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(Foodbeast)   Taco Bell continues using Mad Libs to create new menu items, latest invention: Quesarito   (foodbeast.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, Mad Libs, Taco Bell, menu items, chipotles  
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6453 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2014 at 2:11 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-25 09:24:56 AM
Your ass will feel like a Quasarita after your Quesarito
 
2014-01-25 09:26:43 AM
From The Onion, 1997:

"Taco Bell Introduces New 'Morning After' Burrito"

...the "ContraceptiMelt"

Classic.
 
2014-01-25 09:27:59 AM
static1.fjcdn.com
Quesarito!  Nicaragua!  Lake Titicaca!
 
2014-01-25 09:29:16 AM

OnlyM3: og_jammin: people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?
Hipster typing detected. The horror of a restaurant putting spices in their food! It's an outrage!


The latest outrage wasn't about spices, it was about the inclusion of "pink slime", an ammonia-treated meat byproduct that isn't approved for use in the UK or Canada, and can only be used as a filler in the US, not sold by itself as any kind of food product. Complain all you want about "hipsters", but I'm fine with knowing they were pressured to quit using the stuff.
 
2014-01-25 09:29:30 AM

carrion_luggage: WHAR BURRIZZA? WHAR?


You'd think they would have made one by now, with all those Pizza Hut / KFC / Taco Bell heart attack specialty centers.
 
2014-01-25 09:36:18 AM
You could tell them how much it sucks, Dr. Jones. If only you spoke Quesaritos
 
2014-01-25 09:37:20 AM
Taco bell meat like product reminds me of the grease build up that the sanitation department scrapes out of the sewer system.
 
2014-01-25 09:38:05 AM

Plant Rights Activist: I can't justify going to taco bell when there is a del taco nearby.  Higher quality, lower price.  Still terrible for you fast food.


The only Del Taco in my state closed two weeks ago. That's the only excuse I have.
 
2014-01-25 09:48:02 AM
No one noticed when they stole the Naco from Ron Stoppable and changed the name to "Grilled Stuft Nacho", so now they think they can get away with anything.
 
2014-01-25 09:52:03 AM

Bawdy George: Harry_Seldon: I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's

Those three slices of black olive took it to... 11?


I took the olives off but that was the best item they ever made.  The tostada's were about 50% larger in diameter back in those days as well.
 
2014-01-25 09:53:09 AM
The only Del Taco in my state closed two weeks ago

Del Taco is a western U.S. chain, I don't think they exist beyond Indiana or so.  If you're gonna eat crappy Americanized Mexican food, at least pick Del Taco over Taco Bell.

/ Used to love the macho combo burrito when I was a lad, now it's just a rare chicken taco or fish taco.
 
2014-01-25 09:56:05 AM
I was going to make a Taco Bell diarrhea joke, but I just couldn't manage to keep it together.
 
2014-01-25 10:04:38 AM
Chipotle already did it

/It's on the secret menu
//valid at least in AZ and Washington, DC
 
2014-01-25 10:24:22 AM

Summoner101: Chipotle already did it

/It's on the secret menu
//valid at least in AZ and Washington, DC


you beat me to it!
 
2014-01-25 10:50:05 AM

maram500: I...I would order two of them with chicken and plenty of sour cream

/And mild sauce


Why exactly do people use the mild sauce at taco bell? I'll be honest; when I was working downtown and like a 3 minute walk from a food court, I'd probably eat there 1-2 times a week. 2-3 standard tacos, or one nachos express and 1 taco, basically a couple food items that comes under 4$.

The hot sauce was more sweet than spicy; you get more kick from a Franks or something. I did like the green sauce, but again, it was supposed to be 'hot' and never had a remote sense of kick to me. I've eaten olives with more spice.
 
2014-01-25 10:53:50 AM
Hey, quesarito! The dance sensation that's sweeping the nation!
 
2014-01-25 11:06:29 AM
Wake me when Taco Bell starts making a Chupaqueso.
 
2014-01-25 11:07:34 AM

hlehmann: Del Taco is a western U.S. chain, I don't think they exist beyond Indiana or so.  If you're gonna eat crappy Americanized Mexican food, at least pick Del Taco over Taco Bell.

T

hey've expanded a bit.  First one I went to was in Atlanta.  I also saw one in Orlando last month.

The one that closed was in Rock Hill, South Carolina.  Anytime we were up that way we'd swing through.
 
2014-01-25 11:11:19 AM

Evil Mackerel: Taco bell meat like product reminds me of the grease build up that the sanitation department scrapes out of the sewer system.


Shoot, man. You could treat that shiat with som ammonia, filter it a few times, and sell it to fast food places for fry grease.
 
