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(Foodbeast)   Taco Bell continues using Mad Libs to create new menu items, latest invention: Quesarito   (foodbeast.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, Mad Libs, Taco Bell, menu items, chipotles  
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6480 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2014 at 2:11 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-25 12:19:01 AM  
Are they trying to kill their customers?
 
2014-01-25 12:41:39 AM  
Next up: the Diarrulpa
 
2014-01-25 12:44:45 AM  
Just as long as you don't actually think that anything you get at Taco Bell is Mexican food...
 
2014-01-25 12:48:16 AM  
How is this even remotely like Mad Libs?
 
2014-01-25 12:57:21 AM  
I think they've finally jumped the fish taco

/*giggity*
 
2014-01-25 01:08:50 AM  
people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?
 
2014-01-25 01:14:56 AM  
Remember Joel's 'Curly Joe Dorito'?
 
2014-01-25 02:15:50 AM  
Isn't everything there just a tortilla with lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, and ground meat? Why does it matter what it's called?
 
2014-01-25 02:18:11 AM  
I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's
 
2014-01-25 02:21:27 AM  

Solid State Vittles: How is this even remotely like Mad Libs?


It's more akin to a LeBeuf than a Mad Libs. First line of TFA notes that it is not an original idea.

/used to work for Freebirds
 
2014-01-25 02:21:32 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Remember Joel's 'Curly Joe Dorito'?


Get out of my head!

/and don't give them any ideas.
 
2014-01-25 02:22:30 AM  
now i'm hungry
 
2014-01-25 02:24:10 AM  

jake_lex: Next up: the Diarrulpa


The Craparito.
 
2014-01-25 02:24:16 AM  
I will totally eat this.
 
2014-01-25 02:25:20 AM  
I always liked their enchirito

then i just started eating mexican food
 
2014-01-25 02:29:32 AM  
I'd probably eat that.

/I sound fat
 
2014-01-25 02:43:48 AM  
Sounds good to me. Too bad I only eat at locally owned diners, restaurants, or food trucks that only use organically grown, gluten-free ingredients.
I'm hungry
 
2014-01-25 02:49:20 AM  
I...I would order two of them with chicken and plenty of sour cream

/And mild sauce
 
2014-01-25 02:50:57 AM  
I'd love to see someone open a respectable restaurant that serves that same items as Taco Bell, except made out of real food by decent chefs. I'm sure they'd be sued into oblivion, though.
 
2014-01-25 02:52:55 AM  
I'd have to go straight home to wash out my beard.
 
2014-01-25 02:54:28 AM  
We're one step closer to Quesadilla!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-25 02:57:10 AM  

jake_lex: Next up: the Diarrulpa


Most Taco Bell already gives me some pretty intense stomach feels, but adding that much cheese on top of the usual suspects in a burrito is going to an entirely new level.  And yet, I know I'll order two of the damn things when and if they finally make it to my neck of the woods.

log_jammin: people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?


Honestly, the only problem with their "taco mean filling" not being entirely meat is that they were trying to pretend it was.  It's not like they were cutting it with ground insect or something.  If adding cornmeal and a little soy makes the meat stretch further without interfering with the flavor (i.e. the hot sauce I apply to said tacos) then I really don't care.  Hell, I'd argue that it makes the stuff better at soaking up hot sauce.  If I need to know it's all beef or all chicken I'll just order a steak or chicken taco from them.
 
2014-01-25 03:02:26 AM  

HotWingAgenda: I'd love to see someone open a respectable restaurant that serves that same items as Taco Bell, except made out of real food by decent chefs. I'm sure they'd be sued into oblivion, though.


You cannot trademark, patent, or otherwise prevent the use of a recipe using commonly available ingredients.  It's why Coca-Cola, Pepsi, KFC, and everyone else are so uptight about keeping their formula secret.  Now there ARE some limited protections for the minute specifics - like if someone managed to get their hands on the recipe for Coke and produced it for sale they'd probably get sued.

However, suing someone because they made a taco with flatbread instead of a tortilla or wrapped a burrito in two layers of tortilla with cheese in between would go nowhere quick.  Can you imagine the lawsuits otherwise?  "We at Chili's have exclusive claim to the process of breading and frying a whole onion."
 
