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(ABC)   Here's something everyone can get behind: Best ways to harass annoying telemarketers that harass you   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 62
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17857 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2014 at 3:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2014-01-21 03:28:36 PM  
9 votes:

Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.


Sympathy for the devil?

The practice is illegal.  And most of them are scams intended to rip people off and/or are staffed by cons.  I have no sympathy whatsoever.  If someone is trying to mug me, is it impolite to tell them to get bent?  Should I be more enlightened and understanding of their predicament and instead open my wallet to them?
2014-01-21 02:58:47 PM  
8 votes:
I'm somewhat amused about an article on how annoying telemarketers are that has an autoplay ad you can't stop.
2014-01-21 03:00:15 PM  
6 votes:
In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.
2014-01-21 04:04:22 PM  
5 votes:

Sybarite: Diogenes: Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.

Sympathy for the devil?

The practice is illegal.


There's nothing illegal about telemarketing. There's a big telemarketing call center about a mile from where I'm sitting right now that's been there for a over a decade. Even if you have your name on the Do Not Call registry, it's perfectly legal for anyone you've done business with to contact you up to 18 months after your last purchase.


We're talking past each other.

I have no problem with legal telemarketers or people you've allowed/done business with before.

But neither TFA nor I are talking about the legal ones.
2014-01-21 02:30:37 PM  
4 votes:
Or just hang up and live your life.
2014-01-21 06:53:45 PM  
3 votes:
<CSB>

Short version of my proudest moment, circa 2001.

Got a telemarketer selling "Cancer Insurance" which supposedly pays for all your treatment costs should you get the big C. Being an aspiring improviser, I let the guy make his pitch and gave MAJOR indicators of interest -- "How much is it?" "Is there a waiting period before it takes effect?" "How soon can I sign up?" The telemarketer was so overly stoked to have a live prospect that he blew through the rest of the pitch and went straight for the close "Would you be interested in signing up for this now?" "Totally, let's do this." I said, "So I can sign up for this right now and have it go into effect immediately?"

"Yes." The marketer said.

"Sweet!" I exclaimed. "It will save me a bundle!"

There was a dramatic pause and then the marketer asked, "Oh, have you ever had cancer?"

In my most hopeful tone possible. "Well, I *have* cancer but I am going to kick it's ass and by having you guys pay my treatment costs, my pancreas and I will get through this."

Another dramatic pause.

"I am so sorry sir, but you don't qualify."

Since he had already answered "yes" to my question of can i sign up for this right now, I continued to press him to sign me up -- "But you said I was eligible... You said I could sign up right now!"

After a few moments of my insisting that he be true to his word and let me sign up, I truly believe I could hear tears and he ended the call saying "I am so sorry to have wasted your time..."

Now THAT is how you destroy a telemarketer.

</CSB>
2014-01-21 05:28:25 PM  
3 votes:
I have a good friend who a few years back evolved a brilliant scheme.

He set up a point system with his son, who was 11 or so. There was a system whereby the son would earn points by keeping the call on the line. From memory it was something like for every minute he could keep an unsolicited call on the line, he'd earn a point. If it was a scam call ("we've detected your computer has a virus"), it was two points. Anything over 10 minutes earned a bonus point per two or three minutes.

Those points could then be redeemed towards video games.

Fun for everyone except the scumbag on the other end of the call.
2014-01-21 04:51:48 PM  
3 votes:
I consider them my private playground. Speak gibberish until they hang up, make up crazy stuff as I go along. After a long difficult day at a job actually helping humanity it's nice to unwind by tweaking uninvited callers. I don't ask them to call me so they are fair game. I owe them nothing, least of all courtesy. It's all fun.
2014-01-21 04:10:21 PM  
3 votes:
I put on my robe and wizard hat, and then...
2014-01-21 07:03:25 PM  
2 votes:
I usually just speak German at them.
2014-01-21 06:23:51 PM  
2 votes:
I use to mess with the robo-callers, even though I knew I was just being put on the "hot list" or whatever you could call it, because I was a known valid number that actually picked up.  I also learned fairly quickly that the guys on the other end were mostly immune to whatever insults, time wasters, loud noises, or anything else you threw at them.

