PM  
No problem honey, I was just about to run out for some nutsack moisturizer and glans polish anyway.
 
2014-01-25 02:23:20 PM  
Now we know why they are called "sweat(er)" puppies
 
2014-01-25 02:31:02 PM  

brap: No problem honey, I was just about to run out for some nutsack moisturizer and glans polish anyway.


Hell... I could use some testicle floss while you're out. Wintergreen, if they have it. TIA!
 
2014-01-25 02:36:32 PM  
Dear British women,

If you drink pints like the punters, you will sweat (and smell) like the punters.

Your welcome,

LOTCP
 
2014-01-25 02:48:17 PM  

nyseattitude: We've heard about  women tattooing their nipples, giving theirvaginas facials

No we haven't


Thank you. Came in to say this after rta.
 
2014-01-25 02:54:14 PM  
Boob sweat is only a problem for women who can do the pencil trick.
 
2014-01-25 02:54:43 PM  
This article is written by the chairwoman of the itty bitty titty committee if she has never heard of boob sweat.
 
2014-01-25 02:57:53 PM  

Grumpy Cat: They're talking about sweaty boobs, not stinky boobs. Don't they just need anti-perspirant?


I hit the jackpot today! Came here to say two things and found both.
#2
 
2014-01-25 03:06:42 PM  

Molavian: FTFA: I had no idea boob sweat was even a real thing

I believe it.


She needs beak deodorant.
 
2014-01-25 03:22:41 PM  

Just the product this guy's been looking for!


indebtfatshortbadteeth.files.wordpress.com

 
2014-01-25 03:30:44 PM  

elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.


img844.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-25 04:12:00 PM  

elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.


s14.postimg.org
 
2014-01-25 04:15:57 PM  
They're always trying to mask the pheromones

/stupid anti-human companies
 
2014-01-25 04:16:56 PM  

elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.


I may try this stuff ...
 
2014-01-25 04:17:58 PM  
Schwety Boobs?
 
2014-01-25 04:18:20 PM  

elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.


Come on and meet my little friend:

bagbalm.ca

/has been known to distance-cycle in July, August.
 
2014-01-25 04:19:33 PM  

Odoriferous Queef: Valiente: You have to hoist them high to swab out the lactosmeg, dear. Try a bleach-saturated loofah.

You sick phuque. I was eating lunch.


My first draft had the term "mammocheese". Good luck with the diet!
 
2014-01-25 04:23:18 PM  
"Boob Deodorant" is the name of my Hoobastank cover band.
 
2014-01-25 04:31:35 PM  

Valiente: elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.

Come on and meet my little friend:

[bagbalm.ca image 216x206]

/has been known to distance-cycle in July, August.


That stuff's great. And not just for what you use it for.
 
2014-01-25 05:12:44 PM  
a day's worth of sweaty boobs=jug jam pudding
 
2014-01-25 05:12:59 PM  

elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.


This.  Humid summers can cause all sorts of unpleasantness. Smells to rashes to more exotic fungal infections on the surface of the skin.

No one is suggesting this is a daily use for people who don't happen to be sweating and a requirement for all females.

However...If you have sweaty boobs and you find it bothersome there's a product for that.

It's about quality of life, people, not mandatory spending.  If you don't have an issue with that, don't buy it, for farks sake.
 
2014-01-25 05:13:37 PM  
Anyone who has LARGE boobs knows that the stuff in the article is a joke. If you have large sweaty boobs, many times you will get what's called "Candida Albicans" and will need to use this instead:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Medline-Remedy-Antifungal-Powder-MSC092603H- /1 50990422981?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2327bb03c5

This powder is GREAT stuff... it serves as a nice deodorant as well as gets rid of the sweat and skin infection.
 
2014-01-25 05:21:40 PM  
static.fjcdn.com
boobie thread?
 
2014-01-25 05:30:08 PM  

Fell In Love With a Chair: fark the woman with small tits who wrote this article! I'm a 34-K Cup with an average sized frame (due to a hormone/estrogen imbalance) and under-breast sweat at this size is so much of an issue it's one of the criteria for breast reduction. It can cause serious skin issues, as you can imagine, and is a real medical condition.
I use powder, but it's not always comfortable and it doesn't last long if I'm active.
Must be nice to not have to worry about it to the point where you can deride women who need it.
/I saw that recommendation for fresh balls...


