Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC News)   Birth rates in U.shiat historic low as it's really hard to have sex in your mom's basement   (nbcnews.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, birth rates, U.S., your mom, basements  
•       •       •

5577 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2014 at 4:56 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-01-22 10:09:29 PM  
WTF?! Stupid filter!!
 
2014-01-22 10:13:07 PM  
*snert*
 
2014-01-22 10:17:15 PM  
Heh...
 
2014-01-22 10:19:05 PM  
I do hate when I shiat historically low
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-01-22 10:19:57 PM  
I submitted this with a shiattier headline.
 
2014-01-22 10:25:38 PM  
Best accidentally funny headline of the year so far.
 
2014-01-22 10:36:48 PM  
+1...This must be greened, because why the fark not?  We need a good trainwreck thread tomorrow morning.
 
2014-01-22 10:38:25 PM  
That's the best filterpwn I've seen in a very long time. VTFU.
 
2014-01-22 10:48:11 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-22 11:04:13 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com

awesome
 
2014-01-22 11:24:56 PM  
God I hate it when I go to take a shiat and give birth.

I should stop going to the prom. :(
 
2014-01-22 11:26:08 PM  
I love the new filter
 
2014-01-22 11:34:13 PM  

what_now: God I hate it when I go to take a shiat and give birth.

I should stop going to the prom. :(


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-22 11:35:58 PM  
Heh ... green.

www.survivingcollege.com
 
2014-01-22 11:38:11 PM  
Who U calling shiat motherfarker?
 
2014-01-22 11:38:41 PM  

miss diminutive: [31.media.tumblr.com image 390x219]

awesome


This.
 
2014-01-22 11:42:05 PM  
Where is U. shiat? Sounds like it used to be a party school.
 
2014-01-22 11:43:02 PM  
Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.
 
2014-01-22 11:44:52 PM  
If he'shiatting it where U shiat, no wonder you're not getting pregnant.
 
2014-01-22 11:45:23 PM  

nmrsnr: Where is U. shiat? Sounds like it used to be a party school.


Well-known rival of Wassa Matta

/surely you've heard of the Wassa Matta U / U Shiat challenges?
 
2014-01-22 11:58:27 PM  
FARK YOU MODMIN
 
2014-01-22 11:58:50 PM  
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

cdn.uproxx.com

/I love you, mods ...
 
2014-01-23 12:20:18 AM  

Notabunny: Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.


You forgot the best one.
 
2014-01-23 12:29:50 AM  
Another one of those "anal sex to avoid pregnancy" threads, eh?

And on a related topic, "sex in your mom's basement" is my new favorite euphemism.
 
2014-01-23 12:37:58 AM  
Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.
 
2014-01-23 12:41:04 AM  
If this headline stays as is, my happiness will know no end.
 
2014-01-23 12:49:01 AM  
U.shiat should be the name of a porto-john day rental.
 
2014-01-23 12:54:56 AM  
Thanks for the late-night laughs. Nobody is ever going to care about tfa after they're done laughing

Definitely hoty contender
 
2014-01-23 01:08:18 AM  

Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.



Especially when you're trying to make the Boobies.
 
2014-01-23 01:10:05 AM  

SilentStrider: Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.


Especially when you're trying to make the Boobies.


You can't doge the filter.
 
2014-01-23 01:20:47 AM  
Right up there with the boobies-master general.
 
2014-01-23 01:38:39 AM  
Everything's terrific until someone gets filterpwned.
 
2014-01-23 03:16:33 AM  

GWSuperfan: Right up there with the boobies-master general.


That headline should be in the internet hall of fame.
 
2014-01-23 03:43:40 AM  
is that a university of some kind? is it an accredited institution?
 
2014-01-23 04:59:52 AM  
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.
 
2014-01-23 05:00:11 AM  
This is a good thing. Place is too crowded, anyhow. It also means less people for everyone else to pay for.
 
2014-01-23 05:00:35 AM  
I'm going to go take a historically low shiat now, but I think it's because I've got the norovirus.

Later, projectile vomiting. Fun! Like sex in your mom's basement.
 
2014-01-23 05:04:42 AM  
This thread has epic potential.
 
2014-01-23 05:04:51 AM  
www.wallsdown.net
 
2014-01-23 05:05:05 AM  
But what will become of baby-worship in our culture?
 
2014-01-23 05:06:02 AM  

Notabunny: Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.


What's wrong with ftts? It is such a happy word, and it could be anything. ..."New! Cheese Tits!" See?!

/Autocorrect tried making "tits" "fits"
//Damn autocorrect...
 