There's only one thing that I found that seriously and legitimately ruffled their jimmies.  I held them on the line for as long as I felt comfortable, and answered any questions they had with whatever BS I wanted to give.  When I got bored, I'd wait until they asked a question and then I'd say,

"Wait, I think I discovered a problem."
They'd say, "What?"
and I'd follow, "The problem is, you've wasted your life and your family is ashamed of you."

I'll be damned if that didn't cut to the bone every single time.  I had a guy, a auto warranty telemarketer, stay on the phone for twenty minutes cussing me out at the top of his voice.  I know I heard a girl cry before she hung up.

You have to understand, a lot of these guys don't know they work for scammers.  They're mostly down on their luck individuals who just waiting for their lives to get back on track.  One dude told me he was journeyman welder.  Another woman had to go to work for the first time in her life when her husband left her and her three children.  They've been told that other companies scam people, but this company is the real deal.  They've been told they're licensed, and they're allowed to make these calls and that the do not call list doesn't apply to them, for some reason or another.  One guy told me he was a federally licensed direct marketing engineer through the Department of Agriculture.  Why the DOA?  "Who knows, man. The government is farked up. That's just how it works."  They would tell me these things because they seriously wanted to prove to me that they are loved and valued by someone.

So knowing that these people are real human beings with feelings and pride and self worth, only then do you unlock the secret of how to really destroy them.  You have to get in there, under their skin, by surprise, and shock them with the lowest accusation of worthlessness you can possibly throw at them.  The delivery is key.  Do it right, and they don't recover easily.
2014-01-21 05:09:59 PM  
2 votes:

Sybarite: Diogenes: Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.

Sympathy for the devil?

The practice is illegal.


There's nothing illegal about telemarketing. There's a big telemarketing call center about a mile from where I'm sitting right now that's been there for a over a decade. Even if you have your name on the Do Not Call registry, it's perfectly legal for anyone you've done business with to contact you up to 18 months after your last purchase.


It is most certainly illegal for the Card Services people to call and try to convince you to give out personal information that can be used to steal your identity. These companies are generally offshore so there's not much the FTC can do about them except try to shut them down. We're not talking about companies that you've done business with recently since these Card Services people are not calling on behalf of any bank or credit union that you may do business with. And even if you've done business with a company in the last 18 months & don't want them to telemarket you, then you do have the right to ask them to not call you any longer.

Then there are the ones that claim you've won a "free" cruise. Then they try to get you to give them personal info such as credit card numbers, bank account info, etc. to pay for the fees for your "free" cruise.

And of course let us not forget the ones calling & purporting to be from Microsoft & trying to scare you into giving them personal info so they can help you get viruses off your computer. Except for the fact that Microsoft never calls people and does this

Telemarketing companies like these are breaking the law. What they are doing is illegal and I have zero sympathy for the lying cheating scammers who try to trick people in this manner.

It's also illegal
2014-01-21 04:48:08 PM  
2 votes:

Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.


So you're a telemarketer?
2014-01-21 04:45:06 PM  
2 votes:

Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.


Exactly. I'm not ashamed to admit that as a kid, I worked one of these jobs simply because I was a kid with no experience to offer anyone else. They were hiring and no other place was and I really had no other choice for employment where I lived. That said, it was the worst job I ever had bar none. These people hiring you all lie to you about what they offer (benefits, commissions, etc) are the cheapest SOBs ever (had to use paper scripts and fugging rotary phones, which are hell on your neck and eyes) and string you along with promises and lies as long as possible, hoping you don't catch on and quit. Unsurprisingly, about 2 months after I quit, the operation was gone... Possibly went under or maybe just moving to avoid paying off its debts or fraud.

The people (if they even use people anymore) calling you hate what they do, but don't have any other options for work. It's soul-crushing to daily go to a job where you are expected to call someone's mother or grandmother and try to sell them something you know no one needs. It's even worse when you realize that old-sounding, possilby senile lady on the other end of the line is naive or gullible and eagerly wants the piece of junk you're selling, and you internally scream when your supervisor has stumbled onto your call and realizes this and rushes over to push you to push more and more crap on that person.

