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(Time)   Mozzarella is bad and you should feel bad for enjoying it   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 50
    More: Obvious, Cheddar, American Eats  
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15154 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2014 at 12:47 AM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-22 12:52:13 AM
6 votes:

rohar: fark all of you.  I've been making my own mozz since before mozz was cool!

/seriously, I make my own
//wife owns a dairy breading heard, WTF are you gonna do with all that milk?


After you've breaded them, do you deep-fry or bake? What sort of sauce do you serve with them?
2014-01-22 12:53:00 AM
4 votes:

chitownmike: Mentat: These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.

I am glad you are happy eating shiat food, good for you


Go fark yourself hipster.
2014-01-22 12:51:19 AM
4 votes:
Mozzarella is awesome anyone that says otherwise is a heretic and probably weighs the same as a duck
2014-01-22 10:21:46 AM
3 votes:

E5bie: I was raised on bulk tubs of PLAIN yogurt, which we kids were allowed to sweeten ourselves, but moderately, under close supervision.


"Careful. Carrrrrefulllll. Not too mu-DAMMIT YOU PUT IN TOO MUCH! YOU'RE NOT MY SON I HATE YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!!"
2014-01-22 02:18:56 AM
3 votes:

arentol: And if you are ever in Lynnwood Washington don't stop in at Sparta's Pizza. They use real and fresh (made in the last 24-48 hours) mozzarella and put it on properly... Non-grated (It looks that way to me anyway), thick enough to actually taste and enjoy, and cooked to a nice golden-brown for even more flavor. See pics below for an idea of what I am talking about....


FTFY.
2014-01-22 01:09:05 AM
3 votes:
Klattu burrata nicto?
2014-01-22 12:52:44 AM
3 votes:
your blog sucks
2014-01-22 12:10:43 AM
3 votes:
No.  Casu Marzu is the worst cheese ever, followed closely by Limburger, and aged Havarti.

Mozzarella is good, but don't buy the shredded stuff unless you are seriously, seriously pressed for time, and in that case, just order pizza and spare yourself the mess.

Wait, why the fark do I care about what other people are eating again?
2014-01-22 12:10:04 AM
3 votes:
These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.
2014-01-22 09:42:45 AM
2 votes:
My preferred cheese/beer/coffee/chocolate/etc. is so much better than your preferred one that it makes yours seem worse than garbage. That definitively proves that I am better than you in every way. In fact, you should probably just kill yourself now and save yourself the torture of living an entire lifetime eating/drinking nothing but that inedible swill that you somehow manage to shovel down your craw.
2014-01-22 08:39:47 AM
2 votes:
Stopped reading snobby, pretentious hipster article when I saw that the author doesn't know what the word "literally" means.
2014-01-22 01:43:15 AM
2 votes:
I have never taken any advice, ever, from a guy named Kyle, and I don't plan on ever doing so.
2014-01-22 01:32:14 AM
2 votes:
In other words,
img.fark.net
2014-01-22 01:24:26 AM
2 votes:
I don't care how farking runny it is, fetch it hither with all speed.
2014-01-22 01:17:23 AM
2 votes:
I remember just a few years ago when people were ok with not being pseudo-aficionados about the peripheral banalities of life. Now thanks to the internet, anyone can google "mozzarella cheese" and then memorize a few subjective factoids about it's history and regurgitate them as though they're a distinguished cheese connisuer.

/bonus douchey points for saying "motsa-rell"
2014-01-22 01:06:59 AM
2 votes:

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.


Don't be silly, Velveeta is made of orphaned babies.
2014-01-22 01:03:33 AM
2 votes:
Well, I'm out. There is no difference between Reddit and Fark at this point.
2014-01-22 12:56:43 AM
2 votes:
Buffalo mozzarella, fresh, in bags of water, is farking sublime.  And fark whoever wrote TFA for not mentioning pecorino romano as one of the great hard cheeses.