2014-01-23 05:10:36 AM  
U.S.I.A

Unidentified shiat in ass
 
2014-01-23 05:14:08 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-23 05:16:39 AM  
Well, at least Social Security and Medicare will be around for people who don't have children to take care of them.
 
2014-01-23 05:22:12 AM  

Scythed: Well, at least Social Security and Medicare will be around for people who don't have children to take care of them.


Because all children take care of their parents, always.. The whole idea of your kids taking care of you when you get old is one of the most retarded, selfish, mis-guided reasons to have children that floats around Fark.

/also, successful folk who don't have kids end up having money for actual quality care(ie, not gov provided) later in life.
 
2014-01-23 05:24:32 AM  
Is that combined or separate from a Cosby Sweater?
 
2014-01-23 05:30:15 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-23 05:34:49 AM  
Thank you, thank you very much, everyone.
*waves*
*takes bow*
 
2014-01-23 05:36:31 AM  
This post is relevant to my interests.
 
2014-01-23 05:38:18 AM  

skatedrifter: WTF?! Stupid filter!!


I'm not stupid, I just make YOU look stupid.
 
2014-01-23 05:40:50 AM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Notabunny: Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.

You forgot the best one.


Hai guyz what's goin' on?

s28.postimg.org
 
2014-01-23 05:44:34 AM  
lulz, tee-hee, etc.
 
2014-01-23 06:01:29 AM  
I'm getting mixed signals here, Fark. I thought poop threads were frowned upon hereabouts, but then the Farkfilter goes and does a thing like that.
 
2014-01-23 06:01:43 AM  
I am sad to confess that my mind auto-corrected the headline.  I have been on Fark too long it seems.  Fortunately, the comments in here have helped get me back on track.
 
2014-01-23 06:02:05 AM  
Subby;
i11.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-23 06:26:04 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-23 06:29:49 AM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: [i.imgur.com image 500x325]


Damn near choked on my cereal for a second there.
 
2014-01-23 06:31:13 AM  
I stopped at a gas station in Nevada one time. The sign out front said it was below sea level, so I'm going to assume that was my all time low.

/2009
 
2014-01-23 06:38:13 AM  
i36.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-23 06:45:09 AM  
Oh, man. Best filter pwnage ever.

This is better than the time someone tried to use the words "logic" and "until" next to each other. It was a pretty serious thread before that...
 
2014-01-23 06:48:33 AM  
Bill Gates said something to the effect of that with today's healthcare, children are much more likely to survive to adulthood, thus eliminating the need for couples to have lots of children

Bill Gates Debunks Myths About Poverty
 
2014-01-23 06:51:47 AM  
Another "my lifestyle is more valid than yours" thread. Charming.
 
2014-01-23 06:54:39 AM  
I heart you Fark Filter
 
2014-01-23 07:03:32 AM  
This is part of the reason for the big push for amnesty.

Too few kids to eventually pay for Medicaid and SS for old folks. You need bodies out there paying taxes to keep the machines running. Japan knows all about it.
 
2014-01-23 07:14:49 AM  
Awesome filterpwn.
 
2014-01-23 07:16:53 AM  
When I was checking out colleges, U. Shiat looked pretty crappy.

/filter does not pwn headlines
/still funny
 
2014-01-23 07:20:45 AM  
We are just making more room for Clevon's decedents.

Just watching morning news proves it's happening.  Just watching the Indiana statehouse proves it's happening, too.
 
2014-01-23 07:29:47 AM  
I blame porn, vibrators and fleshlights.

/real dolls haven't yet made a dent
//so to speak
///sexual slashies
 
2014-01-23 07:31:10 AM  
As a matter of course, I tend to aver bodily function humor....but this shiat is funny.
 
2014-01-23 07:31:45 AM  
that should have said "abhor" damn Swype
 
2014-01-23 07:33:22 AM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Bill Gates said something to the effect of that with today's healthcare, children are much more likely to survive to adulthood, thus eliminating the need for couples to have lots of children

Bill Gates Debunks Myths About Poverty


And how, pray tell, is the Master Race supposed to keep up with the minorities that are squirting out inferior babies all over the place?

Oh I wasn't supposed to phrase it like that was I?
 
2014-01-23 07:35:49 AM  

skatedrifter: WTF?! Stupid filter!!


Come on this is more of a Filter Win!
 
2014-01-23 07:36:59 AM  
da gayz causes this, too much buttsects and ginaclangin

I can help with the 18-19 year old prego rates, EIP...
 
2014-01-23 07:43:56 AM  
Ok, put me out of my misery and tell me what the original headline read?

/coffee isn't strong enough this morning
 
2014-01-23 07:46:41 AM  

jaybeezey: This is part of the reason for the big push for amnesty.

