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(WTKR)   Bad: Wife shoots you in a domestic dispute. FARK: She shoots you in the arm and head, and while you stagger to the neighbors for help, stabs herself in the neck and calls police saying you shot her   (wtkr.com) divider line 65
    More: Scary, domestic violences, stab wound  
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6298 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2014 at 10:50 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-25 10:52:36 AM  

upload.wikimedia.org

 
2014-01-25 10:52:41 AM  
I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho
 
2014-01-25 10:53:45 AM  
i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-01-25 10:55:07 AM  
There's probably many more levels of crazy and stupidity in this case than the article is telling is
 
2014-01-25 10:55:39 AM  
That's what she said.
 
2014-01-25 10:55:40 AM  
I don't care how good it is - stay away from crazy.

And if you must, make sure she doesn't know your real name.
 
2014-01-25 10:57:29 AM  
img.youtube.com
 
2014-01-25 10:57:58 AM  
Don't stick your d*ck in crazy, dumbs
 
2014-01-25 10:58:19 AM  

indylaw: I don't care how good it is - stay away from crazy.

And if you must, make sure she doesn't know your real name.


protip: only have a fake ID in your wallet when you go over for the booty-call.
 
2014-01-25 10:58:26 AM  
I wonder how much his bail is going to be when they finally let him see the judge.
 
2014-01-25 10:58:33 AM  
Don't stick your d*ck in crazy, dumbass
 
2014-01-25 10:59:26 AM  
Apparently, I love double posting to correct the filter
 
2014-01-25 11:01:35 AM  

buzzcut73: I wonder how much his bail is going to be when they finally let him see the judge.


Yup, the cops will apologize, but, "Unfortunately, you struck her bullets with your body, so the law says you must be arrested."
 
2014-01-25 11:01:43 AM  
Hey, morons. Stop farking the Cluster Bs. They only produce more Cluster Bs.
 
2014-01-25 11:06:01 AM  
Wow, the make-up sex after all of that would have to be amazing.
 
2014-01-25 11:06:03 AM  
Let me guess? Asian chick(includes Russia)
 
2014-01-25 11:08:37 AM  
"Wife"
This farker is a slow learner.
No sympathy.
 
2014-01-25 11:09:22 AM  
Ready for a home invasion.
 
2014-01-25 11:10:44 AM  
Yeah, I live VERY close to there.  It must be the "snow days" we've had.  The kids got a 5 day weekend from school with only a couple inches of snow.  We don't get much snow here.  It probably drove her over the edge to keep the kids for THAT long!  0_o
 
2014-01-25 11:11:08 AM  

Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.


I had a mother who did sh*t like that. Sometimes escape isn't an option.
 
2014-01-25 11:11:28 AM  
All you people saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy" must not have sex with women.

The two italicized words are synonymous.
 
2014-01-25 11:14:07 AM  

FarkinHostile: All you people saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy" must not have sex with women.

The two italicized words are synonymous.


Can confirm

Source:  I used to have sex with women.
 
2014-01-25 11:14:28 AM  
I'm guessing that they don't have a dog to pin the blame on.

i19.photobucket.com

Oldest racket in the book.
 
2014-01-25 11:14:30 AM  

whatsupchuck: Wow, the make-up sex after all of that would have to be amazing.


That depends on whether she gets conjugal visits.
 
2014-01-25 11:15:23 AM  

FarkinHostile: All you people saying "Don't stick your dick in crazy" must not have sex with women.

The two italicized words are synonymous.


Might I suggest, pay them to leave.
 
2014-01-25 11:16:00 AM  

offmymeds: I'm guessing that they don't have a dog to pin the blame on.

[i19.photobucket.com image 500x375]

Oldest racket in the book.


Thus endeth the racket.
 
2014-01-25 11:17:27 AM  
He shot her with a knife?

I'm not sure she thought her cunning plan all the way through.
 
2014-01-25 11:19:02 AM  
Before we jump to conclusions, find out if the guy owns a knife-gun.
 