/Half Italian
//Live in Wisco.
///You're damn right I like my cheese.
2014-01-22 12:53:15 AM
2 votes:
I suppose those individually wrapped sticks that I eat are bad? Well, boo-hoo
2014-01-22 12:51:49 AM
2 votes:

Gyrfalcon: Cheese Nazis. nachos


FTF the super bowl.
2014-01-22 12:50:31 AM
2 votes:
Cheese Nazis.
2014-01-22 12:12:42 AM
2 votes:
Got one of these from my aunt for Christmas this year:

ecx.images-amazon.com

It wasn't until I opened the box that I noticed that the "cheddar" "cheese" is actually labeled "Cheddar Flavor Pasteurized Process Cheese Food". And that the damn block is only about 1/4" thick.


They make foodies cry.

Good.
2014-01-22 08:46:26 PM
1 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: Mozzarella is awesome.  Therefor subby and article author can go fark themselves.

Man, now I want a prosciutto and mozzarella sandwich on a baguette.  With some red wine vinegar and olive oil.  Maybe some red peppers.  And water crest or spinach.


HA! You almost fooled us. But it's 'waterCRESS', not 'water crest'.

YOU EAT GAS STATION HOT DOGS AND YOU LIKE IT!!!!!
2014-01-22 10:56:36 AM
1 votes:
Lack a worthwhile skill-set or any measurable achievements to date, but are still dying to be a condescending little prick?

"Foodie" blogging is the answer.
2014-01-22 10:48:20 AM
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Every week we do some variation of this.  Shiatfood is mocked, and shiatfood lovers rush in to tell us how much they don't care.

See you all next week where you can remind everyone for the 500th time just how much you don't care.


Go fark yourself hipster.
2014-01-22 10:05:42 AM
1 votes:
"Foodie" = "Douchebag"
2014-01-22 10:05:36 AM
1 votes:
The author of TFA couldn't have come across as more of a coont if the entire article consisted of "I am a coont" written over and over again.
2014-01-22 08:31:35 AM
1 votes:
What a bunch of mooks. Are your taste buds that primitive that you only have room in your heart for one favorite cheese?

img.fark.net
2014-01-22 06:34:40 AM
1 votes:

CygnusDarius: ciberido: Farker Soze: I only partake in Venezuelan beaver cheese.

Not today, sir, no.

How about Cheddar?


Not much call for it, round these parts.
2014-01-22 04:53:27 AM
1 votes:
I prefer another type of cheese, which I sincerely doubt that any of you farking philistines have ever heard of.

You could ask me what it is, but it's not my job to educate you, cheeselord.

/ tip: it's not cheese that comes from a cow or a goat
// think smaller, and more legs
2014-01-22 03:48:13 AM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-22 03:37:02 AM
1 votes:

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: Wow, Fark ate the link.  I'm talking about this.

[www.widmerscheese.com image 450x450]


My grandma was from Copenhagen and taught my brother and I how to eat limburgher at a young age. Dark Rye, a slice of sweet onion and a hearty spread of this cheese is heaven (once you know how to get it past the sinuses).
2014-01-22 03:29:28 AM
1 votes:
Jeez, some Park Slope hipster yambag writes a freelance article for Time, and everybody loses their bowels.

I only read Time for the Swimsuit Edition.
2014-01-22 03:16:33 AM
1 votes:

rosekolodny: How is it that a person can get paid to write an article that has neither a beginning, a middle, nor an end?  This "article" looks more like the notes I would take before sitting down to craft something intelligible.

I agree.

Also, it is important that everyone go get a bad-ass slice of sourdough and cover it with gouda.  Put it in the toaster oven until everything is gooey and beginning to brown on the corners.  Cover that with avocado slices and stone-ground mustard.  Eat, then roll around on the floor making happy noises for a while.

Can't get sourdough in Monterey. Will substitute fresh baguette. Maybe add pickled roasted red pepper.
img.fark.net
2014-01-22 02:48:16 AM
1 votes:

Farker Soze: I only partake in Venezuelan beaver cheese.