My conscience could only take about a month and a half of it and I quit. Only job I ever quit and the only "failure" I've had I'll be proud to admit to.
2014-01-21 04:37:54 PM  
2 votes:

cookiefleck: A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.


Unfortunately, there's a lot of unscrupulous collectors out there as well. Some will hound you over an already paid or expired debt, some will threaten and harass you, and others constantly call you at work. Some will call your friends, neighbors and family pretending to be a close friend or the government in order to get your number and address (which is illegal, especially if they disclose your financial status), and a few have even posed as cops and come to your house threatening to arrest you. (Also so, so very illegal)
2014-01-21 04:30:23 PM  
2 votes:
I can barely be bothered to answer a phone call on my mobile computer, why would I do so for a number that doesn't display the name of one of the people I know enough that they're loaded into it?
2014-01-21 04:28:10 PM  
2 votes:

cookiefleck: A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.


Yay, I love getting collection calls intended for other people. Some random indebted person once handed out one of my work phone numbers. That was fun getting constant debt collection calls for a random person at an office number equipped with no call blocking. Many stupid collection people won't stop calling even when you tell them that they have the wrong number (that's when you can actually get a live person on the line). What do they think they are going to accomplish? Either wear you down until you admit to being their target or until you offer to pay the stranger's debts?
2014-01-21 04:22:38 PM  
2 votes:
Just 2 short years until the next presidential election and all of the calls that come with it Swing State residents!!!
2014-01-21 04:18:11 PM  
2 votes:

stevarooni: cookiefleck: A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.

True, you're better off just talking to debt people.  Of course there are consumer protections against harassing calls, as well.


Unless you don't actually have a debt with them in the first place and they're just trying to use scare tactics to get you to pay them to go away.

/google Takhar Group and thank the stars you'll probably never have to deal with them
2014-01-21 04:16:42 PM  
2 votes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmKtS-k12b0">http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=ZmKtS-k12b0

The only way to deal with Telemarketers
2014-01-21 04:08:47 PM  
2 votes:
Does Nomorobo work for political robocalls?  If so, I'll be signing up before the 2016 elections.
2014-01-21 04:01:58 PM  
2 votes:
I just say "One second, let me go turn the stove off..."  Set the phone down, go back to playing GTA 5.
2014-01-21 02:32:47 PM  
2 votes:
Oh, good, I shall forward that to 2003, which is I think the last time I got a call from a telemarketer
2014-01-22 01:21:41 AM  
1 votes:

OniNeko: As one of the poor bastards that used to work in one, we were trained to be very mindful of taking people off of our list. That short, polite response is all you really need to get most callers off of your back.


You're a farking liar.

If telemarketers would actually take people off their list when they were asked, this crap wouldn't still be going on.

You try to make it sound like it was your tough luck to be the asshole that everyone tells "Fark off, asshole", but you are took the job, you called them, and you won't stop just because they ask you to.

You're lying when you say that you would take them off the list.  Telemarketers simply don't give a rats ass.

Today, the only phone I use is a cell phone, and I still get robo-calls to that phone.  That's illegal, right off the bat.  Those companies are breaking the law, and they know it.  Asking them to "put me on your do not call list, please" is not going to help, because they are farking assholes who don't give a damn about the law.  So go fark yourself with the "just ask politely, that's all you need" crap.

There is no reason to be polite to a telemarketer.  They are not polite, they are not honest, they already know they are breaking the law.  Either waste their time, or call them a cocksucker and hang up the phone.  Being nice to them just makes their job easier.
2014-01-21 09:34:42 PM  
1 votes:

Duck_of_Doom:

I hate the robocalls though.  You keep getting them, even if you're on the Do Not Call registry.  No way to backtrack as they use dummy phone numbers or it comes up as restricted.  And if you try to reach a person, they turn around and say pressing 1 gave permission for them to contact you.  The worst part is they don't always clear the phone line when you hang up.  Had that at work, where the line was tied up for 15 minutes after hanging up with them.  Strange.