I'm a DDD and use Tea Tree Oil soap and just a dab of regular old deo on really hot/muggy days. Bobbie rash is a pain in the ass!

/and yes, I have been properly fitted for a bra.
 
2014-01-25 06:11:22 PM  
static2.wikia.nocookie.net
What a DDD might look like.
/hot
//I'm sorry
///I'm so so sorry
 
2014-01-25 06:43:34 PM  

heap: I'm just trying to figure out how to market the boobie-pampers that the world apparently needs.

lift, separate, deswamp.


When I worked (briefly) in a women's prison, the older inmates who didn't need to use their prison-issued maxi pads would stuff them down the cups of their sports bras.

"Inmate, hold on to that idea. When you get out, partner up with somebody who's really good at business and marketing -- and you're gonna make a lot of money."

/No air conditioning in that place, even in summer.
//Regular antiperspirant works just fine.
 
2014-01-25 06:56:04 PM  
Well of COURSE the Indian hasn't heard of a personal hygiene product.  Duh!
 
2014-01-25 07:10:33 PM  
Just in time for Valentine's Day!
 
2014-01-25 07:29:02 PM  

Valiente: elvindeath: My family goes down to Orlando every few years in the summer to go to Disney.  It's ungodly hot and moist in that swamp in the summer.  My wife complained about swoobs for years.  Finally, one year, I got sick of crotch rot myself and on a whim, ordered something called "Fresh Balls" that I heard advertised on Howard Stern.  Turns out it's the greatest product ever made - no more swampy, raw balls every time I rode a water ride and then walked 5 miles around the park.  My wife one day told me she rubbed some on her cans and couldn't believe how much more comfortable she was walking around.  So I have to say, while not being a usual or necessary product unless you live in a swamp, it's definitely not the most pointless one I've ever seen.

Come on and meet my little friend:

[bagbalm.ca image 216x206]

/has been known to distance-cycle in July, August.


That stuff is for moisturizing your hands, not for your balls.

Unless you're allergic to wool, in which case, I do not recommend putting it anywhere, *especially* your balls - lanolin may be moisturizing, but it's the thing that makes wool itchy if you're sensitive.

/allergic to lanolin. on the bits? NOPE.

And yeah, boob sweat happens even to a C-cup sometimes. But a deodorant meant for there should NOT have glitter and heavy scents.
 
2014-01-25 08:19:39 PM  

brap: No problem honey, I was just about to run out for some nutsack moisturizer and glans polish anyway.


http://screen.yahoo.com/steve-martins-penis-beauty-creme-^C3.h tm l
 
2014-01-25 09:13:31 PM  
I love a little boob sweat.  MMM MMM good.
 
2014-01-25 09:26:58 PM  

Fell In Love With a Chair: fark the woman with small tits who wrote this article! I'm a 34-K Cup with an average sized frame


Pictures, please.
 
2014-01-25 10:34:28 PM  

omnibus_necanda_sunt: Fell In Love With a Chair: fark the woman with small tits who wrote this article! I'm a 34-K Cup with an average sized frame

Pictures, please.


I had something close to it that had no nipples whatsoever. Even had a boob sweat-guard.

img.fark.net
/Manboobs are okay though
 
2014-01-26 12:06:36 AM  

telejester: a day's worth of sweaty boobs=jug jam pudding


Emmit Oddman's Jug Jam Christmas?
 
2014-01-26 01:29:01 AM  
Schwetty boobs
 
2014-01-26 09:38:13 AM  
I don't recall ever encountering stinky boobs.
 
2014-01-26 12:44:36 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: They're always trying to mask the pheromones

/stupid anti-human companies


Seriously.
I understand if you don't like the sweaty feeling on hot days.
But geez, people, stop avoiding anything that smells human!

/just shower everyday please
 
2014-01-26 01:46:53 PM  

Grumpy Cat: They're talking about sweaty boobs, not stinky boobs. Don't they just need anti-perspirant?


This. They're not the same thing!
 
2014-01-26 06:22:31 PM  
Can I get job demonstrating this product by applying free samples?
How about $10 an hour?  I can't really afford to pay more than that.
 
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