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(The Hill)   Where am I? Find out Monday - Rep. Steve Stockman (@StockmanSenate) -- Predictions to the right   (thehill.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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2062 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jan 2014 at 4:49 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-24 05:11:18 PM  
10 votes:
Prepare to meet "Stephanie" Stockman on Monday.
2014-01-24 04:36:08 PM  
10 votes:
www.simpsoncrazy.com
2014-01-24 04:17:37 PM  
9 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-24 04:09:36 PM  
9 votes:
Returning with the Riders of Rohan to aid Gondor against Obama?
2014-01-24 04:17:46 PM  
8 votes:
I don't know, but I bet it's going to involve a Guatemalan rent boy, a glory hole, and a Gene Simmons mask.
2014-01-24 04:58:28 PM  
6 votes:
in the bathroom of a rest stop balls deep in "family values."
2014-01-24 04:20:09 PM  
6 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk
2014-01-24 04:51:38 PM  
5 votes:
Appalachian Trail?
2014-01-24 04:44:51 PM  
5 votes:
He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.
2014-01-24 05:05:22 PM  
4 votes:
cf.badassdigest.com
2014-01-24 05:00:52 PM  
4 votes:
Visiting urban areas and clubbing the poor like baby seals.
2014-01-24 04:34:38 PM  
4 votes:
He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!
2014-01-24 04:25:07 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-24 05:25:06 PM  
3 votes:
It turns out Buddhists are full of shiat and he was able to achieve enlightenment at a Stuckey's in Anahuac without any meditating.
2014-01-24 05:01:39 PM  
3 votes:
www.metrosea.com

Nimoy knows.
2014-01-24 04:54:01 PM  
3 votes:
In subby's mom.  MSHA had to send in three mine rescue teams into her cavernous vagina to get him out.  Lives were lost, canaries died, but the good Representative was brought out safely.

Subby, please have your mom install guard rails around her vagina, or require that all men having intercourse with her wear a full body harness with a lanyard that's secured to a safe tie-off point.

Note:
Stockman is a sack of crap, just naming subby's mom as a convenient target.
2014-01-24 04:42:07 PM  
3 votes:

Diogenes: [www.simpsoncrazy.com image 320x240]


OK I may have just done that thing where I had to fake a coughing fit at work because I started laughing
2014-01-24 10:36:27 PM  
2 votes:
earnthis.net

It worked this time
2014-01-24 06:12:53 PM  
2 votes:
mrwgifs.com
2014-01-24 05:59:27 PM  
2 votes:
He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.
2014-01-24 05:28:41 PM  
2 votes:
He was interviewing for the Browns head coaching position, only to be beat out by Mike Pettine.
2014-01-24 05:28:11 PM  
2 votes:
I'm guessing it involved a megachurch pastor, an industrial sized vat of lube, Viagra, and lots of meth.
2014-01-24 05:25:00 PM  
2 votes:
Airport bathroom?
2014-01-24 05:15:35 PM  
2 votes:
From the clues in the text, he's on a 3 day bender.
2014-01-24 05:09:12 PM  
2 votes:
Do we care?

Are we caring now?
2014-01-24 05:08:22 PM  
2 votes:

qorkfiend: No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?


He's been avoiding his job duties due to lots and lots of shiat going on about his campaign finances.  This is just another layer of distraction to avoid having to explain why money is turning up missing.
2014-01-24 05:05:12 PM  
2 votes:
I don't know where he is, but I can guarantee you he will blame Obama and a certain segment of the population will nod knowingly as he does.
2014-01-24 05:04:51 PM  
2 votes:
I'm guessing Bangkok

and imagine a sobbing underage ladyboy is somehow involved.
2014-01-24 04:54:59 PM  
2 votes:
Based on his "family values" positions he's more than likely been on a meth fueled rent boy binge, but it's just as likely rehab.
2014-01-24 04:54:21 PM  
2 votes:
Oilcan Harry's Boatyard and Bathhouse?
2014-01-24 04:53:27 PM  
2 votes:
I still have $5 out on "evading federal fraud charges"
2014-01-24 04:49:16 PM  
2 votes:

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.


Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.
2014-01-24 04:38:21 PM  
2 votes:
I dunno, if something happens to Ross Perot, this guy becomes President?
2014-01-24 04:25:55 PM  
2 votes:
The derp dessert?

cinetropolis.net
2014-01-24 04:23:33 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com


Oh wait....I read that as "WHO AM I?"
2014-01-25 02:50:58 AM  
1 vote:
It was the middle one....
www.boxcarmarketing.com
2014-01-25 01:27:58 AM  
1 vote:

Bucky Katt: He's here:


[i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]


I looked at that and thought, the tilt is 90 degrees off. I was assuming it was Uranus.
2014-01-25 12:20:08 AM  
1 vote:
My guess: he'll be found running through a Walmart in Omaha wearing a bathrobe and a hockey mask, blitzed out of his mind on bathsalts and ecstasy, firing an AR wildly into the air while screaming "I am the Lizard King, death to Obama, and his army of flying poodles".
2014-01-24 10:11:09 PM  
1 vote:

tlchwi02: how long is an involuntary hold in texas?


I got the Sheriff to take my ex in for a 72 hour psych hold after she called threatening to kill herself if I didn't come back.

Important lesson: no couples therapy will overcome sending someone to the psych ward.
2014-01-24 09:33:10 PM  
1 vote:

theorellior: Oilcan Harry's Boatyard and Bathhouse?


Now, *there's* a name I haven't heard in a looooooong time!
2014-01-24 09:30:45 PM  
1 vote:

mrshowrules: The derp dessert?


