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(Elkhart Truth)   Liner notes from a 90s hip hop album is no way to go through life, son. (6th name down)   (elkharttruth.com) divider line 140
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12643 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2014 at 6:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-23 08:43:28 PM  
I'll assume the maternity ward staff just went ahead and sent a copy of the files to CPS for future reference.
 
2014-01-24 06:27:46 AM  
sharedhope.files.wordpress.com

La'Pimp
 
2014-01-24 06:29:45 AM  
That's got to be some kind of joke, please be some kind of joke.

What chance does that kid have in life if it's true?
 
2014-01-24 06:30:30 AM  
 ... and here I thought naming your kid Pepsi was bad...
 
2014-01-24 06:35:32 AM  
Don't be culturally insensitive, submitter.
 
2014-01-24 06:35:40 AM  
You'd be right to not give that kid a job. ANyone with parents so stupid is likely brain-dead.

/Gotta be a joke
 
2014-01-24 06:36:24 AM  
How to ensure your child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job..
 
2014-01-24 06:37:20 AM  
My aunt was an OB-GUN nurse and the names people gave their kids were sad and hilarious.

One woman, out of it from drugs, saw my aunt holding the placenta and asked " what is that?". My aunt said "that's the placenta". The woman said " that's a pretty name. I think I'll call her Placenta."

Not sure if that name stuck or not but I really hope not.
 
2014-01-24 06:38:47 AM  
Damn Autocorrect. OB-GYN nurse. Not what it put there!

TGIF.
 
mhd
2014-01-24 06:44:32 AM  
Anias?

/son of Merlin. Home birth. Oh my.
 
2014-01-24 06:49:23 AM  
I feel sorry for what's going to happen to this kid out on the playground. If he turns out scrawny, they're gonna call him LaSoulja Major LaWimp. If he's fat, Major LaBlimp. If he's short, Major LaShrimp. Crippled? Major LaGimp. Worst of all, if he turns out to have none of those problems, they'll call him by his actual name. Also they'll bury him on that very same playground after he's killed at age 10. R.I.P. LaSoulja, 2014-2024, survived by one son, LaGangsta 'Lil Mack' Big Dawg "Da Boss" C-Killa [Too Real] LaDollaz Airport Bieber-Burks.
 
2014-01-24 06:50:47 AM  

Descartes: [sharedhope.files.wordpress.com image 400x600]

La'Pimp


Brutha be stylin'! Hell yeah!
 
GBB
2014-01-24 06:52:35 AM  
La'Soulja Major La'Pimp Burks, CEO....
 
2014-01-24 06:55:36 AM  
He's gonna be a hit with the ladies, that's fo' sho'.

I can see it now. He goes to pick up young Sallie Anne for their date. She's watching eagerly out the front window
when she sees his car pull up, rims a-spinnin', and gushes, "Oh Daddy! LaPimp is here to take me to the dance!"
 
GBB
2014-01-24 06:56:21 AM  
Tamekia Burks, Elkhart, son (La'Soulja Major La'Pimp Burks, 6 lbs. 8 oz.), 3:20 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2014.


There's no "and" in there.

/just wanted to point that out
//no reason
///NTTAWWT
 
2014-01-24 07:00:05 AM  
Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.
 
2014-01-24 07:01:49 AM  
I can't wait for his sister La'Tongua Shaneequa La'Ho Burks to show up.
 
2014-01-24 07:02:30 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.


[welcome to fark.jpg]
 
GBB
2014-01-24 07:02:35 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.


Can't be racist when we don't know the race.
Or, are you assuming that he's of a particular race because of his name?
Wouldn't that make you the racist?
Cause the rest of us are making fun of a name for name's sake.
 
2014-01-24 07:05:34 AM  
Could be worse.

i42.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-24 07:08:32 AM  
He's probably named after a possible father, La'Three Strikes Convict.
 
