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(UPI)   Man tells police how he was stripped, no, ROBBED and stripped by a pair of men--make that FOUR men--in the street or possibly the alleyway. Policeman sums up entire situation in four words: "Woman's boyfriend returned early"   (upi.com) divider line 34
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5976 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2014 at 9:03 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-21 07:51:08 PM
"Metts was having relations with [the woman]," police wrote in the report. "[The woman's] boyfriend arrived and caught them. [The boyfriend] then chased a half-naked Metts out of the house."

That's more than four words, subby.
 
2014-01-21 08:04:43 PM
Men tells police how he was stripped, no, ROBBED and stripped by a pair of men--make that FOUR men...

I'll come in again.
 
2014-01-21 08:10:45 PM
This kid had time to get his clothes on AND grab a tasty treat. What's this guy's excuse?

image.cdn.ispot.tv
 
2014-01-21 09:10:18 PM

jaylectricity: This kid had time to get his clothes on AND grab a tasty treat. What's this guy's excuse?


Boyfriends are faster than middle aged dads?
 
2014-01-21 09:11:54 PM
Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.
 
2014-01-21 09:13:33 PM
Would you believe...


www.wearysloth.com
 
2014-01-21 09:15:35 PM

jaylectricity: This kid had time to get his clothes on AND grab a tasty treat. What's this guy's excuse?


Done in three.

Really you think I want to say Sobe instead of done?
 
2014-01-21 09:15:41 PM
Why not just tell the truth in the first place? Oh, right, guy is a teenager.

/dumbass
 
2014-01-21 09:18:21 PM

BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.


This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.
 
2014-01-21 09:21:48 PM

buzzcut73: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.


That was you?  Oh, uh, sorry dude.  If it helps I only did it on a dare.
 
2014-01-21 09:25:20 PM
She said waylaid not laid, dude.
 
2014-01-21 09:26:49 PM

BumpInTheNight: buzzcut73: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.

That was you?  Oh, uh, sorry dude.  If it helps I only did it on a dare.


If that was you, I'm sorry for not chasing you out and instead opting to let you deal with that chick. That wasn't cool of me at all.
 
2014-01-21 09:30:33 PM

EdNortonsTwin: She said waylaid not laid, dude.


He was afraid of being melee'd.
 
2014-01-21 09:31:36 PM

buzzcut73: BumpInTheNight: buzzcut73: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.

That was you?  Oh, uh, sorry dude.  If it helps I only did it on a dare.

If that was you, I'm sorry for not chasing you out and instead opting to let you deal with that chick. That wasn't cool of me at all.


It's cool, man.  I and four of my friends and this guy Pete I met at the bowling alley were there to help out BumpInTheNight.
 
2014-01-21 09:37:02 PM

Satanic_Hamster: buzzcut73: BumpInTheNight: buzzcut73: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.

That was you?  Oh, uh, sorry dude.  If it helps I only did it on a dare.

If that was you, I'm sorry for not chasing you out and instead opting to let you deal with that chick. That wasn't cool of me at all.

It's cool, man.  I and four of my friends and this guy Pete I met at the bowling alley were there to help out BumpInTheNight.


I'm almost ashamed that it took me this long to get in touch with you.  I've been meaning to look you up and send you guys a portion of the money I've made from selling the video of you guys to various gay porn sites.
 
2014-01-21 09:40:46 PM

BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.


Know what? That is an excellent point.
 
2014-01-21 09:42:16 PM
False rape accusation of the man by the woman to save her relationship with the cuckold in 3...2...

/Oh, and I've seen this play out twice in the Air Force to two separate guys that were deployed
 
2014-01-21 09:42:41 PM

MrHappyRotter: Satanic_Hamster: buzzcut73: BumpInTheNight: buzzcut73: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.

Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.

That was you?  Oh, uh, sorry dude.  If it helps I only did it on a dare.

If that was you, I'm sorry for not chasing you out and instead opting to let you deal with that chick. That wasn't cool of me at all.

It's cool, man.  I and four of my friends and this guy Pete I met at the bowling alley were there to help out BumpInTheNight.

I'm almost ashamed that it took me this long to get in touch with you.  I've been meaning to look you up and send you guys a portion of the money I've made from selling the video of you guys to various gay porn sites.


Haha I bet the joke was on them once Buzzcut73's ex dropped trow and revealed there was in fact a vagina under all that!  I know I had to drink that image away pretty savagely the next morning.  But please, don't bring this up at the next PTA meeting, I really like driving the bus.
 
2014-01-21 09:44:33 PM
www.virtual-history.com

Shaheen Parvici: There has to be a catch. A... a trick. I do not trust your plan.