Tasty!
2014-01-24 09:13:13 PM  
1 vote:
My money is on a Turkish prison.
2014-01-24 08:26:11 PM  
1 vote:
My guess is that he has been busy working a second job. We've all heard how tragically difficult it is to scrape by on the tiny pittance that our dedicated public servants in Washington make. Being the boot-strappy guy that he is, he didn't want to have to rely on government handouts to get by like a worthless Obama voter, so he got a second job to help pay the bills. Probably something in retail or manual labor.

If that's not the case, then he's probably been volunteering his time to help the less fortunate. The fact that he has dedicated his life to laboring tirelessly and selflessly in DC to represent the oppressed masses back home, with little regard for his own well-being, clearly shows his generous and giving nature, so it only makes sense.
2014-01-24 08:15:24 PM  
1 vote:
I was hoping he would just stay gone.
2014-01-24 07:15:57 PM  
1 vote:

Stoj: I said that to my boss once - I was calling from jail.

/they took my shoe laces


Did they think you were going to hang yourself over littering?
2014-01-24 06:08:19 PM  
1 vote:
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.
2014-01-24 05:57:50 PM  
1 vote:
Ever notice you never see Stockman or Bieber in the same room?
2014-01-24 05:52:22 PM  
1 vote:
Why is his Twitter handle "StockmanSenate" if he's in the House?
2014-01-24 05:48:21 PM  
1 vote:
He was discovered going into the same tanning salon frequented by John Bohner.

What came out...

Cannot be explained...

file.walagata.com
2014-01-24 05:46:00 PM  
1 vote:

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi


I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?
2014-01-24 05:42:26 PM  
1 vote:
Hawaii, looking for the REAL birf cerfikat?
2014-01-24 05:42:19 PM  
1 vote:
No matter what the actual purpose of his trip/absence, I'm going to go with "spiritual retreat", "Christian men's retreat" or some variant thereof.

It's vague, doesn't admit anything, and is easily swallowed by the base.
2014-01-24 05:41:46 PM  
1 vote:

Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!


mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.


In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.
2014-01-24 05:36:51 PM  
1 vote:
www.mindhuestudio.com
2014-01-24 05:34:26 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe this is just a Joaquin Phoenix level failure at trying to do something different to drum up interest in his campaign.
2014-01-24 05:33:49 PM  
1 vote:
Hiking the Appalachian Trail with his soul mate Mark Sanford.
2014-01-24 05:30:15 PM  
1 vote:
He's in Benghazi.

On a fact finding mission with the navy seals.

To find the real real real real super duper real truth that no one has dared to report except virulent right wing hate groups up until this point

shiats about to get real people.  Fatbango Hessian Eggsbennedictarnoldo is goin down
2014-01-24 05:24:47 PM  
1 vote:

fusillade762: Saiga410: He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.

You're thinking of Harry Dean Stanton.


Right you are, I get them confused for some god awful reason.  Maybe he has been helping coach the Jazz.
2014-01-24 05:21:31 PM  
1 vote:
On a horse!
*moo*
Cow.
2014-01-24 05:20:29 PM  
1 vote:

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


i.imgur.com

There "tasteless" and then there is "kicking the rung of civilization down a notch tasteless." Congratulations. Even I'm offended by that and I'm an asshole.
2014-01-24 05:17:58 PM  
1 vote:
Playing basketball with Dennis Rodman in Best Korea?
2014-01-24 05:17:47 PM  
1 vote:
I said that to my boss once - I was calling from jail.

/they took my shoe laces
2014-01-24 05:17:39 PM  
1 vote:

qorkfiend: No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?


He stopped showing up for votes in the last month or so, which makes a degree of sense since he's
challenging John Cornyn for his Senate seat... except he's not campaigning either. He's gone to one campaign event in Texas and showed up in Cairo, Egypt to criticize Obama. Other than that, he's been nowhere to be found and his campaign is going even more off the rails somehow (following his doge meme advertising he photoshopped Cornyn's head on Chris Christie so he could have a picture of Cornyn hugging Obama.)
2014-01-24 05:16:37 PM  
1 vote:

Saiga410: He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.


You're thinking of Harry Dean Stanton.
2014-01-24 05:14:32 PM  
1 vote:
Staff trying to flush him out?

/whatever he says, i'm not buying it without independent confirmation
2014-01-24 05:14:12 PM  
1 vote:
"Where am I?"

no1curr

// no, really - stay there
// or jump up your own ass and die, either way
2014-01-24 05:13:49 PM  
1 vote:
He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.
2014-01-24 05:11:33 PM  
1 vote:
how long is an involuntary hold in texas?
2014-01-24 05:09:13 PM  
1 vote:
Voila! Finally getting that messy campaign headquarters cleaned up. He didn't want anyone to think he was a messy housekeeper.
2014-01-24 05:04:50 PM  
1 vote:
No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?
2014-01-24 05:03:11 PM  
1 vote:
why does this question feel like the first scene in moonraker?

/ominous music
2014-01-24 05:02:31 PM  
1 vote:
Man, the circuit parties at Fire Island are getting out of hand.
2014-01-24 05:01:31 PM  
1 vote:
Came here to say bathroom stall, but I see everyone had a similar idea.
2014-01-24 05:00:13 PM  
1 vote:
I'm guessing killing rhino's or elephants.
2014-01-24 04:54:31 PM  
1 vote:
Baker Acted and under observation?
2014-01-24 04:54:14 PM  
1 vote:

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


You forgot two ask for a window or aisle seat.
2014-01-24 04:21:02 PM  
1 vote:
New Zanzibar?

wait.....I mean

Pepsi presents "New Zanzibar"?
 
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