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(The Raw Story)   Republican congressional candidate akskakak sheelalala poronioni porshgard schnabeltier babablakshep   (rawstory.com) divider line 124
    More: Asinine, GOP, Republicans, Alaska, singing in tongues, Holy Ghost, Holy Spirits, fiscally conservative  
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3580 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Jan 2014 at 5:45 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-22 03:56:46 PM  
Ugh, you guys just don't understand. Satan can't understand her when she sings in tongue.

I mean, God can't either, but that's not the point.
 
2014-01-22 04:06:57 PM  
Steam room my ass..

That's a room full of pot smoke.

Still doesn't make her any less batshiat crazy, and even more sadly, make her unelectable..
 
2014-01-22 04:22:21 PM  

marius2: Ugh, you guys just don't understand. Satan can't understand her when she sings in tongue.

I mean, God can't either, but that's not the point.


Be sure to drink your Ovaltine? Son of a biatch!
 
2014-01-22 05:20:47 PM  
I remember some comedian used to talk about prank-calling one of the sketchier televangelists who used to speak in tongues (I think it was the Farting Preacher guy), by pledging a huge donation and getting the person on the line really excited, to the point they'd sometimes put him on the air with the actual televangelist.  Then when asked for his payment information, he'd start babbling in tongues, and said, "Yeah, ask the Rev.  If he's not a fraud, he can translate it."
 
2014-01-22 05:25:22 PM  
She belongs in a mental ward, but I guess the Alaska senate chamber is close enough.
 
2014-01-22 05:31:11 PM  

Sgt Otter: I remember some comedian used to talk about prank-calling one of the sketchier televangelists who used to speak in tongues (I think it was the Farting Preacher guy), by pledging a huge donation and getting the person on the line really excited, to the point they'd sometimes put him on the air with the actual televangelist.  Then when asked for his payment information, he'd start babbling in tongues, and said, "Yeah, ask the Rev.  If he's not a fraud, he can translate it."


Robert Tilton. He used to speak in tongues all the time. I had a roommate who would call and demand to debate him. He had to call Tilton's show after someone at the 700 Club explained they were tiring of his calls, and referred to his full name and address. This was back before caller ID and way before the Google.
 
2014-01-22 05:37:11 PM  

Sgt Otter: I remember some comedian used to talk about prank-calling one of the sketchier televangelists who used to speak in tongues (I think it was the Farting Preacher guy), by pledging a huge donation and getting the person on the line really excited, to the point they'd sometimes put him on the air with the actual televangelist.  Then when asked for his payment information, he'd start babbling in tongues, and said, "Yeah, ask the Rev.  If he's not a fraud, he can translate it."


That takes waaaay to much effort.  I can LOL TROLL U with all of my politics tab alts.
 
2014-01-22 05:37:57 PM  
Still more coherent than Sarah Palin.
 
2014-01-22 05:46:05 PM  

what_now: Sgt Otter: I remember some comedian used to talk about prank-calling one of the sketchier televangelists who used to speak in tongues (I think it was the Farting Preacher guy), by pledging a huge donation and getting the person on the line really excited, to the point they'd sometimes put him on the air with the actual televangelist.  Then when asked for his payment information, he'd start babbling in tongues, and said, "Yeah, ask the Rev.  If he's not a fraud, he can translate it."

That takes waaaay to much effort.  I can LOL TROLL U with all of my politics tab alts.


Hey, this is the kind of shiat we had to do for fun before the internets.
 
2014-01-22 05:47:03 PM  

Nabb1: Robert Tilton.


Search YouTube for Robert Tilton Fart and you'll be on the floor laughing for hours..

Comedy gold!
 
2014-01-22 05:47:41 PM  
FTFA: One point of clarification: Speaking in tongues or singing in tongues is very valuable because the message cannot be understood by Satan," she continued. "But the Holy Spirit can use that message to bring deliverance, to bring clarity, to give discernment and words of wisdom and knowledge, and tongues is interpreted by a person who has the gift of interpretation.

I would like to see a scriptural citation for that. I'm somewhat familiar with Pentecostal gift theology and I don't recall any doctrine like this.
 