2014-01-24 07:10:51 AM  
Its not like they will call him that, Im sure he has a nickname already
 
2014-01-24 07:11:03 AM  

GBB: Can't be racist when we don't know the race.


Um,
Tamekia Datgoodshiat Burks

Not 100% sure but it's probably a good bet that's her
 
2014-01-24 07:11:05 AM  

KeatingFive: You'd be right to not give that kid a job. ANyone with parents  a parent so stupid is likely brain-dead.

/Gotta be a joke


Maybe Tamekia will be raising this one solo.
 
2014-01-24 07:11:10 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.


You're the REAL racist for noticing racism.

/Also, you're an idiot and a liar.
 
2014-01-24 07:12:35 AM  

corgimommy: My aunt was an OB-GUN nurse and the names people gave their kids were sad and hilarious.

One woman, out of it from drugs, saw my aunt holding the placenta and asked " what is that?". My aunt said "that's the placenta". The woman said " that's a pretty name. I think I'll call her Placenta."

Not sure if that name stuck or not but I really hope not.


I do believe your Aunt has passed off an urban legend as a personal anecdote.
 
2014-01-24 07:13:19 AM  
I work closely with my state's CPS and so I have lots of names that violate good sense and common conventions of the English language. I will say that this is by far the worst I have ever seen.
My sister is currently pregnant and daily I send her names of kids from my files as suggestions.
Yesterday's winner: Ohntezz.
 
2014-01-24 07:13:36 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.



Hey you forgot something
i1216.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-24 07:15:22 AM  

GBB: AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.

Can't be racist when we don't know the race.
Or, are you assuming that he's of a particular race because of his name?
Wouldn't that make you the racist?
Cause the rest of us are making fun of a name for name's sake.


Most likely Asian, trying to assimilate into the local society. They do that.
 
2014-01-24 07:23:25 AM  

GBB: AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. The racism is out of control in here. I bet the Beeb and Sherman thug thread will be more civilized than you all.

I'm out.

Can't be racist when we don't know the race.
Or, are you assuming that he's of a particular race because of his name?
Wouldn't that make you the racist?
Cause the rest of us are making fun of a name for name's sake.


0-media-cdn.foolz.us

"It's pronounced  'ahs-we-pay', old chap."
 
2014-01-24 07:28:14 AM  

corgimommy: My aunt was an OB-GUN nurse and the names people gave their kids were sad and hilarious.

One woman, out of it from drugs, saw my aunt holding the placenta and asked " what is that?". My aunt said "that's the placenta". The woman said " that's a pretty name. I think I'll call her Placenta."

Not sure if that name stuck or not but I really hope not.


That is hilarious. Sad, but hilarious.
 
2014-01-24 07:30:38 AM  

corgimommy: My aunt was an OB-GUN nurse and the names people gave their kids were sad and hilarious.

One woman, out of it from drugs, saw my aunt holding the placenta and asked " what is that?". My aunt said "that's the placenta". The woman said " that's a pretty name. I think I'll call her Placenta."

Not sure if that name stuck or not but I really hope not.


ps... I think you mean OB-GYN nurse? Or is this your aunt?

www.gunslot.com
 
2014-01-24 07:32:36 AM  

Lord_Dubu: corgimommy: My aunt was an OB-GUN nurse and the names people gave their kids were sad and hilarious.

One woman, out of it from drugs, saw my aunt holding the placenta and asked " what is that?". My aunt said "that's the placenta". The woman said " that's a pretty name. I think I'll call her Placenta."

Not sure if that name stuck or not but I really hope not.

I do believe your Aunt has passed off an urban legend as a personal anecdote.


Oranjello and Lemonjello wept.
 
2014-01-24 07:33:51 AM  
offmymeds:

"It's pronounced  'ahs-we-pay', old chap."

Brilliant.

Usually fall back on "It's pronounced 'Doo - Maa' you insensitive prick!"
 