Ed: Well I think it's a very good plan. C'mon, time's running out. Escrow's closing.

Shaheen Parvici: Did Jack Caper tell you that?

Ed: Yes, that's right. I'm Jack's son.

Shaheen Parvici: His son!

Ed: Illegitimate, but some day it'll all be mine. You and I might be doing business, going out to lunch... all right, OK fine, I'm, I'll tell you the truth. Diana's CIA, I'm On Her Majesty's Secret Service, we've got the place surrounded... I'm really from Immigration, we thought you might have some illegal aliens working around here.

Shaheen Parvici: What are you playing at?

Ed: I apologize, I've been lying. I'm actually the chairman of the Committee to Reelect the President. I was hoping for a substantial contribution.

Shaheen Parvici: You are mad.

Ed: Now you don't know what to believe, do you?
 
2014-01-21 09:45:59 PM

jaylectricity: EdNortonsTwin: She said waylaid not laid, dude.

He was afraid of being melee'd.


/mele'd?

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-01-21 09:46:28 PM

BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.


It's obviously his fault that he did something wrong to make her cheat on him.  It's always the man's fault.  Didn't you get the memo?
 
2014-01-21 09:48:14 PM

MrHappyRotter: I'm almost ashamed that it took me this long to get in touch with you.  I've been meaning to look you up and send you guys a portion of the money I've made from selling the video of you guys to various gay porn sites.


Why would gay porn sites buy a video of six guys and a woman?  There weren't even balls touching.

i132.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-21 09:53:49 PM

Satanic_Hamster: MrHappyRotter: I'm almost ashamed that it took me this long to get in touch with you.  I've been meaning to look you up and send you guys a portion of the money I've made from selling the video of you guys to various gay porn sites.

Why would gay porn sites buy a video of six guys and a woman?  There weren't even balls touching.

[i132.photobucket.com image 800x535]


I want to party with the girl in the very front and center.
 
2014-01-21 09:59:31 PM

buzzcut73: This. I did that in a similar situation--walked into the house (hers, I had a key) and saw some half naked dude walking back toward the bedroom. I just called out "Hey, if you don't mind dropping my shiat off at my house later, that would be great" and left my key on the floor near the front door.
Now I COULD have raised a scene, but why even bother? Cut your losses and move on.


You don't want to be on Cheaters? You could be famous.
 
2014-01-21 10:05:05 PM
files.myopera.com
 
2014-01-21 10:05:14 PM
Why, no officer, of course I wasn't having relations with this woman. Why, I love my wife....Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that's it.
 
2014-01-21 10:19:03 PM

BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.


This.
 
2014-01-21 10:48:10 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This.


Well.. you should be able to get away with shooting them both and claiming temporary insanity.
Can you use the defense later if it happens with another woman?
 
2014-01-21 11:09:06 PM

Nutsac_Jim: The more you eat the more you fart: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This.

Well.. you should be able to get away with shooting them both and claiming temporary insanity.
Can you use the defense later if it happens with another woman?


So what you're saying is that we might see the cut of your jib on a mugshot roundup someday.
 
2014-01-21 11:11:12 PM
It was unclear Tuesday whether he would face charges for making up the robbery story.

Why would they charge him? This is probably the most hilarious thing the department's seen all year. They're probably going to be cracking jokes about his dumb ass for months. He should be getting the royal treatment.
 
2014-01-21 11:47:00 PM

jaylectricity: This kid had time to get his clothes on AND grab a tasty treat. What's this guy's excuse?

[image.cdn.ispot.tv image 850x477]


And that commercial finally played over here.

I swear the narrator says "YOUR" parents, not "HER" parents.
 
2014-01-22 12:32:22 AM

foxyshadis: He should be getting the royal treatment.


Treat him like a (Rodney) King?
 
2014-01-22 12:34:29 AM
Fark, you are slipping...

www.hotflick.net
 
2014-01-22 09:54:24 AM

Nutsac_Jim: The more you eat the more you fart: BigLuca: Why does the boyfriend always chase the guy out in these situations?  Chase the girlfriend out, that's the more permanent solution.

This.

Well.. you should be able to get away with shooting them both and claiming temporary insanity.
Can you use the defense later if it happens with another woman?


If you're in Florida, shoot the wife's lover and claim stand your ground.

I'm sure that one made Fark a while back, because the 70 year old dude shot his 41 year old wife's 32 year old lover and got away with it. Plus the money quote from the acquittal article: "Because my husband puts me first, he's taking me to the Waffle House."
 
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