2014-01-22 05:50:35 PM  
How does one even sign in tongue. Does it look like you are having some kind of seizure?
Inquiring minds want to know...
 
2014-01-22 05:51:00 PM  

Somacandra: I would like to see a scriptural citation for that. I'm somewhat familiar with Pentecostal gift theology and I don't recall any doctrine like this.


I believe Paul has speaking in tongues as a gift of the spirit but there must also be an interpreter or something...
I think the derp has been in the Christians since the beginning.
 
2014-01-22 05:52:55 PM  

fusillade762: Still more coherent than Sarah Palin.



Brilliant.

/+1
 
2014-01-22 05:54:57 PM  
I got the impression that she just sang an extremely dirty joke in Elvish, then took another HUGE bong hit and laughed her ass off.
 
Bf+
2014-01-22 05:55:28 PM  

fusillade762: Still more coherent than Sarah Palin.


i20.photobucket.com

/Came here to post something similar.
//Yours was waaay better.
 
2014-01-22 05:55:33 PM  
Still not a farking instruction manual

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-22 05:55:47 PM  
i.imgur.com

Ack ack adack. Dack dack ah-ack.
 
2014-01-22 05:57:06 PM  
came here for clips of the farting preacher?
 
2014-01-22 05:57:36 PM  

b0rg9:

Ack ack adack. Dack dack ah-ack.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-22 06:02:15 PM  
scottthong.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-22 06:05:29 PM  

Somacandra: FTFA: One point of clarification: Speaking in tongues or singing in tongues is very valuable because the message cannot be understood by Satan," she continued. "But the Holy Spirit can use that message to bring deliverance, to bring clarity, to give discernment and words of wisdom and knowledge, and tongues is interpreted by a person who has the gift of interpretation.

I would like to see a scriptural citation for that. I'm somewhat familiar with Pentecostal gift theology and I don't recall any doctrine like this.


Isn't the whole purpose of speaking in tongues was that the new sect needed a way to communicate in different languages and God decided to give them a means to witness?
 
2014-01-22 06:08:04 PM  
Hmph, it all sounds like that to me.
 
2014-01-22 06:10:56 PM  

b0rg9: [i.imgur.com image 670x510]

Ack ack adack. Dack dack ah-ack.


i1126.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-22 06:12:12 PM  
When I think of all of the various splintered denominations, the speaking in tongues, the snake handling, the pomp and absurdity of old virgins dressed in robes and gold, and all the corruption and abuse...I have to wonder if Christianity has succeeded at all on its own merits and not just by being the most chameleon like religion that can bend and twist to be whatever people want.
 
2014-01-22 06:12:31 PM  
OK, someone correct me if I'm wrong or misremembering. From my Catholic school days, I recall the Apostles being given the 'gift of tongues', so that no matter where they went, whoever they spoke to would be able to understand them. So how did 'everyone can understand you' become 'gibberish'?
 
2014-01-22 06:15:26 PM  

Arachnophobe: OK, someone correct me if I'm wrong or misremembering. From my Catholic school days, I recall the Apostles being given the 'gift of tongues', so that no matter where they went, whoever they spoke to would be able to understand them. So how did 'everyone can understand you' become 'gibberish'?


Easy.

Religion can make up anything it wants to.
 
2014-01-22 06:17:46 PM  
 
2014-01-22 06:18:36 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: Somacandra: I would like to see a scriptural citation for that. I'm somewhat familiar with Pentecostal gift theology and I don't recall any doctrine like this.

I believe Paul has speaking in tongues as a gift of the spirit but there must also be an interpreter or something...
I think the derp has been in the Christians since the beginning.


Yep. Without an interpreter it shouldn't be considered to be from god. Or God. Or G-d. Or JHVH-1. Or whatever that guy has on his business card these days.
 
2014-01-22 06:20:33 PM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-01-22 06:22:00 PM  

Lenny_da_Hog: Arachnophobe: OK, someone correct me if I'm wrong or misremembering. From my Catholic school days, I recall the Apostles being given the 'gift of tongues', so that no matter where they went, whoever they spoke to would be able to understand them. So how did 'everyone can understand you' become 'gibberish'?

