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(The Hill)   Where am I? Find out Monday - Rep. Steve Stockman (@StockmanSenate) -- Predictions to the right   (thehill.com) divider line 123
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2002 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jan 2014 at 4:49 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-24 04:09:36 PM
Returning with the Riders of Rohan to aid Gondor against Obama?
 
2014-01-24 04:17:37 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-24 04:17:46 PM
I don't know, but I bet it's going to involve a Guatemalan rent boy, a glory hole, and a Gene Simmons mask.
 
2014-01-24 04:20:09 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-01-24 04:21:02 PM
New Zanzibar?

wait.....I mean

Pepsi presents "New Zanzibar"?
 
2014-01-24 04:23:33 PM
i.imgur.com


Oh wait....I read that as "WHO AM I?"
 
2014-01-24 04:25:07 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-24 04:25:55 PM
The derp dessert?

cinetropolis.net
 
2014-01-24 04:34:38 PM
He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!
 
2014-01-24 04:36:08 PM
www.simpsoncrazy.com
 
2014-01-24 04:38:21 PM
I dunno, if something happens to Ross Perot, this guy becomes President?
 
2014-01-24 04:42:07 PM

Diogenes: [www.simpsoncrazy.com image 320x240]


OK I may have just done that thing where I had to fake a coughing fit at work because I started laughing
 
2014-01-24 04:44:51 PM
He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.
 
2014-01-24 04:49:16 PM

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.


Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.
 
2014-01-24 04:51:38 PM
Appalachian Trail?
 
2014-01-24 04:53:27 PM
I still have $5 out on "evading federal fraud charges"
 
2014-01-24 04:54:01 PM
In subby's mom.  MSHA had to send in three mine rescue teams into her cavernous vagina to get him out.  Lives were lost, canaries died, but the good Representative was brought out safely.

Subby, please have your mom install guard rails around her vagina, or require that all men having intercourse with her wear a full body harness with a lanyard that's secured to a safe tie-off point.

Note:
Stockman is a sack of crap, just naming subby's mom as a convenient target.
 
2014-01-24 04:54:14 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


You forgot two ask for a window or aisle seat.
 
2014-01-24 04:54:21 PM
Oilcan Harry's Boatyard and Bathhouse?
 
2014-01-24 04:54:31 PM
Baker Acted and under observation?
 
2014-01-24 04:54:59 PM
Based on his "family values" positions he's more than likely been on a meth fueled rent boy binge, but it's just as likely rehab.
 
2014-01-24 04:58:28 PM
in the bathroom of a rest stop balls deep in "family values."
 
2014-01-24 05:00:13 PM
I'm guessing killing rhino's or elephants.
 
2014-01-24 05:00:52 PM
Visiting urban areas and clubbing the poor like baby seals.
 
2014-01-24 05:01:31 PM
Came here to say bathroom stall, but I see everyone had a similar idea.
 
2014-01-24 05:01:39 PM
www.metrosea.com

Nimoy knows.
 
2014-01-24 05:02:31 PM
Man, the circuit parties at Fire Island are getting out of hand.
 
2014-01-24 05:03:11 PM
why does this question feel like the first scene in moonraker?

/ominous music
 
2014-01-24 05:04:50 PM
No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?
 
2014-01-24 05:04:51 PM
I'm guessing Bangkok

and imagine a sobbing underage ladyboy is somehow involved.
 
2014-01-24 05:05:12 PM
I don't know where he is, but I can guarantee you he will blame Obama and a certain segment of the population will nod knowingly as he does.
 
2014-01-24 05:05:22 PM
cf.badassdigest.com
 
2014-01-24 05:08:22 PM

qorkfiend: No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?


He's been avoiding his job duties due to lots and lots of shiat going on about his campaign finances.  This is just another layer of distraction to avoid having to explain why money is turning up missing.
 
2014-01-24 05:09:12 PM
Do we care?

Are we caring now?
 
2014-01-24 05:09:13 PM
Voila! Finally getting that messy campaign headquarters cleaned up. He didn't want anyone to think he was a messy housekeeper.
 
2014-01-24 05:11:18 PM
Prepare to meet "Stephanie" Stockman on Monday.
 
2014-01-24 05:11:33 PM
how long is an involuntary hold in texas?
 
2014-01-24 05:13:49 PM
He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.
 
2014-01-24 05:14:12 PM
"Where am I?"

no1curr

// no, really - stay there
// or jump up your own ass and die, either way
 
2014-01-24 05:14:32 PM
Staff trying to flush him out?

/whatever he says, i'm not buying it without independent confirmation
 
2014-01-24 05:15:35 PM
From the clues in the text, he's on a 3 day bender.
 