Older phone systems do this. The connection is not broken until the originator hangs up. Scammers use this by calling people and saying they're the police, or the credit card company, and saying there has been a fraud and "to verify I am who I say I am hang up and call 911/the number on your card". They have dial tone recording and then have an operator who will 'answer' the call and then 'put you through' to the first person. Bingo. You not believe they are who they said they are because you called them.
2014-01-21 08:22:22 PM  
1 votes:
Here's an old-school hacker's way to eliminate tele marketers:

Surprisingly, despite all the high-tech gadgets nowadays, the computers running up-to-date OS's... the one thing telemarketer computers listen for when they dial: http://www.phworld.org/sounds/modern/ais/6085849900.mp3. The first three tones on this error message tells the computer that it's a bad number, so it'll hang up and blacklist the number completely. What I did requires the following:

- An older OS on a computer, or to a virtual shell. WinXP is a perfect OS for this, and can be run on the free Oracle VM VirtualBox
- TTS software. Plenty of free stuff out there, like Dspeech.
- Audio editing software. Again, free stuff like Audacity.
- a good TTS voice. There are free ones out there that sound good on WinXP, as long as you can understand it.

What you do:

1. Using your audio editor, cut out all but the three tones in the error message and save. The rest of the message isn't important, but you need the three tones.
2. Using your TTS software, create an audio message in a voice of your choosing that other people can hear and understand. Something like "We're sorry, no one is available at this number, please leave a message or call back later." Make sure you can easily understand it, or get a second person (in case you're hard of hearing). The telemarketers won't hear it, but your expected calls will. Save this audio message to a file your audio editor will love.
3. In your audio editor, open up the audio file containing your message, and copy the three-tone sound to the beginning of the greeting, maybe even leaving a space for authenticity (and possibly allow your expected callers to recoup from the sounds). Save this new file.
4. Either get your answering machine close to the speakers of your PC, or transfer this file to a portable player that has a good sound. Either way, go to set your greeting on the answering machine, and play the new sound so the machine can pick it up.

Voila! Now you have a message that telemarketers will hear and automatically hang up. The computers they use will automatically blacklist the number (ie similar to being on a "Do Not Call" list, only more definite), and your expected calls will not. Most likely cost to do this: $0 (unless you don't have Win XP, which might raise the price a bit).
2014-01-21 07:14:46 PM  
1 votes:

warrenn: The best way to foil the telemarketers is to stay on the line as long as possible acting like an interested customer. If you pull pranks, cuss, or whatever, they'll hang up and move on to the next person. They depend on volume. Just like spam, they're looking for a tiny success rate. If everyone hangs up immediately, a single telemarketer could handle 100+ calls per hour. But if each person keep them on the line for 10 minutes, they only reach 6 people an hour and the business would cease to exist. They wouldn't make enough sales to keep the lights on.


yes, but how do I do that without wasting my own time?

why can't I just have Siri talk to them...  or plug them into some other telemarketer and have them jerk each other off ?
2014-01-21 07:04:29 PM  
1 votes:
The best way to foil the telemarketers is to stay on the line as long as possible acting like an interested customer. If you pull pranks, cuss, or whatever, they'll hang up and move on to the next person. They depend on volume. Just like spam, they're looking for a tiny success rate. If everyone hangs up immediately, a single telemarketer could handle 100+ calls per hour. But if each person keep them on the line for 10 minutes, they only reach 6 people an hour and the business would cease to exist. They wouldn't make enough sales to keep the lights on.
2014-01-21 06:53:22 PM  
1 votes:

Lamberts Ho Man: Does Nomorobo work for political robocalls?  If so, I'll be signing up before the 2016 elections.


No. Nomorobo specifically will not filter political calls.
I have Nomorobo and it works great on killing well over half of the robo calls.

I think you need several layers of screening.  I have a block list on Panasonic phones that works great with couple of key presses to add but sadly, it only holds 10 numbers.   I keep erasing old numbers to block and adding new ones.

I'm planning on setting up another dedicated PC just to hang up.
2014-01-21 06:48:57 PM  
1 votes:

Terrible Old Man: shtychkn: "Tell me more," he says when the pitchman comes on the line. "Give me all the details." From that point on, the Texan's only goal is to keep the pitchman on the line as long as possible.