2014-01-25 03:08:11 AM  

Weatherkiss: Isn't everything there just a tortilla with lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, and ground meat? Why does it matter what it's called?


This. I worked at a Taco Bell for a few years in my youth and they only have like a dozen ingredients that they slap together in different ways. They rarely come up with actually new items, just new ways to slap their existing items together.

I'll never forget when they came out with that damn Taquito or whatever it was. Those things sold like they were crack even though they were nothing more than the scraps of cheese and steak leftover from the bigger items thrown into a tortilla.
 
2014-01-25 03:09:56 AM  

Harry_Seldon: I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's


They still make them.They never stopped.
 
2014-01-25 03:21:38 AM  
They discontinued the volcano burrito. I shall never return.
 
2014-01-25 03:23:34 AM  
i met a chick at a bar one night, and we stopped at taco bell on the way back to her place. later on, after a vigorous session of bed sport, i was having trouble sleeping...and felt like i had a big fart brewing. i tried to be as quiet as i could, she was not a bad looking chick, and i hoped to bang her again. as i tried to squeeze out the fart...i came to the horrible realization that it was more than a fart. it was a runny fluid of what i eaten earlier, mixed with the toxic taco bell catalyst. i didn't know what to do..i tried to clean it up, but it was hopelessly smeared all over the sheets, and the bed. panicking, i wrote a note and left it on her dresser.

'i can't believe you shiat the bed, you nasty skank!'
 
2014-01-25 03:24:09 AM  

Harry_Seldon: I used to love the Enchirito back in the best decade ever,*

*1980's


Those three slices of black olive took it to... 11?
 
2014-01-25 03:29:26 AM  
More like quesadildo.
 
2014-01-25 03:30:15 AM  

HotWingAgenda: I'd love to see someone open a respectable restaurant that serves that same items as Taco Bell, except made out of real food by decent chefs. I'm sure they'd be sued into oblivion, though.


In my tiny town there was a Taco Bell / KFC.  First Taco Bell in BC. Bad location.  Bad food, even by Taco Bell / KFC standards.  They hung on for a long long time, but closed a couple of years ago.  In their place has opened a mom-n-pop Mexican food & fried chicken place. I haven't tried their Mexican fare. but I have heard it is good. Their chicken is damned good. Kinda like how I remember KFC original recipe tasting back in the 70s.

You have to wonder, though, about the business model of opening a restaurant that is identical to the one that just closed and without the  benefit of any corporate backing or known brand name.  They are often noticeably empty.  I suspect there is a Taco Bell-shaped building that will be for rent in the near future.  Too bad.
 
2014-01-25 03:38:37 AM  
I can't justify going to taco bell when there is a del taco nearby.  Higher quality, lower price.  Still terrible for you fast food.
 
2014-01-25 03:51:46 AM  

Weatherkiss: Isn't everything there just a tortilla with lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, and ground meat? Why does it matter what it's called?


splitsider.com

"What is a nacho?"
"Tortilla, meat, cheese, vegetable."

"Well how 'bout a taco?"
"Tortilla, meat, cheese, vegetable"

"Whats a fa-ji-ta?"
"Tortilla, meat cheese vegetable?"

"Whats a tos-ta-ta?"
"Tort--LOOK LADY, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME, JUST PICK SOMETHING!"
 
2014-01-25 03:53:03 AM  
i1222.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-25 03:54:24 AM  

Solid State Vittles: How is this even remotely like Mad Libs?


It's more like a portmaneurito
 
2014-01-25 04:07:04 AM  
Taco Bell, Mexican phone book?
 
2014-01-25 05:06:54 AM  
Freebirds is far superior to Taco Bell. Also, their staff doesn't have to wear goddamned uniforms since they're only making farking burritos. And they hire a lot of hot younger girls.

