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(Time)   Mozzarella is bad and you should feel bad for enjoying it   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 220
    More: Obvious, Cheddar, American Eats  
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15154 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2014 at 12:47 AM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



220 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-22 12:10:04 AM
These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.
 
2014-01-22 12:10:43 AM
No.  Casu Marzu is the worst cheese ever, followed closely by Limburger, and aged Havarti.

Mozzarella is good, but don't buy the shredded stuff unless you are seriously, seriously pressed for time, and in that case, just order pizza and spare yourself the mess.

Wait, why the fark do I care about what other people are eating again?
 
2014-01-22 12:11:24 AM
They talk about Mozzarella and preground Mozza and Cheddar.  For me there is something fantastic about freshly shredded cheddar.  I don't know if there is an oxidation thing that is happening with freshly shredded cheddar but it is one of my favourite cheese experiences.
 
2014-01-22 12:12:42 AM
Got one of these from my aunt for Christmas this year:

ecx.images-amazon.com

It wasn't until I opened the box that I noticed that the "cheddar" "cheese" is actually labeled "Cheddar Flavor Pasteurized Process Cheese Food". And that the damn block is only about 1/4" thick.


They make foodies cry.

Good.
 
2014-01-22 12:37:38 AM
Stupid farking article.  If it's not mozzarella di buffala da Mondragone, it isn't farking mozzarella.  The shiat they're talking about is standard American plastic food--all colors and "flavors" being equally garbage.

Processed shiat is processed shiat.

Mozzarella is heaven.

Know the difference you worthless assholes.

/rant.
 
2014-01-22 12:50:02 AM

meat0918: Wait, why the fark do I care about what other people are eating again?


So you can look down your hipster nose at others while stroking your ironic beard & trendy geeky chic-y glasses?
 
2014-01-22 12:50:11 AM
fark all of you.  I've been making my own mozz since before mozz was cool!

/seriously, I make my own
//wife owns a dairy breading heard, WTF are you gonna do with all that milk?
 
2014-01-22 12:50:31 AM
Cheese Nazis.
 
2014-01-22 12:51:00 AM

Mentat: These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.


I am glad you are happy eating shiat food, good for you
 
2014-01-22 12:51:19 AM
Mozzarella is awesome anyone that says otherwise is a heretic and probably weighs the same as a duck
 
2014-01-22 12:51:49 AM

Gyrfalcon: Cheese Nazis. nachos


FTF the super bowl.
 
2014-01-22 12:52:03 AM
Never.
 
2014-01-22 12:52:13 AM

rohar: fark all of you.  I've been making my own mozz since before mozz was cool!

/seriously, I make my own
//wife owns a dairy breading heard, WTF are you gonna do with all that milk?


After you've breaded them, do you deep-fry or bake? What sort of sauce do you serve with them?
 
2014-01-22 12:52:44 AM
your blog sucks
 
2014-01-22 12:52:57 AM

legion_of_doo: meat0918: Wait, why the fark do I care about what other people are eating again?

So you can look down your hipster nose at others while stroking your ironic beard & trendy geeky chic-y glasses?


While I agree I look the part, I do nothing "ironically"
 
2014-01-22 12:53:00 AM

chitownmike: Mentat: These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.

I am glad you are happy eating shiat food, good for you


Go fark yourself hipster.
 
2014-01-22 12:53:15 AM
I suppose those individually wrapped sticks that I eat are bad? Well, boo-hoo
 
2014-01-22 12:54:17 AM

Prof. Frink: rohar: fark all of you.  I've been making my own mozz since before mozz was cool!

/seriously, I make my own
//wife owns a dairy breading heard, WTF are you gonna do with all that milk?

After you've breaded them, do you deep-fry or bake? What sort of sauce do you serve with them?


You can't deep fry dairy goat.  They're too tough.  You gotta cook them low and slow.
 
2014-01-22 12:54:39 AM
My favorite cheese...

www.madeinoregon.com
 
2014-01-22 12:56:43 AM
Buffalo mozzarella, fresh, in bags of water, is farking sublime.  And fark whoever wrote TFA for not mentioning pecorino romano as one of the great hard cheeses.

/Half Italian
//Live in Wisco.
///You're damn right I like my cheese.
 
2014-01-22 12:57:24 AM

Mentat: chitownmike: Mentat: These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.

I am glad you are happy eating shiat food, good for you

Go fark yourself hipster.


yeah, I heard you the first time
 
2014-01-22 12:58:57 AM
That article was bad and subby should feel bad for submitting it.

/not to mention whoever greened it
 
2014-01-22 12:59:14 AM
yaakkk .... I hate that
 
2014-01-22 01:00:44 AM

Worst Name I Ever Heard: That article was bad and subby should feel bad for submitting it.


More over The page title is different from the title above the content ... kind of misleading ....
 
2014-01-22 01:03:00 AM
OMG,,,,,,are the Italians insane? Don't click this link if you like cheese......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu
 
2014-01-22 01:03:04 AM
fark the USDA
 
2014-01-22 01:03:22 AM
Cheese thread needs Ash County NC Cheddar as a standard-bearer for delicious American cheese.

And really, who eats enough store- bought mozzarella to stress over the quality? I buy maybe one bag a year for the random homemade pizza. Fresh mozzarella balls from the olive bar at Kroger is a treat now and then. I consider myself lucky to enjoy that. I would be all over gourmet cheeses if I could travel these days like I used to. But I will still dig into some Velveeta/Rotel dip if I get a hankering.

/knows enough to be discriminating, but not a snob.
 
2014-01-22 01:03:33 AM
Well, I'm out. There is no difference between Reddit and Fark at this point.
 
