Gecko Gingrich: 25 year-old boyfriend + dating her for 9 years + adult daughter = The Aristocrats!
Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: When did black people start sitting around campfires?
DAHFreedom: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
wild9: This almost happened to me a few months back. I was working on a ladder in the barn and it came out from under me. I fell about 9 ft right down and landed on my feet, then went down on all four from the pain. Looked up and my face was a few inches from the wood stove. No broken bones in the foot but it has yet to fully heal.
Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: OK, I know this is racist, but...When did black people start sitting around campfires?
Jument: When asked why she stayed with him after the pervious altercations, Coston answered: "It's simply out of love."Ladies (and gentlemen), if you ever find yourself thinking along these lines, smack yourself upside the head and get the hell out of Dodge. Nobody who loves you will ever hit you, under any circumstances. Parents (to a point) and accidents excepted.
berylman: Anti-psychotics in the public water supply is sounding better all the time.
berylman: Deathfrogg: They showed me how to make coffee with an old sockThat's like some kind of magical transmutation. Maybe that is what Folger's does. (and yeah I assume you meant fill the sock with actual coffee and stick it in a pot of boiling water - eww smelly athelete's foot coffee),
ZeroCorpse: It's horrible. Necrosis on a large scale.To put it delicately, a brown recluse bite in the face would, at the very least, make me look like an extra from The Walking Dead.
skinink: I know a guy who likes to fight,He's dating a woman who's kinda slight,When he's having an argument, he don't use knives,To threaten his girlfriend's or daughter's lives,He uses gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasoline,Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasoline....[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x476]
ZeroCorpse: wild9: This almost happened to me a few months back. I was working on a ladder in the barn and it came out from under me. I fell about 9 ft right down and landed on my feet, then went down on all four from the pain. Looked up and my face was a few inches from the wood stove. No broken bones in the foot but it has yet to fully heal.It's not fire, but a few years back I was working on my bike, with my face about an inch from the tire, when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.There, on the tire, no more than 1" from my right cheek, was a brown recluse... And it was twitching, as if irritated by my proximity.I managed to back away slowly and then (because I don't kill spiders) captured it in a coffee can and released it in the woods... But I still get chills thinking about how close I was to a terrible fate. If you haven't seen what a brown recluse bite does to human skin, I don't recommend looking it up unless you have a strong stomach. It's horrible. Necrosis on a large scale.To put it delicately, a brown recluse bite in the face would, at the very least, make me look like an extra from The Walking Dead.
Pointy Tail of Satan: I wonder if he will be a giver or taker in prison?
Nabb1: Forget it, Jake. It's Bradenton.
TinyFist: My girlfriends daughter?Yeah, that ain't f*cking happening. Sorry, even at 34 I'm not dating anyone with kids.
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Nabb1: Forget it, Jake. It's Bradenton.Nothing but ghetto trash, attractive and successful Caucasian-Americans, migrant workers, rednecks, and a few retirees who can't afford to move to Sarasota. Bradenton is quite possibly the worst city in Florida.
jjorsett: Keep in mind as you're sitting home alone tonight with your Playstation that even a violent, wacked-out POS like this has a girlfriend.
If you like these links, you'll love
The next best thing to UltraFark
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Oct 23 2017 05:04:40
Runtime: 0.312 sec (312 ms)