2014-01-24 05:16:37 PM

Saiga410: He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.


You're thinking of Harry Dean Stanton.
 
2014-01-24 05:17:39 PM

qorkfiend: No, seriously. WTF is he talking about?


He stopped showing up for votes in the last month or so, which makes a degree of sense since he's
challenging John Cornyn for his Senate seat... except he's not campaigning either. He's gone to one campaign event in Texas and showed up in Cairo, Egypt to criticize Obama. Other than that, he's been nowhere to be found and his campaign is going even more off the rails somehow (following his doge meme advertising he photoshopped Cornyn's head on Chris Christie so he could have a picture of Cornyn hugging Obama.)
 
2014-01-24 05:17:47 PM
I said that to my boss once - I was calling from jail.

/they took my shoe laces
 
2014-01-24 05:17:58 PM
Playing basketball with Dennis Rodman in Best Korea?
 
2014-01-24 05:20:29 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


i.imgur.com

There "tasteless" and then there is "kicking the rung of civilization down a notch tasteless." Congratulations. Even I'm offended by that and I'm an asshole.
 
2014-01-24 05:21:31 PM
On a horse!
*moo*
Cow.
 
2014-01-24 05:24:47 PM

fusillade762: Saiga410: He has been helping a scientist jump from body to body through time.... hoping that the next leap will be the leap home.

You're thinking of Harry Dean Stanton.


Right you are, I get them confused for some god awful reason.  Maybe he has been helping coach the Jazz.
 
2014-01-24 05:25:00 PM
Airport bathroom?
 
2014-01-24 05:25:06 PM
It turns out Buddhists are full of shiat and he was able to achieve enlightenment at a Stuckey's in Anahuac without any meditating.
 
2014-01-24 05:28:11 PM
I'm guessing it involved a megachurch pastor, an industrial sized vat of lube, Viagra, and lots of meth.
 
2014-01-24 05:28:41 PM
He was interviewing for the Browns head coaching position, only to be beat out by Mike Pettine.
 
2014-01-24 05:30:15 PM
He's in Benghazi.

On a fact finding mission with the navy seals.

To find the real real real real super duper real truth that no one has dared to report except virulent right wing hate groups up until this point

shiats about to get real people.  Fatbango Hessian Eggsbennedictarnoldo is goin down
 
2014-01-24 05:33:17 PM
Somalia, getting ideas for future red state legislation.
 
2014-01-24 05:33:49 PM
Hiking the Appalachian Trail with his soul mate Mark Sanford.
 
2014-01-24 05:34:02 PM
*Ralph*

Maybe he drove to the moon!

*/Ralph*
 
2014-01-24 05:34:26 PM
Maybe this is just a Joaquin Phoenix level failure at trying to do something different to drum up interest in his campaign.
 
2014-01-24 05:36:51 PM
www.mindhuestudio.com
 
2014-01-24 05:41:46 PM

Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!


mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.


In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.
 
2014-01-24 05:42:19 PM
No matter what the actual purpose of his trip/absence, I'm going to go with "spiritual retreat", "Christian men's retreat" or some variant thereof.

It's vague, doesn't admit anything, and is easily swallowed by the base.
 
2014-01-24 05:42:26 PM
Hawaii, looking for the REAL birf cerfikat?
 
2014-01-24 05:45:12 PM

The Name: Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.


Yep. He'll spout some bullshiat about one of those, and then the base will declare that any problems with his campaign finances are just because Fartbongo is trying to cover up TEH TRUTH
 
2014-01-24 05:46:00 PM

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi


I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?
 
2014-01-24 05:48:21 PM
He was discovered going into the same tanning salon frequented by John Bohner.

What came out...

Cannot be explained...

file.walagata.com
 
2014-01-24 05:52:22 PM
Why is his Twitter handle "StockmanSenate" if he's in the House?
 
2014-01-24 05:54:34 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

Well, looks like she's in for another stripping & fingering.


She can have that any time she wants.  She knows how to get in touch with me.
 
2014-01-24 05:56:00 PM

Frozboz: Why is his Twitter handle "StockmanSenate" if he's in the House?


he's running for senate
 
2014-01-24 05:57:50 PM
Ever notice you never see Stockman or Bieber in the same room?
 
2014-01-24 05:57:53 PM
OK, enough joking, in all seriousness, I'm going with rehab.
 
2014-01-24 05:58:52 PM
Has anyone checked the bathroom?  He may be passed out in the tub with the water running.
 
2014-01-24 05:59:27 PM
100% pure political posturing. Standing strong against Obamacare or some shiat.

/As cover for his very real substance abuse problem.
 
2014-01-24 05:59:27 PM
He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.
 