She should really be more mindful of personal hygiene. Unless you're into that kind of thing. I won't judge.
2014-01-22 02:44:14 AM
1 votes:
There are three levels of non-academic criticism. They are, in order of abrasiveness:

1) Personal on the part of the critic. "I don't like this."

2) Generalization. "this is bad."

3) Personal attack/telling you what to do. "you shouldn't like this."

3+) Openly insulting your taste and telling you what to do. "You shouldn't like the foods you like, eat this instead. What do you mean you can't afford artisanal cheese? fark you, peasant."

Food people always, always always go for 3 or 3+. Car people aren't this bad because the cost of collecting is a trusty gatekeeper. Fashion people kind of are, but we've known for decades they're vapid, shallow twats, and those of us who aren't recognize clothing-as-personal statement/status symbol as an opt-in activity. But no, it's something about the fact that everyone eats and drinks that makes that particular sphere into a Tournament of Dickbags- that magical contest of trivia and elitism.
2014-01-22 02:35:19 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: super_grass: Nope nope nope.

I farking live processed cheese. That neon-yellow crap they serve on nachos and Totino's party pizzas? LOVE IT

[thoroughlymediocre.com image 800x600]

/in moderation of course

Totino's is a guilty pleasure for me. I think it's because I grew up on them. That and they're like a buck each.


Straight up 2% 'American' cheese slices on grilled cheese. That's it though, all other cheese is either fancy, or a product of 'damn it, I should have had dinner in the oven half an hour ago'.
2014-01-22 02:18:41 AM
1 votes:
Nope nope nope.

I farking live processed cheese. That neon-yellow crap they serve on nachos and Totino's party pizzas? LOVE IT

thoroughlymediocre.com

/in moderation of course
2014-01-22 02:10:13 AM
1 votes:
I only partake in Venezuelan beaver cheese.
2014-01-22 02:10:04 AM
1 votes:
Cheesus Christ, dudes a renet sucking culture snob.

/cheese puns
//cheddar late than never.
///"Americans eat 30 pounds of cheese each year", Ida thunk a country as big as this, it'd be way more.
2014-01-22 02:08:21 AM
1 votes:
No.

F*ck you.
2014-01-22 01:40:01 AM
1 votes:
2014-01-22 01:26:32 AM
1 votes:
excuse me, is this where I make a dick cheese joke?
2014-01-22 01:20:01 AM
1 votes:
Well, I'm lactose intolerant, so I do feel bad when I enjoy mozzarella subby. Also, aged gouda. Sweet, sweet, aged gouda. Damn you subby!
2014-01-22 01:11:06 AM
1 votes:
I only buy Havarti made by Arla foods after people got pissed off at the Danes for the bomb hat Mohammed cartoon & started a boycott.
2014-01-22 01:11:03 AM
1 votes:

blacksharpiemarker: Sadly, I'm certain most Americans haven't tasted what true, fresh, mozzarella is.


I am from SoCal, we had the best Mexican bathtub cheese.
2014-01-22 01:03:00 AM
1 votes:
OMG,,,,,,are the Italians insane? Don't click this link if you like cheese......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu
2014-01-22 12:59:14 AM
1 votes:
yaakkk .... I hate that
2014-01-22 12:54:17 AM
1 votes:

Prof. Frink: rohar: fark all of you.  I've been making my own mozz since before mozz was cool!

/seriously, I make my own
//wife owns a dairy breading heard, WTF are you gonna do with all that milk?

After you've breaded them, do you deep-fry or bake? What sort of sauce do you serve with them?


You can't deep fry dairy goat.  They're too tough.  You gotta cook them low and slow.
2014-01-22 12:37:38 AM
1 votes:
Stupid farking article.  If it's not mozzarella di buffala da Mondragone, it isn't farking mozzarella.  The shiat they're talking about is standard American plastic food--all colors and "flavors" being equally garbage.

Processed shiat is processed shiat.

Mozzarella is heaven.

Know the difference you worthless assholes.

/rant.
 
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