Easy.

Religion can make up anything it wants to.


the Bible is like Calvinball in print
 
2014-01-22 06:25:59 PM  
1 Corinthians 14:

6 Now, brothers, 1 if I come to you speaking in tongues, how will I benefit you unless I bring you some y revelation or knowledge or prophecy or z teaching? 7 If even lifeless instruments, such as the flute or the harp, do not give distinct notes, how will anyone know what is played? 8 And a if the bugle gives an indistinct sound, who will get ready for battle? 9 So with yourselves, if with your tongue you utter speech that is not intelligible, how will anyone know what is said? For you will be b speaking into the air.
 
2014-01-22 06:26:49 PM  
Republican congressional candidate akskakak sheelalala poronioni porshgard schnabeltier babablakshep


akskakak sheelalala poronioni porshgard schnabeltier babablakshep 2016!
 
2014-01-22 06:29:47 PM  
What the hell am I watching?  Why would you video yourself behind the door of a steam room?  This is the first time in my life I've felt like Jackie Chan.
 
2014-01-22 06:31:21 PM  
The correct answer is, "the larch"
 
2014-01-22 06:31:50 PM  
Oh look, WrongStory has a piece on some random nutbag who's at sub-asterisk level in the GOP field. I look forward to their articles on the antics of the left-wing nobodies who are  running as well.
 
2014-01-22 06:39:18 PM  

jjorsett: Oh look, WrongStory has a piece on some random nutbag who's at sub-asterisk level in the GOP field. I look forward to their articles on the antics of the left-wing nobodies who are  running as well.


Megatroll is trolling
 
2014-01-22 06:39:22 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqaKi9NTzS4  i need  GoP for my bunghole!
 
2014-01-22 06:45:56 PM  

jjorsett: Oh look, WrongStory has a piece on some random nutbag who's at sub-asterisk level in the GOP field. I look forward to their articles on the antics of the left-wing nobodies who are  running as well.


why would you look forward to such things?
 
2014-01-22 06:48:33 PM  
I've seen enough of those Alaska Gold and Yukon and other shows to know that if you live in Alaska, you probably aren't all there in the head.
 
2014-01-22 06:51:02 PM  
I had a girl in my high school choir class who'd talk in tongues if she was "struck with the ghost" or whatever she called it (15 years ago, so cut me some slack).  Apparently "Ave Maria" was a trigger.

Good times.
 
2014-01-22 06:51:02 PM  
Sure it's not demonic possession?
 
2014-01-22 06:53:49 PM  
This lady wants to be put in charge of important things, and a number of people think that that is a good idea.

This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2014-01-22 06:54:19 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-22 06:56:56 PM  
Do not stick your dick in crazy.
 
2014-01-22 07:03:51 PM  
Chacka when the walls fell!
 
2014-01-22 07:31:53 PM  

Somacandra: FTFA: One point of clarification: Speaking in tongues or singing in tongues is very valuable because the message cannot be understood by Satan," she continued. "But the Holy Spirit can use that message to bring deliverance, to bring clarity, to give discernment and words of wisdom and knowledge, and tongues is interpreted by a person who has the gift of interpretation.

I would like to see a scriptural citation for that. I'm somewhat familiar with Pentecostal gift theology and I don't recall any doctrine like this.


Surely you aren't suggesting she just made that up?!?
 
2014-01-22 07:33:35 PM  

muck1969: [img.fark.net image 500x255]


Winner is you
 
2014-01-22 07:36:24 PM  
Republican congressional candidate caught sayof.
 
2014-01-22 07:48:47 PM  

Isitoveryet: jjorsett: Oh look, WrongStory has a piece on some random nutbag who's at sub-asterisk level in the GOP field. I look forward to their articles on the antics of the left-wing nobodies who are  running as well.

why would you look forward to such things?


As i've mentioned elsewhere, conservatives are desperate to find a liberal sarah palin.

/were'nt warren
//ain't davis
///whaarrgarbl
 
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