As a former telemarketer this is probably the worst thing you could do to them: waste their time.  Hanging up right away isn't a problem, it lets them move on to new leads (potential customers).  But wastign their time drives them up a wall mad.

I call bullshiat. A river of bullshiat. As a former telemarketer myself, I didn't give a shiat about that at all. It wasn't my time you are wasting, it was company time. At most, you're giving me entertainment once I start to suspect you're lying, at the very least, hey, THANKS FOR BREAKING UP THE MONOTONY I'M SUFFERING ALL DAY BY GOING PAST THE INTRODUCTION!

If you say no thank you, hang up, great. No problem, next number. If not, great, now I get to read something different from the 47 calls I just had say no. The caller doesn't give a shiat anymore than the guy taking orders at McD's cares that you decide you want a number 3 rather than a number 1. At the very least, you've given them something different to do in an 8 hour day.

It isn't like the caller owns the company and every "yes" is money in his pocket, he's just a drone who gets paid by the hour, and doesn't give a shiat how those hours are spent. Obviously.


I guess you weren't paid on commission. Some are.
2014-01-21 06:14:11 PM  
1 votes:
I have fun with them - really.

Me: 'For training and other purposes this call will be recorded'.
Them:  Wut?
'
I have a question for you first - What is never the answer?'
'WTF?'
'Simple, if you can answer that easy question, we can discuss things further. Call me back when you've worked it out.'

I had one marketeer pleading with me to hang up as his equipment didn't allow him to do it. Really.
Sometimes I have an enjoyable chat, laughs on both sides if they're amenable.

But they never call back.
2014-01-21 05:53:45 PM  
1 votes:
Sybarite:  Even if you have your name on the Do Not Call registry, it's perfectly legal for anyone you've done business with to contact you up to 18 months after your last purchase.

Almost true.

The DNC does have an exception for previous business relationships, BUT, and this is the part they never seem to understand, there is also an exception to that exception.   If I tell a caller not to call again or to place me on their internal Do Not Call list, that trumps their DNC exception and they are again forbidden from calling, just as if their prior business relationship never existed.

Under the DNC, a prior business relationship creates only an implied agreement to accept calls from that business for a certain period.  This implied agreement can be cancelled at anytime by an explicit rejection.   In other words, a company you have done business with in the past can call you for 18 months UNLESS you ask them to stop, in which case they are then treated just like everyone else under the DNC.

Every company is required to keep an internal no call list which is different from and in addition to, the national DNC call list.  The mere failure to keep and maintain such an internal list can also be a separate violation.
2014-01-21 05:46:04 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: Sybarite: here's nothing illegal about telemarketing. There's a big telemarketing call center about a mile from where I'm sitting right now that's been there for a over a decade. Even if you have your name on the Do Not Call registry, it's perfectly legal for anyone you've done business with to contact you up to 18 months after your last purchase.

That's why nobody has my phone number. Not the credit card companies, not Amazon, especially not the student loan people, nobody. Send me an email. They have that already.

I normally don't fark with the callers because geez, I would hate to have to do that job. But the last guy who called me from my ISP when I was expecting a call about a job, didn't get the nice treatment. When I found out it was just this poor shlep on the line, and not even calling from the number I was used to ignoring, I snarled, "Do you have a do-not-call list?" He couldn't wait to get off the line. I've never heard from them again. Oh, they still send me tons of junk mail. You'd think at some point they'd give up, but no, they never do.

I hate my phone so much that it's not even turned on half the time. I'm not dealing with telemarketers.



I've gotten to the point where I fark with the junk mail people too. I let it lay around for a few days then take the info from one company and fold it up and send it back to a different company in their postage paid envelopes. Often it's the RNC or a republican congressional campaign group. Or some American family shiat show. Sometimes I'll put dirty napkins in or pennies. Anything to fark with them. And in the process I'm costing them money by sending them mail back on their pre-paid account.

A few years ago I donated $20 to the ACLU in my friend's name (he's VERY republican) and he's gotten phone calls and mail for at least 5 years as a result of my $20 donation. Even he admits it's one of the greatest pranks ever.

