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(Time)   If you have trouble dating, you may be in the 69 percent of people who can never tell whether they are on a date or just hanging out. But if you are in a 69, it's safe to assume you are   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 66
    More: Silly, dating  
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3312 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2014 at 6:37 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-21 06:40:30 PM
I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.
 
2014-01-21 06:40:32 PM
Are what?  On a date, or hanging out?
 
2014-01-21 06:42:30 PM

Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.


The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.
 
2014-01-21 06:44:14 PM
People go out one-on-one with a stranger of the opposite sex only hoping to hit it off as friends?
 
2014-01-21 06:44:57 PM
I am currently in a 69, so I'm getting a kick...

Actually, I am just giving a bj, I can't type and do the other.  Too distracting :-p
 
2014-01-21 06:47:44 PM
Your are what?
 
2014-01-21 06:48:57 PM
It began as a date.  It ended as just hanging out.
 
2014-01-21 06:49:43 PM
Can't I be in a 69 AND just hanging out?

He gets off, I get off... it's just mutual friendship.
 
2014-01-21 06:49:48 PM

GGracie: I am currently in a 69, so I'm getting a kick...

Actually, I am just giving a bj, I can't type and do the other.  Too distracting :-p


So your in a 68 don't for the +1 for later.
 
2014-01-21 06:50:08 PM

que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.


Men on online dating sites are pretty much like the produce section at the grocery store for women to pick through.
 
2014-01-21 06:51:29 PM
That's idiotic.  If you are single and the other person is single and you're asking them to go do something just by yourselves.... it's almost certainly a frigging date.

Even if it's not a formal date and it's sort of gray area, you and the other person are most definetly calculating privately in one's head whether they have any remote interest in going any further with you.
 
2014-01-21 06:52:05 PM
This isn't hard.

The first time you go out one on one it isn't a date unless you already know the person decently well. Otherwise it's a "can I even put up with this person"

After that, it's a date. I tend to me more explicit and flat out say "now I'm actually asking you out."

Communication people, communication.
 
2014-01-21 06:52:18 PM
that should be "deeply religious people unable to understand opposite sex" based on where the 'study' came from
 
2014-01-21 06:52:28 PM

Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.


At a bar you meet when she's already drunk. Your sober (or at least she is) when you meet the first time after an interweb introduction.
 
2014-01-21 06:53:05 PM

que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.


Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.
 
2014-01-21 06:53:23 PM

browntimmy: People Women go out one-on-one with a stranger of the opposite sex only hoping to hit it off as friends?.


FTFY
 
2014-01-21 06:53:27 PM

eas81: GGracie: I am currently in a 69, so I'm getting a kick...

Actually, I am just giving a bj, I can't type and do the other.  Too distracting :-p

So your in a 68 don't for the +1 for later.


Technically, a bj would be a 34.5
 
2014-01-21 06:56:53 PM

Oldiron_79: que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.

Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.


Don't give up buddy keep at it. You'll find a hottie soon enough.

/support ginger men so we can get more ginger women
//poor bastards
 
2014-01-21 06:57:14 PM

SirEattonHogg: That's idiotic.  If you are single and the other person is single and you're asking them to go do something just by yourselves.... it's almost certainly a frigging date.

Even if it's not a formal date and it's sort of gray area, you and the other person are most definetly calculating privately in one's head whether they have any remote interest in going any further with you.


There needs to be clear communication by both ends. I may think it's a date but she may think it's a free meal.
 
2014-01-21 07:02:11 PM
tichwi02: that should be "deeply religious people unable to understand opposite sex" based on where the 'study' came from

This.  If the study participants came from ChristianMingle and JDate, I can see why there is such a hang up on whether it's a date or not.  For many of us "hell bound" folks, we're not going to be as concerned as to whether we're on a date or not, and whether hanging out with someone suddenly ends up becoming physical/ more serious.

But for born-agains, which I assume make the bulk of ChristianMingle, "dating" is a big deal meaning you are possibly marriage material.  Just my .02
 
2014-01-21 07:02:38 PM
I've been with my SO for around four years, and while that's not very long in the grand scheme of things, I feel like I've forgotten how to date and have lost all my game. My only hope is that if she leaves me, it's because of some tragic accident resulting in her death, so at least I'll get some sympathy sex.
 
2014-01-21 07:05:59 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm in the 100th percentile of people who don't understand the damn headline.
 
2014-01-21 07:07:19 PM
Aar1012:
There needs to be clear communication by both ends. I may think it's a date but she may think it's a free meal.


Yes, but that's the scam.  She wouldn't tell you that's its not a date and she's only in it for the meal.  If someone told me it's not really a date then fine, we're going "dutch".

Maybe it's just my experience, but I've almost never had to be clear with someone that it's a "date".   The circumstances basically say it all - otherwise someone is being deceptive.
 
2014-01-21 07:08:58 PM
I've always had trouble dating. But then again I'm also the kind of person who would rather be alone most of the time so that doesn't help. Seriously I've only been on a handful of dates in the last decade. So I don't have a clue about much in that area anyway.
 
2014-01-21 07:11:38 PM

JAGUART: I'm pretty sure I'm in the 100th percentile of people who don't understand the damn headline.


Get out of the basement now!
 
2014-01-21 07:21:15 PM
Heh ... I went on three "hang out" things with this one guy before I figured out they were dates. We usually went dutch... and were friends for a number of years before that so that added to the confusion.
 
2014-01-21 07:21:43 PM

Go Fornicate Without a Partner: Are what?  On a date, or hanging out?


Yes.
 
2014-01-21 07:26:31 PM

Oldiron_79: que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.

Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.


In other words, in 3 years you're a bald man.
 