2014-01-24 07:34:07 AM  
Had a high school buddy in Brooklyn in the 70's who was born in Japan, his name was Satoshi. We called him Satch. He had a younger brother in same school who was born in the US. Parents wanted to assimilate, so naturally they named him Elvis.

/CSB
 
2014-01-24 07:39:51 AM  

mhd: Anias?

/son of Merlin. Home birth. Oh my.


9lbs 15oz? Ow, my Anias
 
2014-01-24 07:40:46 AM  
They should have just named him Convict.
 
2014-01-24 07:46:03 AM  
Tabria Nolen and Ray Harris, Osceola, son (Ta'zeek Raychon Daking, 7 lbs. 12 oz.), 10:44 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 14, 2014.

This one isn't much better. I'm naming my kids Boy or Girl, in the name of simplicity.
 
2014-01-24 07:48:54 AM  

Fun Razor: mhd: Anias?

/son of Merlin. Home birth. Oh my.

9lbs 15oz? Ow, my Anias


If she'd taken it up the Anias, she wouldn't have had Anias.
 
2014-01-24 07:49:38 AM  
yes everyone should name their kids Justin and Rachel, or Heath and Britney, or whatever the current snowflake favorites are

everyone
 
2014-01-24 07:52:05 AM  

Ivandrago: I work closely with my state's CPS and so I have lots of names that violate good sense and common conventions of the English language. I will say that this is by far the worst I have ever seen.
My sister is currently pregnant and daily I send her names of kids from my files as suggestions.
Yesterday's winner: Ohntezz.


Lewis Black did a not years ago about stupid child names. Among them:

-Asshole (ah-shole-uh)
-shiathread (shi-thayed)
-Abcde (ab-si-day)

I pray to (deity) that it was all made up for a joke, because those kids would be farked. Can you imagine a teacher who would look at a class roster at those names?
 
2014-01-24 07:52:41 AM  
No love for "Ta'Zeek Raychon Daking"? (second on the list in TFA)
 
2014-01-24 08:10:10 AM  

Technoir: No love for "Ta'Zeek Raychon Daking"? (second on the list in TFA)


No, not really.
 
2014-01-24 08:11:34 AM  

deanis: Tabria Nolen and Ray Harris, Osceola, son (Ta'zeek Raychon Daking, 7 lbs. 12 oz.), 10:44 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 14, 2014.

This one isn't much better.


My son Software Engineer B. and I agree.
 
2014-01-24 08:12:25 AM  
When I think of La'Pimp I think this
ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com

/or would that be Le'Pimp?
 
2014-01-24 08:13:44 AM  
Parents should also consider how the child's name would be Spoonerised. The kid below Le Pimp is Farker Pox.
 
2014-01-24 08:19:00 AM  
Oh shiathead is actually a name. At least that's how the snowflake in my cousin's 2nd grade class spelled it. She made sure to ask the principal how to pronounce it prior to taking attendance on the first day of school. She also had an Abcde in her classroom a couple years afterwards with a Cash Monay.
 
2014-01-24 08:25:51 AM  

Kibbler: yes everyone should name their kids Justin and Rachel, or Heath and Britney, or whatever the current snowflake favorites are

everyone


Seems like you missed the point.
No one says all kids should have names like Bill or George, but a name like "La'Soulja" is setting your child up to fail. They didn't even give the kid a regular middle name that he could use instead. Not to mention the fact that "La'Pimp" glorifies a criminal profession. Would "De'Manslaughter" or "Tremurder" be acceptable to you? What about "La'Jennocyde" That's a lovely girls name.
You want to call your buddy a pimp because he scores with lots of chicks, that's one thing, but to codify it is something else.
I'm all for tolerance but this is ridiculous.
 
2014-01-24 08:27:55 AM  
Neydy and Jose had a kid named Anderson?
 
2014-01-24 08:29:25 AM  
The only thing worse than racial stereotyping is living up to stereotyping.