Too few kids to eventually pay for Medicaid and SS for old folks. You need bodies out there paying taxes to keep the machines running. Japan knows all about it.


This - if we don't get some serious immigration soon, we're boned.
 
2014-01-23 07:50:10 AM  
Oh Mike.... so awesome. Never change it.
 
2014-01-23 07:51:09 AM  
Cintoned in the Boobies?
 
2014-01-23 07:54:37 AM  

The Fark Filter: Thank you, thank you very much, everyone.
*waves*
*takes bow*


Oh great. Novelty accounts, just like reddit. Yay.
 
2014-01-23 08:03:44 AM  

robohobo: Scythed: Well, at least Social Security and Medicare will be around for people who don't have children to take care of them.

Because all children take care of their parents, always.. The whole idea of your kids taking care of you when you get old is one of the most retarded, selfish, mis-guided reasons to have children that floats around Fark.

/also, successful folk who don't have kids end up having money for actual quality care(ie, not gov provided) later in life.


Don't worry, plenty of Catholics flooding over our southern border to make up for it.  I heard Catholics LOVE the idea of gay marriage, too, so make sure they get legal and can vote.
 
2014-01-23 08:08:03 AM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Notabunny: Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.

You forgot the best one.


S*mprini?
 
2014-01-23 08:23:05 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: Ok, put me out of my misery and tell me what the original headline read?

/coffee isn't strong enough this morning


"Birth rates in the U.shiat historic low as its really hard to have sex in your mom's basement" is what it should have read. Subby forgot a period and space between U.S and hits.

Also... for those of you trying to comment on the content of the article... might as well give it up, this thread is never turning into that discussion now.
 
2014-01-23 08:24:25 AM  

miscreant: "Birth rates in the U.shiat historic low as its really hard to have sex in your mom's basement" is what it should have read. Subby forgot a period and space between U.S and hits.


Turns out Subby didn't forget anything... the filter ignores periods and spaces? Learn something new every day...
 
2014-01-23 08:26:24 AM  
Please please please do NOT correct the pwn.

It's beautiful.
 
2014-01-23 08:28:00 AM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Notabunny: Nobody gives you a list. shiat, piss, fark, coont, cocksucker, motherfarker, and tits. Well, almost nobody.

You forgot the best one.


twat twaht?
 
2014-01-23 08:30:58 AM  

TheBigJerk: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Bill Gates said something to the effect of that with today's healthcare, children are much more likely to survive to adulthood, thus eliminating the need for couples to have lots of children

Bill Gates Debunks Myths About Poverty

And how, pray tell, is the Master Race supposed to keep up with the minorities that are squirting out inferior babies all over the place?

Oh I wasn't supposed to phrase it like that was I?


Start eliminating the inferior types, of course.
There needn't be any more solutions. This one is final.
 
2014-01-23 08:31:25 AM  

Scythed: Well, at least Social Security and Medicare will be around for people who don't have children to take care of them.


WTF does this even mean?  Kids are not slaves.
 
2014-01-23 08:33:20 AM  
It's no, "clintoned in the boobies" but it'll do.
 
2014-01-23 08:41:39 AM  
shiat low
shiat low
shiat low, sweet filterpwn
Comin' for to log me off...
 
2014-01-23 08:48:30 AM  

POOP THREAD!

 
2014-01-23 08:52:28 AM  

brimed03: The Fark Filter: Thank you, thank you very much, everyone.
*waves*
*takes bow*

Oh great. Novelty accounts, just like reddit. Yay.


Wait till we start seeing posts from xXxXx The Fark Filter xXxXx2718281828.
 
2014-01-23 08:58:31 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-23 09:00:19 AM  
The filter is on a roll.  Earlier this week we learned that Ben Franklin was the Boobiesmaster General.
 
2014-01-23 09:00:57 AM  

nmrsnr: Where is U. shiat? Sounds like it used to be a party school.


It's in Tempe, AZ.
 
2014-01-23 09:13:22 AM  
As a tenured faculty member at U.shiat, I declare that this thread has an extremely high impact farkter!
 
2014-01-23 09:19:09 AM  

MisterTweak: SilentStrider: Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.


Especially when you're trying to make the Boobies.

You can't doge the filter.


It can be pretty epic until it all starts hitting the fan.
 
2014-01-23 09:20:58 AM  

sxacho: MisterTweak: SilentStrider: Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.


Especially when you're trying to make the Boobies.

You can't doge the filter.

It can be pretty epic until it all starts hitting the fan.


WOAH, new rules.
 
2014-01-23 09:25:03 AM  
Why is there a filter?
 
