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(Gizmodo)   One new nuclear attack submarine only, Vasili   (sploid.gizmodo.com) divider line 52
    More: Cool, nuclear attack submarines, tactical nuclear weapon, Russian Navy  
•       •       •

10102 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2014 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-22 09:23:07 AM  
Hope they like our new rock and roll while conducting their mishiles drills.
 
2014-01-22 09:56:22 AM  
I would like to have seen Montana...
 
2014-01-22 09:59:48 AM  
What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...
 
2014-01-22 10:03:36 AM  
He didn't slip on his tea did he?
 
2014-01-22 10:03:56 AM  
The library includes an ancient Hindu text, quoted by an American.
 
2014-01-22 10:04:03 AM  
Time to get the Glomar back on contract, she will have a new pick-up soon.
 
2014-01-22 10:06:24 AM  

BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...


They're shark-tubes. They shoot sharks with torpedoes in their mouths and when they bark they shoot torpedoes at you.
 
2014-01-22 10:12:19 AM  
Designed in the 70s, supposed to be operational at the turn of the century, and only now taking to the water?

I'm not sure the author of TFA can really say "If there's one thing the Russians do well, it's nuclear submarines" with that as the track record for this one. Moreover, there's their history of sending them out and them not coming back. They can build solid boats, but I'm not sure we can really say Russia does nuke subs all THAT well. I'm sure Russia needs some new subs. I'm not sure at all that this will give ours anything to worry about.
 
2014-01-22 10:17:08 AM  

MithrandirBooga: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

They're shark-tubes. They shoot sharks with torpedoes in their mouths and when they bark they shoot torpedoes at you.


Could you even launch shark torpedoes horizontally?
 
2014-01-22 10:21:48 AM  

BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...


Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?
 
2014-01-22 10:22:32 AM  
Rumor is just building the first two cost them in the neighborhood of 200 billion.  And the things were born obsolete when compared to today's modern nuclear navy.
 
2014-01-22 10:26:01 AM  
PING

www.spygun.com
 
2014-01-22 10:27:13 AM  

inglixthemad: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?


Sure.  Why would you want to?
 
2014-01-22 10:27:15 AM  

Interesting fact on the boomer fleet out of Bremerton, WA. They used to have a webcam on the Hood Canal floating bridge. Whenever the bridge opened, the camera would go off. Well, they found out that when the damn thing went off, a good percentage of the time it was a boomer either coming in or deploying on a mission. They finally turned it off.




navy.memorieshop.com
 
2014-01-22 10:37:29 AM  
"Now that I know what to listen for? I'll bag him, sir."
Crazy Ivan!
Right or left?
 
2014-01-22 10:38:34 AM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-22 10:43:17 AM  
You arrogant ass.

You've killed us!
 
2014-01-22 10:55:17 AM  

BigLuca: inglixthemad: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?

Sure.  Why would you want to?


They're... They're symmetrical.  This could be a caterpillar.
 
2014-01-22 11:08:02 AM  

Stile4aly: BigLuca: inglixthemad: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?

Sure.  Why would you want to?

They're... They're symmetrical.  This could be a caterpillar.


A what?
 
2014-01-22 11:10:46 AM  
But don't let those delays fool you. If there's something the Russians do well, that's nuclear submarines.

The K-141 begs to differ
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-22 11:16:35 AM  

BigLuca: Stile4aly: BigLuca: inglixthemad: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?

Sure.  Why would you want to?

They're... They're symmetrical.  This could be a caterpillar.

A what?


Magneto-hydrodynamic drive.  You follow?
 
2014-01-22 11:18:22 AM  
i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-22 11:20:35 AM  

Stile4aly: BigLuca: Stile4aly: BigLuca: inglixthemad: BigLuca: What are those doors?  They're too big to be torpedo tubes...

Can you launch an ICBM horizontally?

Sure.  Why would you want to?

They're... They're symmetrical.  This could be a caterpillar.

A what?

Magneto-hydrodynamic drive.  You follow?


It's like a jet engine for the water, only with no moving parts so it's very quiet.

/gah, to think I remember that
 
2014-01-22 11:23:50 AM  
Like how quiet?

Doubtful our sonar'd even pick it up. And if it did, it'd sound like...whales humping, or some sort of seismic anomaly - anything but a submarine.  We messed with this a few years ago, couldn't make it work.  They..really built this? It isn't a mock-up, or anything?

She put to sea this morning.

/From memory
//Still my favorite movie of all time
 
2014-01-22 11:28:28 AM  

MythDragon: But don't let those delays fool you. If there's something the Russians do well, that's nuclear submarines.