I hope he becomes an astrophysicist and changes his name to Pi Burks, which is about the only thing that could reasonably be derived from his first names, be socially acceptable, and be appropriate for his profession.

Assuming that's a male name, of course...
 
mhd
2014-01-24 08:30:02 AM  

polkadottie: She also had an Abcde in her classroom a couple years afterwards with a Cash Monay.


Oooh, French nobility...
 
2014-01-24 08:30:15 AM  

Kibbler: yes everyone should name their kids Justin and Rachel, or Heath and Britney, or whatever the current snowflake favorites are

everyone


I know it's a Friday, but can you put a little more effort into your false dichotomy.  This thread needs better trollbait than that.
 
2014-01-24 08:33:23 AM  

content9.flixster.com

 
2014-01-24 08:33:41 AM  
Tak'wes@sha La'va'de'natra'che Smith approves

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-01-24 08:34:42 AM  
How many racists we have in here today?
 
2014-01-24 08:34:49 AM  
What the hell is wrong with these parents?

It is a child, not a pet.
 
2014-01-24 08:41:12 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?


Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.
 
2014-01-24 08:41:42 AM  
That poor kid.
 
2014-01-24 08:42:19 AM  

eyemarten: What the hell is wrong with these parents?

It is a child, not a pet.


They know that. The state will not pay you to raise a pet dog or cat.
 
2014-01-24 08:45:05 AM  

Disappearing Hitchhiker: Parents should also consider how the child's name would be Spoonerised. The kid below Le Pimp is Farker Pox.


Poor Shiloh Pitt.
 
2014-01-24 08:45:30 AM  
I miss the east alabama medical center's 'stork bytes' page.

//Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K
 
2014-01-24 08:46:25 AM  

QueenMamaBee: Neydy and Jose had a kid named Anderson?


Heh, that one stuck out to me too.
 
2014-01-24 08:47:56 AM  
Clearly, the only way to ensure the kid turns out okay is to Superman that 'ho' immediately.

OOOHHHHHHHH!
 
mhd
2014-01-24 08:51:33 AM  
s16.postimg.org
 
2014-01-24 08:52:24 AM  
I La'Affed pretty hard.
 
2014-01-24 08:53:56 AM  
I'm sure Jihad Mohammed* feels his pain.

/* i have no idea if there is really a jihad mohammed
//straw comedic attempt?
///because 3

.
 
2014-01-24 08:58:11 AM  
La'stupid La'name.
 
2014-01-24 09:01:48 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?


What do you mean?  What race are we talking about?  I don't see any mention of it.
 
2014-01-24 09:02:13 AM  
There can only be one response:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

My name is Sue. How DO you do? Now you gonna DIE!
 
2014-01-24 09:03:00 AM  
A good friend of mine saw a woman with a couple of kids in a store, the kids were acting up and she said "Spatula!  I've got two words for you- BE-HAVE!!"
Later, at the checkout, a canned ham she was trying to shoplift fell out from under her dress and she said "Who threw that ham at me?!?"
 
2014-01-24 09:23:21 AM  
www.funny-potato.com
 
2014-01-24 09:24:58 AM  
My second wife was a librarian in Maryland and one day after taking the bookmobile out to the rural area, she came back and told me of a little girl who checked out a book from her that day whose name was Syphilis.  She just could not believe a mother would name a child that name but, not getting into the racial background of the parents, from that name you kinda get the idea that they were neither Anglo nor Hispanic nor Asian.  What was that mother thinking?  I realize everyone has their pet names but...
 
2014-01-24 09:32:40 AM  

cwick: A good friend of mine saw a woman with a couple of kids in a store, the kids were acting up and she said "Spatula!  I've got two words for you- BE-HAVE!!"
Later, at the checkout, a canned ham she was trying to shoplift fell out from under her dress and she said "Who threw that ham at me?!?"


I use the "two words: BE-HAVE" line with my kids all the time. My oldest actually argued with her teacher when she was told it was one word.