/except half of them are plumpers
 
2014-01-25 05:14:39 AM  

Mark Ratner: Sounds good to me. Too bad I only eat at locally owned diners, restaurants, or food trucks that only use organically grown, gluten-free ingredients.
I'm hungry


Typical human sheep.  I only eat food I grow or raise myself using nothing but flint tools.  My animals are reared and raised by individual wet nurses and nannies, and they're given a comprehensive education and jobs until they die from natural causes.
 
2014-01-25 07:05:22 AM  
Ok I've been pretty lenient so far but I'm pretty sure that one of those words has to be penis
 
2014-01-25 07:26:32 AM  
Melted shredded cheese- yum.
Baja Sauce aka cheese and pepper flavored mayo - yuck!
gimme a quesarito, no Baja sauce please!
 
2014-01-25 07:28:05 AM  
Mad libs? What does the politics fan have to do with this?
 
2014-01-25 07:30:17 AM  

yukichigai: jake_lex: Next up: the Diarrulpa

Most Taco Bell already gives me some pretty intense stomach feels, but adding that much cheese on top of the usual suspects in a burrito is going to an entirely new level.  And yet, I know I'll order two of the damn things when and if they finally make it to my neck of the woods.

log_jammin: people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?

Honestly, the only problem with their "taco mean filling" not being entirely meat is that they were trying to pretend it was.  It's not like they were cutting it with ground insect or something.  If adding cornmeal and a little soy makes the meat stretch further without interfering with the flavor (i.e. the hot sauce I apply to said tacos) then I really don't care.  Hell, I'd argue that it makes the stuff better at soaking up hot sauce.  If I need to know it's all beef or all chicken I'll just order a steak or chicken taco from them.


Taco Bell meat is always varying its fillers but always like 70% beef by weight. You have to have fillers or else the grease from the beef will leak everywhere. The main filler was soy protein when I worked there. Oat bran has been a go-to as well for them. It's when the filling is rich in fiber that you might get some bathroom urgency after eating. It isn't always that way.
 
2014-01-25 08:09:40 AM  
og_jammin: people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?

Hipster typing detected. The horror of a restaurant putting spices in their food! It's an outrage!
 
2014-01-25 08:16:23 AM  
static.giantbomb.com
 
2014-01-25 08:30:05 AM  

Plant Rights Activist: I can't justify going to taco bell when there is a del taco nearby.  Higher quality, lower price.  Still terrible for you fast food.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-25 08:42:13 AM  
No subby. They use a book of black baby names
 
2014-01-25 08:43:03 AM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: [i1222.photobucket.com image 640x476]


Prefixes don't go at the ends of words. Suffixes do.

Yes, I AM a blast at parties. Why do you ask?
 
2014-01-25 08:45:24 AM  
GentDirkly:log_jammin: people still eat there after the whole "taco meat filling" thing?

Honestly, the only problem with their "taco mean filling" not being entirely meat is that they were trying to pretend it was.  It's not like they were cutting it with ground insect or something.  If adding cornmeal and a little soy makes the meat stretch further without interfering with the flavor (i.e. the hot sauce I apply to said tacos) then I really don't care.  Hell, I'd argue that it makes the stuff better at soaking up hot sauce.  If I need to know it's all beef or all chicken I'll just order a steak or chicken taco from them.

Taco Bell meat is always varying its fillers but always like 70% beef by weight. You have to have fillers or else the grease from the beef will leak everywhere. The main filler was soy protein when I worked there. Oat bran has been a go-to as well for them. It's when the filling is rich in fiber that you might get some bathroom urgency after eating. It isn't always that way.


Seriously, it was more ignorant outrage than actual deception. I mean, if it was truly 100% ground beef, there would be no seasoning whatsoever. The seasoning usage is probably, without the soy/oat, 10% just in actual flavor. Would people still be outraged if it was 90% beef? No? Then they shouldn't be allowed to be fake outraged about this.

Just another coconuts-knocking-together great moment in the history of ignorant outrage against foods in the US.
 
2014-01-25 08:56:21 AM  

BBtB: I'd probably eat that.


Maybe I should try one.  I've got some $2 bills ready to go.
 
2014-01-25 08:57:45 AM  
Wow, a new name for the same old shiat
 
2014-01-25 09:06:33 AM  
WHAR BURRIZZA? WHAR?
 
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