The K-141 begs to differ
[upload.wikimedia.org image 600x385]


I thought it was have a plan.  Don't Russians always have a plan?
 
2014-01-22 11:40:14 AM  

MadManMoon: Like how quiet?

Doubtful our sonar'd even pick it up. And if it did, it'd sound like...whales humping, or some sort of seismic anomaly - anything but a submarine.  We messed with this a few years ago, couldn't make it work.  They..really built this? It isn't a mock-up, or anything?

She put to sea this morning.

/From memory
//Still my favorite movie of all time


(might as well finish the scene)

When I was I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. This thing could park a couple of hundred warheads off Washington and New York, and no one would know anything about it until it was all over.
 
2014-01-22 11:41:18 AM  
The new START agreement between Russia and USA does, however, not include long-range cruise missiles into account, a fact said to weaken the deal.

That sentence was painful.

The new START agreement between Russia and USA does, however, not include long-range cruise missiles into account, a fact said to weeken the deal.

There, much better.
 
2014-01-22 11:42:21 AM  

ciberido: MythDragon: But don't let those delays fool you. If there's something the Russians do well, that's nuclear submarines.

The K-141 begs to differ
[upload.wikimedia.org image 600x385]

I thought it was have a plan.   Don't Russians always have a plan?


They don't take a dump without one.
 
2014-01-22 11:52:41 AM  
Y'know, I seen me a mermaid once. I even seen me a shark eat an octopus. But I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine.
 
2014-01-22 11:54:15 AM  

akula: Designed in the 70s, supposed to be operational at the turn of the century, and only now taking to the water?

I'm not sure the author of TFA can really say "If there's one thing the Russians do well, it's nuclear submarines" with that as the track record for this one. Moreover, there's their history of sending them out and them not coming back. They can build solid boats, but I'm not sure we can really say Russia does nuke subs all THAT well. I'm sure Russia needs some new subs. I'm not sure at all that this will give ours anything to worry about.


And the good ones were loud.  The only good submarine is one we can't find.
 
2014-01-22 11:58:30 AM  

StrikitRich: Y'know, I seen me a mermaid once. I even seen me a shark eat an octopus. But I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine.


Pavarotti!!!!
 
2014-01-22 12:16:45 PM  

ToastmasterGeneral: akula: Designed in the 70s, supposed to be operational at the turn of the century, and only now taking to the water?

I'm not sure the author of TFA can really say "If there's one thing the Russians do well, it's nuclear submarines" with that as the track record for this one. Moreover, there's their history of sending them out and them not coming back. They can build solid boats, but I'm not sure we can really say Russia does nuke subs all THAT well. I'm sure Russia needs some new subs. I'm not sure at all that this will give ours anything to worry about.

And the good ones were loud.  The only good submarine is one we can't find.


In TFA someone posted a list of all the Russian sub disasters.

Does this one react well to bullets?
 
2014-01-22 12:19:59 PM  
Andrei, you've lost another submarine?
 
2014-01-22 12:27:46 PM  

dewright_ca: Time to get the Glomar back on contract, she will have a new pick-up soon.


dammit man, you broke the chain of quotes. reference is cute.
 
2014-01-22 12:34:03 PM  
APPROVES:
brightcove04.o.brightcove.com
 
2014-01-22 12:35:01 PM  

Tobin_Lam: The new START agreement between Russia and USA does, however, not include long-range cruise missiles into account, a fact said to weaken the deal.

That sentence was painful.

The new START agreement between Russia and USA does, however, not include long-range cruise missiles into account, a fact said to weeken the deal.

There, much better.


www.screenused.com

'You'll receive the Order of Lenin for this.'
 
2014-01-22 12:40:24 PM  
He would of loved to be disappointed...by Montana.

/at least he got to see dinosaurs
//and time travel for one season
 
2014-01-22 12:41:44 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
The really funny/sad/ironic part is, this rooskie sub was probably built around  25 year old secrets that this scumbag traitor gave to them.  I hope he rots in hell.
 
2014-01-22 01:00:35 PM  
I'd hoped they'd go a la Star Trek and name him the Kursk-B.

/I read somewhere Russian naval tradition is to refer to their ships as masculine but I may be wrong.
 
2014-01-22 01:47:08 PM  
I'm going to live in Montana and marry a round American wife and raise rabbits. And I will have a pickup truck and a recreational vehicle and drive from state to state. You can do that, no papers?

No papers, Vasily.
 