2014-01-25 11:46:49 AM

carrion_luggage: WHAR BURRIZZA? WHAR?


Years ago, I got something that tasted like a pizza inside a burrito at a food stand inside the Phoenix Convention Center. It was fairly good, and I'd get one again, but it was also $11. I'm not sure if Taco Bell could cut the price down enough to make it profitable without using beef nose and non-dairy extrudable cheeselike product.

PunkTiger: Chupaqueso.


The process for making one of those by hand seems like it'd take more skill than a minimum-wage fast food worker could be expected to have. A machine that'd make one should be possible, but it'd take money to research and design it--money that'd be better spent on lots of bad TV commercials. I'm surprised that no wannabe celebrity chefs have tried to make chupaquesos with locally sourced cheese and artisanal bacon as a publicity stunt/signature dish, though, since it seems like something that'd work reasonably well for that.
 
2014-01-25 12:20:38 PM
Once again, they have not done their homework. Quesarito means dirty ass hole in mexican slang.
 
2014-01-25 12:47:01 PM
Taco Bell can name their menu items pretty much anything they want, but that's not gonna cause me to go out to eat their crappy "Mexican food". Disgusting.
 
2014-01-25 01:00:16 PM

lionfish: Harry_Seldon: I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's

They still make them.They never stopped.


At least here (New York) they all disappeared about a year ago.  They seem to have been replaced by the "smothered burrito" which is hardly an equivalent (and i don't care for the sour cream on that thing).

//Miss my Enchirto fixes
 
2014-01-25 01:05:59 PM

some_beer_drinker: i met a chick at a bar one night, and we stopped at taco bell on the way back to her place. later on, after a vigorous session of bed sport, i was having trouble sleeping...and felt like i had a big fart brewing. i tried to be as quiet as i could, she was not a bad looking chick, and i hoped to bang her again. as i tried to squeeze out the fart...i came to the horrible realization that it was more than a fart. it was a runny fluid of what i eaten earlier, mixed with the toxic taco bell catalyst. i didn't know what to do..i tried to clean it up, but it was hopelessly smeared all over the sheets, and the bed. panicking, i wrote a note and left it on her dresser.

'i can't believe you shiat the bed, you nasty skank!'


And that's after she tried to pay with that $2 bill...
 
2014-01-25 01:59:36 PM
Of course, Chipotle has had those for about a year...
 
2014-01-25 02:34:10 PM
You stay fat America
 
2014-01-25 05:07:16 PM

hlehmann: The only Del Taco in my state closed two weeks ago

Del Taco is a western U.S. chain, I don't think they exist beyond Indiana or so.  If you're gonna eat crappy Americanized Mexican food, at least pick Del Taco over Taco Bell.

/ Used to love the macho combo burrito when I was a lad, now it's just a rare chicken taco or fish taco.


Rare chicken? I hope you're immune to salmonella.
 
2014-01-25 05:36:17 PM

Leishu: GreatGlavinsGhost: [i1222.photobucket.com image 640x476]

Prefixes don't go at the ends of words. Suffixes do.

Yes, I AM a blast at parties. Why do you ask?


Damnit.
 
2014-01-25 06:02:00 PM
So, in the name of junk science, I tried the "beef" and "chicken" versions of this today.

They look like regular burritos; the outside is not crispy like a good quesadilla, just a flour tortilla. Inside that is melted cheese, and inside that is a regular burrito with your protein, rice, the usual stuff, and what tastes like the tangy sauce they put inside the "Grilled Stuft XXL" burritos.

It was...like a burrito with more melted cheese. If you like the burritos, you'll like this. If you're indifferent, this won't change your mind. Pricing was $1.99 for ground beef, $2.79 for shredded chicken, and $2.99 for steak (which I did not try). It's not as interesting as the Doritos or Cantina efforts of the past few years, but it's tasty.
 
2014-01-25 06:14:21 PM
Sha'naquito

Oh forget it. I think this is a different group of people we're being racist about.
 
2014-01-25 07:19:13 PM

Harry_Seldon: I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's


They still make Enchirritos here, but it just isn't the same because it's served in a paper basket instead of an aluminum one, and there's no sliced olives on top of them anymore. They say the olives might be an E. Coli risk. MY ASS!

Plus the Tostadas are impossible to eat because the corn discs are so thin that the weight of the toppings will break everything apart if you try to pick it up.
 
2014-01-25 09:48:42 PM
Freebirds did that like a year ago...nothing new
 
2014-01-26 07:17:46 AM

macdaddy357: Once again, they have not done their homework. Quesarito means dirty ass hole in mexican slang.


Gilipollas!


/missing spain
 
2014-01-26 07:19:23 AM
Que sera serito.
 
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