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(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   Man accused of throwing mixture of eggnog, hot sauce, and WD-40 into his girlfriend's face   (press-citizen.com) divider line 43
    More: Sick, Des Moines, egg nog, hot sauces, girlfriend, analytic variety  
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2770 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2014 at 2:14 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-22 11:47:55 PM
I'm really curious to know what kind of experimentation led him to that particular combination.
 
2014-01-23 12:25:15 AM
What a coincidence. I was just drinking an eggnog, hot sauce, and wd-40 with a glance at a bottle of Vermouth. Cheers. Fellow weirdo.
 
2014-01-23 12:30:57 AM
Spunklopnik?
 
2014-01-23 01:03:06 AM
So... Bender gives some woman a facial, and this is somehow news?
 
2014-01-23 02:00:27 AM
The guy has got to be some kind of wizard.
 
2014-01-23 02:19:16 AM

markie_farkie: So... Bender gives some woman a facial, and this is somehow news?



You owe me a new keyboard.
 
2014-01-23 02:21:42 AM
I a tired of reading these terrible things on Fark. What kind of idiot would do that? I mean... Eggnog? After the holidays? Jesus, that sick bastard!
 
2014-01-23 02:21:42 AM
so...hot, festive, and well lubricated...i can see where he was going with this.
 
2014-01-23 02:23:17 AM

markie_farkie: So... Bender gives some woman a facial, and this is somehow news?


I would add that maneuver to UrbanDictionary as "The Bender" but I really don't want to set up a user account there.
 
2014-01-23 02:27:43 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-23 02:28:59 AM
So he was out of lighter fluid and WD-40 was the replacement?
 
2014-01-23 02:36:10 AM
The most crucial part of this is what type of hot sauce he was using.  Crystal? Blair's Ultra Death? Sriracha? Tobasco? Dave's Insanity? Da Bomb?  I must know.  Because the Pain Train is operating at a completely different speed limit depending on which sauce.
 
2014-01-23 02:43:45 AM
FTFA:"He reportedly admitted to throwing the mixture at his ex-girlfriend and said he had discussed with a friend what the WD-40 would do to a person."

What up, boys?  Not much, just thinking I might throw some chemicals or food products in Charlene's face.  Any recommendations?

WD-40? Not a bad idea.
 
2014-01-23 02:51:17 AM
Good for him for using WD-40. That shiat is awesome. He should've added duct tape to the mix, though. Somehow, someway, I don't know.
 
2014-01-23 02:59:28 AM
It was delicious.
 
2014-01-23 03:01:29 AM
It's not like he'd need the WD-40 for himself. Based on the neck tattoo, I'd say he was already a loose nut.
 
2014-01-23 03:21:13 AM
That is outrageous.

My grocery store stopped stocking eggnog weeks ago. Where did he find eggnog in January?
 
2014-01-23 03:58:16 AM
I'd rather get WD-40 and hot sauce in my eyes than get eggnog anywhere near my mouth.
 
2014-01-23 04:04:08 AM

Captain James T. Smirk: I'd rather get WD-40 and hot sauce in my eyes than get eggnog anywhere near my mouth.


Good! More for me!

Thank God they don't sell that stuff year-round. I'd be the happiest 400lb person in the world.
 
2014-01-23 04:11:49 AM
Worst. Homemade. Bukkake. Film. EVAR.
 
2014-01-23 04:18:49 AM

MontanaDave: Worst. Homemade. Bukkake. Film. EVAR.


Don't judge.
I hope there was no booze in the 'nog.
/won't someone thing of the booze?
 
2014-01-23 04:29:02 AM

fusillade762: I'm really curious to know what kind of experimentation led him to that particular combination.


I'm guessing eggnog because it was left over and spoiled, hot sauce because that sh*t burns, and WD-40 because it works on everything.

Am i a psychopath noiw? Dammit.
 
2014-01-23 04:30:46 AM

markie_farkie: So... Bender gives some woman a facial, and this is somehow news?


I've seen documentaries on this subject - he wasn't doing it right.
 
2014-01-23 05:01:38 AM
Mixture of eggnog, hot sauce, and WD-40

Damn I miss my mom's cooking
 
2014-01-23 05:36:47 AM

markie_farkie: So... Bender gives some woman a facial, and this is somehow news?


It was a banner year in the Bender household
 
2014-01-23 05:54:35 AM
Eew, eggnog?
 
2014-01-23 06:15:39 AM
Did she end up hot, drunk and lubricated?
 
2014-01-23 07:03:31 AM
Slick!
 
2014-01-23 07:06:47 AM
Poor attempt at creative bukake.
www.superbikesec.co.za
 
2014-01-23 07:13:38 AM
Neck tat.
 
2014-01-23 07:24:15 AM
He made her fertile, hot and lubricated.
I don't see the point of the eggnog.
Was he going to pop the question?
 
2014-01-23 07:35:36 AM
When did Sheldon get the neck tattoo and mean streak?
 
2014-01-23 07:36:54 AM

MBooda: Poor attempt at creative bukake.


Those reverse Sharpie eyebrows always looked weird.


Cool (hot?) story:
Once went to this nice Chinese place, had the Hot & Sour soup.
Added a good amount of the vinegar from small green chilli bowl they have on the table.

Talking to my friend, the sour and now extremely spicy soup goes down the wrong way.
Kept coughing for like 5 minutes.

The weird part?
My voiced changed for almost two hours.
Have no idea what happened to my vocal chords.
 
2014-01-23 08:22:36 AM
That's not how you make a Soiled Kimono.
 
2014-01-23 08:37:45 AM
That's how we do it in Kingsport!
 
2014-01-23 08:41:07 AM
Does Justin Beiber know about this exotic mixture? Might be something he could use when he gets back home to CaliforniaCanada.
 
2014-01-23 09:32:22 AM
Krokodil?
 
2014-01-23 09:38:29 AM

suicide: fusillade762: I'm really curious to know what kind of experimentation led him to that particular combination.

I'm guessing eggnog because it was left over and spoiled, hot sauce because that sh*t burns, and WD-40 because it works on everything.

Am i a psychopath noiw? Dammit.


Since they were meeting up to exchange items, I figured she left those things at his place.  She should've remembered his knife and gun left at her place.
 
2014-01-23 11:01:18 AM

bighairyguy: When did Sheldon get the neck tattoo and mean streak?


Maybe she was sitting in his spot?
 
2014-01-23 11:36:28 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-23 01:49:08 PM
Normally I have to pay extra for that.
 
2014-01-23 03:12:45 PM
Need to see before/after pics. Never know it could have been improvement.
 
2014-01-23 10:26:14 PM
cdn2.hauteliving.com
Approves
 
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