2014-01-21 07:27:40 PM
What's it called if I hire escorts?
 
2014-01-21 07:29:55 PM
I'm glad I am old and don't have to/want to do that shiat any more.  I never did figure it out.
When social skills were passed out, I don't know where the fark I was.
 
2014-01-21 07:30:08 PM

ifky: What's it called if I hire escorts?


Guaranteed ROI.
 
2014-01-21 07:31:57 PM
FTFA: A new survey commissioned by ChristianMingle.com and JDate.com

Yup, that looks like the best sample group.
 
2014-01-21 07:37:15 PM
I have a very simple test for determining whether I'm on a date or just hanging out:

1. Am I one of the people involved in this social interaction?

If yes, then it's just hanging out. Women want nothing to do with me beyond that.
 
2014-01-21 07:44:24 PM
I thought it was up to the woman:  if it goes well, and she likes you, it's a date; otherwise, you were just hanging out
 
2014-01-21 07:45:21 PM

Oldiron_79: que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.

Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.


5'10" feels short? What?

/5'6"
//love it
 
2014-01-21 07:47:32 PM
My grandpa taught me a cute little saying that really helped clarify things for me.  So I'll share this piece of wisdom with you...

If you hit the brown, a date went down.  Otherwise, just hanging out, guys.
 
2014-01-21 07:48:24 PM
I only once went out with someone alone that I didn't already at least sorta know. The one time I did this I insisted that it was NOT a date-even though he wanted it to be-and added a "No thanks I'm absolutely not interested in anything remotely like a date EVER"....then I ended up marrying him.

/never did figure out how the whole dating thing works
 
2014-01-21 07:59:45 PM

SirEattonHogg: That's idiotic.  If you are single and the other person is single and you're asking them to go do something just by yourselves.... it's almost certainly a frigging date.

Even if it's not a formal date and it's sort of gray area, you and the other person are most definetly calculating privately in one's head whether they have any remote interest in going any further with you.


So two people of the opposite sex who are single can never go do something alone ever unless it's a date? I know some people have that mentality, but honestly it just seems weird to me. I'm happy when I'm single, I'm not always looking for someone, and sometimes I'd just like to go do some activity with another person in a purely platonic way. When you don't happen to have hobbies/interests that line up with what most people of your own gender like, this isn't always easy.
 
2014-01-21 08:13:19 PM
If you're a guy, why on earth would you just want to "hang out" with a girl? Not enough manufactured drama in your life or something?
 
2014-01-21 08:31:54 PM

baconbeard: If you're a guy, why on earth would you just want to "hang out" with a girl?


I haven't slept with her yet?
 
2014-01-21 08:42:25 PM
Yup. That would be me. Very slow on the uptake, I am. Glad im not dating anymore.
 
2014-01-21 08:50:23 PM

baconbeard: If you're a guy, why on earth would you just want to "hang out" with a girl? Not enough manufactured drama in your life or something?


To be fair, my male friends always end up in or close to being in a fight when I hang out with them.  That's pretty drama-ish to me.  And I'm a big guy, I don't need to go around acting macho and manly like many guys.  I know I can beat your ass if I need to.  My female friends have different drama.  I'm nearly like a boyfriend at times but without the sex.  Basically what I'm trying to say is I hate everyone.
 
2014-01-21 08:52:26 PM
All dates are hanging out. Hope that helps.
 
2014-01-21 08:55:14 PM
If I am out with a woman, it is a date.
I am never out with a woman.
 
2014-01-21 09:04:02 PM

Karma Chameleon: I've been with my SO for around four years, and while that's not very long in the grand scheme of things, I feel like I've forgotten how to date and have lost all my game. My only hope is that if she leaves me, it's because of some tragic accident resulting in her death, so at least I'll get some sympathy sex.


I work with a colleague who runs a goddamn train on internet dating sites.  His secret?  His profile is set up as a widower.  He's 38, and women seem to be drawn to men who lost their wives young.

In reality, he is divorced because his wife caught him cheating on her, and she's very much alive.
 
2014-01-21 09:13:48 PM

GGracie: I am currently in a 69, so I'm getting a kick...

Actually, I am just giving a bj, I can't type and do the other.  Too distracting :-p


How YOU doin?
 
2014-01-21 09:16:50 PM

Oldiron_79: que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.

Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.


Hi. I like gingers... But only if you have a ginger beard. I have a strange Adam Savage fantasy if like to fulfill one day.
 
2014-01-21 09:19:08 PM
I never had much luck dating random people. Going to dinner and movie with someone I didn't know at all. Either I didn't like her or she didn't like me. Almost always just wasted my money.

Better off just hanging out with friends and getting to know people. Find someone that likes your stories and laughs at your jokes. You will end up hanging out again and might even get some sex. It won't feel like a job interview that costs you $150 bucks.
 
2014-01-21 09:30:29 PM

See My Az Go: Oldiron_79: que.guero: Oldiron_79: I never had any trouble meeting womens for reals in a bar or something but interweb dating has not been kind to me. I routinely get shot down by women that would be all up ons if I meet them in a bar.

The Intertubes artificially inflate market values for the more than one cat demographic.

Well Im fairly tall but about the height short liars claim (6'2") which hurts because they probably assume Im a 5'10" liar instead of 6'2".

Also Im a ginger so women using the filter to look for a certain hair color are probably not looking for mine even though they might consider a tall charming fellow that hair color if there arent any tall brunettes giving them time of day.

Hi. I like gingers... But only if you have a ginger beard. I have a strange Adam Savage fantasy if like to fulfill one day.


Well being January I do have my wintertime face warmer(beard)
 
2014-01-21 09:31:55 PM
Due to the recession, 69 is now 96, please adjust your sex notes accordingly!
 
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