Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Hill)   Where am I? Find out Monday - Rep. Steve Stockman (@StockmanSenate) -- Predictions to the right   (thehill.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

2089 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jan 2014 at 4:49 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-01-24 05:28:11 PM  
I'm guessing it involved a megachurch pastor, an industrial sized vat of lube, Viagra, and lots of meth.
 
2014-01-24 05:28:41 PM  
He was interviewing for the Browns head coaching position, only to be beat out by Mike Pettine.
 
2014-01-24 05:30:15 PM  
He's in Benghazi.

On a fact finding mission with the navy seals.

To find the real real real real super duper real truth that no one has dared to report except virulent right wing hate groups up until this point

shiats about to get real people.  Fatbango Hessian Eggsbennedictarnoldo is goin down
 
2014-01-24 05:33:17 PM  
Somalia, getting ideas for future red state legislation.
 
2014-01-24 05:33:49 PM  
Hiking the Appalachian Trail with his soul mate Mark Sanford.
 
2014-01-24 05:34:02 PM  
*Ralph*

Maybe he drove to the moon!

*/Ralph*
 
2014-01-24 05:34:26 PM  
Maybe this is just a Joaquin Phoenix level failure at trying to do something different to drum up interest in his campaign.
 
2014-01-24 05:36:51 PM  
www.mindhuestudio.com
 
2014-01-24 05:41:46 PM  

Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!


mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.


In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.
 
2014-01-24 05:42:19 PM  
No matter what the actual purpose of his trip/absence, I'm going to go with "spiritual retreat", "Christian men's retreat" or some variant thereof.

It's vague, doesn't admit anything, and is easily swallowed by the base.
 
2014-01-24 05:42:26 PM  
Hawaii, looking for the REAL birf cerfikat?
 
2014-01-24 05:45:12 PM  

The Name: Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.


Yep. He'll spout some bullshiat about one of those, and then the base will declare that any problems with his campaign finances are just because Fartbongo is trying to cover up TEH TRUTH
 
2014-01-24 05:46:00 PM  

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi


I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?
 
2014-01-24 05:48:21 PM  
He was discovered going into the same tanning salon frequented by John Bohner.

What came out...

Cannot be explained...

file.walagata.com
 
2014-01-24 05:52:22 PM  
Why is his Twitter handle "StockmanSenate" if he's in the House?
 
2014-01-24 05:54:34 PM  

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


She can have that any time she wants.  She knows how to get in touch with me.
 
2014-01-24 05:56:00 PM  

Frozboz: Why is his Twitter handle "StockmanSenate" if he's in the House?


he's running for senate
 
2014-01-24 05:57:50 PM  
Ever notice you never see Stockman or Bieber in the same room?
 
2014-01-24 05:57:53 PM  
OK, enough joking, in all seriousness, I'm going with rehab.
 
2014-01-24 05:58:52 PM  
Has anyone checked the bathroom?  He may be passed out in the tub with the water running.
 
2014-01-24 05:59:27 PM  
100% pure political posturing. Standing strong against Obamacare or some shiat.

/As cover for his very real substance abuse problem.
 
2014-01-24 05:59:27 PM  
He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.
 
2014-01-24 06:08:19 PM  
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.
 
2014-01-24 06:11:14 PM  

geek_mars: I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.


But that would require a teabagger to show actual physical courage and willingness to risk more than a slight inconvenience for their derp.
 
2014-01-24 06:12:53 PM  
mrwgifs.com
 
2014-01-24 06:17:04 PM  
i90.photobucket.com

Wrong Stockman? Stockdale? Where Am I? Who Am I?
 
2014-01-24 06:20:06 PM  
Ta-da! He got more funding! Being a Kochsucker has its benefits.
 
2014-01-24 06:28:29 PM  
Bareefer Obonghit:

Where is this?

/Asking for a friend ( I call my penis friend).
 
2014-01-24 06:33:03 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: geek_mars: I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.