2014-01-25 11:21:59 AM  
www.dumpaday.com
 
2014-01-25 11:24:06 AM  
Friend's wife used to shout and throw things. Never hit him until one night he came home after an almost unheard-of night out with the boys. Cold cocked him and put his teeth through his lips. When he picked up the phone to call the police she said "go ahead - I'll tell them you hit me first". Fortunately she wasn't smart enough or conniving enough or was unwilling to harm herself so when the police arrived they took one look at his injuries and her lack thereof and off she went. He tells me it was a scary decision because had she punched herself in the face or put any sort of marks on her body his life would have been ruined.

Teh crazy, once it surfaces, apparently doesn't get better, it just gets worse.
 
2014-01-25 11:26:47 AM  

Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho


Don't feel bad.  We all have to have at least one of those in our lives.  Mine was in my mid-twenties.  Now that I'm close to 50, I think back with fondness to all the ahstrays being thrown, windows being broken, beer bottles smashing mirrors.  Ah good times, good times....  You have to admit, sex with a crazy woman really does make it worth it...almost.
 
2014-01-25 11:34:37 AM  
I'm surprised he didn't end up in jail.
 
2014-01-25 11:43:57 AM  

Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho


This sounds like a good motive to kill her.  Which makes me wonder if this is the real reason why some husbands have killed their wives.
 
2014-01-25 11:45:41 AM  

lack of warmth: Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho

This sounds like a good motive to kill her.  Which makes me wonder if this is the real reason why some husbands have killed their wives.


50 Way To Leave Your Lover
Just get out the back, Jack
 
2014-01-25 11:49:21 AM  

lack of warmth: Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho

This sounds like a good motive to kill her.  Which makes me wonder if this is the real reason why some husbands have killed their wives.


resources0.news.com.au

 
2014-01-25 11:53:26 AM  
I see a lot of men in this thread with a history of marrying abusive, crazy women (Cluster Bs). For fark's sake, please stop. Get help. Learn the signs.

Don't give them a chance to breed more Cluster Bs.
 
2014-01-25 11:54:53 AM  
And the man will be the one to get locked up.
 
2014-01-25 11:55:49 AM  
....  You have to admit, sex with a crazy woman really does make it worth it...almost.

There's always an exception to every rule.  I was married to that exception...shudder...
 
2014-01-25 11:56:18 AM  

texasento.net

 
2014-01-25 11:58:38 AM  

ransack.:


oops that was supposed to reply to n00b Solutare (pry from 4chan I bet) comment about bee clusters
 
2014-01-25 12:00:47 PM  

Too Pretty For Prison: Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho

Don't feel bad.  We all have to have at least one of those in our lives.  Mine was in my mid-twenties.  Now that I'm close to 50, I think back with fondness to all the ahstrays being thrown, windows being broken, beer bottles smashing mirrors.  Ah good times, good times....  You have to admit, sex with a crazy woman really does make it worth it...almost.


No. No, it doesn't. I've encountered such women twice. No one should have self-esteem so low as to tolerate violence from a partner, period. Once that line's been crossed, it doesn't get uncrossed - much better to just up & walk away from that situation, immediately after it's encountered, than see if you can somehow "work it out" or otherwise rationalize it.

There's a big difference, though, between "property damage" and "personal violence." I can understand and sympathize with someone willing to break shiat - property damage is fun, sometimes, and I've been in plenty of arguments that ended with an eventual trip to a hardware store. But, under no circumstances would I tolerate personal violence.

That is a woman willing to hurt or kill him, and then lie about it to frame him for one of the crimes still heinous enough to preserve gender bias when considering it - why in the hell would anyone do anything but wave manana at her when she's taken away by the cops?
 
2014-01-25 12:37:31 PM  
I'm not a pathologist, but even as a layman when looking at wounds in a body, I can generally tell the difference between a gunshot wound and a stabwound.

Also, unless it completely passed through the neck, the lack of a bullet is a good clue.
 