2014-01-22 01:03:36 AM

chitownmike: Mentat: chitownmike: Mentat: These bags of pre-grated, fibrous strings of dairy-like substance that come dusted with preservatives are literally the devil. They make foodies cry. No one should ever be forgiven for buying them, and don't even ask about Kraft's green cylinders of atomized parmesan dust.

Go fark yourself hipster.

I am glad you are happy eating shiat food, good for you

Go fark yourself hipster.

yeah, I heard you the first time


He lives in Chicago, how "hip" can he be?
 
2014-01-22 01:04:34 AM
I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.
 
2014-01-22 01:05:29 AM
the writer is an unbearable dick, but I would kill certain members of my family for burrata. fortunately I can just buy it at the store.
 
2014-01-22 01:06:59 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.


Don't be silly, Velveeta is made of orphaned babies.
 
2014-01-22 01:07:27 AM
It does taste pretty bland, but so does almost all processed food. Does anyone eat it for the culinary experience, or because they need to insert organic material into the front of their head?
 
2014-01-22 01:09:05 AM
Klattu burrata nicto?
 
2014-01-22 01:09:16 AM
Sadly, I'm certain most Americans haven't tasted what true, fresh, mozzarella is.

Anyone soon visiting Italy, don't hesitate to try a plate of fresh mozzarella di bufula lightly drizzled with some olive oil before you leave. It's the food equivalent of crack. My blood itches at the thought of returning there for more. As you slice away at it, it has a semi-soft texture and oozes out droplets of fresh milk. It's absolutely delicious with a side of prosciutto, arugula, or sliced tomatoes.

s29.postimg.org
 
2014-01-22 01:10:33 AM

Shazam999: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.

Don't be silly, Velveeta is made of orphaned babies.


Let's put it this way... it's older than you think,  And the phrase "bacteria containment hold" is a thing.
 
2014-01-22 01:11:03 AM

blacksharpiemarker: Sadly, I'm certain most Americans haven't tasted what true, fresh, mozzarella is.


I am from SoCal, we had the best Mexican bathtub cheese.
 
2014-01-22 01:11:06 AM
I only buy Havarti made by Arla foods after people got pissed off at the Danes for the bomb hat Mohammed cartoon & started a boycott.
 
2014-01-22 01:13:21 AM
Why would anyone care what kind of cheese another person would eat? Very strange.
 
2014-01-22 01:13:25 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Shazam999: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.

Don't be silly, Velveeta is made of orphaned babies.

Let's put it this way... it's older than you think,  And the phrase "bacteria containment hold" is a thing.


That's why it's pasteurized a second (and third and fourth probably) time.
 
2014-01-22 01:15:28 AM

meat0918: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Shazam999: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I did a fair amount of work for one of the largest mozzarella manufacturers in the US (4 billion a year and they supply almost every major pizza company in the US).. They also supply Kraft for their Velveeta base cheese.  I had to sign a NDA but please please please never buy that stuff.  I am by no means healthy and not a food health nazi but if there is one thing Fark can do for you in your life... don't buy Velveeta.  It's a mozzarella base and it's beyond disgusting.

Don't be silly, Velveeta is made of orphaned babies.

Let's put it this way... it's older than you think,  And the phrase "bacteria containment hold" is a thing.

That's why it's pasteurized a second (and third and fourth probably) time.


It's still farking gross.
 
2014-01-22 01:15:28 AM
Used to buy balls of fresh mozzarella when I lived in Germany.  The cost the equivalent of about $1.50.  Same thing where I live here in the states dang near $6.00.  Absolutely ridiculous.  Needless to say I don't buy it often.  Also feta was about a buck for about an eight oz. block (approx).  Here I can only find tubs of pre crumbled junk for about 4 bucks for a very shallow tub.
 
2014-01-22 01:16:00 AM
Well, if it's going to make a foodie cry...I'll be stocking up on pre grated cheddar/mozzarella mix for my pizza.

Also, muenster is the best cheese ever. Period.
 
2014-01-22 01:17:23 AM
I remember just a few years ago when people were ok with not being pseudo-aficionados about the peripheral banalities of life. Now thanks to the internet, anyone can google "mozzarella cheese" and then memorize a few subjective factoids about it's history and regurgitate them as though they're a distinguished cheese connisuer.

/bonus douchey points for saying "motsa-rell"
 
2014-01-22 01:20:01 AM
Well, I'm lactose intolerant, so I do feel bad when I enjoy mozzarella subby. Also, aged gouda. Sweet, sweet, aged gouda. Damn you subby!
 
2014-01-22 01:24:26 AM
I don't care how farking runny it is, fetch it hither with all speed.
 
2014-01-22 01:24:35 AM

EmmaLou: Well, if it's going to make a foodie cry...I'll be stocking up on pre grated cheddar/mozzarella mix for my pizza.

Also, muenster is the best cheese ever. Period.


Yes, Muenster...and Havarti, and a nice runny brie, but I can't eat the moldy outside - allergic :(
 
2014-01-22 01:24:36 AM

blacksharpiemarker: Sadly, I'm certain most Americans haven't tasted what true, fresh, mozzarella is.

Anyone soon visiting Italy, don't hesitate to try a plate of fresh mozzarella di bufula lightly drizzled with some olive oil before you leave. It's the food equivalent of crack. My blood itches at the thought of returning there for more. As you slice away at it, it has a semi-soft texture and oozes out droplets of fresh milk. It's absolutely delicious with a side of prosciutto, arugula, or sliced tomatoes.

[s29.postimg.org image 850x569]


I will have to second that.

/loves me some proscuitto
//Wegman's FTW
 
2014-01-22 01:26:32 AM
excuse me, is this where I make a dick cheese joke?
 
2014-01-22 01:32:14 AM
In other words,
img.fark.net
 
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