Good luck with yours :-)
2014-01-21 05:40:15 PM  
1 votes:
I get a LOT less telemarketing calls since I switched to an unlisted number.
2014-01-21 05:09:00 PM  
1 votes:

cookiefleck: A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.


What about the three calls a day I get from collections people looking for someone with my last name?  Given that sort of fishing is actually illegal, I don't think I should have to put up with it.

/probably going to get rid of my land line because debt collectors and telemarketers are the only people who call it
2014-01-21 05:04:04 PM  
1 votes:

shtychkn: "Tell me more," he says when the pitchman comes on the line. "Give me all the details." From that point on, the Texan's only goal is to keep the pitchman on the line as long as possible.

As a former telemarketer this is probably the worst thing you could do to them: waste their time.  Hanging up right away isn't a problem, it lets them move on to new leads (potential customers).  But wastign their time drives them up a wall mad.

Asked to give a credit card number, the Texas man gives a false one, then relaxes while the pitchman attempts to confirm it. When it cannot be confirmed, he transposes a few digits, re-submits it, and rests again while the pitchman struggles to confirm the second number. Eventually the Texan, when through toying with his victim, invites the telemarketer to call again the next day, so they can try again.

While this sounds like a good idea in the idea of keeping them wasting time longer AND getting their hopes up, it is technically committing a crime: fraud.  attempting to pass off a fake credit card number, for a real one IS a crime - even if it was in pursuit of annoying the telemarketer and had no actual desire to purchase said product.


It's worse than that. If by chance the credit card is a valid number, you've committed theft.
2014-01-21 05:02:55 PM  
1 votes:
I love messing with telemarketers.  If they call at work, I let them start their pitch.  When they break for a second, I go full into "information on our services" pitch. I actually got into a battle with one.  "Are you interested in Charter or not?" "Well, are you interested, I can register you over the phone right now?"  At home though, that's more fun.  A few years ago I got a call for a video club.  I asked if they had any decent midget porn.  Then the time Time-Life called, bringing up that I had bought the Treasure of Christmas (this was years ago, mind), I told them I was a Satanist, the telemarketer said "you're a WHAT?!" and hung up.

I hate the robocalls though.  You keep getting them, even if you're on the Do Not Call registry.  No way to backtrack as they use dummy phone numbers or it comes up as restricted.  And if you try to reach a person, they turn around and say pressing 1 gave permission for them to contact you.  The worst part is they don't always clear the phone line when you hang up.  Had that at work, where the line was tied up for 15 minutes after hanging up with them.  Strange.
2014-01-21 04:57:58 PM  
1 votes:
Tom Mabe has been all over this for years

http://youtu.be/mkdoogjic4I
2014-01-21 04:53:44 PM  
1 votes:

thismomentinblackhistory: Or just hang up and live your life.


Nonono - don't hang up - just put the phone down and get on with living your life.  They are trained to talk in a continuous stream to prevent you from politely ending the call, so it will take them a minute or more to realise you are no longer there.

This wastes their resources as a company and affects the stats of the caller as an individual.  If everyone did this, it would not be financially viable to cold call.
2014-01-21 04:51:52 PM  
1 votes:

Terrible Old Man: Exactly. I'm not ashamed to admit that as a kid, I worked one of these jobs simply because I was a kid with no experience to offer anyone else. They were hiring and no other place was and I really had no other choice for employment where I lived. That said, it was the worst job I ever had bar none. These people hiring you all lie to you about what they offer (benefits, commissions, etc) are the cheapest SOBs ever (had to use paper scripts and fugging rotary phones, which are hell on your neck and eyes) and string you along with promises and lies as long as possible, hoping you don't catch on and quit. Unsurprisingly, about 2 months after I quit, the operation was gone... Possibly went under or maybe just moving to avoid paying off its debts or fraud.

The people (if they even use people anymore) calling you hate what they do, but don't have any other options for work. It's soul-crushing to daily go to a job where you are expected to call someone's mother or grandmother and try to sell them something you know no one needs. It's even worse when you realize that old-sounding, possilby senile lady on the other end of the line is naive or gullible and eagerly wants the piece of junk you're selling, and you internally scream when your supervisor has stumbled onto your call and realizes this and rushes over to push you to push more and more crap on that person.