2014-01-25 01:01:07 PM  
Fortunate for him this happened in the 21st century , if it would have happened in the 20th century , he would have been arrested and convicted of attempted murder in spite of all the facts!
 
2014-01-25 01:01:26 PM  
Hmmm, no "What did he do to deserve it?" yet?
 
2014-01-25 01:07:08 PM  
My ex has tried this kind of thing on me three different times. She did this to the point of having someone beat the piss out of her from head to toe more than once. Unfortunately it's a custody tactic that usually works and has no repercussions for failing when someone tries. In the real world they only file false police report charges if there is publicity. Luckily for me three different law enforcement agencies have consecutively seen right through her attempts.

If your going through a custody situation with a crazy or malicious ex, always record all of your interactions for your own protection. This was the advise I got from my local police department after the first time she tried pulling this. Within months she tried her second attempt, complete with a 'witness'. Thankfully I had listened to the cops and the recording I made proved I never touched her and kept from me from being arrested and put in prison.
 
2014-01-25 01:30:52 PM  
Friend's ex did this in their custody battle.  She hit her head against the wall, leaving a mark.  Used it to send my friend to jail and bring up in court that was conveniently about 3 weeks away.  Apparently her lawyer heavily hinted that getting something on record would help her out greatly in the divorce proceedings.

This is why we need to do away with government marriage completely and simply allow them to enforce contracts.  All marriages require contracts PRIOR to marriage, not after.
 
2014-01-25 01:42:35 PM  

onyxruby: My ex has tried this kind of thing on me three different times. She did this to the point of having someone beat the piss out of her from head to toe more than once. Unfortunately it's a custody tactic that usually works and has no repercussions for failing when someone tries. In the real world they only file false police report charges if there is publicity. Luckily for me three different law enforcement agencies have consecutively seen right through her attempts.

If your going through a custody situation with a crazy or malicious ex, always record all of your interactions for your own protection. This was the advise I got from my local police department after the first time she tried pulling this. Within months she tried her second attempt, complete with a 'witness'. Thankfully I had listened to the cops and the recording I made proved I never touched her and kept from me from being arrested and put in prison.


She should've kept it up.  She was getting beaten, and you weren't going to jail.  Win-win.
 
2014-01-25 01:53:53 PM  

lack of warmth: She should've kept it up. She was getting beaten, and you weren't going to jail. Win-win.


This has got to the lamest trolling attempt I've seen on fark in quite some time.
 
2014-01-25 02:17:30 PM  

onyxruby: My ex has tried this kind of thing on me three different times. She did this to the point of having someone beat the piss out of her from head to toe more than once. Unfortunately it's a custody tactic that usually works and has no repercussions for failing when someone tries. In the real world they only file false police report charges if there is publicity. Luckily for me three different law enforcement agencies have consecutively seen right through her attempts.

If your going through a custody situation with a crazy or malicious ex, always record all of your interactions for your own protection. This was the advise I got from my local police department after the first time she tried pulling this. Within months she tried her second attempt, complete with a 'witness'. Thankfully I had listened to the cops and the recording I made proved I never touched her and kept from me from being arrested and put in prison.


I think in this situation I might be seriously tempted to just kill her... Many murders remain unsolved, and those kind of threats alter my calculus in terms of what I stand to lose if I get caught versus what I stand to lose if I allow her to keep spewing her lies.
 
2014-01-25 02:26:43 PM  

Notabunny: Don't stick your d*ck in crazy, dumbs


A lesson I wish my brother learned long before marrying the woman he's still married to despite being separated and both of them seeing different people (and his still-wife has had a kid, gotten engaged, and is pregnant*). I made the mistake of sticking it in crazy, but I gave him the wrong phone number and blocked his ass on the dating website I met him. (Shut up--I needed a good beej.)

*The slattern has had five kids by four different men. I've long considered calling the local CPS.
 