I also taught them that the machine you get money from is an automated ATM machine.

/I screwed them up, haven't I?
 
2014-01-24 09:35:36 AM  
There is no way this is for real.
 
2014-01-24 09:41:27 AM  

AngryTeacher: I also taught them that the machine you get money from is an automated ATM machine.


Don't forget your PIN number!
 
2014-01-24 09:44:57 AM  

cwick: AngryTeacher: I also taught them that the machine you get money from is an automated ATM machine.

Don't forget your PIN number!


Your personal PIN number?  The one that goes with your CAC card?
 
2014-01-24 09:47:13 AM  

FLMountainMan: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.


First, a question is not a statement. Guilty conscience at work?

This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.
 
2014-01-24 09:48:57 AM  

LazerFish: La'stupid La'name.


Too right. La'zerFish.
 
2014-01-24 09:49:27 AM  
Gonna be La La in school. Song: "Who shot the La La?". Obscure?
 
2014-01-24 09:58:20 AM  

FrancoFile: cwick: AngryTeacher: I also taught them that the machine you get money from is an automated ATM machine.

Don't forget your PIN number!

Your personal PIN number?  The one that goes with your CAC card?


No, the CAC card doesn't work at an ATM machine.  Jesus, you people are idiots.
 
2014-01-24 10:02:13 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: FLMountainMan: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.

First, a question is not a statement. Guilty conscience at work?

This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.


I'm not addressing anything of the other issues you mentioned, but let's be fair about this one. The kid is named La'Pimp.
 
2014-01-24 10:02:15 AM  

oukewldave: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

What do you mean?  What race are we talking about?  I don't see any mention of it.


I hate the farking French.
 
2014-01-24 10:02:49 AM  
Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K seen nodding his approval.
 
2014-01-24 10:07:13 AM  
I went to high school with a guy named Ameane Person. He played basketball and on the roster it simply stated #12 A. Person.

/that's all I have to contribute to this thread at this time
 
2014-01-24 10:10:36 AM  
Where is that fundie judge in Tennessee when you need her? I bet after seeing La'Pimp she would be happy to rename him Messiah.
 
2014-01-24 10:16:40 AM  

Disaster Transport: A. Person


The part that we should remember.
 
2014-01-24 10:23:50 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: FLMountainMan: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.

First, a question is not a statement. Guilty conscience at work?

This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.



The kid is screwed. Not because of his name, but because he was born in Elkhart.

His only chance around here is in manufacturing, and he's gonna have some tough competition with all the Amish. Especially once little Anias grows up...

I actually think his middle name, Major, is pretty cool. Wouldn't name my own kid that, but it ain't that bad.
 
2014-01-24 10:25:10 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: FLMountainMan: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.

First, a question is not a statement. Guilty conscience at work?

This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.


WelcometoFark.jpg
 
2014-01-24 10:26:32 AM  
That's Major La'Pimp to you, sir!
 
2014-01-24 10:32:40 AM  
A German friend told me about how he had to get some kind of government approval for his kid's name (there's apparently laws about that sort of thing in Germany) and I was horrified at the time.  I think I still am, but after seeing this...I don't know...
 
2014-01-24 10:37:20 AM  
Wow, worst baby name of the year in on January 15th. That's got to be a new record.

You gotta admit, that's going to be a really hard one to top.
 
2014-01-24 10:39:37 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.


Weren't the assumptions, at least the ethnic ones, accurate?
 
2014-01-24 10:40:33 AM  
Getting a kick out of the hypersensitive righteous indignation crowd.
 
2014-01-24 10:40:46 AM  

ckccfa: A German friend told me about how he had to get some kind of government approval for his kid's name (there's apparently laws about that sort of thing in Germany) and I was horrified at the time.  I think I still am, but after seeing this...I don't know...


There is a number of European countries with accepted lists of names. There was quite the story recently about Iceland revolving around this. Here's the wiki on the organization responsible.
 