But that would require a teabagger to show actual physical courage and willingness to risk more than a slight inconvenience for their derp.


That's why I said "claim to have been". I mean, seriously, risk a slight inconvenience? That's what interns are for.
 
2014-01-24 06:39:20 PM  
I predict that I don't give a shiat
 
2014-01-24 06:42:10 PM  

CourtroomWolf: He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.


For giving us all that mental image....you are a terrible person, you should feel bad, and you need to go sit down and think about what you've done.
 
2014-01-24 06:43:25 PM  

CourtroomWolf: He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.


I hear that their meeting is being held at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary.
 
2014-01-24 06:49:17 PM  
Who cares as long as he is not voting on things. I would tell him to stay where he is and not bother the American people ever again.
 
2014-01-24 06:54:18 PM  
Since he's a conservative and part of the part of personal responsibility he's going to pay back a prorated portion of the money he's earned since his last vote plus interest, right?
 
2014-01-24 06:54:37 PM  
Check the penis. If it's not there anymore, that's a clue.
 
2014-01-24 06:58:02 PM  
So it was a HUGE deal when Wisconsin state reps left the state for a couple days, but this guy gets a pass for how many weeks now?
 
2014-01-24 06:59:23 PM  
What I want to know is what we as a United Humanity can do to KEEP his lost?
 
2014-01-24 07:12:11 PM  
Climbing to the roof of an apartment building opposite the White House with a rifle...
 
2014-01-24 07:15:57 PM  

Stoj: I said that to my boss once - I was calling from jail.

/they took my shoe laces


Did they think you were going to hang yourself over littering?
 
2014-01-24 07:20:22 PM  

DarwiOdrade: [mrwgifs.com image 450x306]


His constituents who elected him to actually be present and vote might should.
 
2014-01-24 07:27:06 PM  

jayhawk88: [cf.badassdigest.com image 587x295]


Hey, did they ever make that movie?
 
2014-01-24 07:27:17 PM  
This is the guy that wants to arm fetuses, so literally nothing is off the table.

Im betting he's been arming families in Tijuana to "help" in the drug war.
 
2014-01-24 07:53:31 PM  
If it's the Benghazi thing, it'll probably end up as a useful campaign stunt. However, the fact that there are enough morons out there to make it worthwhile as a campaign stunt is quite discouraging.
 
2014-01-24 08:01:10 PM  
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-01-24 08:15:24 PM  
I was hoping he would just stay gone.
 
2014-01-24 08:16:09 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: DarwiOdrade: [mrwgifs.com image 450x306]

His constituents who elected him to actually be present and vote might should.


Uh, you seem to be under a misapprehension.  Republicans vote for representatives to obstruct and shut down government whenever possible.  They aren't expected to show up for work, they're just supposed to make the occasional speech about how much government sucks and hate on Democrats.
 
2014-01-24 08:18:42 PM  
Maybe he was that chick that jumped off the hospital room in LA.  Would make sense.  Was there to get his sex changed and they told him they couldn't find his penis.
 
2014-01-24 08:19:43 PM  

Hollie Maea: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi

I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?


How much is this costing tax payers?
 
2014-01-24 08:23:02 PM  
Jonestown.
 
2014-01-24 08:26:11 PM  
My guess is that he has been busy working a second job. We've all heard how tragically difficult it is to scrape by on the tiny pittance that our dedicated public servants in Washington make. Being the boot-strappy guy that he is, he didn't want to have to rely on government handouts to get by like a worthless Obama voter, so he got a second job to help pay the bills. Probably something in retail or manual labor.

If that's not the case, then he's probably been volunteering his time to help the less fortunate. The fact that he has dedicated his life to laboring tirelessly and selflessly in DC to represent the oppressed masses back home, with little regard for his own well-being, clearly shows his generous and giving nature, so it only makes sense.
 
Displayed 50 of 123 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report