2014-01-25 02:28:30 PM  

Bondith: I have an ex who I think might just be capable of this.  She smacked me a few times, and when it looked like I might defend myself she threatened to call the cops and lie her ass off.

It was an effective threat, since I was certain the cops would believe her as the female, especially since she has a history of emotional manipulation and bragged about telling judges exactly what they want to hear.

/someone fire up the DeLorean and tell my younger self to stay the hell away from that psycho


It doesn't matter. I had a cut lip from when the ex backhanded me and I still took the ride because it was obviously my fault for getting her that upset.
 
2014-01-25 02:29:33 PM  

mekkab: indylaw: I don't care how good it is - stay away from crazy.

And if you must, make sure she doesn't know your real name.

protip: only have a fake ID in your wallet when you go over for the booty-call.


I just leave the sample that comes with my velcro Walmart wallet.
 
2014-01-25 02:31:19 PM  

MemeSlave: He shot her with a knife?

I'm not sure she thought her cunning plan all the way through.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-25 02:33:52 PM  

JesusJuice: I think in this situation I might be seriously tempted to just kill her... Many murders remain unsolved, and those kind of threats alter my calculus in terms of what I stand to lose if I get caught versus what I stand to lose if I allow her to keep spewing her lies.


No need, she'll put herself in prison sooner or later with one thing or another. I just make sure every interaction with her is recorded for my own protection. At this point she has no credibility with the cops and the court already found her not to be credible on other matters. She pulls something like this at least once a year, I've learned what I have to do to protect myself. The fun thing is that I get to present all these attempts to the judge in just over a month.

I wanted to warn other people as I've heard too many stories about other people that lost custody and got put in jail or prison this way. It's a custody tactic for her, her mother did the same thing to her father and she did the same thing to the guy she was with before me. I have absolutely no doubt she'll do the same thing to the next guy she is with.
 
2014-01-25 02:42:56 PM  

onyxruby: JesusJuice: I think in this situation I might be seriously tempted to just kill her... Many murders remain unsolved, and those kind of threats alter my calculus in terms of what I stand to lose if I get caught versus what I stand to lose if I allow her to keep spewing her lies.

No need, she'll put herself in prison sooner or later with one thing or another. I just make sure every interaction with her is recorded for my own protection. At this point she has no credibility with the cops and the court already found her not to be credible on other matters. She pulls something like this at least once a year, I've learned what I have to do to protect myself. The fun thing is that I get to present all these attempts to the judge in just over a month.

I wanted to warn other people as I've heard too many stories about other people that lost custody and got put in jail or prison this way. It's a custody tactic for her, her mother did the same thing to her father and she did the same thing to the guy she was with before me. I have absolutely no doubt she'll do the same thing to the next guy she is with.


Yeah, there's no reason to do anything drastic in your situation because the courts are seeing through her lies.

But what if they weren't, and you were in the same situation as her ex or father? In that case, the best thing to do may really be just to get rid of her...
 
2014-01-25 02:43:34 PM  

ramblinwreck: Hmmm, no "What did he do to deserve it?" yet?


Hill sez, "What difference does it make?"
 
2014-01-25 03:00:46 PM  

JesusJuice: But what if they weren't, and you were in the same situation as her ex or father?


Too many people lose custody that way and end up in jail or prison. I consider myself lucky after hearing too many horror stories. Since the cops never pursue false report charges the only thing I can do is educate other people so they don't fall in the same trap.
 
2014-01-25 03:40:58 PM  

onyxruby: lack of warmth: She should've kept it up. She was getting beaten, and you weren't going to jail. Win-win.

This has got to the lamest trolling attempt I've seen on fark in quite some time.


Not troll, you didn't find if funny.  Your problem, not mine.
 