2014-01-24 10:56:52 AM  

Spaced Lion: Could be worse.

[i42.tinypic.com image 850x568]


Name: Twilight Sparkle

Sex: Male

...
 
2014-01-24 10:58:46 AM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2014-01-24 11:00:11 AM  
My ex gf did child support enforcement for the county and she had a case where the childs name  first name was Ninety-Five South.

I was in K-Mart a few years ago and there was a little girl running around and acting up and her mother called her Placenta

/CSB
 
2014-01-24 11:48:30 AM  
Female Jones (pronounced FeeMALeh)

The hospital done named her....
 
2014-01-24 11:51:16 AM  
I've seen a girl named Kittybelle Johnson.

Also got mildly outraged over a "Plumptious Johnson" before finding out that our lab does work for the local animal clinic and Plumptious was a cat.
 
2014-01-24 11:54:57 AM  
Gonna take a wild guess... Black?
 
2014-01-24 11:57:16 AM  
I think that adds a whole new level to the "How 'Gro Can You Go" scale.
 
2014-01-24 12:00:50 PM  
It would have to be Elkhart, too...
 
2014-01-24 12:07:11 PM  

mhd: Anias
/son of Merlin. Home birth. Oh my.


 Tbh I could totally see be known as "Anias, son of Merlin" around school would be awesome.

Has a much better ring than "Chuck, son of Leonard".
 
2014-01-24 12:22:58 PM  
I knew a white woman who's name was Joy Whole.
 
2014-01-24 12:27:03 PM  

QueenMamaBee: I've seen a girl named Kittybelle Johnson.

Also got mildly outraged over a "Plumptious Johnson" before finding out that our lab does work for the local animal clinic and Plumptious was a cat.


kih-teh-beh-LAY?
 
2014-01-24 12:31:35 PM  

Technoir: QueenMamaBee: I've seen a girl named Kittybelle Johnson.

Also got mildly outraged over a "Plumptious Johnson" before finding out that our lab does work for the local animal clinic and Plumptious was a cat.

kih-teh-beh-LAY?


Nope, not even that fancy. Kitty. Bell. Our white trash isn't too pretentious.
 
2014-01-24 12:37:22 PM  
Link's farked. Well done, everyone.
 
2014-01-24 01:05:24 PM  
Oh for fark's sake.

She's not even giving him a chance.

Single mother, plus stupid name that will haunt him forever, or until he gets old enough to change it legally, should he actually have enough sense to do so.
 
2014-01-24 01:11:07 PM  
Looks like poverty has reached critical mass and is now self-sustaining.
 
2014-01-24 01:17:42 PM  
Fourth name down...

www.wired.com
 
2014-01-24 01:23:35 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: FLMountainMan: InterruptingQuirk: How many racists we have in here today?

Easier to label everyone as opposed to addressing problems, amirite?  Go back to your Law & Order reruns.

First, a question is not a statement. Guilty conscience at work?

This whole article was predicated on the choice of name for a newborn. We don't know anything else about this child or their parents and yet in the first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services, a picture of a pimp, an assumption that the child has no viable future, an assumption that the parents are stupid, an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job", and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes.


I call Bullshiat.

First - We don't know anything else about this child or their parents parent, where's dad on the announcement?  That's right, he's farking Tamekia's sister at the moment.

Second - first ~10 comments we have an assumption for the need of Children's Protective Services , at least somebody will be looking out for the kid.

Third - a picture of a pimp , his name is La'Soulja Major La'Pimp Burks.

Fourth - an assumption that the child has no viable future http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/01/us/01race.html?_r=2&

Fifth - an assumption that the parents are mom is stupid , his name is La'Soulja Major La'Pimp Burks - Mommy's not in mensa.

Sixth - an assumption that this name ensures that the "child is a failure for their entire life and incapable of getting a job"  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/01/us/01race.html?_r=2&;

Seventh - and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes, you got a point with this one,but remember that stereotypes are usually based on the most frequent information received about a culture by other cultures.

