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(Daily Mail)   I'm not saying Noah was an alien, but he built a giant UFO. You can't explain that   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 37
    More: Weird, Noah's Ark, clay tablet, UFO, Elizabeth Vargas, Josh Brent, Mesopotamia, Sumerians, Irving Finkel  
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5809 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2014 at 7:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-24 07:50:16 PM  
Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.
 
2014-01-24 07:51:43 PM  
it's starting to get nutty nutty
 
2014-01-24 07:53:15 PM  
s2.quickmeme.com

Fano: it's starting to get nutty nutty


not yet it ain't....
 
2014-01-24 07:56:24 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.


Was gonna say. Who cares about the shape of something that never existed? Oh, right, the Daily Fail.
 
2014-01-24 08:01:25 PM  
"The craft was divided into sections to divide the various animals into their own sections."

/mindblown
 
2014-01-24 08:04:50 PM  
Imagic did it first: The sequel to Atlantis was Space Ark
 
2014-01-24 08:07:24 PM  
i235.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-24 08:11:19 PM  
There was some guy that tracked down the Ark to a little village in Ethiopia and it turned out to be round too.
 
2014-01-24 08:15:13 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: There was some guy that tracked down the Ark to a little village in Ethiopia and it turned out to be round too.


that was subby's mom
 
2014-01-24 08:16:55 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: There was some guy that tracked down the Ark to a little village in Ethiopia and it turned out to be round too.


Ethiopians tend to be a bit round too, if you starve them long enough.

/going to hell on an express flight for that
//if there were such a place
///coach
 
2014-01-24 08:20:11 PM  
Noah built my hot rod.
Now I just ding a ling lang with my ding a ling dong.
 
2014-01-24 08:28:21 PM  
Well he built it using cubits, so quantum computing was obviously involved.

/not saying it was aliens...
 
2014-01-24 08:29:33 PM  
Sure I can explain: Finkel is Einhorn, Einhorn is German for unicorn, unicorns got on the boat, boat was poorly built (not German engineered...oh snap!) and sank, ergo no more unicorns.

Prove me wrong, I dare you. I double dare you!
 
2014-01-24 08:31:40 PM  

mutterfark: Well he built it using cubits, so quantum computing was obviously involved.

/not saying it was aliens...


No, he used qberts. So it was definitely aliens.
 
2014-01-24 08:39:21 PM  

SurelyShirley: Sure I can explain: Finkel is Einhorn, Einhorn is German for unicorn, unicorns got on the boat, boat was poorly built (not German engineered...oh snap!) and sank, ergo no more unicorns.

Prove me wrong, I dare you. I double dare you!


You're hypothesis may have some merit, but I wasn't able to follow it beyond this point:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-24 08:41:01 PM  
 
2014-01-24 08:44:43 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: There was some guy that tracked down the Ark to a little village in Ethiopia and it turned out to be round too.


The Ark is located in the Money Pit on Oak Island.
 
2014-01-24 09:08:42 PM  
"Disregard possessions and save lives!"

Is that anything like "Disregard females; acquire currency"?
 
2014-01-24 09:26:31 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-24 09:28:04 PM  
Too bad the actual scientist quoted in the Daily Fail doesn't say anything like that...
 
2014-01-24 10:06:20 PM  
Bye Newman?
 
2014-01-24 10:42:06 PM  
foobaw foobaw foobaw...

*bing*
 
2014-01-24 10:44:52 PM  
Noah's Raft doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
 
2014-01-24 11:07:55 PM  
I want you to build an Ark
Right!
Whats an Ark?
Get some wood build it
300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits
Right!
Whats a cubit?
Lets see a cubit...I used to know what a cubit was
Well don't worry about that Noah
When you get that done
Go out into the world and
Collect all of the animals in the world by twos
Male and female, and put them into the ark
Right!
Who is this really?
 
2014-01-24 11:32:01 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.


And a round fictional boat is even more improbable. 220 foot diameter of reeds and bitumen carrying 2 of every species on Earth? They must have stacked them pretty high.
 
2014-01-24 11:49:53 PM  

whatshisname: Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.

And a round fictional boat is even more improbable. 220 foot diameter of reeds and bitumen carrying 2 of every species on Earth? They must have stacked them pretty high.


Well, they said it was 220 feet in diameter, but didn't say how TALL it was. It could have been a huge silo, miles tall...
 
2014-01-24 11:51:03 PM  
I don't know if it's been said but can't we ask Gilgamesh?
 
2014-01-25 12:01:13 AM  
How Noah was able to store all those animals.
redicecreations.com
 
2014-01-25 12:31:57 AM  

Gyrfalcon: whatshisname: Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.

And a round fictional boat is even more improbable. 220 foot diameter of reeds and bitumen carrying 2 of every species on Earth? They must have stacked them pretty high.

Well, they said it was 220 feet in diameter, but didn't say how TALL it was. It could have been a huge silo, miles tall...


Yeah, that would be even more seaworthy than your average coracle that's 22o feet wide!
 
2014-01-25 01:04:40 AM  
FTA:
"Already in 1872 people were writing about it in a worried way - What does it mean that Holy Writ appears on this piece of Weetabix?" he joked, referring to a cereal similar in shape to the tablet.

Wikipedia:
Weetabix was invented in Australia in the 1920s by Bennison Osborne. He and New Zealand partner Malcolm Macfarlane sold the Australian and New Zealand rights for "Weet-Bix" to Sanitarium Health Food Company in 1930.

Yup.
 
2014-01-25 01:09:33 AM  
I have a distant relative by marriage who is the official photographer for one of these "we found Noah's ark" groups.  He's a nice guy and all, but really and truly believes this shiat, "young Earth" crap and the like.  I just steer the conversation away from that when we are at family gatherings.  Makes things a whole lot less tense.
 
2014-01-25 02:20:23 AM  

whatshisname: Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.

And a round fictional boat is even more improbable. 220 foot diameter of reeds and bitumen carrying 2 of every species on Earth? They must have stacked them pretty high.


It was seven of every creature. Well, the clean ones anyway. The unclean animals were in twos. Artists painted just two no matter what because lazy people

Genesis

2Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
3Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

Still don't know why he too the unclean animals at all, since the idea of the flood was to get rid of the unclean
 
2014-01-25 04:27:21 AM  
Yeah, a 200 ft circle is about 31,000 Sqft. An Are of land is about 43,000. He really fit the whole of existence into 2 lots that were about 3/4 of am acre each.
 
2014-01-25 09:49:39 AM  
This should explain all of your questions about the capacity of Noah's Ark

spinoff.comicbookresources.com
 
2014-01-25 10:05:25 AM  

Mikey1969: Yeah, a 200 ft circle is about 31,000 Sqft. An Are of land is about 43,000. He really fit the whole of existence into 2 lots that were about 3/4 of am acre each.


Sounds like the Atlanta zoo
 
2014-01-25 04:18:48 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Yeah I can. Noah was a fictional character with a equally fictional magical boat.

 
2014-01-25 06:14:13 PM  
img.fark.net
 
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