So... we should be nice to the poor guy just trying to sell lots of useless crap to naive, gullible old ladies?
2014-01-21 04:46:54 PM  
1 votes:

shtychkn: "Tell me more," he says when the pitchman comes on the line. "Give me all the details." From that point on, the Texan's only goal is to keep the pitchman on the line as long as possible.

As a former telemarketer this is probably the worst thing you could do to them: waste their time.  Hanging up right away isn't a problem, it lets them move on to new leads (potential customers).  But wastign their time drives them up a wall mad.


Yep.  That's the intent, Shtychkn.  It's not nice, and certainly not a productive use of my time, but it is entertaining.
2014-01-21 04:45:23 PM  
1 votes:
i34.tinypic.com
2014-01-21 04:28:17 PM  
1 votes:
I get those stupid car warranty calls on my work cell maybe once a week. Never get any calls on my personal cell.
2014-01-21 04:26:45 PM  
1 votes:

cookiefleck: A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.


I had a collection agency calling for months looking for the guy who used to have my cell number. I was polite the first couple of times and explained their error, but they didn't believe me. After that I just had fun with them: promising payments, asking them to send documents, telling them to go fark their mothers, demanding to speak with supervisors, etc. At some point I authorized them to do a credit check at which point they called to confirm my "new" address and place of employment. It was during that phone call that it dawned on them that:

1. People living in Fort McMurray, Alberta for over a year generally don't have 519 area codes.
2. I'd been jerking them around for several months.
2014-01-21 04:20:38 PM  
1 votes:
I get them at work. Usually robocalls talking about a small business loan or trying to sell leads. But, every once in a while the sun shines through the clouds and I get these guys who call out of Arizona who immediately assume I'm the boss (company name has his name in it) when I say he's not in they ask for his cell number and sometimes get real damn aggressive. Homophobic rants and the like. Last time I called I gave them the rejection hotline number and the guy sounded so thrilled to get the bosses cell. Yeah, two minutes later he calls back screaming about how much cock I suck and how he's going to kick my ass and he asks me "you think that was pretty funny, huh?" Yes. Yes I do.
2014-01-21 04:20:29 PM  
1 votes:
If it's a robocall, I try to make it all the way through to the "take me off the list" button.  If it doesn't have one, connect to the salesman to tell them not to call anymore.  If it's a real person, I may interrupt them at some point to ask if I can ask a question.  That being, "if you had a superpower, what would it be?" Or "What is your favorite book ever?" etc.  If they do finish and ask to confirm my name and number, I just say that this is a residential line, and I'm not allowed to conduct commerce over it.
2014-01-21 04:19:03 PM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: It's nice to see that ABC News is writing ad copy for nomorobo.com. Nomorobo.com, your free destination for ending annoying robo calls. Visit nomorobo.com for more information on how you can sign up for this revolutionary service with no more than an email address. Remember: nomorobo.com. Visit today.


A good portion of the news today is lazy, untrained "reporters" regurgitating some pitch from an ad agency trying to create some buzz.  Luckily, we have Fark.com to link every single one of these for us.
2014-01-21 04:13:01 PM  
1 votes:

Lamberts Ho Man: Does Nomorobo work for political robocalls?  If so, I'll be signing up before the 2016 elections.


This so very much!

I can't remember the last time I received a call from a telemarketer, but the damn political "polls" (always at dinner time.  WTF?) are enough to drive a person mad.
2014-01-21 04:12:48 PM  
1 votes:
I frequently got calls on my cellphone from random cities across the US, all from the same "Credit Card Services" company. While the caller ID made it easy to tell, it was still annoying to feel my phone vibrating and have to check to see if it was actually a human.

Then I added this to the start of my outgoing message. After a couple of weeks, the robocalls dropped to almost zero.
2014-01-21 04:11:18 PM  
1 votes:

Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.



I play a game where I say "let me get a pen," set down the phone, and see how long they'll stay on the line.

The rule is that I am not allowed to check back and say "hang on."

It usually peaks out around 2 minutes, but I got 7 minutes out of a guy once.