2014-01-24 06:08:19 PM
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.
 
2014-01-24 06:11:14 PM

geek_mars: I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.


But that would require a teabagger to show actual physical courage and willingness to risk more than a slight inconvenience for their derp.
 
2014-01-24 06:12:53 PM
mrwgifs.com
 
2014-01-24 06:17:04 PM
i90.photobucket.com

Wrong Stockman? Stockdale? Where Am I? Who Am I?
 
2014-01-24 06:20:06 PM
Ta-da! He got more funding! Being a Kochsucker has its benefits.
 
2014-01-24 06:28:29 PM

Bareefer Obonghit:


Where is this?

/Asking for a friend ( I call my penis friend).
 
2014-01-24 06:33:03 PM

Doktor_Zhivago: geek_mars: I'm going to go out on a limb and say he'll claim to have been imbedded with Syrian rebels in an attempt to determine if Obama has been illegally providing unauthorized weapons/support/lollipops/whatever and has now returned with irrefutable proof that will shock the world.

But that would require a teabagger to show actual physical courage and willingness to risk more than a slight inconvenience for their derp.


That's why I said "claim to have been". I mean, seriously, risk a slight inconvenience? That's what interns are for.
 
2014-01-24 06:39:20 PM
I predict that I don't give a shiat
 
2014-01-24 06:42:10 PM

CourtroomWolf: He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.


For giving us all that mental image....you are a terrible person, you should feel bad, and you need to go sit down and think about what you've done.
 
2014-01-24 06:43:25 PM

CourtroomWolf: He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.


I hear that their meeting is being held at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary.
 
2014-01-24 06:49:17 PM
Who cares as long as he is not voting on things. I would tell him to stay where he is and not bother the American people ever again.
 
2014-01-24 06:54:18 PM
Since he's a conservative and part of the part of personal responsibility he's going to pay back a prorated portion of the money he's earned since his last vote plus interest, right?
 
2014-01-24 06:54:37 PM
Check the penis. If it's not there anymore, that's a clue.
 
2014-01-24 06:58:02 PM
So it was a HUGE deal when Wisconsin state reps left the state for a couple days, but this guy gets a pass for how many weeks now?
 
2014-01-24 06:59:23 PM
What I want to know is what we as a United Humanity can do to KEEP his lost?
 
2014-01-24 07:12:11 PM
Climbing to the roof of an apartment building opposite the White House with a rifle...
 
2014-01-24 07:15:57 PM

Stoj: I said that to my boss once - I was calling from jail.

/they took my shoe laces


Did they think you were going to hang yourself over littering?
 
2014-01-24 07:20:22 PM

DarwiOdrade: [mrwgifs.com image 450x306]


His constituents who elected him to actually be present and vote might should.
 
2014-01-24 07:27:06 PM

jayhawk88: [cf.badassdigest.com image 587x295]


Hey, did they ever make that movie?
 
2014-01-24 07:27:17 PM
This is the guy that wants to arm fetuses, so literally nothing is off the table.

Im betting he's been arming families in Tijuana to "help" in the drug war.
 
2014-01-24 07:53:31 PM
If it's the Benghazi thing, it'll probably end up as a useful campaign stunt. However, the fact that there are enough morons out there to make it worthwhile as a campaign stunt is quite discouraging.
 
2014-01-24 08:01:10 PM
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-01-24 08:15:24 PM
I was hoping he would just stay gone.
 
2014-01-24 08:16:09 PM

SN1987a goes boom: DarwiOdrade: [mrwgifs.com image 450x306]

His constituents who elected him to actually be present and vote might should.


Uh, you seem to be under a misapprehension.  Republicans vote for representatives to obstruct and shut down government whenever possible.  They aren't expected to show up for work, they're just supposed to make the occasional speech about how much government sucks and hate on Democrats.
 
2014-01-24 08:18:42 PM
Maybe he was that chick that jumped off the hospital room in LA.  Would make sense.  Was there to get his sex changed and they told him they couldn't find his penis.
 
2014-01-24 08:19:43 PM

Hollie Maea: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi

I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?


How much is this costing tax payers?
 
2014-01-24 08:23:02 PM
Jonestown.
 
2014-01-24 08:26:11 PM
My guess is that he has been busy working a second job. We've all heard how tragically difficult it is to scrape by on the tiny pittance that our dedicated public servants in Washington make. Being the boot-strappy guy that he is, he didn't want to have to rely on government handouts to get by like a worthless Obama voter, so he got a second job to help pay the bills. Probably something in retail or manual labor.

If that's not the case, then he's probably been volunteering his time to help the less fortunate. The fact that he has dedicated his life to laboring tirelessly and selflessly in DC to represent the oppressed masses back home, with little regard for his own well-being, clearly shows his generous and giving nature, so it only makes sense.
 