2014-01-22 02:29:45 PM  
Some of the military blogs/news sources I peruse do not give it high marks.
 
2014-01-22 03:02:27 PM  
Con sonar!  Crazy Ivan!!
 
2014-01-22 04:48:35 PM  
I love submarines. Stubborn bunch of Russkies, though. They should have scrapped and started this thing over a long time ago. It's hideously obsolete already. Meanwhile, the Virginia-class, despite the F-35 levels of bloat and clusterfark that the production went through, is a hell of a boat.

They've always done aircraft better than the U.S., though (IMHO, operational practicality is important).
 
2014-01-22 05:10:32 PM  
I see nothing "Cool" about Pooty-Poot having another weapon to threaten the United States with....
 
2014-01-22 05:49:48 PM  

Alexei Novikov: I love submarines. Stubborn bunch of Russkies, though. They should have scrapped and started this thing over a long time ago. It's hideously obsolete already. Meanwhile, the Virginia-class, despite the F-35 levels of bloat and clusterfark that the production went through, is a hell of a boat.

They've always done aircraft better than the U.S., though (IMHO, operational practicality is important).


Seawolf was too expensive for some reason, so they deployed a "cheaper" design.

Not to say that it's not a superlative boat, now. It took a while to get there.

American design of aircraft- make the leading edge of the wing last a very long time.

Russian design- use replaceable leading edge on the wing, with really insanely cheap replacements.

American Design- Use a Ferrari to go to space

Russian design- Use a dump truck.

American Design- Have a reliable backup generator with spare parts

Russian Design- Three backup generators, with a warehouse of extra generators somewhere, which also share parts with tanks.

American design-Long service life

Russian design- Finite short service life, you can always make more. The important thing is to keep people working so they don't make trouble.
 
2014-01-22 06:51:49 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: The really funny/sad/ironic part is, this rooskie sub was probably built around  25 year old secrets that this scumbag traitor gave to them.  I hope he rots in hell.


He should have been shot on the whitehouse lawn.
 
2014-01-22 08:08:45 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 311x400]
The really funny/sad/ironic part is, this rooskie sub was probably built around  25 year old secrets that this scumbag traitor gave to them.  I hope he rots in hell.


Yeah, well, in the end what does it really matter?  The Soviet Union is gone and their sub fleet is a shadow of what it once was.  Their most modern boats probably don't come close to their western counterparts and since the fall of the Iron Curtain their greatest leaps forward in subs is probably as the result of the import of computers and high tech milling machines.

How do you feel about Toshiba?  It sold the Soviets milling machines that allowed the Soviets to mill screws that caused less cavitation and were therefore quieter than what the Soviets were previously capable of.
 
2014-01-22 08:24:08 PM  

rattchett: Lt. Cheese Weasel: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 311x400]
The really funny/sad/ironic part is, this rooskie sub was probably built around  25 year old secrets that this scumbag traitor gave to them.  I hope he rots in hell.

Yeah, well, in the end what does it really matter?  The Soviet Union is gone and their sub fleet is a shadow of what it once was.  Their most modern boats probably don't come close to their western counterparts and since the fall of the Iron Curtain their greatest leaps forward in subs is probably as the result of the import of computers and high tech milling machines.

How do you feel about Toshiba?  It sold the Soviets milling machines that allowed the Soviets to mill screws that caused less cavitation and were therefore quieter than what the Soviets were previously capable of.


That is a tough one. Given their inability to manufacture enough microwave ovens and clothes dryers for their people, one could be reasonably assured of their incompetence to upgrading their boomers and hunters to compete with Uncle Sam. However, there is always the outlier and rogue agenda.  I think we should keep an eye on ole Pooty Poot.
 
2014-01-22 08:25:10 PM  

kingdd: Lt. Cheese Weasel: The really funny/sad/ironic part is, this rooskie sub was probably built around  25 year old secrets that this scumbag traitor gave to them.  I hope he rots in hell.

He should have been shot on the whitehouse lawn.


I would have bought tickets, and a t-shirt.
 
2014-01-22 08:55:49 PM  

Skunkwolf: Seawolf was too expensive for some reason, so they deployed a "cheaper" design.


By the time they had the Virginia class ready to go, while it was still cheaper than the Seawolfs, it isn't THAT much cheaper. And some capability was traded away for that too.

It probably won't matter in the long run, but for now it just looks like a penny-wise and pound-foolish decision.

I'm still wondering if we don't need some rather smaller AIP/electric subs to augment the nuclear boats for use in shallow and restricted waters, but I'm hardly an expert anyway.
 
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