I actually haven't played the game in about a year because they all seemed to have stopped calling.

/ fark those guys.
// Seriously. fark 'em
2014-01-21 04:09:56 PM  
1 votes:
I just hang up on them. If they don't get the message and call again, I pretend to be a child. "Mommy isn't home. Do you know where my Mommy is? I'm huuungryyyy."

*click*
2014-01-21 04:07:49 PM  
1 votes:
My dad was evil with these poor bastards. He would fark mercilously with them. They'd hang up on him.

/just the way he was
2014-01-21 04:06:27 PM  
1 votes:
I kept one slimy telemarketer on the line for an hour.  She was trying to sell a dating service, but never mentioned that service until an hour after I started answering inane questions, at which point I had the satisfaction of hearing her scream her frustration when I calmly refused her service.  All in all a good time, as I was able to continue doing the cleaning while talking to her.
2014-01-21 04:05:14 PM  
1 votes:
A lot of people confuse "telemarketing" and collection calls. If you haven't paid your car note in 3 months, don't be surprised that people are calling you. I understand the calls are super annoying, but you're better off communicating with the collections company than waking up upset to not find your car.
2014-01-21 04:03:33 PM  
1 votes:
There are a few conversations in life I'm tired of overhearing. This is one of them. Others include:
  * "You know what happens when you shoot a [small animal] with a [large caliber rifle]?"
  * "Man, I was so drunk! I was so drunk that [crazy shiat happened, as far as I know]!"

thismomentinblackhistory: Or just hang up and live your life.


This.

BunkoSquad: Oh, good, I shall forward that to 2003, which is I think the last time I got a call from a telemarketer


Also this.
2014-01-21 04:02:20 PM  
1 votes:
If I'm not busy I mash 0 until I get to a human and either shout at them or give them the Consuela treatment.

s3.amazonaws.com
2014-01-21 03:57:51 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: Sybarite: In a later column, Lazarus, who calls this strategy a "reverse scam," invited readers to submit more strategies for making the lives of telemarketers a living hell.

I always try to take some time out of my day to worsen the lives of people in shiatty, low-paying jobs.

Sympathy for the devil?

The practice is illegal.



There's nothing illegal about telemarketing. There's a big telemarketing call center about a mile from where I'm sitting right now that's been there for a over a decade. Even if you have your name on the Do Not Call registry, it's perfectly legal for anyone you've done business with to contact you up to 18 months after your last purchase.
2014-01-21 03:57:36 PM  
1 votes:
It's nice to see that ABC News is writing ad copy for nomorobo.com. Nomorobo.com, your free destination for ending annoying robo calls. Visit nomorobo.com for more information on how you can sign up for this revolutionary service with no more than an email address. Remember: nomorobo.com. Visit today.
2014-01-21 03:57:22 PM  
1 votes:
I only get two basic types of telemarketing calls these days:

1.  Some stupid Vegas Vacations which is a live person, telling me I've won a vacation to Vegas
2.  Illegal recorded spam, sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English, and usually with a spoofed phone number.
2014-01-21 03:14:51 PM  
1 votes:
i amuse myself by telling them they have a pretty voice and would make way more money doing phone sex. then i ask what kind of panties they're wearing (they're always guys) and tell them i'm not wearing anything at all. usually by this time they've yelled and hung up, but if not, mmm, let's talk about their hot man rod and, i dunno, something about gaping and gasping for more or something.

i'm easily amused.
2014-01-21 03:06:08 PM  
1 votes:
A man in Glendale, Calif., submitted his strategy, which involves telling a pitchmen that he needs to get a pen and paper, then disappears for a bit. When he returns, he says he needs to get his wallet from the other room. Gosh, he says when he returns, that darn wallet must be in the car. Can you hold on a minute while I get it? And so on. He says with pride that while he's never gotten to the 30-minute mark with a telemarketer, he's often broken 20.

I'm not a busy person, in fact, last night I re-watched 3 reruns of the Big Bang Theory non-stop because I was too lazy to find a movie to watch. But Christ, Glendale, get a life.
2014-01-21 02:56:23 PM  
1 votes:
www.zgeek.com
 
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