2014-01-23 09:30:27 AM  
That headline reminds me of my Boobies in the Navy aboard USS Abraham Lincoln,coont2.  I remember when one of our watch officers hit a whale with the prow as we were headed into port.

/just kidding
//submariner not skimmer
 
2014-01-23 09:31:31 AM  

neversubmit: Why is there a filter?


So that automatic scan/filter software packages like Websense don't pick up on the vile nature of our conversations and block us from people's work computers.
 
2014-01-23 09:31:32 AM  

Classic filter pwnage thread.



img.fark.net

Link
 
2014-01-23 09:32:28 AM  

factoryconnection: That headline reminds me of my Boobies in the Navy aboard USS Abraham Lincoln,coont2.  I remember when one of our watch officers hit a whale with the prow as we were headed into port.

/just kidding
//submariner not skimmer


Damnit.
 
2014-01-23 09:36:07 AM  

August11: But what will become of baby-worship in our culture?


It'll get worse; as babies get rarer they'll be considered even more "precious".
 
2014-01-23 09:37:02 AM  
Good time to get into the love-hotel business?
 
2014-01-23 10:12:37 AM  
Birth rates go down when the economy is down (and is also most likely a trailing indicator of the economy). These stats are from 2011, so the pregnancies started roughly April 2010-April 2011.  Yea, I'm not surprised.
 
2014-01-23 10:27:29 AM  
Yeah the US is going down the same path that Japan has. shiat stagnant economy with millions of prime breeding age adults looking around and going no job, no hope, no future, no children.
 
2014-01-23 10:37:06 AM  

Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.


Speaking of the filter, what day of the week does Biatchmas fall on this year?
 
2014-01-23 10:58:25 AM  
I like to shiat high.
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-23 11:10:21 AM  

jso2897: jaybeezey: This is part of the reason for the big push for amnesty.

Too few kids to eventually pay for Medicaid and SS for old folks. You need bodies out there paying taxes to keep the machines running. Japan knows all about it.

This - if we don't get some serious immigration soon, we're boned.


The beneficiaries of amnesty are going to be disproportionately dumb, poor, and unemployed.  If you think they're going to save social programs, you may not have thought your plan all the way through.
 
2014-01-23 11:13:02 AM  

TheGogmagog: I like to shiat high.


Wow it is like shiat-du-soleil.
 
2014-01-23 11:13:10 AM  
This isn't a filter pwn because the original would have looked retarded anyway. The only pwnage is OP against himself for being a contemptible farkwit who can't look at letters.
 
2014-01-23 11:18:13 AM  
Well its been trending towards those who have babies are only doing it for the tax reasons.
 
2014-01-23 11:18:48 AM  
This headline should get a special HotY award for awesome filter pwnage in a headline.
 
2014-01-23 11:27:15 AM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Scythed: Well, at least Social Security and Medicare will be around for people who don't have children to take care of them.

WTF does this even mean?  Kids are not slaves.


Go have some kids and then come back and tell me it's not all django unchained up in there with the shooting white folk and such as.
 
2014-01-23 11:33:47 AM  

Nickster79: If this headline stays as is, my happiness will know no end.


I've seen headlines with less cosmetic damage hurriedly fixed.  I guess it depends on if subby knows the mods on duty, what mood the mods are in, etc.
 
2014-01-23 12:09:06 PM  

MisterTweak: SilentStrider: Solid State Vittles: Sometimes that filter can be a biatchallenging.


Especially when you're trying to make the Boobies.

You can't doge the filter.


O RLY?

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-23 12:14:39 PM  
WEEEEE!

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2014-01-23 12:30:40 PM  

MisterTweak: You can't doge the filter.


i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-23 02:58:57 PM  
First time in an epic thread. Yay!
 
2014-01-23 03:43:00 PM  

Triumph: U.shiat should be the name of a porto-john day rental.


From the headline, I think it's subby's mom's basement.

Feel free to interpret that any way you'd like.
 
2014-01-23 04:26:49 PM  
I think the filter needs to be adjusted a tad.
 
2014-01-23 05:21:48 PM  
"In 2008, Medicaid covered 40.5 percent of hospital stays for newborns, which increased to 44.7 percent in 2011,"
 
2014-01-23 05:23:06 PM  
^^^Image for the above

img2.timeinc.net
 
2014-01-23 05:24:58 PM  
It's probably not norovirus! Yay!

I still gotta wash these underwear, though.
 
2014-01-24 06:53:24 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: It's probably not norovirus! Yay!

I still gotta wash these underwear, though.




I am going to walk into a meeting talking on my phone and finish with that sentence as I. walk in. I might do that walking into stores all over town.
 
Displayed 124 of 124 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report