2014-01-25 04:37:24 PM  
It always strikes me how conspicuously absent female voices are in these threads. Never any "seriously guys, this chick was nuts, this is NOT representative of the majority of women" or "yeah, had a (sister, aunt, cousin, friend, etc) that used to pull shiat like that. biatch was cray-cray". Nothing, just silence. Almost as if this thread (and similar ones) have a silent audience thinking to themselves "look at this dumb one that got caught"
 
2014-01-25 04:51:38 PM  

PolyHatSnake: It always strikes me how conspicuously absent female voices are in these threads. Never any "seriously guys, this chick was nuts, this is NOT representative of the majority of women" or "yeah, had a (sister, aunt, cousin, friend, etc) that used to pull shiat like that. biatch was cray-cray". Nothing, just silence. Almost as if this thread (and similar ones) have a silent audience thinking to themselves "look at this dumb one that got caught"


Or just avoiding the usual misogynistic rants of the Oppressed Men's Liberation Front.
 
2014-01-25 05:13:55 PM  

PolyHatSnake: It always strikes me how conspicuously absent female voices are in these threads. Never any "seriously guys, this chick was nuts, this is NOT representative of the majority of women" or "yeah, had a (sister, aunt, cousin, friend, etc) that used to pull shiat like that. biatch was cray-cray". Nothing, just silence. Almost as if this thread (and similar ones) have a silent audience thinking to themselves "look at this dumb one that got caught"


Most of Fark is north of 90% male. It's a regular sausage-fest here, and it takes very specific threads to get women out in droves. (TFD is much more balanced, at least years ago.) Why would you expect them to pile on into yet another of these threads?

Anyway, despite the bitter brigade, men do the same crazy shiat (less often) or just overtly threaten/beat/kill their divorcing spouses too. Lower class and immigrants especially, but there are plenty of stories of wealthy upper-class men being vindictive pricks. Murder-suicides and plain murder over custody are still nearly all by men. That's slowly evening out as crazy women start to get as much power as crazy men.

Face it, humans suck. Just try to suck less, instead of dividing and demanding that other people own some stranger's suckage.
 
2014-01-25 05:23:45 PM  

PolyHatSnake: It always strikes me how conspicuously absent female voices are in these threads. Never any "seriously guys, this chick was nuts, this is NOT representative of the majority of women" or "yeah, had a (sister, aunt, cousin, friend, etc) that used to pull shiat like that. biatch was cray-cray". Nothing, just silence. Almost as if this thread (and similar ones) have a silent audience thinking to themselves "look at this dumb one that got caught"


Here's one female who thinks this woman is a psycho, and that anyone who sets someone else up like that should be in the lowest reaches of Dante's Inferno. (I think the worst one I've ever heard was that story from a few years back about the woman who had her boyfriend beat her up in order to frame her ex for attempted murder -- the only thing that saved the guy was the record of a credit card transaction fifty miles away. That she wasn't sent to jail is an absolute travesty -- there was no ambiguity there even, just a straight-up frame). But I have to ask, how can you tell the sex ratio for sure? I can't always tell who's male or female just by the information given. Not every woman has a screen name ending in "girl".
 
2014-01-25 06:06:27 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Or just avoiding the usual misogynistic rants of the Oppressed Men's Liberation Front.


Why assume a hatred of women? The women I've known for years or decades are appalled at what my ex did and have been more than willing to testify on my behalf. Some of these women have been victims of domestic abuse themselves. How is warning others or sharing stories any different than women doing the same?
 
2014-01-25 08:44:03 PM  
FARK: She shoots you in the arm and head, and while you stagger to the neighbors for help, stabs herself in the neck and calls police saying you shot her   (wtkr.com)

So the guy has gunshots to his arm and head, and she has a neckstab. And she's claiming the dude shot her, even though she has no gunshot wounds?

/Wat.
//dnrtfa
 
2014-01-25 09:32:15 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Or just avoiding the usual misogynistic rants of the Oppressed Men's Liberation Front.


Oh I can't stand those guys.  They are so ranty.  You should check out the Liberation Front of Oppressed Men.  They are much more reasonable thinkers with still some compassion for women.

Also, stay away from Men's Liberation from Oppression Front.

/Monty Python joke, in case it needs explaining
 
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