There should be an article or two about the idiots naming their kids: Apple, Aiden/Caiden/Braiden/Faiden/Maiden, Taco, North, Doorknob, Gesika, etc.
 
2014-01-24 01:32:18 PM  
I knew a guy whose real name was "Whiskey Burns"
 
2014-01-24 01:35:27 PM  
His middle name was Cyotte (ky-oat)
 
2014-01-24 01:40:28 PM  
No Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho?
I am disappoint.
 
2014-01-24 01:52:03 PM  
 
2014-01-24 01:56:36 PM  
Even his older brother Ralph is sittin' there shaking his head.
 
2014-01-24 02:10:58 PM  

FarkQued: Seventh - and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes, you got a point with this one,but remember that stereotypes are usually based on the most frequent information received about a culture by other cultures.


No, its the information that other cultures choose to pay attention to, not necessarily the most frequent information, but still, I understand your effort to make your racist bullshiat you pulled out of your ass sound all scientific n stuff.
 
2014-01-24 02:29:37 PM  
I guess the strangest name I know of personally is a guy I went to school with.

Ceyork

Pronounced See-Dee-Auck

He was a strange one.
 
2014-01-24 02:35:48 PM  

Madbassist1: FarkQued: Seventh - and a slew of name games revolving around cultural stereotypes, you got a point with this one,but remember that stereotypes are usually based on the most frequent information received about a culture by other cultures.

No, its the information that other cultures choose to pay attention to, not necessarily the most frequent information, but still, I understand your effort to make your racist bullshiat you pulled out of your ass sound all scientific n stuff.


Oxford Stereotype Definition: "a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing", there has to be examples that are common enough in a population to create a widely held perception of the whole population, this mom and how she named her kid is one of many examples.  Your welcome for explaining that, snowflake.
 
2014-01-24 02:36:18 PM  

MadMonk: They should have just named him Convict.


That reminded me of a college football joke. "What do you call a Cougar in a suit and tie?" "The defendant."
 
2014-01-24 03:06:12 PM  

AbuHashish: MadMonk: They should have just named him Convict.

That reminded me of a college football joke. "What do you call a Cougar in a suit and tie?" "The defendant."


I fully expect to see a receiver someday named Completrius. Also I'm looking forward to the day when I meet a Lunesta, Boniva, or a Valtrexia
 
2014-01-24 03:07:31 PM  
Re: Racism

Black people can be incredibly stupid too. It's okay to point and laugh at stupid black people.

Just don't get your meth sweat stained knickers in a knot when others make fun of you for naming your kids Billy Joe Bob Guthry Ennis the Threeve and yelling about birf certifimacates and "Mexicans" who are actually from the Philippines stealing yer jerb when you can't even be bothered to leave the trailer park long enough to get the 17 year old manager at the local McD's to sign your welfare job search form because "you don't take no guff from them filthy libruls and egghead burr... boor-o... er... bieuooor-o... uh... pencil pooshin' gubmint nancies".

Also... you still aren't allowed to say the "N" word. You just aren't.

/here to help
 
2014-01-24 03:27:48 PM  

here to help: Re: Racism

Black people can be incredibly stupid too. It's okay to point and laugh at stupid black people.

Just don't get your meth sweat stained knickers in a knot when others make fun of you for naming your kids Billy Joe Bob Guthry Ennis the Threeve and yelling about birf certifimacates and "Mexicans" who are actually from the Philippines stealing yer jerb when you can't even be bothered to leave the trailer park long enough to get the 17 year old manager at the local McD's to sign your welfare job search form because "you don't take no guff from them filthy libruls and egghead burr... boor-o... er... bieuooor-o... uh... pencil pooshin' gubmint nancies".

Also... you still aren't allowed to say the "N" word. You just aren't.

/here to help


i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-01-24 03:31:50 PM  

abhorrent1: GBB: Can't be racist when we don't know the race.