2014-01-24 08:28:42 PM

Bigdogdaddy: [0-media-cdn.foolz.us image 500x368]


THIS
 
2014-01-24 09:13:13 PM
My money is on a Turkish prison.
 
2014-01-24 09:23:32 PM
www.gameinformer.com

STEVE IF YOU WOULD JUST LET ME RUN THINGS HERE I'M A DOCTOR
 
2014-01-24 09:27:40 PM

DigitalCoffee: CourtroomWolf: He bought the domain name www.lemonparty.org, and is working in collaboration with Joe Arpaio and Mike Huckabee to design the front page.

I hear that their meeting is being held at Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary.


www.alliednetservices.com

RIP Big Al
 
2014-01-24 09:30:45 PM

mrshowrules: The derp dessert?


Tasty!
 
2014-01-24 09:33:10 PM

theorellior: Oilcan Harry's Boatyard and Bathhouse?


Now, *there's* a name I haven't heard in a looooooong time!
 
2014-01-24 09:41:25 PM
Vader invited him for dinner at the White Castle of Fear. IT WAS DELICIOUS.

/okay, okay, I promise, I'm putting away the old WCW Tapes now, I swear to Christ...
 
2014-01-24 10:00:38 PM

The Name: Diogenes: He found Obama's Kenyan birth certificate!

mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi and he's cracked the whole thing open.  Lara Logan is interviewing him right now.

In all seriousness, it's probably one of these.


He could be on a week-long crack binge with Rob Ford.

But yes, probably Benghazi.

Hopefully he brought Darrell Issa with him and they've arranged a meeting with Ansar al-Sharia. In a dark alley.
 
2014-01-24 10:11:09 PM

tlchwi02: how long is an involuntary hold in texas?


I got the Sheriff to take my ex in for a 72 hour psych hold after she called threatening to kill herself if I didn't come back.

Important lesson: no couples therapy will overcome sending someone to the psych ward.
 
2014-01-24 10:11:27 PM

theteacher: Hollie Maea: mrshowrules: He's gone to Benghazi

I don't know if you meant that as a joke, but that is almost certainly the correct answer, considering that

1. He's obviously trying to build hype about his whereabouts, so a big media stunt is inevitable
2. He was last seen in Egypt
3. That's just the type of retarded horse shiat he would pull.

I'll be shocked if that's not where he went.  He probably has a couple of the other usual suspects with him.  Anyone seen Sheriff Joe lately?

How much is this costing tax payers?


You can't put a price on grandstanding about Benghazi.
 
x23
2014-01-24 10:21:01 PM

Hickory-smoked: jayhawk88: [cf.badassdigest.com image 587x295]

Hey, did they ever make that movie?



yes. it came out 2 years ago. it is on Netflix Streaming.

http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Safety-Not-Guaranteed/70227946
 
2014-01-24 10:36:27 PM
earnthis.net

It worked this time
 
2014-01-25 12:20:08 AM
My guess: he'll be found running through a Walmart in Omaha wearing a bathrobe and a hockey mask, blitzed out of his mind on bathsalts and ecstasy, firing an AR wildly into the air while screaming "I am the Lizard King, death to Obama, and his army of flying poodles".
 
2014-01-25 12:50:21 AM
He's under there somewhere:

www.rollanet.org
 
2014-01-25 01:21:25 AM
He's here:


i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2014-01-25 01:27:58 AM

Bucky Katt: He's here:


[i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]


I looked at that and thought, the tilt is 90 degrees off. I was assuming it was Uranus.
 
2014-01-25 02:50:58 AM
It was the middle one....
www.boxcarmarketing.com
 
2014-01-25 04:14:58 AM
Has anybody checked under the end zone at AT&T Stadium?
 
2014-01-25 04:33:58 AM
The tweet was supposed to read

"Where am I? Find out by Monday."


"Please. Must be Monday at latest."

"Will run out of supplies by then."

"oh god I think I hear someone approac"
 
2014-01-25 10:01:13 AM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: The tweet was supposed to read

"Where am I? Find out by Monday."


"Please. Must be Monday at latest."

"Will run out of supplies by then."

"oh god I think I hear someone approac"


Why did I immediately think of Stockman being kidnapped by Trevor Philips?
 
2014-01-25 10:49:57 AM

shastacola: Prepare to meet "Stephanie" Stockman on Monday.


This
 
2014-01-25 11:55:28 AM

enry: shastacola: Prepare to meet "Stephanie" Stockman on Monday.

This


Thank you for the totalfark gift.
 
2014-01-25 06:00:54 PM
RIP John Stockton.
 
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