Um,
Tamekia Datgoodshiat Burks

Not 100% sure but it's probably a good bet that's her



She names the hospital (Elkhart General) where she had the baby in her profile, so it's a good bet that's her!
 
2014-01-24 03:37:24 PM  
I / my parents have known a:

-Shanda Leer
-Monday Morning Mail
-Mike Hunt
-William Williams
-Mellow (don't remember last name)

...i know I'm forgetting a few
 
2014-01-24 04:06:41 PM  
I hope the kid looks good in orange.
 
2014-01-24 04:37:25 PM  
I always wondered what would happen if some parents named their child a string of the worst swearwords they could come up with... And, not like the old "spelled shiathead but pronounced she-the-add" type thing... But, actually intended to be pronounced as swear words... Would teachers really read out their names during rollcall? Or what if they're ever in court and need to be called to testify? Or what if they do something newsworthy, would papers print their name or TV news channels say it? I'm actually kind of surprised I haven't heard of such a situation already really, given all the other horrible names we hear about... I really want to see someone named Cocksucker Motherfarker Asshole or similar!
 
2014-01-24 05:28:04 PM  

scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net

 
2014-01-24 07:00:30 PM  
La' Soulja, for a boy? I have to question the wisdom of giving a boy such a feminine sounding name.
 
2014-01-24 09:46:46 PM  
How about putting a small twist on naming a kid: Change the spelling of the name by using the next consonant and next vowel in the alphabet for each letter?

For example: "Wehope."

/"Where are you from, kid?"
//"It's right there in my name."
///magic number
 
2014-01-24 09:51:06 PM  

2KanZam: I / my parents have known a:

-Shanda Leer
-Monday Morning Mail
-Mike Hunt
-William Williams
-Mellow (don't remember last name)

...i know I'm forgetting a few


Just today, I saw a guy interviewed on the local news named "Rick Shaw."
 
2014-01-24 09:52:47 PM  

RobSeace: I always wondered what would happen if some parents named their child a string of the worst swearwords they could come up with... And, not like the old "spelled shiathead but pronounced she-the-add" type thing... But, actually intended to be pronounced as swear words... Would teachers really read out their names during rollcall? Or what if they're ever in court and need to be called to testify? Or what if they do something newsworthy, would papers print their name or TV news channels say it? I'm actually kind of surprised I haven't heard of such a situation already really, given all the other horrible names we hear about... I really want to see someone named Cocksucker Motherfarker Asshole or similar!


"Farkyouasshole Firstamendment Smith"
 
2014-01-24 11:51:44 PM  

Sofa King Smart: I miss the east alabama medical center's 'stork bytes' page.

//Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K


Nope. Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K was born in good ol' Topeka, KS.  St. Francis is just a few streets from where I work.
 
2014-01-25 12:09:48 AM  
A thai colleague of mine, pornsit, tried to assimilate by shortening his name to Porn when he came to the US.

We convinced him to use PJ instead.

Awesome guy.
 
2014-01-25 12:14:05 AM  
Taco actually is a fairly common duych guy name.

Ritalyn for a girl or Adarol for a boy would be cute.
 
2014-01-25 12:42:09 AM  
Royal Highness Calley is a real person.  He goes by Roy.  And he's white.
 
2014-01-25 03:56:46 AM  
In the non-print link, you can see the mother posting in the comment section.
 
2014-01-25 10:13:02 AM  

FarkQued: Your welcome for explaining that, snowflake.


Oh yay. Yet another FARK contributor who isnt nearly as intelligent as he thinks he is. Color me shocked.
 
2014-01-25 10:16:12 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: [scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 540x720]


That looks like a woman. I always thought you were a guy. Don't know why, but I did.
 
2014-01-25 10:20:24 AM  

Madbassist1: That looks like a woman. I always thought you were a guy. Don't know why, but I did.


Cute. That's the babbymomma.
 
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